Authors: Gao Xingjian
Tags: #Drama, #Asian, #General, #Literary Criticism, #Chinese
(
Giggling
.) Isn’t this what you want? Isn’t it?
Man:
(
Irritated.
) You must be out of your mind. Are you crazy or something?
Girl:
You’re crazy, you’re sick, not me! All you want is sex, sex, sex and getting yourself turned on. It’s your sexual fantasy, not mine.
Man:
(
Grabs her at once.
) Now let’s see if you can go on bullshitting!
Girl:
(
Pushes him away.
) Get away from me! You want fantasies, right? Go fantasize yourself! (
Picks up the handbag.
)
Man:
(
Knocks her to the ground.
) Don’t even think of running away! You’ll never make it! (
Fishes out the knife from inside his bathrobe.
) I’ll kill you first!
Girl:
(
Startled. She moves back and tries to block him with her handbag.
) What? Are you crazy or something? Stay away from me!
Man:
(
Forces his way towards her and grabs her handbag.
) Slut! Whore! You want to run? Go ahead and try!—(
Kisses her by force
.)
Girl:
(
Seizes a pencil case, wallet, underwear, notebook, book, make-up, a set of keys and other unimaginable sundry items from her handbag and throws them at Man one after another
.) No, don’t! Don’t—!
Man:
Stop—it! (
Grabs her
.) I’m going to make a whore out of you yet!
Girl:
I’m no—
Man:
I don’t care if you aren’t, you still have to pretend once—
Girl:
No! Get away from me! Let—me—go—! Let me go! Let go! I—don’t—(
Becomes hysterical and strikes him again and again.
)
Man:
(
Letting go of her, stunned
.) I was just fooling around. Didn’t you start it first? You started the whole thing, didn’t you?
(
Man puts down the knife and walks away perplexed
.
Monk enters, beating the wooden fish in his hand. He chants loudly
:
“A…mi…tabha! Great mercy, great pity, Amitabha! Sympathy…goodness! Virtuous men, virtuous women, purify your hearts! And in your highest voices, recite the Five Wisdoms Sutra! Since the time of the ancients, such a doctrine, this doctrine of thoughtlessness, has been upheld in sudden enlightenment, and in gradual enlightenment. The body is without form, the essence without entity.”
Girl covers her face with her hands and crouches down slowly. She starts to sob
.
When Man hears her sobbing
,
he shakes his head and
frowns
,
finally turns around and returns to her side
.
He stretches out his hand and bends down to stroke her head and neck
.)
Girl:
Don’t touch me, I have no feelings…(
Starts to wail loudly.
) No feelings! No feelings! No feelings…
(
Man jumps on Girl. She falls onto the ground and wails and cries continuously
.
Monk walks slowly to front stage and sits down, his legs crossed. He beats the wooden fish and chants the sutra
: “Monks of the Buddha, nuns of the Buddha, and man disciples, woman disciples, and the wise men in all directions, they all subscribe to the Law. The Law is neither long nor short, one moment is ten thousand years. No being is not being, all directions are before your eyes. “The extremely big is the same as small, all boundaries forgotten; the extremely small is the same as big, all limits disappeared. Presence is absence, absence is presence. Anything that is not so, it is not worth keeping. One is all, all is one. If this could be so, how could any worry remain unresolved?”)
Man:
This world, it’s all gone crazy,
Girl:
(
Mumbling.
) Just because of loneliness,
Man:
(
Whispering
.) Just because of boredom,
Girl:
Just because of thirst and hunger,
Man:
Just because of desires,
Girl:
It’s unbearable,
Man:
Just because it’s unbearable,
Girl:
Just because it’s unbearable to be a woman,
Man:
Just because to be a man is unbearable,
Girl:
Just because not only being a woman but also being human,
Man:
A living human being, a body of flesh and blood,
Girl:
It’s only to have feelings,
Man:
It’s only to resist death,
Girl:
Just because of the fear of death,
Man:
Just because the yearning for life,
Girl:
It’s only to experience the fear of death,
Man:
It’s only to prove the existence of the self,
Girl:
It’s only for the reason of just because—
Man:
Just because of the reason of it’s only for—
Girl:
It’s only because just because…
Man:
No therefore there is no purpose.
(
Monk starts to turn the beads of his Buddhist rosary, reciting the sutra in silence. The sound of the wooden fish becomes increasingly lighter, and Monk closes his eyes in meditation. Sound of wooden fish fades completely
.)
Girl:
A sound, sharp and piercing…
Man:
A greenish grey sun, gyrating in the dark…
Girl:
Dead at knife-point, dead in space…
Man:
Motor cars howling ferociously—
Girl:
And the fingers are very cruel!
Man:
Zooming past, zooming, zooming and gone…
Girl:
Void and empty, all over the body…
Man:
A swollen leather bag…
Girl:
Flowing from the inside of the body to the outside…
Man:
Window panes shaking furiously forever—
Girl:
Up and down and all over, no more existence, no more weight, all shapes have vanished—
Man:
Only hear something breathing—
Girl:
Water’s dripping, where is it?
Man:
(
Listening.
) No sound.
Girl:
Still dripping, and still dripping…
Man:
Any more troubles?
