The Revelation (16 page)

“Aw, babe, ssh,” Josh coos, cradling me in his
strong arms and kissing my tears. “This is great news—nothing to
cry about.”

But my body won’t stop wracking with sobs. I squeeze
Josh tighter and press myself into his broad chest with all my
might.

Josh chuckles and squeezes back, kissing every inch
of my salty, wet, snotty face, and whispers in my ear. “We did it,
babe. It’s over now.” He puts his lips right against my ear. “Well,
this settles it once and for all: you’ve definitely got a
vagina.”

I burst out laughing through my sobs, and he laughs
with me, holding me close.

After a moment, I feel a tap on my shoulder, and
when I pull my nose out of Josh’s neck, Henn’s holding up the phone
to me. “Sarah wants to talk to you for sec.”

I wipe my eyes and take the phone from Henn.

“Hi, babycakes,” I say. “Congratulations.”

“Kitty Kat!” Sarah shrieks. “
You’re a
mill-i-on-aire
!”

I laugh and wipe my eyes again. “So I’ve heard,” I
squeak out, my voice cracking. “I can’t believe it.”

“Aw, Kat,” Sarah says, her voice breaking along with
mine. “You were so brave today.”

“Oh my God, Sarah, no, I wasn’t brave at all,” I
reply. “I was totally crapping my pants the whole time.”

Sarah laughs. “I can’t wait to hear all about
it.”

“I can’t wait to hear about D.C.,” I reply.

“Ha! Talk about pants-crapping. Jeez. I was in the
room with all those men in suits and I was so nervous, I kept
imagining myself hopping on the table and tap dancing like a frog
in a top hat.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Exactly. The whole meeting, I was like, ‘fleffer
fleegan geebah doobah.’”

I laugh.

“But Jonas was masterful.” She sighs. “Oh, Kat. He’s
incredible.”

“Things going well with you two?” I ask.

“Amazing-incredible-never-been-happier-best-case-scenario. Gah! I’m
so in love, it hurts.”

I giggle.

“We’re gonna need to do a good-old-fashioned
sleepover when I get back so I can tell you all about it.”

“Coolio. I’ll bring the champagne,” I say.

“Hell yeah, you will,” Sarah says. “Seeing as how
you’re now a fancy
mill-i-on-aire
.”

“Hey, aren’t you a fancy
mill-i-on-aire,
too?” I ask.

Sarah giggles. “Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I
am.” She squeals. “I keep forgetting about that.”

I roll my eyes to myself.

“Okay, I’ll bring the champagne,” Sarah says. “You
bring the chocolate.
If
you can peel yourself away from Josh
for a night, that is,” she says coyly. “Have you two gone off like
a nuclear bomb yet?”

“Um, yeah, pretty much,” I say, my eyes drifting to
Josh’s face. He’s watching me intently, his blue eyes
sparkling.

“The good kind of nuclear bomb, I hope?” she
asks.

“Is there a bad kind?”

“Uh. Yeah. There is.”

“Well, it’s the good kind, then. The very, very good
kind.” I sigh. “Oh, Sarah.”

“Oh, Kat.”

“So when are you coming home?”

“A couple days. We’re gonna swing by New York first
to visit—oh hang on.” She says something obviously not intended for
me. “Okay, my sweet love, hang the fuck on. Yes, I know.
Patience
, hunkster.” Now she’s back to me on the phone.
“Jonas wants to talk to Josh again. He’s a wee bit amped right
now,” she whispers. “He’s kinda bouncing off the walls. God, he’s
so cute.”

I laugh. “Okay. But—” My voice breaks with emotion
again. “I love you, Sarah. Please just know I love you so much. I’m
so frickin’ relieved you’re healthy and safe.”

Sarah’s voice instantly floods with emotion. “I love
you, too, Kitty Kat. And I’m
so
frickin’ relieved, too.”

I hold out the phone to Josh, wiping my eyes, and he
grabs it from me.

“Yo.” Josh listens for a beat. “
Tonight
?” He
suddenly looks stricken. “Dude,
no way
.” Josh looks at me
pointedly as he listens again. “Because I have something
extremely
important to do here in Vegas tonight, that’s
why.” He rubs his face. “Jesus Fucking Christ.” He exhales.
“
Fine
. But I’ll come tomorrow night, not tonight... .
Because I can’t, that’s why, motherfucker... . Because I’ve got
something I need to do here in Vegas tonight...
.
So what?
You head out to see him tonight and I’ll come tomorrow—no big deal.
Because I’ve got something to do, Jonas. Chill the fuck
out
.” He listens and then grins broadly. “It’s none of your
business what it is.” He laughs. “Well, I’m not saying yes or no,
but if it were that, then I think you’d agree that’s something
extremely
important.” Josh looks at me lasciviously, like a
wolf scoping out a bunny. “Oh, bro, you have no idea.”

