The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) (60 page)

“Invisible? It was you, wasn’t it? You hit Sean, didn’t you?” I asked for Sean’s benefit.

“Oh, you should’ve seen the look on his face! Priceless! Invisibility is oh so helpful.” He looked around and shouted, “I know you’re there. You might as well show yourselves. You’re not going to attack me while I have a blade against her gut.”

Slowly, Sean rematerialized on our right. Killian and Dec appeared on the left. The three of them were in full soldier-mode. Sean would rip James in half and not think twice about it. It was reassuring. They fanned out to circle us but kept a distance when James drew blood and I winced.

Sean called to me, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, sure. I’ll heal. No worries,” I called back.

“Get the fuck off her, James! Your fight’s with me. Leave her alone!”

He made an angry move towards us and James thrust the blade against me causing me to jump in alarm. Sean hesitated and glanced meaningfully at Dec who nodded and palmed his own blade. Dec’s face was a thundercloud; his eyes drilled into mine pleading for permission to move in.

Confident in his own power, James ignored Dec and Sean. “Being invisible is great for people watching especially when they’re doing things they shouldn’t be.”  His voice lowered to a conspiring whisper and he glanced triumphantly at Killian.

My chest tightened into a knot and my heart began to pound.

I had a bad feeling about this…

He felt it and raised an eyebrow at me. “Sean, since I’m killing her anyway, I want you to know that it’s really your fault. If you’d have kept your hands off her, she wouldn’t be in this situation now. You didn’t even miss her while you were
away,
did you?” He stroked my cheek again and his voice took on a sing-song tone. “Though, to be honest, she didn’t miss you. She can’t seem to stay off her back with any of you three.”

Shocked, I lurched up to protest and the blade slid deep into my side. Clutching at the haft of the blade, I gasped, “What? I never slept with…them.
Only
Sean!” I held my breath as I pulled the knife out and the pain reached my brain.

Killian lunged at James and James whipped the blade to my throat and just the tiniest pressure sent fresh blood streaming down my neck. Killian froze and fumed, “Let her go! You have enough blood on your hands. As it is, Michael’s going to banish you. Don’t make us kill you.”

James chuckled and gloated, “I’m not worried about that. You won’t get your hands on me as much as you’re dying to.” 

His eyes swiveled to Killian’s face and hardened to yellow glass. “Your control
is
impressive, but not limitless, eh? How long did it last once she was free? One month? Four? Six?  How long until you had her in your bed?”

“What? Shut up, James! You’re lying!” Looking wildly at Killian, I cried, “Shut him up!” I struggled to get up and James laughed at my attempts to throw him off.

Sean’s face drained to white with twin spots of angry red blazing from his cheekbones. He glared murderously at Killian and then me. Killian looked like he wanted to die, his face a mask of misery and anger. Dec bounced from side to side trying not to throw himself onto James and rip his head off.

“It’s not true! Sean, believe me, I didn’t sleep with Killian!” I had tears running down my face now. “He’s evil! Don’t listen to him!”

The betrayal on his face was breaking my heart into tiny little chips of ice.

Embracing his own form of twisted self-righteousness, James sneered, “No, you only
slept
when you were too exhausted to go another round. Your denials are so sincere; could it be you don’t remember?”

As if pondering a great mystery, he pretended to think deeply. “Now how is it you wouldn’t remember the
tender
loving of the most powerful warrior priest ever born? Surely you remember your screams as they echoed off the sides of mountains? I know I do--so delicious! I believe there was a tree once. Those memories helped me pass many lonely nights with great entertainment. Oh, and what about the time during the storm? Seems to me, you rather enjoyed the rush of the rain and the lightning crashing around you--”

“Shut up! That didn’t happen! Why are you lying?” I was screaming over him, but his voice was supernaturally loud and echoed around us.

Killian! Tell him it’s not true!

Silence.

Killian! Please!

I can’t.

My face blanched even more as understanding began to dawn. I closed my eyes against the wave of misery that washed over me. Oh, God. It was true?

How could this be true?

Sean would never forgive us.

Cruelly, James grilled me further. “It didn’t happen? Let’s ask loyal buddy Declan what he remembers. He lived with both of you. Dec, didn’t these two have something going on when Sean was out betraying Mica?”

Dec snapped indignantly, “Sean never betrayed Mica!”

“Ah, but did Mica betray Sean?” James purred.

Dec’s face crumbled when he met Sean’s furious glare. “Nobody betrayed you! We thought you were dead. They were both devastated and…it just happened. We never stopped looking for you though and we brought you back as soon as we found you. Then it was over.”

“Did you ever wonder why it took a year to find Sean? It was because he didn’t want to be found. Ask him sometime. It’s a great story.”

“I’m not stupid, James. I know Mica and Killian were close while I was gone. They don’t lie very well. But it’s over,” Sean ground out between his teeth.

