The Side Effects of You (18 page)

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“I'm sure,” I said.

The officer handed me a pen, and I signed a restraining order against Ana. My child, my offspring, my firstborn, one of my babies. My hands trembled, but I signed my name on the line.

“This goes into effect immediately.”

“I understand,” I told the officer.

Jayden squeezed my thigh in a show of support.

“I . . . I just want to make sure my daughter is safe. Like at school. What if Ana goes to her school?” I asked in a panic.

“This restraining order means she can't get within a hundred feet of you or Angelica at school, at home, in a restaurant, at the local grocery store, or anywhere,” the officer explained.

I knew what the restraining order meant, but I also knew that a piece of paper didn't guarantee that she would not show up. I didn't want to be overprotective, but after finding out what had gone on, I was now keeping a careful watch on Angelica. I now stood outside and watched as Angelica walked across the parking lot to get to the hotel, just in case Ana was lurking there.

I was sure I'd kill Ana with my bare hands if I saw her. Putting her evil hands on Angelica had me in a rage, and I wanted to give her an old-school Puerto Rican ass whipping. I wanted to see her challenge me. I hated that I had allowed my baby girl to be hurt by her, and I was a minute away from riding the streets like a hood chick to find her.

“You ready?” Jayden asked.

“Yes. I want to make it back before Angelica gets out of school.”

“Okay.” He grabbed my hand, and we walked out. “They will find her, Josie. I know you want to put an ass whipping on her, but it won't help.”

“It may not help, but I'd feel a hell of a lot better. She hurt my baby. Angelica is a special kid. She'd never hurt anything or anyone. She is sensitive, and she is loving. I can't believe that Ana would do her harm. The bruises, Jayden, were horrific. And I wasn't there to protect her. Do you know how bad I feel? I never thought in a million years that Ana would hurt her little sister. Every time I think of the abuse my baby endured, I just want to explode.”

Angelica was soft-spoken, funny, smart, and so loving. I imagined my baby being defenseless against her evil sister. The bruises on her stomach and back were horrible, and I was so mad at myself.

“Josie, it's not your fault. No matter how much thought and anger you put into this, it won't change the facts. We just have to find Ana and let the courts decide.”

“Fuck the courts, Jayden. The courts don't feel like I feel. The courts have no idea the impact she's had on Angelica. My baby didn't have to suffer like that, and I'm so furious that I want to find her and ... and ... and ...,” I cried.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me when we reached the car. I was so angry.

“Come on, babe. Let's go and get Angelica from school,” he urged.

“Okay.” I sniffled as I got in the car.

We drove straight to the school and parked. It was ten minutes before the bell, so I texted Angelica and told her we were out front in Jayden's SUV, waiting for her.

“So, do you want to go to my place or hang at the hotel?” Jayden asked while we waited.

“Your place. I've been cleaning little by little. My housekeepers have been a big help, but the place is not back to normal yet.”

“Okay. How about we cook something special for Angelica?”

“That's a great idea. What did you have in mind?”

“I don't know. Why don't we let Angelica decide?”

“That's fine. Thank you, Jayden.”

“For?”

“Being great. I mean, you are a great man, and I'm lucky to have you.”

“Well, I love you, and I want to see you happy.”

“You what?” I asked, surprised.

“Huh?”

“You said you love me.” I smiled at him.

He looked at me and smiled back. “I love you,” he repeated.

“I love you too.”

He leaned in, and we kissed. I was happy with him and my baby, but I was sad about my eldest.

“There she is.” I pointed.

Jayden blew the horn, and I let down the window and waved. Angelica looked our way and headed over.

“Hey, Mom. Hey, Mr. Jayden,” Angelica said as she got in the SUV.

“Hey, baby. How was school?” I said.

“Good.”

“What's going on, Princess Angelica? We were just talking about making you a special dinner tonight, but we need to know what you want.” Jayden put the truck in gear.

“Wow. For me?”

“Yes, for you,” I said. “Seat belt, baby.”

