The Secret of Life Wellness: The Essential Guide to Life's Big Questions (44 page)

II, where she lost her mother and seven siblings, I was not surprised that

her blood was deeply affected. In fact, I had met many people who had

been afflicted with this disease after surviving the war. In a way, I was

almost surprised that my grandmother didn’t get cancer until she was in

her eighties.

Since she was a fighter, most people in my family were in shock when

they heard the news of her illness. There was a lot of talk about her beating

this, getting better, and living longer. It was really hard to accept that she

was dying, as she looked so strong and energetic, and had an insatiable

thirst for life.

After my initial anger with the doctor for telling us that she had only a

few months to live, I decided to take his prediction as a gift. I saw it as an

opportunity to spend quality time with my grandmother. I felt that I had a

chance to help her and others in the family heal.

I encouraged my grandmother to focus on her own healing and appre-

ciation of life. My intention was to help her transcend the suffering she had

experienced and find peace.

In her last month of life, my grandmother was the most positive, open,

and receptive that I had ever known her to be. She had let go of her resist-

ance, anxiety, and concerns, and listened to me with an open heart and

mind. I taught her exercises for pain relief, emotional release, changing neg-

ative thinking, and healing the past. She was also open to talking about

angels and was willing to connect to her deceased parents.

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I saw her almost daily in those last months and we shared many special

moments. When I asked if there was anything she regretted or wished she had

done differently, she looked at me in an intense way and decidedly said, “No.”

Two nights before my grandmother died, I tuned in and saw that her

soul was half out of her body.

That night, we were still able to speak with her and make her laugh.

What fascinated me was that when she spoke, I saw her mother’s spirit

standing behind her on her left and her father’s spirit on her right. I knew

that they were there to support her on her journey to the other side. This

made me feel comforted.

The following day, my grandmother was taken to the hospital, as she

had developed pneumonia. Within a few hours, she was unconscious. When

my cousin, mother, husband, and I were driving toward the hospital, I saw

my grandmother’s soul. She shared how much she loved and appreciated

each of us and asked us to look after my grandfather.

When we got to the hospital, I talked to my grandmother about letting

go as she moved in and out of consciousness. She could no longer physi-

cally talk to me, but I knew she was listening. At one point, I saw her

parents with several of her siblings standing near her bed.

Her soul seemed calm, and she told me that she felt lighter. However,

her body was still fighting. During the night, my cousin Jenny asked how

my grandmother’s soul managed to go in and out of her body. Just then, I

saw a cord that was still attaching her soul to her body. This fascinated me,

as I hadn’t realized that her soul could not disconnect from her body until

the body died and the cord was dissolved. It seemed fitting: when we come

into this life, we have a cord attached to our mother that has to be cut, and

when we leave our bodies, we have a cord that is attached to our bodies

that we have to let go of.

I saw my grandmother’s soul get confused when she realized she could

not come back into her body as her body was dying and she could not go

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to the spirit world as the cord still connected her to her body. I explained

that it was OK, that she was moving on, but it was going to take a bit

of time.

The next morning, her breathing became more and more labored. I could

no longer stay in the room and asked Jenny to come downstairs with me.

We were waiting for my brother when I saw my grandmother’s soul. I asked

her if she was waiting for my grandfather. She nodded but seemed a bit

unsure. I told her that we would look after him and that it was time for her to

go. She was silent for a moment, then turned to me and said, “OK, Inochka

[a sweet way of saying my name in Russian]. I’ll go then.”

I knew then that it was time to go upstairs to her room. We raced there

and saw a nurse standing next to her bed. She told us that we were just in

time to see our grandmother take her last breaths. We watched, sending

her enormous love and telling her we loved her over and over. It was a sad

but liberating experience.

Taking a Divine Perspective

After my grandmother died, I heard someone say, “There is no loss in reality.” This was

another way of relating to death—as a return home. From the Divine perspective, there

is never any loss; there is just a movement, a takeoff from one dimension to another.

I also realized that although my grandmother was physically absent, if I was open

and receptive, I found many of her loving qualities in other people.

Since her death, I have met several people who have given me deep love and sup-

port. Although they do not replace my grandmother, each time someone is loving,

caring, and courageous, I am reminded of my grandmother and feel deeply grateful.

When a person you are close to is dying, it can give you an opportunity to open

your heart and unlock your emotions in a way that you have never allowed. It is a

chance to go deeper and express your appreciation for the person who is transitioning,

feel the fullness of your love, and grow spiritually. It is a time to slow down, reflect, go

within, and explore.