His furious eyes bored into mine, and he passed the blade from one hand to the other. There was no forgiveness in his expression. My heart sank.

I tried to get up but James pushed me back down and snapped at me, “I’m not done! Are you in a hurry to be dead?”

Clearly enjoying ruining our lives, he shifted his focus back to Sean and kept taunting him. He was going to make the most out of his moment in the spotlight before he killed me and vanished. “So you think it’s over? An attraction that strong doesn’t go away overnight. Look at them now--they can’t stop looking at each other. In all fairness, Sean, he did try to be noble. Let’s ask Killian about Eden. I’m sure
he
remembers it all. Don’t you?” He shifted and adopted a sentimental tone.

”It’s really quite romantic, isn’t it? Didn’t she cry when you made love to her for the last time? You told her it had to be that way because you didn’t want to hurt Sean. You said her destiny was with Sean and not you. That was very noble of you. But how did she respond? She cried as if her heart was broken. And you kissed away her tears, didn’t you? So sweet, you must really love her to let her go. And when she told you she loved you, you did what?”

He spoke to Killian, but his eyes were glued to Sean’s face.

“No, no! It can’t be true! Killian, please! Tell him it’s not true!” I was crying hysterically now, unable to even form words through my sobs.

I had no memories…no memories of any of this.

Why would James keep lying?

Killian was frozen like a statue, his face a mask of guilty misery that matched Dec’s. Sean and I both stared at Killian.

Squaring his shoulders, he said bluntly, “I erased her memory.”

My heart stopped and I quit breathing. “You what?”

James shouted in victory, “Louder! Say it louder! We all need to hear how the love triangle ends.”

Like a man facing a firing squad, Killian sighed with resignation. “I erased her memory so she would never remember that she…cared for me that way. Her place is with Sean, not me. I did it to protect her, and I won’t apologize for it.” He turned to Sean and nearly pleaded. “I won’t lie to you. I took care of her while you were gone and somehow, I fell in love with her. But I never intended to replace you. Once you came back, it was over for both of us. It was always you she wanted, but she settled for me.”

Small black spots danced in front of my eyes and my head spun alarmingly. Probably I was bleeding a lot, but I didn’t care right then. I was too stunned to think about it, and if I died, it didn’t matter anyway. I didn’t remember anything that James said. No memories…nothing. A year of my life was gone…stolen.

What the hell was Killian thinking?

Who was he to decide to erase my memories? We could’ve just moved on and pretended it never happened. But now thanks to James’ little game, Sean will never forgive us and will probably leave me as soon as he can go. Killian and Dec will go too. They have work…purpose.

I’ll be alone to pick up the pieces that’ll never fit together again.

And Dani? Sweet, innocent Dani…his brood mare?

Evil, disgusting demon!

Why did I feel sorry for him? Killian was right; he was damned. There was no hole deep enough, no pit black enough for his rancid soul!

A phosphorus rage settled in my heart and I gathered the power quietly while he and Sean taunted each other. James continued to gloat over how Sean didn’t really have me either. He was replaced by Killian! Oh, how did that feel? He needled and Sean was about to explode. He paced like a panther waiting for an opening.

When Sean slipped around opposite us, I saw my chance. With one furious burst of power, I threw James straight towards Sean. Sean reacted with lightning speed and whipped up the shining silver blade. The blade slid cleanly between James’ bones and severed his spinal cord when he collided with Sean. He collapsed on top of Sean with an expression of surprise. Dumping him to the ground, Sean gutted him from pelvis to sternum.

James’ eyes went black and his body slowly started to smoke.

SNOW FELL ON MY CLOSED EYELIDS and slid in icy rivulets down my cheeks. I lay perfectly still and gathered my
saol
to the deep gash in my side. The tissue knit back together as I healed myself. The tiny cuts on my neck and chest could wait. Hell, they weren’t going to kill me, so they could just freaking bleed for all I cared. Once the bleeding stopped, I got to my knees and inhaled a steadying breath.

The wind still howled with the fury of the storm and snow flew like a hail. Trees bent against the gusts and I braced myself. Using one hand to shield my eyes, I rapidly searched for Domino, ignoring the stony glare from Sean. I carefully avoided looking for Killian. That wound wouldn’t heal any time soon. Searching with my mind instead of my eyes, I found Domino lying under a bush. She was conscious but didn’t want to get up. She shook her head and cried in pain. James must’ve kicked her. Yet another good reason for him to roast in Hell! I picked her up in my arms and stumbled back to the house.

Just once, I was making a dignified exit.

Back at the house, I healed her quickly and put her into my own car. I clamped off the screaming in my mind and the tears threatening to clog my throat.

Not now, not now.

There’s no time for losing it.

I drove as fast as I could through the blizzard. My tires slid all over the road, and I nearly ended up in the trees a few times. Luck was the only thing keeping me on the road. It was still early and Dani’s lights were on. It was hard to believe my entire life was just ruined in the course of about 15 minutes. Well, now Dani’s world was about to crumble, and I got to deliver the shitty news.

