The Mimosa Tree (22 page)

‘I don't expect perfect. Maybe we're all just too different. Maybe it's too much to expect everyone to get along anywhere other than in the movies.' And I look at her, half hoping I might get a smile out of her, but in the darkness she just looks sad and confused.

‘Maybe it's too much for you,' she says. ‘But it's never been too much for me.'

We pull into my driveway. It's quite early but the house is already dark which means Mum and Dad have gone to bed. In better days, Mum would still be up and waiting for me, no matter what time, ready with a coffee and some cake and hungry ears waiting to absorb every detail of my night. Perhaps it's a good thing she isn't waiting for me tonight. I open the door, then look back at Felicia, trying to find the right words to say to her, the ones that will make everything better, but my head has turned to mush and I am unsure as to whether I even
deserve to have her like me again.

‘Have I messed things up between you and Guido?'

‘I don't think he's going to judge me because of what you did,' she says with firmness I am not used to hearing. ‘But I think it might take him a while to want to see you again.'

‘And you?'

‘We'll talk more tomorrow, okay?' she says shifting gears and getting ready to reverse. She gives me a quick smile, but I can see tears welling in her eyes and they make me feel incredibly stupid and ashamed.

I step out of the car and wait on the driveway for her to leave. She doesn't beep or wave, she just drives off without looking back. I turn to the house, take a deep breath of cool night air and go inside. I tiptoe as quietly as I can to my room, avoiding all the known creaking floorboards and feeling around in the dark so that I won't wake anyone up. In bed I hold onto my head, which is causing me pain but not nearly as much as the awful feeling that I have ruined things with Felicia. How could I be so flippant about our friendship? What is wrong with me? Then there are the images that keep flashing back, of me on the floor, of me spitting breadcrumbs and spilling wine. Of me shouting and crying about nuclear holocaust and of Felicia looking confused and sad. Against this harsh world of regret and nausea, the blackness of sleep is appealing and, like a true coward, I let go and release myself to its dreamless shelter.

It's cold and it's been raining, but I am outside in the garden because Sera and Marco have spent the morning demonstrating that a house can be demolished faster than it can be cleaned. In an attempt to get things done quicker, Via has kicked us all outside and out of her way. It's not such a bad deal. The sun has emerged from behind a cloud and the garden birds are leaping and swooping into the grass to catch insects unsettled by the rain. From inside the house I hear the low buzzing of the vacuum cleaner, and the clanging of furniture as Via conducts her weekly attack on our floors with her usual ungainliness and ferocity. Above me, Marco and Sera are climbing high into the branches of the mimosa tree, showering me in yellow flowers. I look up. Surely, if there were a god somewhere in my house, he would be hanging out up there, in the fluffy golden branches of our mimosa tree in full bloom.

‘I can see your mum,' says Marco, peering through the branches into my mother's room.

‘What is she doing?'

‘Laughing,' he says, and then he smiles and waves and I
assume she has seen him too and is doing the same.

‘My shoe is stuck,' says Sera, and her mouth begins to quiver.

‘Hang on,' I say, pulling myself up into the tree.

Unlike Sera and Marco, my weight bends and shakes the branches violently and everyone screams as they get showered in flowers and cold water. I laugh and climb quickly to where Sera is still holding on tight and looking like she might start to sob any minute.

‘There you go,' I say as I manoeuvre her foot back and up from a tight angle. She thanks me then grips tightly to a branch as she waves to my mother.

I look inside and see Mum smiling and waving at us from her wheelchair. Via enters the room with the vacuum cleaner, head down and staring at the floor like she wants it to feel threatened as well as clean, until Mum's laughing and gesturing alerts her to where we are. She drops her vacuum cleaner and walks directly to the window, her body getting larger and larger until it fills the window frame.

She slides open the window.

‘MIRA,' she shouts even though I am only a couple of metres from her. ‘I ASKED YOU TO LOOK AFTER THEM NOT KILL THEM. GET MY GRANDCHILDREN OUT OF THAT TREE RIGHT NOW.'

‘Fine,' I say. ‘Come on, out of the tree.'

Sera starts climbing down quickly, keen to avoid Nonna Via's wrath, but Marco is defiant and starts to climb higher so I have to scramble after him. I manage to grab his foot.

‘Let go, I'm going to fall,' he says trying to kick me away.

‘That's all right,' I say. ‘Just means you'll get down faster.' I grip his ankle tightly and begin to pull.

‘Stop it, Mira!' he shouts, starting to look worried.

‘You coming down?'

‘Yes! Yes!' I let go and he climbs quickly down past me and out of the tree.

‘POSTMAN!' shouts Sera skipping towards the letterbox. The postman waits for her and hands her the mail instead of dropping it into the box. She runs back to me, beaming with pride, and pushes an envelope into my hand.

