“I want to lick you, Jonas,” she says, gyrating. “I want to bring you to your knees.” It always comes down to that, doesn’t it? She wants to conquer me as much as I want to conquer her.
“No,” I mumble, and keep going. I’m too turned on to stop what I’m doing. Oh, how I love breaking my little bucking bronco.
She squirms against me. “Yes,” she moans. She lets out a sound I’ve heard from her before. It means she’s getting close. And so am I. Oh yeah, I’m getting really turned on now. But she’s still battling me. Why, I don’t know. Doesn’t she know resisting me is futile?
I keep at her, doing all the things she loves best. Oh God, I love the taste of her, the sounds she makes. There’s no way I’m letting her take charge of me right now, no way I’m stopping what I’m doing, no fucking way.
She groans loudly. “I want to lick you, Jonas,” she groans out again.
I ignore her. I don’t know why her bossy bullshit always turns me on so much, but it does. I’m in a frenzy right now, reveling in her. Nothing can stop me now.
She moans again. “At the same time, baby,” she breathes.
My eyes spring open. What?
“At the same time,” she says again, shoving herself into me desperately.
Oh, well, that’s something else entirely.
I look up at her from between her legs. She’s lifts her head and smiles down at me, her eyelids at half-mast, her cheeks rosy. She’s got that bad girl look in her eyes I love so much.
“At the same time,” she repeats, trembling. She reaches down and grabs a fistful of my hair. “I want to lick you at the same time,” she whispers, yanking roughly on my hair. “I’ve never done that. I wanna try it. Show me.” She tugs at my hair again, really hard.
“Ow.”
“Come on.”
Here I thought I was going to make love to her, slowly, tenderly, whispering my devotion into her ear—and this angel of a woman wants to
sixty-nine
me? For the hundredth time since that first email from My Beautiful Intake Agent landed in my inbox, I’m in awe of her. She’s not like anybody else.
I crawl over her, my chest heaving, my hard-on straining. She’s spread-eagle underneath me. It’s taking all my restraint not to plunge into her right now.
She licks her lips and nods. “At the same time,” she says again, this time into my lips. “I wanna try it.”
I nod vigorously and kiss her mouth.
She laps at my tongue. “Show me how.” She guides me off her onto my back and grabs my shaft. She leans down like she’s going to suck me.
“No, no, baby, not like that,” I coo softly. My heart is racing. I’m so turned on I can barely contain myself.
She fondles me like she owns me. “How, then?” Her entire body has begun jerking and jolting, she’s so aroused.
“You trust me?” My voice is hoarse.
“Mmm hmm.” She continues touching me.
I remove her hands from me, gently. “I’m too close,” I say. “You can’t... ”
She smiles. She likes pushing me over the edge as much I like pushing her. We’re always at cross-purposes, she and I—too much alike, I suppose.
“You trust me?” I choke out again.
She nods.
“Say it.”
“Yes.” She shudders. “Yes, Jonas, completely. Come on.”
“Lie this way.” I point at the bed, indicating I want her to lie face up across the width of the bed.
She complies, writhing, trembling, ready to go off like a bottle rocket.
I pull her shoulders to the very edge of the bed, until her head is hanging off. And then I stand astride her face, one leg on either side of her head, gazing over the full length of her naked body.
I look straight down. Her face beams up at me from underneath my junk. I almost laugh out loud at the sight of her smiling underneath me. I can’t believe she just asked to do this with me. And
now
of all times, when the entire world is falling down around us and any other woman would want me to hold her and comfort her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
“Baby, listen to me.” I take a deep breath. “This turns me on—like, it drives me fucking crazy. So let me get going on you first for a bit, ‘til you’re just about to come, okay? Don’t start in on me ‘til you’re almost there, like right on the edge, or else I’m never gonna make it. I can barely get through this, even without you sucking me off, it’s just so fucking hot for me.”
She nods and smiles.
“Promise?” I ask.
She nods. “Yep.” But then she lifts her head and licks the entire length of me, from my balls all the way to my tip.
My knees buckle and I shudder.
“Okay, I’m ready now,” she says.
I shake violently. “Don’t do that again.” She obviously doesn’t understand how close I am and how much strength this is going to require.
She laughs again.