“I don't know. I mean, I like lots of things.”

“Well, can you narrow it down to one thing?” Jayden asked.

“Um . . . Beggars Pizza. Mom used to take us all the time.”

“We wanted to cook, Angelica,” I reminded her.

“I know, but I can't think of a special dish. But I'd love some Beggars Pizza.”

“Beggars, it is,” Jayden declared. He was too easy. Angelica had him wrapped around her finger.

We went and stuffed ourselves and then ended up going back to the hotel instead of to Jayden's place. We settled on a movie, and I rested on Jayden while Angelica rested on me. Halfway through the movie, we were interrupted by a loud bang.

Someone had thrown a brick through my kitchen window. Jayden rushed to another window to see if he could catch a glimpse of whoever had done this, but all he saw was a dark car speeding off.

“Stay here,” he ordered.

I nodded as I held Angelica. She was shaking like a leaf.

Jayden ran out of the apartment.

“It's Ana, Mom, I know it's her. She is going to kill us. She said if I told, she'd kill you,” Angelica cried.

“Listen to me. Ana isn't going to hurt us, okay? Don't worry. I'm going to protect you. Do you understand?”

“But, Mom, I'm so scared. She texted me and said she is coming back for us.”

“She did what? Where is your phone? Let me see.”

She dug in her pocket, pulled out her phone, and showed me her text messages. There were several threatening messages from Ana. When Jayden came back in, I showed him Ana's texts.

“Call the cops. You two are coming home with me tonight. Until they can catch her, you two are going to stay at my place. Angelica, go and pack some clothes, sweetheart.”

She ran to her room.

When she was gone, he continued. “Baby, they vandalized your car. Your tires are flat, and there is a brick on the front seat. They spray painted foul words on the car, so we are going straight to my truck. Angelica doesn't need to see that. She's scared enough.”

“I'm so sorry, Jayden,” I cried. “I have you in the middle of my drama.”

He held me. “Shhh, baby. Don't cry. I'm not going anywhere. I don't scare that easily. I'm going to be by your side and protect you and Angelica. Now, dial the police so we can do a report, and then pack a bag.”

“I need to clean this mess,” I cried.

“No, Josie. Leave it, baby. The police need to see this.”

He pulled out his phone. “I have a friend, well, a few friends, on the force. I'm going to help you find her. She isn't that smart or powerful.”

“Thank you,” I said and dialed the police.

They were there within ten minutes. Jayden took them out to my car, while I stayed inside with Angelica.

“Mom, she knows where Jayden lives too.”

“Yes, she does, but Jayden lives in a secure building, Angelica. You have to know the code to get through the gate, and there is twenty-four-hour security at the desk, remember?”

“So we'll be safe there, right?” Her hands were still shaking, and I could see the fear in her eyes.

“We will, baby. Don't worry.”

Finally, the police came back in, and I signed the report. They reminded me that there was a warrant out for Ana's arrest, and said that as soon as they had her in custody, they'd notify me.

Jayden and I cut up a box to cover the broken window, and I called the security company the hotel used and told them we needed round-the-clock service. I knew it would cost the hotel, but I wanted my front desk agent to feel safe. Jayden loaded our things in his SUV, and we sat out front with my clerk until the security guard arrived. He normally started at ten, but he came in an hour early.

“Thanks so much, Mike, for coming in early,” I said.

“No problem, Ms. Josie. I need the overtime, anyway.”

“Okay. You guys, dial nine-one-one if she shows up. And, Mike, do whatever it takes if she comes here,” I instructed.

“Don't worry, Ms. Josie. Tonight is not the night to get crazy with me.” He smiled, clutching his Taser and nightstick. Mike was a cop but did security on the side, like most of the guys who worked there.

“Thanks again, Mike,” I said.

Jayden, Angelica, and I climbed in the SUV, and we headed to Jayden's. Once we got there, I could see that Angelica was more relaxed. She showered, and we made her a pallet to sleep on in Jayden's office.