‘Oh God,' I say looking up into the mimosa tree. ‘I think it's my exam results.'

‘What's a
sam-rissole?
' says Sera.

‘It's like a scary monster in an envelope,' I say, and Marco, overhearing something about monsters, begins to howl and oooo like a ghost. Sera screams with delight and runs away with Marco hot on her tail.

I sit down under the tree, stare at the envelope, wondering if I should open it or just throw it away. Yellow flowers fall across the bright white envelope. Taking this as a good sign from my mimosa god, I wipe them away and open it.

‘Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass,' I say out loud, running my finger down the list and I get all the way to the bottom before I am presented with my first and only ‘Fail'.

Ecstatic, I run inside and straight into my mother's room where Via is helping Mum get dressed. ‘I passed!' I shout, shoving the letter into Mum's hands. I wait as she runs her fingers down the list of subjects just as I did, and when she's done she tries to leap up but can't because of the pain. She has finished her radiation treatments, but her back is not getting better. In fact, it seems to be getting worse, and on top of that
she says her neck is hurting now too. I put my hands on her shoulders to let her know she should stay seated, and I kneel on the floor at her feet and put my head in her lap.

She hugs me tightly around the head. ‘Oh, Mira!' she says. ‘I'm so proud of you.'

In the meantime, Via gets hold of my results. ‘What's this one you failed?' she says.

‘
Observation and Perception.
It's only one class.'

‘Is that bad?' says Mum looking worried.

‘It's no big deal,' I say patting her hand reassuringly. ‘I can take it again next year.' Then I give Via the evil eye for ruining what should have been my moment in the sun.

‘We're going to be late,' says Via hurrying to get Mum's shoes on. ‘Where is Siena? She said she was coming at nine. It's already
eight thirty.
'

‘I'm sure she will be here,' says Mum, but she looks nervously at the clock. I take a seat on the bed and do a bit of bouncing.

‘I want to come too,' I say.

‘What for?' says Mum. ‘To sit in the waiting room and read those magazines you've read a thousand times? Go out and see a movie or something with your friends. You deserve to have a bit of fun after you've worked so hard.'

‘I want to hang with you,' I say to Mum and I mean it but there is also the fact that I don't exactly have anyone else to hang with. Lately, Felicia seems more interested in spending time with Guido than with me. She's trying to tell me it's because he's going to Sydney soon, and she wants to spend as much time with him as she can before he leaves, but I can't help feeling that there is more to her avoidance of me than
just her dumb love affair. I think she hasn't forgiven me for being such an idiot at dinner. Whatever reason she's got for avoiding me, I am not humiliating myself by calling her just to be rejected again.

‘MOTHER OF GOD!' shouts Via as Marco and Sera come running into the room, screaming and trailing mimosa flowers and sand across Via's just cleaned carpet. ‘I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH.'

She tries to grab them, but they slip easily out of her reach. Marco leaps up on the bed, shoes and all, and hides behind me for protection. Sera cowers behind Mum, as though Via won't be able to see her hiding behind the wheelchair.

‘Morning!' says Siena, sweeping into the room smelling like a bakery. ‘Would anyone like some breakfast?' Smiling, she holds up paper bags full of goodies and I am shocked to see that she has what looks like a half eaten jam donut in her hand and the telltale signs of icing sugar around her lips.

‘Don't those things have a lot of calories?' I say, and Mum manages to kick her leg out and hit me right on the shinbone. She gives me a shut-the-hell-up look, but I'm not sure it's necessary as Siena seems to be completely absorbed in her own thoughts this morning, not to mention that jam donut.

‘I think I was fifteen the last time I had one of these,' she says, holding the donut up to admire its glistening sugary form. ‘I can't believe how good it tastes. Try some,' she says, pushing it towards Via who Siena her like she wants to turn her into a pillar of salt.

‘Get a bloody plate and stop dropping crumbs all over the floor. What is
wrong
with you people?' Then she snatches the
paper bag and examines its contents as she takes it to the kitchen.

With the promise of sugary treats dimming the memory of Via's threats, Marco and Sera run eagerly after their Nonna, giggling and pleading their case for first choice at the bag.

‘Where were you last night?' says Via as she arranges Siena's pastries on a plate. We sit at the table, our mouths salivating in anticipation, but Via takes her time, as though each pastry must be placed just right before we are able to enjoy them.

‘You got my note, didn't you?' says Siena as she flicks through the paper. Easy for her to be so casual about it, she's already had a jam donut. ‘I had a business meeting with Alistair. It went really well. I think we've agreed on a location for our restaurant.'