My clit begins faintly buzzing.

Josh laughs. “It’ll be fine, Jonas, trust me. When
you’re telling Uncle William the news, just hold up a photo of a
trout and he won’t even notice what you’re saying.” He belly
laughs. “Okay. Bye. You, too. Oh, hey, Jonas?” He pauses. “I’m
proud of you, man. Remember the text I sent the other day? Pretend
I just sent you another one just like that.” He snickers. “Sorry. I
know. Fuck me.” He slaps his cheek hard, making me jump back with
surprise. “Yeah, I did it, cocksucker.” He laughs. “Okay. See you
tomorrow, bro.”

Josh hangs up and looks at me mournfully. “Well,
Party Girl, I’ve got some bad news. I gotta hop a flight to New
York tomorrow morning, first thing.”

“Oh,” I say, the wind completely knocked out of my
sails. I was really looking forward to spending a few days (and
nights) alone with Josh in Vegas, just the two of us living out our
sick-fuck fantasies together before being forced to leave this
bizarre bubble and return to real life (and our separate cities). I
don’t know if this thing with Josh (whatever it is) is going to
carry over into the real world or not—and if not, I don’t feel
ready to find that out. “Why do you have to go to New York?” I ask,
trying to keep my voice from sounding too hurt.

“Jonas and I have to talk to our uncle about
something important,” Josh continues, “and Jonas insists we do it
as soon as humanly possible.” He twists his mouth. “And,
unfortunately, Jonas is one hundred percent right about that. It’s
not something that should wait.”

“I’ll be heading off tomorrow, too,” Henn says.
“Jonas said the feds want me to meet with them in D.C. to help them
sort through the database. But, hey, that still leaves us tonight
to celebrate, right guys? It’s not every day a guy (or girl) saves
the world, huh? And especially not with his best friends.”

Josh and I exchange a look. What have we been
thinking? We went on and on about launching into our sick-fuck
fantasy fulfillment the minute our mission was complete—but,
clearly, that’s a nonstarter. There’s no way in hell either of us
would ever let our beloved Henny celebrate this incredible victory
all by his little, brilliant, quirky self. I make a face at Josh
and he smiles wistfully, obviously resigned to our sudden change of
plans for tonight.

“
Of course
, we’re gonna celebrate, Henny,” I
say.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Josh says,
fist-bumping him. “And we’re gonna do it in style, my man. Leave it
all to me—I’m gonna make sure we have the night of our fucking
lives.”

Henn flashes Josh a look of appreciation and
excitement that’s so freaking adorable, I want to throw a little
rhinestone vest on him and toss him into my brand new Gucci
purse.

“Hey, I’ve got a brilliant idea,” I say. “How ’bout
we fly Hannah Banana Montana Millikin into Vegas on the next flight
to celebrate with us?” I look at my watch. “There’s still plenty of
time to get her here in time for dinner, isn’t there?”

Josh looks at his watch. “There sure is. Great idea.
I suddenly feel like we need some additional staffing on that PR
campaign.” He winks.

“What do you think, Henny?” I ask. “You up for
letting Hannah Banana Montana Millikin crash our party?”

Henn grins. “Awesome.” He raises one eyebrow. “As
long as you tell her to wear her glasses.”

“I’ll tell her,” I say.

“You know,” Josh begins, his wheels obviously
turning. “As long as Hannah Banana Montana Milliken is gonna come
all the way out here, it’d be a crying shame to send her back home
tomorrow. How ’bout you two girls hang out for a few days and have
some fun? We’ve still got Jonas and Sarah’s penthouse suite—I
forgot to check out of it like Jonas asked me to.” He makes a face
that says,
Yeah, I’m a fuck-up.
“When Henn and I leave, you
and Hannah can stay a couple days in the penthouse like a couple of
mill-i-on-aires
. Have yourselves a mini-vacay, on me.”

“Really?” I squeal.

“Sure. Book spa appointments, go shopping, see
Thunder from Down Under
or whatever.” He laughs. “Order
drinks by the pool, dine like queens, get pedicures and massages,
do whatever the hell you girls wanna do for however long and I’ll
pick up the tab. Go crazy, all of it completely on me.”

I’m trying to contain myself, but a strange noise
erupts from my throat.