“Tomorrow I'll go and get her a twin bed, and we'll put it in there,” Jayden told me after we said good night to Angelica and closed the office door.

“Jayden, you don't have to do that. She's fine.”

“I do, and you guys are not going back until Ana is arrested and in custody. It will be a stretch in terms of your commute, with that bit of distance between here and the hotel, but drastic times call for drastic measures.”

“I know.” He came over to the sofa, from the kitchen and handed me a glass of wine. “I just keep wondering where I went wrong with Ana.”

“Don't blame yourself. People are who they are, regardless of the upbringing or status. Good guys turn bad, and bad guys turn good. It's all up to chance. You did nothing wrong,” he assured me.

I believed him, but at the same time, I still blamed myself. I felt that there might have been something that I could have done differently. I loved Ana, and I had spoiled her just as much as I spoiled Angelica. Until she turned fifteen, we'd been close. But then her dad had got locked up for the second time, and she had just started to rebel. She'd started cutting class, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and talking to me like I wasn't in charge. She'd stayed out late, past her curfew, and many times the cops had shown up at the hotel, bringing her home. She'd kept promising that she'd change, and then maybe she'd stay out of trouble for a week or two, but only because she wanted new clothes, money for an outing, or the latest gadget that all her friends had.

I had run out of patience long ago, but what could I do? You couldn't throw your child out into the streets. Then the state would be on you, all in your business. I had left the state behind, however, when I got a promotion and a free place to live. I had gladly got off assistance, and I was grateful I was able to afford a better life for my family.

Now my daughter was following in her father's footsteps and was on her way to prison. I hated how things had turned out, but she deserved to be put away after what she did to her sister. The terror in Angelica's eyes, her fear that her sister was going to kill us, hurt me to my soul. I didn't want the judge to go easy on Ana. I wanted her to get the max.

I had been at Quentin's for two days, and I missed my kids. I talked to them on the phone, and they had a million questions. Jeremiah had labeled me the bad guy, and they thought I had run off with another man, leaving them behind. I had no idea he was having me followed, and he had some nerve, when he had church members whispering about him and his so-called secret life. Hell, I knew he was two-timing me with Franklin, and yet he had humiliated me publicly and had put me out of my home. It was just too much. I wanted to be as low down as he was, but I had my kids to consider. Fighting fire with fire would hurt them more than it would Jeremiah. I didn't want to go to the media with his affair. I didn't have it in me.

“That's not true, J.J. Mommy would never leave you. I love you too much,” I told my son as I spoke to him on the phone now.

“But Dad says you found a new husband and you don't want our family anymore,” my baby cried.

“Listen, Mommy is going to come and see you guys today, okay? Don't listen to Daddy. He is not telling you the truth, son, and you are too young to understand what's going on. But Mommy will be by today, okay? And we will talk.”

“Okay. Do you still love us?”

“Of course I do.”

“Do you still love my daddy?”

I paused, let out a deep breath, and lied to my son. “Yes, I love your daddy. Now, I have to go. I have a client in my chair, son, and the sooner I'm done working, the sooner I can come.”

“Okay,” he said. For some, reason kids sounded so damn sweet over the phone, even though you knew they were little snots sometimes.

I finished up and called Quentin to let him know where I was going.

“No, you're not going alone. I'm going with you,” he insisted.

“No, Q. My kids are there, and I don't want a scene in front of them.”

“Well, I'll wait in the car.”

“Q, baby, he's not going to try anything in front of the kids.”

“Are you sure, Drea? He seems like a loose cannon. I promise you I will go to jail if he puts his hands on you again.”

“He won't. Don't worry.”

He sighed. “Okay. You call me as soon as you're on your way home.”

“I will. I don't plan to stay long. I just want to talk to my kids and kiss their faces. Hopefully, Jeremiah won't even be there.”

“Okay. Be careful, and I'll see you later.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

We got off the phone, and I headed to the house. The kids were so excited to see me. Kelly was trying to cook, but I took over. Once dinner was ready, we sat down at the kitchen table, and while they ate, I told them the truth.

