The Miraculous Makeover of Lizard Flanagan (5 page)

Her reflection didn't look a whole lot like her, though. It didn't show how tall she was, and it didn't show all the nose hairs sticking out of her nostrils or the darkness at the roots of her potato chip-colored hair.

“Now, girls,” she called out after she'd taken roll, “I'm going to take you downstairs to the locker room. You'll each be assigned a locker and a combination lock.”

Just what I need, I thought, another lock. At least I didn't have to share my locker with anyone.

“Go ahead, girls, and change into your gym clothes,” Ms. Puff said. “We're playing softball with the boys.”

“It would be cool to be in Zach's class,” Lisa said to Ginger and Heather. “I'd like to see him play.”

“Yeah,” Ginger said, turning to me with a grin. “I bet he looks sexy in his gym shorts. Bet Sam does, too.”

Heather laughed and Lisa smiled in that cool way of hers. What an ice princess.

“Well, I'm glad you're interested in what really matters,” I said sarcastically.

“You bet!” Ginger said. “Is there anything that matters more about a guy than his bod?”

Heather squealed. She sounded like one of the little pigs on my uncle's farm.

We all started changing into our gym clothes. Boy, was I surprised. They all wore bras! There were only three girls besides me who weren't wearing one. I didn't want to stare, so I just glanced around every couple of seconds or so. Some of the girls needed bras, some of them didn't. Some were sort of on the borderline.

If you must know, I was one of the borderline cases, leaning toward not needing one, which was fine with me.

Lisa needed a bra and wore one.

I didn't think any girls had worn bras last year. But then I couldn't be sure. What had happened over the summer? It was weird how everyone seemed to be turning into different people.

We waited at the door in a clump to go outside. That is, all but Lisa and Ginger. They stood in their gym clothes (that looked brand-new, for crying out loud) in front of the mirrors, combing their hair.

Shannon, the girl who'd bumped into Lisa at lunch on the first day, stood with her friends, Angie and Cheryl, near Heather and me. They watched Lisa as she pulled the comb through her thick wavy hair.

Lisa glanced over and saw them looking at her. “What are you three geeks staring at?”

“Nothing,” Shannon said.

She turned her back to Lisa and murmured to her friends, “What an egomaniac.” They giggled.

Heather walked over to Lisa and whispered in her ear. Lisa coolly turned and gazed at the three girls. “If I were as ugly as you three, I wouldn't want to see myself in the mirror.”

An embarrassed giggle went through the crowd of girls.

Shannon and her friends turned bright red with anger and embarrassment. Shannon's eyes narrowed and she whispered something to them. They nodded and glared at Lisa.

“Why are you guys combing your hair now?” Heather asked, looking at Lisa's reflection over her shoulder. “It'll just get messy again outside.”

“So?” Ginger said. “The boys are out there, remember?”

“Oh, yeah!” Heather said, rushing to her school bag.

Several other girls hurried to their bags to grab their combs and brushes. One of them, Sara Pulliam, even pulled out a tiny container of perfume and sprayed it on her neck.

“In case I sweat,” she said to Heather. “This'll cover up the smell.”

I looked at some girls standing next to me and rolled my eyes, but no one said anything.

“We don't have time for that, girls,” Ms. Puff called out. “Let's go.”

Ms. Puff led us outside through the locker-room door, and we climbed the small hill to the softball diamond.

I walked behind Shannon, Angie, and Cheryl. They were talking, and I heard Shannon say, “She'll gets hers someday.”

I didn't blame her for being mad.

When we got to the top of the hill, the guys were already there. Stinky and Ed stepped out of the crowd of guys and walked over to me.

“What took you so long?” Stinky complained. “We've been waiting for twenty minutes.”

“Five minutes, Stinky,” Ed corrected him.

“You can't believe what these girls do to get ready to play softball,” I said.

Stinky's and Ed's eyes got big. They glanced at each other and back at me. “What do they do?” they said together.

“You don't want to know,” I said.

The boys' gym teacher, Mr. Grodin, was a big guy with hairy legs. He called out, “Ed Mechtensteimer, you'll be captain of your team.”