Josh laughs. “You’ve earned it, babe—you kicked ass
today. We
literally
couldn’t have done it without you. And
there’s no rush going back to Seattle, right?—you’re still on my
dime for the PR campaign for another couple weeks.”

I’m giddy; I’m not gonna lie. But this seems too
much to accept, even for me. “It’s too generous,” I say. “I’d love
to hang out with Hannah for a few days, but I can certainly foot
the bill myself, you know. If you haven’t heard by now, I’m gonna
be a
mill-i-on-aire
.”

Josh swats at the air. “Fuck no. You can’t piss away
your finder’s fee money on debauchery—you’re gonna need every dime
for Party Girl PR, remember?” He winks. “If anyone’s gonna piss
away their money on debauchery, it’s gonna be me. It’s kinda my
specialty.”

I throw my arms around Josh’s neck again, and for a
second, I’m in serious danger of bawling again. “Thank you, Josh,”
I breathe.

Josh kisses my cheek and squeezes me tight. “I’ll be
counting the days ’til I see you again,” he says softly into my
ear, his voice low and sexy. “I can’t wait to get started on what
we talked about.”

“I can’t wait, either,” I say into his neck,
inhaling his cologne.

We break apart from our clinch and I move on to
Henn, wrapping him in a tight hug. “This is gonna be the best night
ever in the history of the world, Henny. You’re gonna absolutely
adore Hannah.”

“Hey, when it comes to celebrating victory over the
Evil Empire, the more the merrier, I always say.”

“Well, duh,” I say. “Isn’t that what everyone always
says after a long day of saving the world? ‘The more the
merrier.’”

“It’s what they always say,” Henn agrees.

“Tell Hannah I’ll book the three o’clock flight for
her on Alaska,” Josh says, looking at something on his phone.

“Okay, I’ll call her now. Thank you so much, Josh.
She’s gonna be thrilled.”

Josh pulls me into him and kisses me gently. “It’s
my pleasure, Kat.” He pushes himself into me and his erection juts
against my hip. He presses his lips into my ear. “Have fun with
your girlfriend—but make no mistake about it: the minute I get back
from New York, you’re all mine.”

Josh

“Excuse me, fellas,” Sarah says, scooting back from
the dining room table. “Gonna head to the ladies’ room.”

When she stands up from the table, Uncle William
stands, too, which prompts Jonas and me to do the same.

Sarah smiles shyly. “Wow, so chivalrous, fellas.
Golly gosh. Thank you.”

The minute Sarah’s left the dining room and the
three of us have settled back into our chairs, Uncle William leans
forward, his blue eyes fixed on Jonas. “You gonna marry this girl?”
he asks.

I’m utterly shocked by the question. I mean, I know
Uncle William is an old-fashioned kind of guy and all, and Sarah’s
obviously an incredible girl, and a perfect fit for Jonas, too, but
Jonas only just met her, for fuck’s sake. There’s no way in hell
Jonas is even
thinking
about taking a giant leap like
marriage
—

“Absolutely,” Jonas answers smoothly. “As soon as
humanly possible, in fact.”

Uncle William chuckles and leans back in his chair.
“Glad to hear it. Congratulations, son. Don’t let this one get
away. I loved her the minute I met her.”

Jonas nods. “Me, too.”

I’m in total shock right now. I knew Jonas was head
over heels in love with Sarah, but I had no idea he was ready to
marry
her.

“You’re sure, Jonas?” I ask.

“Never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“That’s awesome, bro,” I say, my heart racing. “Does
she know?”

“No,” Jonas says, suddenly looking anxious. “Am I
supposed to
ask
her if I can
ask
her?”

I laugh. “No, Jonas, you dumbshit,” I say. “That’s
not what I meant. I’m just saying if you’re gonna surprise the
girl, then make sure you blow her socks off. This is the story
she’s gonna be telling her grandkids one day. So don’t fuck it
up.”

Jonas nods, but I’ve clearly put the fear of God
into him.

I lean back in my chair, my mind reeling. I can’t
believe it. My brother’s gonna ask a girl to marry him. And not
just any girl. Sarah Fucking Cruz—a badass of epic proportions. A
girl who doesn’t take any of his shit. A girl with a heart of pure
gold.

All of a sudden, I feel an overwhelming surge of
relief flooding my body. Jonas is gonna have a
wife
. Holy
shit. Someone to love him forever—and someone for him to love in
return. He’ll finally have someone (besides me) to take care of
him, to listen to him, to rein him in when his thoughts start
spiraling out of control. And he’ll finally have someone besides me
to tell him he’s a beast every fucking day of his life.