“Listen, your dad and I are not going to be together anymore.”

“Why?” Lena asked.

“Because we just don't get along anymore,” I answered.

“Plus, you have a boyfriend, and you've been creeping around on my daddy.” Kelly rolled her eyes.

“Kelly, you have no idea, little girl, so close your mouth and listen,” I scolded. If she were my biological kid, I would have slapped her across the mouth. “I do have a man in my life who loves me, guys, and I did a bad thing. I started hanging out with him and spending time with him in secret, and I was wrong for that, so your dad is going to divorce me.”

“Can he give you one more chance to be good?” J.J. asked.

I smiled at him. “No, baby. It's not that simple. And I have to deal with the consequences of what I did wrong. The Bible tells us not to commit adultery, but I did it, anyway, and the consequence is divorce. It's no one's fault but mine, and I'm sorry I let you guys down. I love you so much, and once the divorce is final, you guys will visit me sometimes and then visit Daddy sometimes.”

“But I don't want you to go. I want you to stay right here with us. You can sleep in my room. I'll ask Daddy to forgive you and take you back. I know he will,” Lena cried. It was breaking my heart to see my kids cry.

“I'm sorry, baby, but he won't. We have to go our separate ways,” I said.

Kelly just sat there with her arms folded. Her eyes welled up, but she didn't say anything.

“Come on now, guys. Finish your dinner, because I have to go soon,” I coaxed.

They all played around with their food. J.J. wanted me to stay and started crying his eyes out. I finally took him upstairs, calmed him down, and lay with him in his bed until he was asleep. Then I went in and kissed Lena good night. I was glad she let me leave without a lot of tears.

I went downstairs and let Kelly know I was leaving and she was standing in the living room next to the sectional. “Hey, Kel. I'm going to go now.”

She turned to me. “Mama Ann,” she called out.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“I'm sorry you have to leave. I know that Daddy was mean to you, and I also know he stayed in the guest room and not in your bedroom. I've heard you two argue, and I know. I know.” She put her head down and began to cry.

I rushed over to her. “What, Kel? Baby, what is it?”

“I know he beats you up.”

I wrapped my arms around her.

“Everybody thinks my dad is such a good man, and I know he can be good, but I'm old enough to know that this isn't how a marriage should be. I heard him call you names and call you a fat ass behind your back. I've overheard him being mean to you, so I understand why you would want another man, because I wouldn't like a boy that acts like my daddy.”

I held her tight. “I'm sorry you had witness all these things. I had no idea you were paying attention.”

“Lena and J.J. are just little brats. They don't know nothing, but I know more than you think.”

“Well, what else do you know?”

“I can't say.”

“Why?” I asked. This little girl was nosy.

“If I show you, will you promise me you won't tell Dad?”

“I promise.”

“No, you have to
promise
, because I know he'd be super mad.”

“I promise I won't tell him.”

“Come with me.”

I followed her down to his bedroom on the lower level. She looked out the window in the hallway to make sure Jeremiah wasn't outside.

“Hurry. This way,” she said as she entered his room.

I followed her into the room.

She walked over to his dresser. “I found these one Sunday, when Daddy sent me in here to look for some cuff links before we went to church.” She opened his middle drawer and moved some of his T-shirts to the side. He had dirty magazines hidden there. The kicker was that they were filled with naked men, not women.

“When did you find these?”

“About four months ago. And I know that Daddy might like men, because I don't think a man looks at naked men. That's not normal, right?”

“Right.” I straightened his things and shut the drawer. “Who else have you told?”

“No one.”

“Come on. Let's get out of here before your dad comes home.” We hurried out of the room and headed upstairs. I couldn't believe that she knew.

“You can't tell anyone, Kel, you understand? Your dad is a respected minister at a mega church,” I told her as we sat down on the sofa in the family room.

