The Other Shore (23 page)

Girl:

You said it, not me.

Man:

So? The bottom line is…I love you.

Girl:

Me too.

Man:

We can’t afford not to, we’re inseparable now! Inseparable forever…

Girl:

(
Moved.
) Stay by me, like a good kid. (
Wants to kiss him.
)

Man:

(
Moves away.
) I’m tired. I don’t have the urge.

Girl:

It’s better this way. Stay by me, as long as I can hear your voice.

Man:

What more shall we talk about?

Girl:

You decide, anything’s fine with me. Just say something, for instance, something you’re thinking of.

Man:

I…can’t think.

Girl:

How about your sarcasm, your mockery, and your ridicule? You enjoy doing these things, don’t you?

Man:

I’ve said everything I can say…I really can’t think of anything else…what else can I say?

Girl:

Maybe you could fantasize. Let’s talk about your fantasies about women.

Man:

I’ve become impotent.

Girl:

(
Startled
.) That’s no fun, what has become of that little bit of intelligence you had?

Man:

I’m really very drowsy…

Girl:

Don’t close your eyes. Look at me and say something!

Man:

Leave me alone, I’m totally exhausted…

Girl:

How miserable…How can you be so boring…

Man:

Who? Who’s boring?

Girl:

I mean it’s really boring when a person dies. (
Looks at Girl’s head.
)

(
Girl crawls in front of the head and stares at it
.)

Man:

What are you doing?

Girl:

Nothing.

Man:

(
Sits up.
) Just like a nightmare. (
Also looks at Man’s head.
) This is…is this my head? Do you believe in resurrection?

Girl:

What?

Man:

Transmigration.

Girl:

What did you say?

Man:

Nothing.

(
The two sit quietly back to back
.)

Girl:

(
Persistently
.) She asks, what did you say?

Man:

(
Wearily
.) You say, you didn’t say anything.

Girl:

She says she clearly heard you say something.

Man:

(
Without looking at her.
) You ask what did she hear you say?

Girl:

She says would she ask you if she knew?

Man:

You say that means you didn’t say anything.

Girl:

Then she says, Oh. (
Turns to face the audience.
)

(
Girl sits up straight, then she covers her face with her hands, her head lowered
.

Man looks at woman’s head
.)

Man:

Then you see a contemptuous face. You say even if you wanted to say something, you wouldn’t be saying it to her, and you say even if you actually said something, it wouldn’t have anything to do with her, you’re only talking about yourself. And the you that you’re referring to only means you, which is no more than your self, you mean you, that self of yourself, keep on troubling you.

Girl:

She says she’s afraid of silence, she can’t stand people not talking when they’re face to face with each other, she finds that suffocating. She’s much more afraid of silence than of death, death is more bearable than not talking to each other like this.

Man:

You say you, you’re only talking to yourself.

Girl:

She says she, she’s only left with her memories.

Man:

You say you, the only way you can get a little bit of comfort is by talking to yourself.

Girl:

She says she, the only way she can invoke a little bit of fantasy is through her memories.

Man:

You say you, you can feel somewhat relaxed only when you’re talking to yourself.

Girl:

She says she, she can see herself clearly only when she’s fantasizing.

Man:

You say it’s not that you don’t want to get away from your self, but you’re always talking to yourself, in that way the self will never go away and it’ll never stop haunting you.

Girl:

She says only when she indulges herself in fantasies can she empty herself of her worries, be carefree and recall her past feelings. Even though they may have been scary feelings, they still manage to touch her heart.

(
Man stands up slowly and walks in front of man’s head.
)

Man:

You have to get rid of the baggage in your mind completely, let bygones be bygones, get away from it all, and get it off your back for ever.

Girl:

She’s falling asleep…It’s best to sleep deeply and never wake up, but she just can’t sleep well, she’s suffering from anxieties all the time…

Man:

(
Circles around the head and inspects it.
) You’ve got to find a way to get out of here!

Girl:

Dreams, one after another, intermittent and disjointed, there’s no beginning, there’s no end…

Man:

(
Lifts his head.
) It doesn’t matter where you’re going, when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go!

Girl:

Her head is swooning and she’s unsteady on her feet, she has no idea where she is…

Man:

You’re groping around, you’re trying hard to find a way out, you’re afraid that you might bump into something…

Girl:

A wall, it is collapsing in silence, right in front of her eyes…

Man:

Finally you manage to find a door, it must be a door, it is tightly shut…

Girl:

That high wall, the one which has been standing erect in front of her, suddenly collapses just like that, without a sound, nobody has touched it…

Man:

You must open the door, even if it’s only a little crack, as long as you can…squeeze through it sideways…

Girl:

She actually sees a patch of sky, misty and grey…just like fog…

Man:

You carefully walk into a dark and shady long corridor…it’s curved and bent…there’s no end…

Girl:

A big patch of misty grey sky, it’s dark and light at the same time, like it’s neither morning nor evening…

Man:

(
Lowers his head
.) Strange, where did this top hat come from? You don’t know, should you or shouldn’t you pick it up?

Girl:

Then she clearly hears a squeaking sound.

Man:

But you’re afraid it might be a trap—(
Lifts his head
.)

Girl:

She knows that a knife is cutting—

Man:

You lift it up—(
Bends down to pick up the top hat
.)

Girl:

Cutting open a naked body—

Man:

Oh, a nest of ants! (
Immediately retreats.
)

Girl:

She sees it now, there’s a crowd surrounding a woman, they’re cutting open her stomach to dig out her internal organs.

Man:

(
Inspecting the top hat in his hand
.) It looks like your own hat, you haven’t worn it for a long time, how could you have forgotten about it?

Girl:

They’re butchering her, they’re dissecting and discussing at the same time. There’s also a woman mixed in among them, can’t tell how old she is.

Man:

(
Puts on the hat
.) It actually fits. Only your own hat would fit this well.

Girl:

She lifts her head and looks around. A pair of hollow eye sockets! She takes to her feet at once!

Man:

(
Pulls down the brim of the hat.
) You can’t go without a hat, a man without a hat is like a man without clothes.

Girl:

(
She bends down until her head touches the ground.
) Something’s flowing down her thigh, she knows it may be blood, she feels awfully embarrassed.

Man:

(
Somewhat comforted, he raises his voice slightly.
) You walk down the pitch-dark corridor, at the same time you’re groping for a way, you know what you should avoid, as if you’ve passed through the same corridor once, twice, and even three times before.

Girl:

She’s actually not afraid of bleeding, just that she’s afraid of the sight of blood. Once when she was a small girl she went fishing with the grown-ups, she saw them toss a big fish onto the shore, they’d just caught that fish, it was all shiny and glittering, and then they started to cut it open right there on a piece of rock, their fingers became sticky with blood, and the fish was still struggling and jerking up and down. She felt rather sorry for that fish, it hadn’t died and yet it couldn’t live any longer.

Man:

(
Wobbles backward rather purposely.
) You know it very well, there is no end, but still you have to keep on going, turning wherever there’s a turn. There’s no end, you can’t stop because you have to go on, even though you know nothing will ever come of it.

Girl:

She really wants to cry, but she can’t, she has no more tears. She knows her heart is hardened and dried, a barren stretch of desolation, just like those naked hills behind the old house she lived in when she was a child. She only went there once, she was alone, after that she didn’t dare to go any more, the naked branches in the bushes were shaking, shaking with the wailing wind among those hills.

Man:

(
Finally he cannot stand steadily.
) You don’t know where you should go, should you stop, or perhaps should you turn and go back?

Girl:

(
Gets up, at a loss.
) She doesn’t know how it happened, but somehow she’s in this railway station, it’s all deserted and empty, there’re no signs on the platform. She wants to know where the next train is going, but she can’t find anyone to ask. She feels a bit scared, from here to there in this mammoth platform, she can only hear the hollow tapping of her own footsteps.

(
Man walks behind her, staring at her back
.

She walks away at once and then suddenly stops
.

He takes two steps forward and follows her
.)

Girl:

(
Closes her eyes and holds her breath.
) She knows there’s someone behind her, she can feel that he’s staring at her, her back is cold, she is waiting for that someone to raise the knife, she has no strength to lift her feet—(
Panting
.)

(
Man extends his hands towards her, and she runs away as if she is possessed
.

Man drops his hands
.)

Girl:

(
Running and panting for breath.
) She says she’s terrified, but then she’s not really terrified, she knows she’s only terrified of her memories of terror.

(
Man droops his head.
)

Girl:

Nobody can save her except herself, but she feels too weak even to think of saving herself. (
Dejected.
)

(
Man stares at his feet
.

Girl looks at him at a distance
.)

Girl:

At last she sees someone in front of her, a man she’s long been waiting for, a man who can perhaps save her! She really wants to see his face clearly, but it’s just a blur, she can’t quite make it out no matter how hard she tries. (
Walks around him and looks at him closely.
) My God, it’s only a shadow!

(
Disappointed, she retreats step by step, head down.
)

Man:

(S
lowly lifts his head and marches forward.
) Shit. (
Crouches down to tie the shoelace on his right shoe, gets up, and starts to put forward his right foot
.) Shit! (
Crouches down to tie the shoelace on his left shoe, gets up, and starts to put forward his left foot
.) Shit! (
Crouches down to tie right shoelace again, gets up, and puts forward his right foot
.) Fucking shi—(
Turns to look at left foot, takes back right foot, crouches down to tie left shoelace again, gets up, and starts to lift right foot
.) Mother fucking shit! (
Lifts his right foot in the air to tie shoelace. Then with his right foot touching the ground, he raises the tip of his left foot.
) Mother fucking sh—(
Frustrated, he takes off both shoes, throws them away and sits on the ground trying to figure out what to do next.
)

Girl:

(
Looks at herself all over.
) She has no idea, is she also a shadow herself? (
Looks at the shadow under her feet and turns around again and again on the same spot.
) Is the shadow herself? (
Becoming dizzy
.) Or is she no more than the shadow of this shadow? (
Closes her eyes
.) Who is the real she?