The Mousetrap and Other Plays (3 page)

MARSTON
. Oh, wizard!

LOMBARD
. Things are a bit at sixes and sevens with the Owens not turning up.

MARSTON
. Tricky, what? I say, wizard place for a holiday, what?

(
Exit
MARSTON
and
LOMBARD
Left 1.
BLORE
wanders out on balcony, looks sharply into room and presently exits Right on balcony as
GENERAL
MACKENZIE
and
WARGRAVE
talk.
WARGRAVE
continues to sit like a Buddha. He observes
MACKENZIE
,
who is Right Centre, standing looking rather lost, absentmindedly pulling his moustache.
MACKENZIE
is carrying a shooting stick. He looks at it wistfully, half opens and closes it.
)

WARGRAVE
. Aren't you going to sit down?

MACKENZIE
. Well, to tell you the truth, you seem to be in my chair.

WARGRAVE
. I am sorry. I didn't realize you were one of the family.

MACKENZIE
. Well, it's not that exactly. To tell you the truth, I've never been here before. But you see I live at the Benton Club—have for the last ten years. And my seat is just about there. Can't get used to sitting anywhere else.

WARGRAVE
. It becomes a bit of a habit. (
He rises; breaks to Right.
)

MACKENZIE
. Yes, it certainly does. Thank you—(
Sits up Left.
) Well, it's not quite as good as the Club's but it's a nice chair. (
Confidentially
) To tell you the truth, I was a bit surprised when I got this invitation. Haven't had anything of the kind for well over four years. Very nice of them, I thought.

ROGERS
. (
Enters Left 1. Picks up
WARGRAVE
's coat from sofa.
) Can I have your keys, sir?

WARGRAVE
. Is Lady Constance Culmington expected here, can you tell me? (
Gives him keys.
)

ROGERS
. (
Surprised
) Lady Constance Culmington? I don't think so, sir. Unless she's coming down with Mr. and Mrs. Owen.

WARGRAVE
. Oh.

ROGERS
. Allow me, sir. (
Takes
GENERAL
MACKENZIE
's coat.
) Can I have your keys, sir?

MACKENZIE
. (
Rising. Crossing down Left
) No, thanks. I'll unpack for myself.

ROGERS
. Dinner is at eight o'clock, sir. Shall I show you to your room?

MACKENZIE
. Please.

(
MACKENZIE
goes to door Left 1, which
ROGERS
holds open for him.
WARGRAVE
follows more deliberately, looking around room in an unsatisfied fashion.
ROGERS
follows them out. Sound of seagulls, then
DOCTOR
ARMSTRONG
arrives upon balcony from Left, followed by
NARRACOTT
carrying his suitcase.
ARMSTRONG
is a fussy, good-looking man of forty-four. He looks rather tired.
)

NARRACOTT
. Here you are, sir. I'll call Rogers. (
Exits Left 1.
)

(
ARMSTRONG
looks round; nods approval; looks out at sea. Then
NARRACOTT
returns.
ARMSTRONG
tips him.
NARRACOTT
exits to Centre Left.
ARMSTRONG
sits settee up Right.
BLORE
comes along balcony from Right; pauses at sight of
ARMSTRONG
.)

BLORE
. (
To above settee
) How are you? Davis. Davis is the name.

ARMSTRONG
. Mine's Armstrong. (
Rises.
)

BLORE
. Doctor Armstrong, I believe.

ARMSTRONG
. Yes.

BLORE
. Thought so. Never forget a face.

ARMSTRONG
. Don't tell me I've forgotten one of my patients!

BLORE
. No, no, nothing like that, but I once saw you in Court giving expert evidence.

ARMSTRONG
. Oh, really? Are you interested in the Law?

BLORE
. Well, you see, I'm from South Africa. Naturally, legal processes in this country are bound to interest a Colonial.

ARMSTRONG
. Oh, yes, of course.

BLORE
. (
Crossing down Right
) Have a drink?

ARMSTRONG
. No, thanks. I never touch it.

BLORE
. Do you mind if I do? Mine's empty.

ARMSTRONG
. Not a bit.

BLORE
. (
Pours himself a drink.
) I've been having a look round the island. It's a wonderful place, isn't it?

ARMSTRONG
. (
Crossing to Centre
) Wonderful. I thought as I was coming across the mainland what a haven of peace this was.

BLORE
. (
Up to him, putting his face close to his
) Too peaceful for some, I daresay.

ARMSTRONG
. (
Moves to Left
) Wonderfully restful. Wonderful for the nerves. I'm a nerve specialist, you know.

BLORE
. Yes, I know that. Did you come down by train? (
Goes to him.
)

ARMSTRONG
. (
Up Left to window
) No, I motored down. Dropped in on a patient on the way. Great improvement—wonderful response.

BLORE
. (
Up to him
) Best part of two hundred miles, isn't it? How long did it take you?

ARMSTRONG
. (
To up Right Centre
) I didn't hurry. I never hurry. Bad for the nerves. Some mannerless young fellow nearly drove me into the ditch near Amesbury. Shot past me at about eighty miles an hour. Disgraceful bit of driving. I'd like to have had his number.

BLORE
. (
Comes to him
) Yes, and if only more people would take the numbers of these young road hogs.

ARMSTRONG
. Yes. You must excuse me. I must have a word with Mr. Owen. (
He bustles out Left 1.
)

BLORE
. (
Following down Left
) Oh, but—Mr. Owen isn't coming down—

(
BLORE
rings bell below Left 1 door. Finishes drink; puts glass on Left sofa.
ROGERS
enters almost immediately Left 1.
)

ROGERS
. You rang, sir?