“I know, but that is all the more reason that people should know. He tells us every day about lying and being honest, and he scolds us, telling us that God sees all things and that He will throw us in the lake of fire for being bad. And he is bad, Mama Ann.”

“I know, Kelly, but he is still your father. Do you love your father?”

“Yes, but I hate that he is . . . you know. And that he is a liar.” Big, glossy tears welled up in her eyes, and she sniffled.

“God sees him too, and all things will be revealed soon, so you don't have to worry about anything. This news won't come from you, Kelly. Your dad will be found out soon enough.”

Just then, Jeremiah walked in and saw us sitting there. “What did you say to my daughter?” he yelled when he saw her tears. “Kelly, don't listen to her, sweetheart.”

“Dad, we were talking about this stupid boy at my school.”

“What? Did he try something? What's his name? What did he do?” Jeremiah quizzed.

“He's just a jerk, okay? And I want to talk to Mama Ann, please. You wouldn't understand,” she protested.

“I'm sorry, Kel. I can take a hint. I'll let you two do your girl talk thingy.” He headed toward his room but stopped. “And you will be leaving afterward, right?” he asked, looking at me.

“Trust, as soon as we are done,” I said coldly.

He proceeded to his room, and after she heard him close his door, Kelly gave me a hug. “I'm going to miss you, Mama Ann. I'm sorry things didn't work out with you and Daddy.”

“Well, you can come visit me on my days with your sister and brother too.”

“Are you sure your new guy won't mind?”

“Of course not. He knows I have three kids.” I winked at her.

“Oh, before I forget, my friend Myah is having her sweet sixteen in two weeks, so I'm going to need a dress and to have my hair done nice and pretty. I know you said I had to wait until I was sixteen, but all the other girls are going to be wearing makeup, so can I just this once?” she asked all in one breath.

“Just this once. Text me tomorrow so I can remember to put you on my books. And we can't dress shop until after school on Monday, because you know Saturday is my busiest day.”

“I know.” She smiled and walked me to the door.

“Take care of them for me. You know your dad stays busy with the church.”

“I know. I got this.”

I gave her a hug and a kiss. “Be good.”

“I will,” she said.

I hurried to my car, headed for home, and called Quentin as soon as I got in.

“No way. He doesn't have dirty magazines in your house,” he said after I told him about what Kelly had shown me.

“He does, and Kelly knows.”

“Wow. How is she taking it?”

“Well, I guess okay. She's known for a little while now.”

“Well, soon everyone will know.”

“I know, Quentin, but I'm having second thoughts about outing him. This is going to affect our children. I don't know if me going public with this is a good thing.”

“He doesn't have trouble telling the world that you're an adulterer. He is broadcasting that like you're a harlot, when his own shit stinks.”

“I know, Q, but playing dirty is Jeremiah's style, not mine, and I don't want to do that to my kids.”

“So you're just going to take the blame for your failed marriage and walk away the pathetic loser, which is what he wants everybody to think you are?”

“No, I'll walk away with you, my kids, and my self-respect. My affair with you was wrong. I mean it
is
wrong. I'm woman enough to say, ‘Yes, I had an affair' and ‘Yes, I'm in love with another man.' They can think whatever they want to think about me, Q, as long as you love me and my babies love me. That's all I want. Jeremiah is no longer a thorn in my side. I have a great career and business. I have a few dollars stacked in the bank, and my new man has me living in a huge five-bedroom home, which I'm loving more each day. I'm happier now than I've been in a long time. So I win. Being done with him makes me a winner.”

“With that said, I'm proud of you, baby. Whatever you decide, I got your back.”

“Thanks, Q. It's only a matter of time before the divorce is final and we are free to get married, have babies, and live like we should have been living from day one.”

“Did you say, ‘Have babies'?”

“Yes, I did.”

“If you were here, I'd kiss your lips. That is music to my ears, Drea. I'm so happy to hear you say that.”

“We deserve it all, and if you want to be a dad, I want to help you out on that.”

“Hurry home, baby.”

“I'm on my way.”