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When we are confronted with death, there are many questions that come up about

our own mortality and how we live our lives. It is a chance to discover what is really

important.

A Gift to the Dying

When someone close to you is dying, the biggest gift you can give is your time, love,

and compassion. They need to feel significant and have the chance to acknowledge

their life and contribution. Go and see them and talk to them. If they are in a coma,

have Alzheimer’s, or have another condition that prevents them from speaking with

you, communicate with them anyway. They can hear you, even if they cannot answer or

respond as they usually would.

Educating people about the soul and the spirit world can also significantly lessen

their fear of dying.

Processes for Handling Death

Below are three processes that can assist you to support someone who is dying and

work on your own fear and loss. I also recommend that you work with the emotional

release process on page XX My previous book,
The Secret Language of Your Body
, also

has a lot of processes that can help you to deal with various emotions and even forgive a

person who has died.

Pray

When you are near a loved one who is dying, take time to say a loving prayer, if you can,

place your hands on the person’s heart with the intention of sending them love, care,

and support. Say something like, “Angels, Guides, and Divine helpers please surround

__________ (say the name of the person), with love, care, and light. Please assist

__________ (say the name of the person) to transition in the softest, easiest, most

comfortable way possible. Take them to the light with ease and grace at the most

appropriate moment. Thank you.”

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The intention here is to make the dying person feel comfortable and at peace. If

several family members are gathered when someone is dying or in a coma, then share

your most memorable moments about the person who is transitioning. If you need to

forgive them or be forgiven, then this is the best time to do so.

Work with the section on emotional healing in this book to release all the grief and

painful feelings that come up.

Shock Release

If you are in a state of deep fear, shock, or trauma, do the following process. This mudra

helps the nervous system relax and the immune system stabilize.

Encircle your left ring finger with the four fingers of your right hand. Extend the

right thumb into the middle of your hand, putting substantial amount of pressure.

Say: “I now give myself permission to release all fear and shock from my body and

cellular memories, to unwind, calm down, and relax. I am loved and supported. From

this moment, things are improving, getting better and lighter.”

Repeat the word “CLEAR” several times until you feel lighter.

Hold the position for five to ten minutes then swap hands. Focus on breathing

deeply and relaxing. Visualize green light moving through your nervous system and

releasing any shock.

Work with Fear

The death of a loved one can bring up a lot of fear and uncertainty. Below is a simple

exercise that can be helpful to let go of fear.

Write down what you are afraid of. Number your fears, from the worst thing that

could happen to some small fears. Do this slowly. Give yourself a moment; sit and feel

each fear intensely. What is it that you don’t want to experience?

Place your hands on the part of your body where you feel the most fear. Take some

slow, deep breaths. Become aware of any uncomfortable sensations.

Say to yourself or aloud: “I am willing to let this fear go.”

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Imagine being able to take this sensation of fear out of your body and into the

palms of your hands. Imagine that the fear becomes a bird. Surrender it to a higher

source. Visualize this bird flying away.

Say a Healing Statement

Say: “Divine Wisdom, please give me the understanding of how this situation, which

really challenges me, can also help me grow, evolve, and move forward in life. Please

give me the loving guidance I require to surrender my fear of loss and allow me to rec-

ognize the balance of life and the Divine support I have in the face of death. Help me

come to terms with my loss and see it as a transformation. Bring me the people who

will understand me, have compassion and help me heal. Please show me the blessings

of this experience and give me hope. Thank you.”

Repeat the word “SURRENDER” several times until you feel lighter

I ask you to use the word
surrender
instead of
clear
because, when the situation is

challenging and beyond our understanding, the only thing we can do is surrender it to a

higher source.

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Conclusion

Ihope that
The Secret of Life Wellness
has expanded your awareness with regards to

some of life’s most interesting and challenging subjects. Throughout these pages I

have shared many stories from my own, my clients, and friends experiences. I hope that

these accounts have given you a lot of insights into your life and have motivated you to

make new and empowering choices.

While reading a book can inspire you, nothing beats practicing the processes

described. If you turn to page [XX], you will find a section titled “An Ongoing

Practice,” I encourage you to re-read it and follow the suggestions, or create your own

daily practice. Your life will only improve if you take positive action. Although many of

the subjects I have explored are quite serious, laughter, and joy are vital parts of life.

Thus, when you are creating your wellness plan, make sure that it has plenty of variety,

creativity, and fun!

If you have found this book useful, I encourage you to share it with the people you

know. Even if your family or friends have different points of view, it can make for a

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