“Only when you’re on the absolute edge,” I repeat, my voice much firmer than it probably needs to be—but she needs to understand I absolutely cannot do this if she’s going to tease me or start in on me too early. I’m going to need all my strength to do this, physical and otherwise. “Promise me.” My voice is stern.
“Jeez,” she says. “Okay, I promise, Lord-God-Master.”
I exhale and reach down, and then I cradle my arms around her back and pull her entire torso up and up and up, ‘til her belly is flush against my chest and her sweet pussy is right up against my mouth. She squeals and instinctively wraps her legs around my neck.
Oh God, I already feel like I’m going to lose it, just holding her in this position. I swallow hard. Her sweet spot is half an inch from my face. Her legs are a vise around my head. This woman is going to be the death of me, I swear to God. I lean in and lick her gently, with hardly any pressure at all. Just a taste.
She shrieks with glee. “This is so wild.” She laughs.
But those are her last coherent words. In no time at all, I’m too turned on to be playful or gentle anymore. At this reverse angle—upside down—I can penetrate her, explore her, devour her like she’s never experienced before. Within seconds, she’s a hot mess, her body jerking against my face, her shrieks and screams and moans and howls a fucking symphony. And I’m losing my mind right along with her.
I convulse with my pleasure, my chest and arm muscles straining. Sweat pours down my back. It’s taking every bit of my strength to keep holding her up like this, especially with her jerking around like a fish on a line. And I’m loving it. I don’t need any more stimulation than this, don’t need anything for myself, couldn’t possibly handle anything more... Oh God, oh God, she flutters into my mouth, sending my skin jolting like she’s zapped me with a Taser.
She lets out an epic roar and takes my full length into her warm, wet mouth, nice and deep... Oh my God, the way she’s sucking on me is... And she tastes incredible... Fuck, oh fuck, she’s so fucking talented, even upside down.
If there’s a heaven, I think we just found it.
My knees buckle but I readjust.
Holy shit.
Oh God, she’s really good at this. So, so good. And she tastes so fucking good.
She’s making crazy-ass sounds, and so am I.
This is incredible. I can’t . . .
Thank you, God, for letting me experience this kind of ecstasy at least once before I die.
Her tongue does something particularly insightful, and my entire body jerks. I’m not sure if this is pleasure or pain. A swirl of light flashes behind my eyelids. My knees buckle. The sound emerging from me is the sound of a lunatic, but I can’t stop. I’m hanging on by the barest of threads. My muscles strain to hold her up. Her mouth is voracious, and so is mine.
Her entire body jerks violently and she lets loose with a pained howl. Her body slams open and shut against my tongue like a window left unlatched in a storm.
I yank myself out of her mouth feverishly, my knees buckling again.
She shrieks.
I want nothing more than to remain inside her warm mouth and see this thing through to its natural, mutual conclusion, but pulling out is an involuntary act, an instinctive act of self-preservation. She’s still brand new to climaxing, just a newborn colt, and I’m betting my dick she’s gonna clench her jaw like a motherfucker when she comes. I love her, God knows I do, and I’m willing to let her do just about anything to me—
except
reflexively chomp down on my cock like a great white shark on a sea lion.
I throw her down on the bed, quickly pounce between her legs, and slam myself into her, letting her orgasm undulate around me. When my release comes, I’m pretty sure I lose consciousness for a split second. My chest heaves. Sweat pours down my back. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t... I can’t ... I can’t do a fucking thing but lie motionless on top of her and catch my breath. I’m not thinking anything coherent right now—other than maybe, “holy fuck.”
After a minute, I roll onto my back next to her, shaking and gasping for air. I’m soaking wet. Damn, that was a work out. Fuck. My entire body burns with the exertion of what we just did.
She rolls onto her side and props her head up on her elbow. Her cheeks are flushed. “So that’s sixty-nining, huh?” She laughs. “I thought it was... simpler. How the hell does anyone besides a Greek god like you ever accomplish that?”
I swallow hard, still not completely functional. “That was the super-advanced way to do it,” I manage to say. “There are several other ways.” I breathe deeply. I’m still shaking. That took a lot out of me, in every way. “Much, much easier ways.”
She laughs again. “Well, damn, boy, let’s try every which way.” She grins broadly. “We’ll just go right on down the list.”
I laugh. She can always make me laugh like no one else can. “I’m in favor of that strategy.”
