The Side Effects of You (24 page)

It had been six months of trying to get pregnant, and I was about ready to give up, but Charles suggested that we talk to a doctor. He said that there might be some medical issues that were causing the issue, so I agreed.

We got to the appointment, only to learn that we were already pregnant. I was blown away. Since we weren't expecting to get a positive result, I didn't know what to say when the doctor asked me how far along I thought I might be. I had just had a menstrual the month prior, so I knew the miracle had occurred a couple of weeks ago, when we'd decided to just make love. No ovulation kit, no temperature taking, and no pillows under my ass to elevate my pelvis.

“Pregnant,” Charles repeated.

I had the same astounded look on my face that he had. “Doctor, are you sure? I mean, we've taken a test every month.”

“Well, sometimes you can get a false negative, so we are going to do a vaginal ultrasound to see how far along you are,” she answered.

“Okay, but I do want to add that I was diagnosed with vaginal herpes a few years ago,” I said.

“Oh yeah? When was your last outbreak?”

“Oh my God. It's been over three years now.”

“That's amazing. I mean, that virus is a nightmare for some and a breeze for others,” the doctor noted.

“I've heard, and we're blessed that my husband hasn't contracted it.”

“And he may never, but unless you two are working on babies, I recommend you still take protective measures.”

“I'm not worried,” Charles said, taking my hand.

“I'm sure, but if you can prevent it, you should,” the doctor told him.

“I know, but I'm with Sammie forever, and I'll handle whatever comes our way.” Charles smiled at me. He was truly in love with me, and he had my back.

“Okay, but I want to be honest with you, Mrs. Cooper, with that being a factor, a vaginal birth won't be an option. We can't risk harming the baby.”

“What about during the pregnancy? Are there any concerns?” Charles asked. I wanted to know the same thing.

The doctor shook her head. “No, none at all. In your womb, your baby will be safe.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

“Well, let's take a look, and as we get closer to your due date, we'll determine the date for a scheduled C-section.”

I nodded and stood. She walked over and gave me a gown.

“I need you to remove your clothing from the waist down, and I'll be right back.”

I did as she instructed, and Charles and I waited nervously. He stood next to me, holding my hand.

“I can't believe we are pregnant, baby. This is so surprising, I mean, wow. We are pregnant.” I smiled at him.

“I know, Sam. I mean, baby, I'm bursting. I can't believe this. Are you happy, baby?”

“Yes, I am elated. I'm just scared, honey,” I said.

“Why? She said you will be fine.”

“I know, but I really wanted to have a vaginal birth. And there are so many concerns about C-sections.”

“Baby, don't worry. Women have them every day, and this is the best thing for the baby.”

“I know.” I smiled again. “I hope it's a boy.” I knew Shana had given him his first child, but giving him a son would mean so much.

“I didn't want to say it, but me too. Charlie is adorable, and I love my baby girl to death, but a son, a little replica of me, would be . . .” He paused, grinning. “Let's just say I'd love to have a son.”

Just then, the doctor came back in, with a nurse in tow. They had wheeled in a piece of equipment, and I assumed it was the machine that was going to tell me how far along I was.

They dimmed the lights, and twenty minutes later, we learned we were approximately ten weeks along. I had been getting false negatives, apparently.

I asked about all the wine I had drunk after getting negative results and having what I believed at the time was my cycle. The doctor said the baby should be fine, and my husband and I went home with huge smiles on our faces.

I sat in my rocker, rocking my three-month-old baby girl. She was perfect, and although I was happy to have a new addition to my family, I missed my other kids terribly. I had seen them only a few times since that night Jeremiah attacked me in his office, and that was because Kelly and I were thick as thieves now. She helped me to see them. She was now driving, and she brought them by whenever she could. Behind Jeremiah's back, of course. Lena, J.J., Kelly, and I had a code of silence. We kept it our secret.

I put little Quintana down when Q alerted me that Kelly was downstairs. I went down, surprised to see her. She was upset. It wasn't anything new, so I fixed her a strawberry smoothie to turn her frown upside down. I made one for myself, and since my breast milk was too weak for my baby and she was on formula, I added a double shot of vodka to my smoothie. Kelly was there to vent about Jeremiah again, and I always needed something strong when we spoke about that snake. I was glad to have Q, my remedy and my prescription for the side effects of my first marriage.

“I hate him, Mom,” Kelly said. She was no longer calling me Mama Ann. Her real mom had broken her heart three weeks ago, when Kelly had asked if she could come back to live with her. She had told Kelly no and then had informed her that she was getting married and was leaving the state. Not happy at all with her gay father, Kelly had driven to my house first after getting that news and had cried her eyes out, begging me to take them away from Jeremiah.

“Don't say that, Kel. You know that isn't true.”

“It
is
true. We sit in church, and I watch him put on this performance, like he is so holy, when I see Brother Franklin creeping out of our house at the crack of dawn. Do you know Dad told me that he and Brother Franklin are only praying when he is over? He said that brothers in Christ can sometimes be closer than a husband and a wife, like David and Jonathan in the Bible.”

“Yeah, well, he is lying. King David and Jonathan shared a brotherly love and bond that had nothing to do with sex or anything against Christ. Your dad is just twisting the Word of God to justify his behavior.”

“I know, and he needs to be shut down, Ma. The church needs to know who he really is. There have been countless rumors, whispers, and allegations, and they have paid off everyone who has accused him of sexual harassment or inappropriate conduct and have just swept things under the rug, like it was nothing. Sometimes, I feel like they want to ignore the obvious. Some church folk want to believe in a fairy tale and not the truth.”

“Kelly, baby, I told you that God will take care of him.”

“I know, but I wish that God would move now. I don't want a gay father!” Her eyes welled up. “And we want to live with you. I miss out on everything, because I'm either at the church or babysitting or cooking or cleaning or helping with homework. And I'm not even looking forward to the summer, because Dad has already decided we are all going to Bible camp. I don't want to go home, Ma. I mean, I love Lena and J.J., but we had a mom who took care of us and Dad took you away. I hate him for that. I miss your blueberry pancakes in the morning.” She started to cry.

I got up and wrapped my motherly arms around my baby. I'd had Kelly since she was a small child, and we'd had our differences back in the day, when her mother used to put foolishness in her head about me, but her visits to her mom had become sporadic over the years, she and I had grown closer. She'd rebel—all teenagers did—but all in all, I knew that she loved me and that she was thankful I was her mom.

“Baby, please don't cry. I know you want God to pull him off of his throne, and so do I, but your father is powerful and has a lot of people on his team. We are no match for him. Being the head pastor of a mega church kinda makes him untouchable. I've tried to expose him, but with no proof and with none of his alleged victims actually pursuing an investigation, there is absolutely nothing we can do. Brother Franklin must be in love with him to carry on such an evil affair, and they just throw money at those who try to challenge him. Only God can tear him down.”

She cried even harder. “If it wasn't for Lena and J.J., I'd run away,” she sobbed. She was hurting, and my hands were tied.

“I know, baby, but all we can do is pray. I miss you guys so much, more than words can say. I miss taking care of you all and seeing your beautiful faces every day. I'd give anything to have you guys right here. We just have to pray, Kelly. All we have is our God. I know I was wrong for having an affair while I was married to your father, but I've repented, and my conscience is clear. God knows how bad I want you guys back.”

She just cried. After a few moments, she wiped her eyes. “I have to go and get Lena and J.J. from Mrs. Morrison,” she said. “I was supposed to be in band practice, but I had to come and talk to you. Dad is going to Memphis next week for a weeklong revival, so as soon as school is over, we will come over.”

“How about we forward the calls to your cell and you guys stay here? I will make sure Lena and J.J. get to school on time. That way, you will have some time to hang with your friends, and I will cook blueberry pancakes every morning and make dinner every night. I only have one more month to be off. A week with you guys would be great.”

“I know, Mom, but Dad has asked Mother Pearl to stay with us.”

“Well, I'll have a chat with Mother Pearl, Kel, and I promise you will be with me, even if I have to come and stay there.”

“You promise?” she asked, with hope in her eyes.

“I promise.”