“And Jennifer Peterson,” called out Ms. Puff, “you will be captain of your team.”

Mr. Grodin pulled a coin out of his pocket. “What'll it be, Mechtensteimer?” He tossed the coin in the air.

“Heads,” Ed said.

Mr. Grodin caught the coin and slapped it onto his other hand. “Heads it is,” he said. “You get first choice.”

“All right!” Ed said. He turned and surveyed the crowd of kids. He grinned at me. “Lizard.”

Some of the girls started to murmur as if they were surprised.

I grinned at Ed and walked over to him. I looked around at all the kids in the class and figured I was probably the best player there. No brag, just fact.

Jennifer picked Tom Luther next. That was a good move; Tom had a .600 batting average in the metro league. Ed picked Stinky next, then he and Jennifer took turns till all the kids were on one team or another. Ginger and Lisa were picked last. In a way I felt sorry for them. It must have been really embarrassing to stand there knowing that no one wanted you.

Then we started playing ball, and I stopped feeling sorry. They were the worst players I'd ever seen! Lisa was on our team, and Ginger was on Jennifer's. When it was our turn in the field, Ed put Lisa in center field. I was pitching, Ed was on third base, and Stinky was shortstop. Tom Luther came up to bat.

“Watch him, he's tough,” I heard Ed say to Nathan Morgan, who was playing first base.

I wasn't about to pitch an easy one to Luther. He was a pro. I wound up and threw my curve. Tom swung and missed. Strike one. I nodded. Next I pitched a fastball. This time he managed to connect and popped the ball up to center field. It would be an easy out. I looked over to see who would catch it.

Lisa was standing right under the ball. Her arms were folded; she looked as if she were daydreaming.

“Lisa!” I screamed. “Get the ball!”

Lisa shaded her eyes with her hand.

“What?”

“The
ball!
”

Plop.
It landed right at her feet.

Lisa looked at the ball, then up at me. She strolled over to the ball and picked it up.

“Throw it here!” Ed yelled.

She threw it in his direction, but it only went a few feet and fell to the ground. She shrugged, threw her long hair over one shoulder, and started talking to Heather.

By that time, Luther had his run.

Time to get serious, I thought. I got the next three batters out with my fastball.

“Good going, Lizard!” Stinky called out.

Now it was our turn at bat. I was up first.

Josh Meachum was pitching.

“Sock it out of the park, Lizard!” Ed yelled. “Show 'em what you've got!”

I knew Josh had a good fastball. I waited to see what he'd dish up for me.

It was his curve. I swung and hit it high into right field. That was Ginger's position. “Ooo, ooo,” she said, running for the ball. “I got it, I got it, I got it!” The ball hit her hands and bounced to the ground. She scooped it up and threw it to first base, but I was already there.

“Close,” she said, “but no cigar.”

I made it around the bases on the next three pitches. I think Meachum was giving some easy pitches to the girls on our team. He's a nice guy.

Not nice enough, though. After a few innings we were ahead, 9 to 3, so he struck out three of the next five hitters. We were back in the field.

The next four batters, all guys on the metro teams, got runs. The score was 9 to 7. They were catching up.

I really wanted to win my first middle-school game, even if was just in gym class. Maybe it was superstition, but I wanted to start out the school year on the right foot.

Ginger was up next.

“Be nice,” she said to me. “Remember, we're locker partners.”

I wound up and threw her my curveball. I didn't feel like being nice.

She swung hard and missed. She grabbed her nose, laughing, and spun around in a circle. “I thought you were going to be
nice
,” she said.

She looked so embarrassed, I felt sort of sorry for her. Next time, I threw her a cream puff, but she fanned again. She even missed the third easy pitch. She was beyond help.

Her team got two runs. Then I struck out two more hitters.

The score was 9 to 9, and we were up at bat.

We scored three runs before the inning was over.

I looked at my watch. I knew we'd had our last run. Now we just had to keep Jennifer's team from getting runs and tying us or winning the game.

I struck out the first batter. The next four batters up were metro players, and they were good. The first got a hit, the second doubled, then the third batter singled. Those metro guys were having a good day.

The score was 12 to 9 and the bases were loaded. There was only a minute or so of playing time left, and everyone knew this play might end the game in a tie.

Tom Luther was up at bat. I threw him my curve, but he was ready for it. He knocked a high fly ball out to center field.

“Walinsky!” I screamed. “Get it!”

But he wasn't close enough. I knew he couldn't run that fast.

“Lisa!” I screamed.

She was talking to Heather but looked up. She didn't move, but the ball flew right to her as if it were a radar-controlled missile.

Lisa raised her arms a bit to shield her face.
Wham!
The ball landed right in her hands.

No one was more surprised than Lisa.

While the kids cheered, she stood there with huge eyes and stared back at them. Then she smiled and held her fists high in the air and whooped.

I was glad she'd caught the ball for our team, but I had to marvel at what the odds must have been for that to happen. Maybe a thousand to one. Or a million.

“Let's go!” shouted Mr. Grodin. “Mechtensteimer's team wins!”

We headed back to the school building. Ed ran past Lisa and yelled, “Good going, Lisa! Great play!”

She smiled and nodded as if she deserved the compliment and held her fists in the air again.

I wasn't about to congratulate her. Her “great play” was a fluke. Out of thirty minutes of play time, she'd stood around for twenty-nine minutes and fifty-five seconds, then held up her hands and won the game.

I couldn't stand it.

At the school building the boys and girls separated. “Did you see the posters for the sixth-grade dance?” Sara said to Jennifer as we tromped into the locker room.

“Yeah,” she said. “Next Friday night, right?”

The mob of girls coming into the locker room slowed and stopped in a big clump. I was stuck in the middle.

“Yeah. Are you planning to go?” Sara said. “
Everyone
will be there.”

Lisa nodded to Ginger and smiled.

“I bet Zach'll be there,” Ginger said. She turned and saw me staring at them. “Won't he, Lizard?”

“I don't know,” I said. I couldn't imagine Zach going to a dumb school dance, but then he'd been acting weird lately, so I didn't know for sure.

I gently pushed my way out of the clump and walked to my locker. My stomach had suddenly gotten sour.

“So you think Ed will tell Zach about my great catch and how I won the game?”

I turned around to see Lisa gazing at me.

“You asking me?”

“Of course I'm asking you. You think Ed'll tell him?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I bet Ed tells him about your winning the game,” Ginger said, coming up behind Lisa. “He was impressed.
Major
impressed.”

“Girls!” Ms. Puff hollered. She stood next to the shower room holding a clipboard. “Come over here, will you?”

We walked over to her. “All of you are required to take showers after class. I'll check you off as you walk by. If you're having your period, you don't have to shower.”

The locker room was suddenly silent as a tomb. I glanced away from Ms. Puff.

She had just come right out and said it.
If you're having your period
—

I looked at the faces around me. Everybody was looking at everybody else. I saw a lot of embarrassed smiles.

I wouldn't start my period for a long time. I was sure of it. Didn't that happen to girls much older? I didn't even want to think about it.

“If you're not showering,” Ms. Puff was saying, “just say, ‘O.B.' That means you're observing.” Then she laughed and said, “Be sure not to say ‘B.O.'!” She laughed louder now.

“B.O.?” said Sara. “What's that?”

Ginger leaned over to her. “Body odor,” she whispered.

Sara giggled nervously and rolled her eyes.

“The rest of you, get undressed,” Ms. Puff ordered. “Come on, people. Let's go!”

I didn't move.

I
didn't want to take my clothes off!

I'd already seen everybody in their underwear. That was bad enough, everyone sort of checking everybody else out, who needed bras and who didn't.

But now everyone would really be able to see
everything
and—well, you know—kind of—
compare.

We walked back to our lockers and slowly started to undress. I looked at the floor so I wouldn't look at anyone. I hoped everyone else was doing the same.

I didn't want to be the first person without clothes, though, so I peeked up a little so I'd end up naked about the same time everyone else did.