‘Was Robert there too?' says Via carrying the plate over to us. She stands at the table, plate in hand as she waits for Siena's answer. Sera and Marco begin wriggling in their seats, already arguing about which one they are going to take if Via ever puts that damn plate down.

‘Robert's a silent investor, Via. He trusts that Alistair and I will make the right decisions about how to do things.' She stands up and takes the plate from Via's hands, begins to hand it around the table to a chorus of relief.

‘I didn't hear you come home,' says Via, still eyeing Siena suspiciously. ‘And I didn't hear you leave this morning. When I got up your car was already gone.'

‘Actually,' says Siena, grinning as she slides a custard tart from the plate. ‘I didn't come home last night.' And I think I can actually hear the difference in the room now that Mum
and Via's hearts have stopped beating.

‘You spent the night alone with a
man?
' says Via.

‘But you have a
husband,
' hisses Mum looking around like Robert might be lurking somewhere and listening to this. Could he be eavesdropping with God from the ceiling?

‘Ex-husband, Sofia. You know that.'

‘You are still
married,
' says Via. ‘It is still against God to stay with another man if you are married.' She makes the sign of the cross.

‘Relax,' says Siena speaking with a mouth full of yellow custard. ‘It's not what you think anyway. Alistair and I had a lot of details to finalise and it got late so I just slept on the couch. It was business.'

‘You want me to believe you spent the night alone with some man and nothing happened?'

‘First of all, his name is Alistair, and he's not
some man,
he's my business partner. And actually, he is also my friend.'

I snort when I hear the word friend, and a sultana is propelled up my nose. ‘Friend as in relax-and-see-what-happens friend?' I say.

‘Friend as in we-get-along-well-but-we-are -about-to-go-into-business-together friend and won't-ruin-things-by-being-anything -other-than-just-friends friend,' says Siena.

Mum and Via look confused but I just grin and thank God for my aunt Siena who is the only person here that ever makes any sense to me.

‘You two are as crazy as each other,' says Via wiping crumbs from the table into her hand. ‘Hurry up and get out of here before you're late for Sofia's appointment.'

Siena checks her watch and jumps up quickly. ‘You're right,' she says brushing crumbs from her skirt. ‘I'm going to have to drop you off and run. I have an appointment at the bank just around the corner.'

‘You're not
staying?
' says Via.

‘I won't be long. I just have some business to take care of then I'll go straight back.' She puts a hand on Mum's shoulder. ‘You won't even know I'm gone.'

Via begins to clear our plates, stacking them hard on top of each other, crushing half eaten pastries so that they bleed custard and cream like they are wounded. Nobody is stupid enough to complain that they haven't actually finished eating. Sensing that the tide of Nonna's mood has shifted for the worse again, Marco and Sera run off quickly to find a safer place to play.

‘I don't understand why you are so angry, Via,' says Siena. ‘I'm doing what you want me to do.'

Via drops her stack of plates back on the table. ‘You are doing what
you
want to do. That's how it has always been and nothing has changed.'

‘That's not fair. There is no reason I can't look after my needs as well as Sofia's. Everything is getting done, that's the important thing.'

‘You think she is going to the
hairdresser?
' says Via. ‘You do understand that Sofia is being treated for...' But she trails off without mentioning the ‘c' word.

‘I understand exactly what is happening here. You know as well as I do that these scans can take hours, and I'm going to be gone half an hour, one hour at the most. I will be with her
when we arrive and with her when she is ready to come home.'

‘So typical of you,' spits Via. ‘First you cry and want your family because everything in your life is going wrong, then as soon as your luck changes you forget all about us and go back to your interesting life. You have no
loyalty.
'

‘Where are you going, Mum?' I say as she starts to push herself away from the table. She's only had the chair for a week and still hasn't worked out how to get around in it so all she manages to do is make herself go red in the face and turn the chair in a circle because she still has one of the brakes on.

‘I am a
burden,
' she says, still pushing but going nowhere as her wheel gets caught on a chair leg. ‘I'm going to call a taxi.'

‘You will
not
catch a taxi,' says Via, standing up and looking at her threateningly, as though
she's
the one that's done something wrong.

‘Listen,' I say, standing up and stepping between Mum and Via. ‘I'm going with Mum, remember? I will be with her until Siena gets back. This really isn't a big deal.'

‘Thanks, Mira,' says Siena giving Via a satisfied nod.

‘You would leave a
child
to look after her?'

‘I'm not a child. I am her daughter.'

Siena picks up her bag and begins to push Mum and me towards the door. ‘We don't have time to argue this, let's just go,' she says. ‘This might not be how you do things, Via, but it will work just the same.'

And with that we are out the door and wheeling Mum down the driveway towards the Land Cruiser.