Girl:
Not turned off properly…How come it can’t be turned off completely?
Man:
Turn off what completely?
Girl:
The tap, the tap in the bathroom.
Man:
Let it drip.
Girl:
Go turn it off, I beg you.
Man:
(
Sits up and observes her.
) The doors, the windows and all the taps have been shut off properly!
Girl:
But I’m still uneasy…
Man:
You’re hypersensitive.
Girl:
I’m always frightened, always afraid…
Man:
What’s there to be afraid of?
Girl:
Afraid of death, afraid of dark houses, I’ve been afraid of staying in a room by myself since I was young, even when I was sleeping, I had got to turn on the light. First I was afraid of growing up, then I was afraid of men, and afraid of becoming a woman, a real woman, of course I’m not afraid of that any more, but I’m still afraid, afraid that someone might just suddenly kill me, just like that, with no particular reason…
Man:
(
Becoming alert
.) What are you talking about? Who wants to kill you?
Girl:
I don’t know, but I’m afraid, there’s always a certain fear, always afraid that…When I was eighteen I was afraid of being twenty, when I was twenty I was afraid of being over twenty, and after twenty I felt that death was getting closer day by day.
Man:
(
Relieved
.) According to what you said, it’s the same with everybody. But you’re still young.
Girl:
When I’m alone at night I’m always jumpy. I’m afraid of weekends, afraid of spending the days by myself. I’m afraid of mornings, afraid that someday crinkles might appear at the corner of my eyes, I’m afraid, afraid that someday I’ll suddenly grow old.
Man:
Tell me, how old are you really?
Girl:
I’m close to twenty six, I’m not young any more.
Man:
What is twenty six? I was still a kid when I was twenty six. I didn’t even know how to fart properly, let alone knowing women.
Girl:
But that’s you, to a woman, once she reaches thirty it spells death, and that’s the truth!
Man:
According to you, I should have been dead a long time ago, shouldn’t I?
Girl:
For a man, life begins at thirty, but for a woman, the best time of her life is over and done with already.
Man There’s no need to worry. You’re still in your prime, still fresh as a daisy—
Girl:
Really? Am I still fresh?
Man:
When did you first do it? Your first time?
Girl:
Let me think, sixteen, no, at that time I was…only fourteen.
Man:
Did you do it with a classmate? Or with a dirty old man?
Girl:
No, my teacher, a physical education teacher.
Man:
The bastard!
Girl:
He told me that I had a good figure, that I had long legs and I was agile, so he would give me special lessons. He invited me to his place and gave me some candies, I was very fond of candies then. He told me to take off my clothes. You see, there wasn’t anybody else at his place. Then he told me to demonstrate some movements for him to look at and he would correct me. First he held my waist to help me press my legs down, then…he…raped me.
Man:
(
Letting go of her.
) You only thought he did?
Girl:
At the time I felt…I also wanted to know something about my body…
Man:
And since then you’ve been going all out to use yourself up, to consume it all. (
Sits up.
)
Girl:
Aren’t you also using yourself up? And you think that’s love, don’t you? Go pull a fast one on some wide-eyed teenybopper!
Man:
You’re always flirting, has it ever occurred to you that you’ve got some kind of psychological problem?
Girl:
Problem? Everyone has a problem, including you, me, everyone. Have you seen how men stare at women? The look in your eyes, the way you whisper, the way you behave, and the way you leer at women’s clothing, aren’t they all meant to encourage women, so that they’ll make themselves sexy for men? The bras, panties, necklaces, jewellery, and perfume, by the way, men also use perfume, only the brand names are different, aren’t they all designed by men and for men’s excitement? Women themselves don’t need these things at all. Movies, television, fashion, advertisements, pop songs, bars and nightclubs, is there anything that’s not meant to turn people on? You men all want to turn women into playthings, and you, you’re not much better.
Man:
I knew it, I knew it. You’re a feminist!
Girl:
You don’t know anything. I’m no believer in feminism or any other ism. I’m a living human being, I only want to live life to the fullest as a woman.
Man:
Wonderful! So why are you still complaining?
Girl:
I’m not complaining, I’m only saying that I’m afraid, afraid that all these will disappear…
Man:
That’s why you’re trying desperately to seize every moment?
Girl:
Aren’t you doing the same thing? Whenever you see an opportunity, you never let it go.
Man:
(
Stands up.
) Everybody is sick, the whole world is sick.
(
Girl tenderly caresses Man’s leg
,
her face leaning close to him
.
Monk lifts his head and beat softly on the wooden fish
.)
Man:
(
Looks at Monk and talks to himself.
) We’ll all be used up before we die.
(
Monk holds up the wooden fish and beats on it. The sounds becomes louder. Monk exits
.)
Girl:
Don’t leave me.
Man:
(
Stroking her head
.) I’m right by your side, am I not?
Girl:
I don’t have anybody to rely on, you wouldn’t understand even if I told you.
Man:
You and I are in the same boat, the world is a desert.
Girl:
I’m afraid that tomorrow…
Man:
Tomorrow, tomorrow, it’s still early…
Girl:
No one’s coming?
Man:
Tomorrow, no one.
Girl:
Do I have your word for it?
Man: