The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) (88 page)

No, no, no!

How is this possible? How did he get here?

He looked down at his clothes and something tickled his memory. Camouflage pants, combat boots…He’d been...working? That seemed correct but he couldn’t take the memory further.

There was nothing else to see.

While he struggled, Aisling watched and came to a decision. Coming over to him, she said, “If you are Primani, you’re more or less immortal. You’ll be stuck here forever so you might as well get used to the idea. You can share my cabin for now as long as you don’t try anything. Once you’re stronger, you can do what you want. Come on, I’ll show you around.”

She had a small compound all to herself. She explained that she had built everything by herself and it had taken years to do it. The small cabin was accompanied by a storage shed, a chicken coop of sorts, and a crude spring house. The cabin was one big room with a sleeping area and a main living area. Everything was made from wood, stone or woven from grass.

“How did you manage to cut the wood?” Sean asked her.

She slipped and smiled before smothering it under a scowl. “I actually found some ancient tools in a cave. Nothing fancy, but there were some arrowheads and flint. I used the flint to cut the smaller branches. It took forever. But I had nothing else to do…”

“How long have you been here?”

“I don’t know exactly. But I think maybe 100 years. When your memory comes back, you can tell me what year it is.”

Stunned, he gaped at her. “You don’t look any older than 20. How is that possible?”

She laughed at him and narrowed her eyes. “You really don’t remember what you are, do you?”

“Why don’t you tell me?” His tone was light but there was an underlying edge of steel to it.

Aisling hesitated but plunged ahead. “Primani are warriors powered by the blood of angels. They don’t age. I saw you come here…in streams of light…like a backwards shooting star. It took weeks…You reformed yourself where I found you.”

“How do you know that?”

Shrugging, she said, “I’m Primani.”

After the first few days, Sean’s blurry memory gradually cleared and he remembered his name. They celebrated by sitting outside and watching the stars. The next day, he remembered he was Primani and realized he had no powers. He tried to teleport but couldn’t move an inch. One by one, he tested his powers and one by one, they failed him. That night they sat by the fire and Sean’s heart stopped as he watched Aisling braid her long brown hair. Her slender fingers winked in and out of the heavy curls as she deftly wound the pieces together. The movement was so familiar…she noticed the intensity of his stare and dropped her hand to her throat. The fire lit her skin, reflected in her blue eyes…

“Mica…” The word ripped through his mind like an avalanche, unleashing wave after wave of memories.

Mica! Oh, God, where was she?

He stared at Aisling like a wounded animal; trapped, cornered, panicked.

“Take it easy, Sean,” she whispered, backing up as his face twisted in grief and he flung himself out of the cabin.

He was gone for days that time. He wandered the land searching for a way out. He walked until his feet were torn and then he sat and brooded. When his feet healed, he got up and walked again. Making a series of radial trails, he covered every direction within a hundred miles of the cabin. Not once did he see another human. At night he slept on the ground and stared at the endless sky wondering what he’d done to deserve this purgatory.

Why had he been sent here? Why couldn’t he leave?

Was anyone looking for him? Where was Mica? Killian? Dec?

Desperate to be heard, he prayed on his knees until they were raw and bloody. And still no one answered him.

Where were the angels now?

He was forsaken.

Bowing his head one night, he thought of Mica and let the tears run down his face. There was no one to see him fall apart; no one to hear him howl with pain. He would never see her again and his heart broke into tiny pieces. He couldn’t bear to think of her alone and afraid for him. Grieving, crying, heart breaking each day he stayed away. She’d think he was dead. She’d be devastated. Was anyone helping her? Where was Killian now? He’d sworn to protect her, but did he survive the explosion or was he in limbo too?

Growing more despondent every day, he kept walking, kept praying, and kept Mica in his mind. It made him crazy to know he’d never see her again. Never hold her again or watch her smile in her sleep. How was that even possible? At first he couldn’t imagine it. But as the days blurred together and he lost track of time, he realized it was true. 

He was never leaving this place.

That night, he threw himself off a cliff only to land in a pond. After dragging himself back to the bank, he hung his head and gave up. He sat on that bank for days until he finally decided to find Aisling again.

“You’re back,” she observed from the doorway. “You look like hell. Have you finally given up?”

Sean felt the thick hair on his jaw and sighed. He probably did look like hell. He looked into Aisling’s cool eyes and realized she was being kind enough letting him stay here. The least he could do was wash up and act civilized. Taking off for the creek, he stripped out of his clothes and washed them on a rock. Laying them in the sun, he sat naked in the water and let the current wash away the grime. Using the edge of his knife, he scraped the hair off his face. When he was done, he sprawled on his stomach across a boulder and let the sun dry his skin.

He closed his eyes and brought Mica’s beautiful face to his mind. He had a million favorite memories, but for this moment, he wanted, no
needed
, to remember her as she looked the last time he saw her. With her back pressed against the tree, she moved feverishly against him in the pouring rain. Desperate to touch her, he molded his body against her and plundered her mouth with his own, tasting her and the sweet rain running between them. Her skin nearly burned his hands as he held her face between his palms, kissing her hard enough to bruise her lips. With her eyes closed against the rush of water, she’d burned for him and he’d wanted to rip her clothes off and make love to her, claim her, one last time before leaving her forever.

He’d known he would die.

He’d known it for months before it happened.

He’d felt the time slipping through his hands like sand in an hourglass. He’d had dream after dream…And now he wished he’d made love to her one more time. His Mica…How would he live without her now? How
could
he? There was no way to live without her. Not really. He would
survive
, but not really live. How could he when she was his other half? He wasn’t whole without her. He was a shell.

Pulling her face to his mind again, he lovingly traced the lines of her jaw and kissed her goodbye one last time.

“I will always love you. Be well.” He hoped she’d somehow hear him.

He didn’t know how long he sat on that rock, but eventually he felt someone staring at him. Aisling stood on the shore with unreadable eyes. He stood and put his wet pants back on.

That night, he’d slept on the cabin floor. She didn’t invite him to her bed and he didn’t want to be there. More days passed and slowly they got to know each other. Aisling was reserved but kind. She knew about Mica. He told her his story just as she’d told him hers. Both had lost people they loved. Aisling tried to reassure him that after 20 years he would get over it. The words sunk like nails into his skin and he changed the subject. The only way he kept his sanity was by throwing himself into work. He hunted and fished. He made arrows and dug a well. He exercised and pushed his body to its limits. He worked each day until he was exhausted enough to sleep without nightmares.

During what seemed to be summer, the nightmares had gotten worse and he’d woken up yelling Mica’s name every night for a week. Aisling never commented but looked at him with sad eyes. Once, she knelt beside him and shook him awake, but he only moaned and turned his back on her.

It was dark when he came in from the forest. He’d gone to check their traps and brought back two rabbits. After washing up, he came through the door expecting Aisling to be cooking dinner. He stopped inside the doorway and dropped the dead rabbits in a pile. Moving slowly, awkwardly, she turned to him, a pretty blush spreading over her face. Normally she wore the ragged remains of an old red dress, but tonight she waited in a white silk slip that clung to her lithe body like skin. The fire cast its orange light across the shimmering fabric making it writhe with flame.

Swallowing hard, he stepped back and said, “What’s this?”

She smiled uncertainly at his tone. Nervously smoothing the silk, she said, “I had this on under my dress when I was scattered. It’s too delicate to wear all the time, but I thought it would be nice to put it on. It’s soft…” She looked away, blushing furiously now. Tears glittered in her eyes and she bit down on her lower lip.

Frozen in place, Sean counted to ten and tried to ignore the tightening in his gut. She looked away from him, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from her. The white silk clung to her delicate breasts dipping low to reveal the cleavage between them. Her fingers fidgeted with the hem drawing his attention to her thighs. His body reacted sharply and he tried to count to ten again.

He didn’t want this. Not from her. His mind screamed no, but his body hardened with need. He should leave. He should run but he stood frozen, staring…torn.

She turned her face towards his and tears ran down her cheek. The ice cracked. With two steps he was at her side, his hands tangled in her hair and mouth slanted over hers. With a small cry, she arched against him wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands fisted in the silk at her hips, and he slowly slid the fabric up to her waist. She was bare and taut under his hands. Aisling tugged him to the bed and smiled shyly up at him when he followed her to the mattress.

As the sky lightened to pearly pink, Sean lay on his back with Aisling curled at his side. She was sound asleep as he stared at the ceiling and asked Mica’s forgiveness.

“I’m sorry, love. I needed her. I guess we needed each other. I miss you,” he whispered into the dark.

Trembling with emotion, tears rolling down my face, I slowly pulled my mind away from Sean. We could stop now. We’d found the hidden memories. They ended with that day. We’d brought Sean back that same day. Aisling would’ve woken up alone; scared, confused, and alone.

My God, what have we done?

Sean’s face was white.

He scrubbed a hand over his eyes and said, “How could I have forgotten her? What kind of animal am I? She’s all alone there!” He started to jump up when Killian stopped him.

“We’ll find her. I promise.”

“I’m so sorry, Sean. I had no idea,” I said through fresh tears.

He pressed me against his chest and rubbed my back like he’d done a million times before. “Well, at least I can understand what happened between you two. I guess you felt the same way.”

Killian squeezed his shoulder and said, “I tried to tell you last year but you wouldn’t listen. Mica was a shadow…It was killing me to watch her shut down, close herself off, day after day. I just wanted her to smile again. I think you can understand that now.”

Giving me a final pat on the back, Sean set me away from him and stood up. “This blows. We’ve got to figure this out. I can’t live here knowing she’s stuck there for eternity. What can we do?”

The sun beat down on Central Park and I turned my face to enjoy its warmth. Fall was here with a vengeance today. Even though it was still early in September, a cold front swept down from Canada last night and it was chilly. After this morning’s intervention with Sean, we decided to regroup and make some plans. I should say,
Killian
decided to regroup and make some plans. I wasn’t privy to everything so I was currently sulking on a park bench with my iPod stuck in my ear. Killian grinned at me from the other end of the bench and smacked my leg for emphasis.

“You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”

Pointing to my headphones, I shook my head and ignored him. Before I could react, he leaned across me and pulled my ear bud out. I started to protest but he put his finger over my lips and frowned down at me.

“When do we have make up sex?”

“Never! We’re not having sex ever again.” I crossed my arms and scowled.

Instead of actually believing me, he leaned closer until his mouth brushed my ear. “Really? Never is a very long time.” His voice was husky and sexy and I forced myself not to smile. He added, “Why would you punish yourself like that?”

Melting into a puddle was out of the question. Instead, I purred, “Tell me your plans and we’ll make up right now.”

Stiffening slightly, he sat back and frowned again. “Babe, I’ve told you everything you need to know. You know how this works. Need to know? Remember?”

“Why don’t I have a need to know this time? What’s the big secret? Where is Sean?” Sean had taken off as soon as they’d finished making plans.

“Sean’s gone to tie up some loose ends before we start looking for Aisling. He’ll be back here in a few days. Then we’ll be able to get moving again.”