The Mousetrap and Other Plays (27 page)

(
LADY
WESTHOLME
jerks her arm away.
)

You like your money's worth as well as another, I'll bet you do and all.

LADY
WESTHOLME
. Kindly allow me to know my own mind, Mr. Higgs.

DRAGOMAN
. (
Nudging
LADY
WESTHOLME
) Very nice expedition—

(
LADY
WESTHOLME
glares at the
DRAGOMAN
.)

—(
Coaxingly
) Very antique. Two hundred
B
.
C
. before Christ.

LADY
WESTHOLME
. No, Mahommed.

DRAGOMAN
. Very nice expedition. Not difficult climb. Not get tired at all.

LADY
WESTHOLME
. I am
never
tired.

HIGGS
. Well, if you ask me, I think it's just ploom foolishness not to see all we can. We've paid our money, 'aven't we?

LADY
WESTHOLME
. Unfortunately, yes. But there are certain decencies to be respected, though I am sure that it's no good my attempting to explain them to
you
, Mr. Higgs.

HIGGS
. You don't think I'd understand them? I would, though. All I say is, we've paid our money.

LADY
WESTHOLME
. (
Crossing to the deckchair down Right
) There is really no need to go into it again. (
She sits.
)

HIGGS
. It isn't that you liked the old woman. Coom to that, nobody did. I've not noticed any signs of grieving in her family. Coom into a bit of brass, they 'ave, by the look of them.

MISS
PRYCE
. I so often think these things are a merciful release.

HIGGS
. You bet
they
see it that way. And why Lady W. here should be so cut up . . .

LADY
WESTHOLME
. Not at all. It is simply a question of not going off sightseeing just after a sudden and unexpected death. I have no feeling of
regret.
Mrs. Boynton was not even an acquaintance and I am strongly of the opinion that she
drank.

MISS
PRYCE
. (
To
LADY
WESTHOLME
) No, Arethusa. That is really a most
uncharitable
thing to say—and quite
untrue.

LADY
WESTHOLME
. Don't be a fool, Amabel. I know alcohol when I see it.

HIGGS
. So do I. (
Wistfully
) Ah wouldn't mind seein' some now—but I suppose it's a bit early.

MISS
PRYCE
. I feel most strongly that one shouldn't speak evil of the dead. At any rate, my lips are sealed.

HIGGS
. (
To the
DRAGOMAN
) Hi, Abraham, ah'm coomin' on expedition. (
He crosses to
MISS
PRYCE
) You'd best come, too.

(
MISS
PRYCE
really wants to go, but has one eye on
LADY
WESTHOLME
.)

MISS
PRYCE
. Well, really—I hardly know—it seems . . .

DRAGOMAN
. I take you very nice walk. See place where Natabeans buried. Very
sad
—very
suitable.

MISS
PRYCE
. A cemetery? I really think, Arethusa,
that
would be
quite
all right.

LADY
WESTHOLME
.
You
can do as you
please
, but I shall stay here.

HIGGS
. (
To
MISS
PRYCE
) Coom on then, lass.

MISS
PRYCE
. I hardly know . . .

(
HIGGS
takes
MISS
PRYCE
by the arm and leads her to the slope Left.
)

HIGGS
. Ee—coom on. I'll look after yer. (
He stops on the slope and turns.
) And look 'ere, Abraham, I don't want any maidenhair fern—'angin'
oop
or
down.

(
MISS
PRYCE
,
HIGGS
and the
DRAGOMAN
exit up the slope Left.
CARBERY
enters Right.
)

LADY
WESTHOLME
. Ah, Colonel Carbery, I wanted to speak to you.

CARBERY
. (
Moving Right Centre
) Yes, Lady Westholme?

LADY
WESTHOLME
. I do hope you understand that there must be no
unpleasantness
about this business.

CARBERY
. (
Very vague
) Now what d'you mean by unpleasantness, Lady Westholme?

LADY
WESTHOLME
. I am speaking
diplomatically.
These people are Americans. Americans are very touchy and prone to take offence. They may resent any sign of officialdom.

CARBERY
. (
Mildly
) Well, you know, sudden death and all that—I have my duty to do.

LADY
WESTHOLME
. Quite. But the whole thing is perfectly straightforward. The heat here was intense yesterday. Radiation off these rocks. Old Mrs. Boynton was obviously in poor health. (
She lowers her voice
) Between ourselves, she
drank.

CARBERY
. Indeed? Do you happen to know that as a
fact?

LADY
WESTHOLME
. I am positive of it.

CARBERY
. But you've no evidence—eh?

LADY
WESTHOLME
.
I
don't
need
evidence.

CARBERY
. Unfortunately, I do.

LADY
WESTHOLME
. A sudden heat stroke is not in the least surprising under the circumstances.

CARBERY
. No, no. Perfectly natural thing to happen, I agree. (
He moves above the table.
)

LADY
WESTHOLME
. So we shan't be held up here?

CARBERY
. No, no, I assure you, Lady Westholme. Horses will be along this afternoon, and arrangements made for removing the—er—body. We can all leave together.

(
LENNOX
and
NADINE
enter Right.
)

Sit down, Mrs. Boynton. (
He indicates the chairs Right of the table for
NADINE
and Left of it for
LENNOX
.)

(
NADINE
sits Right of the table,
LENNOX
Left of it. There is a pause.
)

(
He looks at
LADY
WESTHOLME
.) That's all right, then, Lady Westholme.

(
LADY
WESTHOLME
rises and stamps off Right
)

(
He watches her go, smiling to himself.
) Masterful woman. (
He sits above the table.
) Thinks she runs the British Empire. (
His manner changes.
) Now, Mr. Boynton, I shall want a certain amount of details from you. (
He taps his papers.
) Forms, you know. Curse of our age. Don't want to worry you more than we can help.

NADINE
. Of course, we quite understand.

LENNOX
. Yes, we understand.

CARBERY
. Deceased's name and age?

LENNOX
. Ada Caroline Boynton. She was sixty-two.

CARBERY
. (
Making notes
) And her health hadn't been too good, eh?

NADINE
. She had congestive cardiac failure. We all knew that death might occur at any moment.

CARBERY
. You put it quite professionally.

NADINE
. I—I had a certain amount of nursing training before my marriage.

CARBERY
. Oh, I see.

LENNOX
. My mother was a sick woman—a very sick woman.

CARBERY
. (
Gently; with something significant in his voice
) Rather a strenuous trip, this, to bring a very sick woman, wasn't it?

NADINE
. You didn't know my mother-in-law. She was a very determined woman. If she wanted to do a thing—(
She shrugs her shoulders
) well, she just did it. We had to give in.

CARBERY
. I know, I know. Awfully obstinate, some of these old people. Just won't listen to reason. (
He pauses.
) You did all you could to dissuade her, I suppose?

NADINE
. (
Quickly
) Of course.

CARBERY
. Very distressing. (
He shoots a quick sideways glance at them.
) I quite realize the—er—shock—and—er—grief—it must be to you.

LENNOX
. It was a great shock, yes.

CARBERY
. Quite, quite.

(
There is a pause.
)

LENNOX
. Is that all?

CARBERY
. All?

NADINE
. There are no further formalities to go through?

CARBERY
. I'll fix up everything as far as I can. We've got to get back to civilization first. There will probably have to be an autopsy.

LENNOX
. (
Rising; sharply
) Is that necessary?

CARBERY
. Well, under the circumstances—sudden death, you know. Not being attended by a doctor.

NADINE
. But there are two doctors here in camp.

CARBERY
. (
Very vague
) Well, yes, that's true, of course.

NADINE
. Surely one of them could certify the death?

CARBERY
. (
Rising and moving down Left
) Well, I don't know—they weren't exactly attending her, were they?

NADINE
. I believe Miss King did—talk to my mother-in-law about her state of health.

CARBERY
. Did she now? Well, that might help. (
Sharply
) You don't like the idea of an autopsy?

LENNOX
. Frankly, no. It—it would upset us all very much.

CARBERY
. Of course I understand your feeling. Still—she was only your stepmother, wasn't she, Mr. Boynton?

LENNOX
. No—yes . . .

NADINE
. (
Rising
) They were so young when their father remarried that it was like their own mother.

CARBERY
. I see. I see.

NADINE
. So you will do what you can?

CARBERY
. I'll do what I can.

(
LENNOX
and
NADINE
cross and exit Right.
)

(
He moves above the table, raises his eyebrows and purses his lips.
) I wonder now. I wonder. Interestin'.

(
RAYMOND
and
SARAH
enter quickly from the marquee, talking. They look happy and animated.
)

Oh, Doctor King.

SARAH
. (
Moving to Left of
CARBERY
) Yes?

CARBERY
. Just wanted a word. (
He indicates the chair Left of the table.
)

(
SARAH
sits Left of the table.
)

(
To
RAYMOND
) About your mother's state of health, Mr. Boynton. Perhaps Doctor King could help us there.

RAYMOND
. (
Moving to Left of
SARAH
) In what way?

CARBERY
. (
Sitting above the table; to
SARAH
) I understand that you had a talk with Mrs. Boynton on the subject of her health yesterday.

SARAH
. Ye-es. It wasn't a consultation, though.

CARBERY
. You mean she didn't call you in?

SARAH
. No. (
She pauses. Embarrassed
) Actually, I spoke to her. I—I warned her.

CARBERY
. Warned her?

SARAH
. Oh—of the state of her health. I—I didn't think she took it seriously enough.

CARBERY
. It was serious, then?

SARAH
. Yes.

CARBERY
. So you weren't surprised when she died?

SARAH
. (
Slowly
) No, I wasn't surprised—not really.

CARBERY
. Excuse me, Doctor King, but what do you mean by “not really?”

SARAH
. I just meant—that it came so soon after my warning her.

CARBERY
. What did you warn her about—tell her not to overdo it—that sort of thing?

SARAH
. (
After a pause
) Not quite. (
With a rush
) I told her I didn't think she had very long to live.

(
CARBERY
whistles.
)

CARBERY
. Do you modern doctors usually say that sort of thing?

SARAH
. No. It was—quite unprofessional.

CARBERY
. But you had a reason, eh?