She stood to leave. I packed up the fried chicken, mac and cheese, greens, potato salad, and sweet potatoes I had prepared that afternoon for dinner.
Oh, well.
It was for my kids. There was nothing left for me and Q, so I picked up the phone and ordered carryout. I hadn't expected Kelly to stop by, but I'd rather the kids eat a home-cooked meal versus some restaurant food, like they had been eating.

After Kelly left, Quentin came into the kitchen. “Baby, I'm starving. Bring on the food.” He sat down at the table, rubbing his hands together.

“It will be here in forty-five minutes,” I said.

“Huh? Where is the food you cooked? I walked in earlier to the aroma of home cooking. Where is it?”

“I gave the food I cooked to Kelly. The kids don't get home-cooked meals often, so I sent what I cooked home with her.”

He looked disappointed. “Seriously?”

“Yes, baby, and I promise I will cook tomorrow. I just couldn't send my child home to order another pizza.”

He sighed. “It's fine, baby. I understand. I wish we were all under one roof and could have dinner together. I'm sorry, baby. I know you miss them. I know you want them back, and I know it's hard to be away for them.”

“Harder than you know. I'd feel much better if Jeremiah was at least at home, looking after them. He's putting the burden on Kelly, and she is a mess, Q. I just want to go and get them.” I looked down. “By the way, next week they will be here, or I have to go there. Jeremiah is going to Memphis for a week, and I want to take advantage of the time I can spend with them.”

“Baby, is that a good idea? I mean, if Jeremiah finds out, it will ruin your custody case.”

“Q, I know. I just pray he doesn't. He is asking Mother Pearl to look after my kids. Baby, Mother Pearl is older than dirt. She's sweet, but she can't take care of my kids.”

“I don't know, Drea. I don't want you violating any laws. I mean, we have Quin now, and you can't get in any trouble with the law.”

Frustrated, I yelled, “Don't you think I know that, Q? I love my baby, you, and my new life, but I am not whole without those kids. You've met them only on a few occasions, and you haven't spent enough time with them to bond. My kids are my everything, Q. As an adult, you will be all right. Quin will always be all right, because we will be together forever, but I still have Kelly, Lena, and J.J. I love them, Q, and I miss my babies. I miss my babies.” I began to cry. He came around the counter to hold me. “You don't know my kids. You haven't had a chance to fall in love with them.” I sobbed.

He held me tighter. “You're right, baby, I don't know them well, but I know you, and I love you. I love what you love. I want what you want. They are a part of you, and I love them through you. I understand, baby, more than you know. I hate whatever makes you hurt, and I know not having them hurts. However you want to do it when Jeremiah goes out of town, I've got your back. Even if it causes trouble, I'm on your side.”

I appreciated my husband for having my back. And I was grateful that he was willing to go out on a limb for me.

* * *

I thought all was lost when it came to Jeremiah getting his comeuppance, until the following Sunday, right before Jeremiah's departure for Memphis. I was in the kitchen, preparing a big dinner. I was expecting the kids to come over as soon as he left.

Q ran into the kitchen. “Baby, turn on the news,” he said, looking around for the remote to the kitchen TV.

“Why, babe? What's going on?”

He grinned. “They got him. They got his ass.”

He found the remote and turned the television to the local news channel. The caption on the TV screen read
PASTOR JEREMIAH YOUNG EXPOSED BY A VIDEO OF HIM AND HIS GAY LOVER IN A UNCOMPROMISING POSITION.
A clip with blurred-out body parts was shown, but it was clearly of Jeremiah and Franklin in his bedroom, doing the unthinkable. How that footage had been captured and then leaked to the press had me puzzled. Kelly was the only one who could have pulled this off.

“I gotta go to the house,” I blurted.

“I'm going with you,” my husband declared.

We rushed up and got the baby and headed to my old house. Reporters were everywhere, and I was grateful I still had the garage-door opener in my car. I pulled inside the garage and quickly shut the garage door, leaving the loud, aggressive reporters in the driveway and on the lawn. Once I got inside the house, I told the kids to run and pack a bag. Once they were ready, I loaded them in the car, and we got the hell out of there.

The next afternoon, Jeremiah texted me and asked me to meet him at the house.

With my kids safe and sound, I agreed, and after some convincing, Q allowed me to leave alone and meet Jeremiah.