BLORE
. Yes, take my hat, will you? (
Hands him his cap
) What time's supper?

ROGERS
. Dinner is at eight o'clock, sir. (
Pauses
) In a quarter of an hour. I think tonight dressing will be optional.

BLORE
. (
Familiarly
) Got a good place, here.

ROGERS
. (
Draws himself up rather stiffly
) Yes, thank you, sir.

BLORE
. Been here long?

ROGERS
. Just under a week, sir.

BLORE
. Is that all? (
Pause
) So I don't suppose you know much about this crowd that's here?

ROGERS
. No, sir.

BLORE
. All old friends of the family?

ROGERS
. I really couldn't say, sir.

BLORE
. Oh, well—Oh, Rogers—

ROGERS
. Yes, sir?

BLORE
. Rogers, do you think you could put some sandwiches and a bottle of beer in my room at night? I get an 'ell of an appetite with this sea air.

ROGERS
. I'll see what I can do, sir.

BLORE
. Rogers—I'll see you won't lose by it. Where's my room?

ROGERS
. I'll show you, sir.

BLORE
. (
As they go out
) Good. I can do with a wash and brush up straight away. (
Exits Left 1 with
ROGERS
.)

(
Enter
MRS. ROGERS
Left 2. She picks up glass from sofa and from table up Left and takes them down Right. Enter
ROGERS
with tray of eight glasses.)

MRS. ROGERS
. (
She takes glasses off tray and
ROGERS
puts on dirty ones
) Oh, there you are, Rogers. You ought to clear these dirty glasses. You're always leaving the dirty work to me. Here I am with a four-course dinner on my hands and no one to help me. You might come and give me a hand with the dishing up. (
To above Left sofa
) Who was it that you were talking to, by the way?

ROGERS
. Davis, South African gentleman. No class if you ask me—and no money either.

MRS. ROGERS
. (
Comes down Right of sofa to Centre
) I don't like him—Don't like any of 'em much. More like that bunch we had in the boarding house, I'd say.

ROGERS
. Davis gives out he's a millionaire or something. You should see his underwear! Cheap as they make 'em.

MRS. ROGERS
. Well, as I said, it's not treating us right. All these visitors arriving today and the maids not coming till tomorrow. What do they think we are?

ROGERS
. Now, then—Anyway, the money's good.

MRS. ROGERS
. So it ought to be! Catch me going into service again unless the money was good.

ROGERS
. (
To Centre
) Well, it is good, so what are you going on about?

MRS. ROGERS
. Well, I can tell you this, Rogers. I'm not staying anywhere I'm put upon. Cooking's my business! I'm a good cook—

ROGERS
. (
Placating her
) First rate, old girl.

MRS. ROGERS
. But the kitchen's my place and housework's none of my business. All these guests! I've a good mind to put my hat and coat on and walk out now and go straight back to Plymouth.

ROGERS
. (
Grinning
) You can't do that, old girl.

MRS. ROGERS
. (
Belligerently
) Who says I can't? Why not, I should like to know?

ROGERS
. Because you're on an island, old girl. Had you forgotten that?

MRS. ROGERS
. Yes, and I don't know as I fancy being on an island.

ROGERS
. Don't know that I do, either, come to that. No slipping down to a pub, or going to the pictures. Oh, well, it's double wages on account of the difficulties. And there's plenty of beer in the house.

MRS. ROGERS
. That's all you ever think about—beer.

ROGERS
. Now, now, stop your nagging. You get back to the kitchen or your dinner will be spoilt.

MRS. ROGERS
. It'll be spoilt anyway, I expect. Everybody's going to be late. Wasted on them, anyway. Thank goodness I didn't make a soufflé. (
Enter
VERA
Left 1.
MRS. ROGERS
goes to Left 2 door.
) Oh, dinner won't be a minute, Miss. Just a question of dishing up. (
Exits Left 2.
)

VERA
. (
To above Left sofa
) Is everything all right, Rogers? Can you manage between the two of you?

ROGERS
. (
Crossing up Left
) Yes, thank you, Miss. The Missus talks a lot, but she gets it done. (
Exits Left 2.
)

(
VERA
goes to Right window.
EMILY
enters Left 1, having changed.
)

VERA
. What a lovely evening!

EMILY
. Yes, indeed. The weather seems very settled. (
To Centre window.
)

VERA
. (
Comes down Right
) How plainly one can hear the sea.

EMILY
. A pleasant sound. (
Comes down Centre.
)

VERA
. Hardly a breath of wind—and deliciously warm. Not like England at all.

EMILY
. I should have thought you might feel a little uncomfortable in that dress.

VERA
. (
Not taking the point
) Oh, no.

EMILY
. (
Nastily
) It's rather tight, isn't it?

VERA
. (
Good-humoured
) Oh, I don't think so.

EMILY
. (
Sits Left sofa; takes out grey knitting
) You'll excuse me, my dear, but you're a young girl and you've got your living to earn—

VERA
. Yes?

EMILY
. A well-bred woman doesn't like her secretary to appear flashy. It looks, you know, as though you were trying to attract the attention of the opposite sex.

VERA
. (
Coming to Right Centre
) And would you say I do attract them?

EMILY
. That's beside the point. A girl who deliberately sets out to get the attention of men won't be likely to keep her job long.

VERA
. (
Laughing at her
) Ah! Surely that depends on who she's working for?

EMILY
. Really, Miss Claythorne!

VERA
. Aren't you being a little unkind?