She hoots. “Oh, Jonas. How the hell were you able to hold me up like that? Holy moly.” She squeezes my bicep. “You truly are
man-ness,
Jonas Faraday. My manly man-ness-y manly man.”
I laugh again. “I could only do it because you’re so damned limber and strong. You’re the reason that worked.”
She beams at me. We’ve discovered yet another way we’re a match made in heaven. I suddenly have an actual, coherent thought:
I love this woman more than I ever thought possible.
My heart continues racing. “I thought I was going to pass out for a minute there,” I say. “I was seeing stars.”
“Oh God.” She laughs. “That wouldn’t have been good with me in that position.”
I sit up and touch her face. I’m suddenly earnest. “I’d never let anything happen to you. You know that, right?”
Her entire face contorts like I just gave her a puppy.
I love this woman. I want to tell her so. I want to look into her eyes and say those three little words. I want her to understand they’re not just words to me—that they’re my new religion. I want her to know I’ve never said those words to anyone else, that I’ve been reserving them, waiting my whole life to say them to
her
.
But nothing comes out of my mouth. Again. What’s wrong with me?
She beams at me. “I know that,” she says softly. “I trust you. That’s why this works.”
I know the “this” she’s referring to isn’t the elusive “cascading sixty-nine.” No, the “this” she means is “Jonas and Sarah”—the two of us, together. It’s our off-the-charts chemistry. It’s how she gets me and I get her. It’s how she makes me laugh when no one else can. It’s how I told her about what happened to my mother—even the parts I’m ashamed of, even the parts that reveal my worthlessness—and she didn’t run away. It’s how I cried to her, sobbed to her, actually—even though I’d sworn off crying a long time ago. And it’s especially how she held me close and cried along with me.
I look over at her. She beams at me.
On second thought, maybe the “this” she’s referring to isn’t “Jonas and Sarah,” after all. Maybe the “this” is just Sarah herself, the new Sarah who’s learning to let go and claim her deepest desires. Because now that she’s given free rein to what she wants rather than what she’s supposed to want, she’s becoming a new woman every single day, right before my eyes. I can see it, plain as day. Fuck, anyone could see it. It’s in the way she walks, the way she talks. The way she struts. The way she fucks. Maybe I’m just along for the ride, her instrument of self-discovery, a mere conduit to her most powerful self. I don’t know. And I don’t care. As long as I get to be the one lying next to her, the one making love to her, the one fucking her brains out if that’s what she wants, whatever, I don’t give a fuck what the “this” is she’s referring to. As long as it includes me, I’m in.
I rub my hands over my face. Jesus, this woman is my crack.
There’s a beat. I should say it now. But I want to say it when I can show her and tell her at the same time. I don’t trust myself with words alone—they’ve been a struggle for me ever since that whole year as a kid when I didn’t speak at all.
She clears her throat. “How is it possible every single time gets better and better and better?” she asks.
“Because we were made for each other,” I say softly.
And because I love you.
Her smile widens. She pushes me back onto the bed and swiftly straddles my lap. She leans down and kisses me tenderly.
I rest my hands on her thighs. “Where the hell did you get the idea to sixty-nine me all of a sudden?” I ask. “That was a pleasant surprise.”
She looks at me sideways. “Jonas, I’ve been reading sex club applications for the past three months, remember? I’ve been stockpiling ideas the whole time.” She winks.
“Oh yeah?” I like where this is headed. “You’ve picked up an idea or two, have you?” I cross my arms under my head and gaze up at her.
“Yes, sir,” she says, her eyes ablaze. She rubs her hands along my biceps. “Maybe just a thing or two... and now that I’ve got the right partner... the perfect partner…” She leans down again and kisses me. “My sweet Jonas.”
My heart leaps. “Sarah,” I breathe. I want to tell her. She deserves to hear it from me.
She whispers right into my ear. “Madness.”
I exhale and close my eyes.
I know I should be happy to hear this word—she’s telling me she loves me in the exact way I’ve taught her to say it to me—the precise way I’ve trained her to say it so as not to scare me off.
Love is a serious mental disease,
I explained to her, over and over, quoting Plato—pointedly avoiding the more pedantic but direct route to the same message. I glance away, trying to collect my thoughts. I feel like I’m failing her with all my secret codes.