Dani’s mother opened the door at the sound of my pounding. Relief lit her face until she saw my bloody clothes.  “Oh, my God! Sweetie, you’re hurt! Come inside quickly!” She hustled me and Domino into the living room and closed the door with a determined slam of the deadbolt.

“What happened to you?” she demanded. ”Did you wreck your car?”

“I don’t have time to explain. Where’s Dani? I have to see her right now!”

Her face wilted. “She’s gone. I hoped she was with you…”

Oh, Jesus! My hands shook as I tried to stay calm. My blood heated and the room faded to white around the edges. Gripping her hands too tightly, I asked, “Is she pregnant?”

Tears slid out of the corners of her eyes and she sank heavily to the couch. “We argued…just today. She tried to keep it from me, but I heard her throwing up this morning. She’s…not herself.” Dragging me into her arms, she clung for dear life. “Mica, what’s happened to my baby?”

In no mood to protect any secrets, I told her the truth. “James is a demon, or was. He’s dead and back in Hell where his evil rotten pathetic excuse for a soul can burn for eternity.”

Stunned, she blinked at me and sat back. “He’s a demon? And Dani’s pregnant…” Her eyes rolled back in her head as she slipped into a faint.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for this,” I whispered to her and slipped out the door.

"Where is she?" I asked the dog riding shotgun. She shrugged and looked out the window. I slid the car into the 7-11 parking lot and dialed Dani’s cell phone. No answer. I left a message and hung up. Tapping my fingers anxiously on the wheel, I racked my brain for places she’d go. That she didn’t come to me for help screamed warnings inside my head. The old Dani wouldn’t have hesitated. This was James’ doing. Just for a second, I let the rage take over and surge through me like a flood. With eyes closed to hide the blazing light, I let myself wallow in the hatred I felt for James and smiled at the memory of his destruction…just for a moment.

Okay, enough of that. The clock is ticking. Shoving the anger into a box inside my head, I focused on finding Dani again. I thought she might be at James’ place, but I didn’t know where that was. Ugh. I was going to have to go back to the farmhouse and ask Dec. I so didn’t want to see any of them right now. But Dani’s life was more important than my pride. Gritting my teeth, I headed to the house.

The walk from the driveway to the front door usually takes about 20 seconds. Tonight it took me several minutes as I stopped and started a few times before I boldly opened the front door and let myself into the empty hallway. My neck ached with tension as I made my way through the house. As I drifted past the kitchen doorway, Dec called my name and I slowed. I wasn’t ready to see him yet.

He walked into the hall and faced me with a grim expression. I stared at him, silent.

I had nothing to say.

“Please don’t look at me that way! You’re breaking my heart.” His voice was anguished and he looked like he wanted to cry. “I’m so sorry!”

“You knew?” I accused with angry tears in my eyes. He flushed guiltily and lowered his eyes.

“How could you do that to me, Dec? I trusted you! More than anybody in my life, I trusted you!”

Grasping my arm, he pleaded with me, eyes huge in his face, “Please understand! I did it for you!”

The sound of my palm cracking against his cheek echoed throughout the silent house. White faced, I yelled, “I’m sick of hearing that lame-ass excuse! You did it for your brothers! You left
me
hanging out to dry. And after all we’ve been through, how could you?”

Stung, he tried one more time. “I deserved that. Let me explain--”

I held up my hand to stop him. “Are there any other dirty little skeletons in my closet?” I rounded on him again. “Did I sleep with you too?”

“What? No, I swear! It was never like that between us. You’re like a sister to me.” He stepped closer with his hand stretched out in a gesture of peace. “Don’t be like this.”

“If you touch me again, I’ll blow your hand off. Get away from me, Dec.” I turned and left him standing there.

Shaking with fury and disappointment, I headed straight to our bedroom. I knew he was there and I couldn’t put this off any longer. He deserved some kind of explanation…though I had no idea what I could say. Without any memory, I didn’t know what happened between Killian and me. Apparently a lot if James was telling the truth. Surely he was exaggerating. Why couldn’t I remember? Damn it. This sucks. Opening the door, I took a deep breath and slipped inside.

With his back to me, he dug up a handful of shirts and slammed them down on the edge of the bed. I could tell by the tense set of his shoulders that he knew I was there, but he ignored me and kept packing. My gut clenched and I gripped the door jam with my fingers. 

How could he just leave?

He was just going to leave without even talking to me? Or yelling at me? Or anything? Disbelief held me motionless as I stared at him.  Domino sat by his backpack and whimpered. His movements were jerky as he shoved clothes into his duffle bag. The clock kept ticking and he ignored me. The silence was unbearable and I began to sweat as a shiver of fear crawled down my spine. The room dimmed as if the lights went out and then came back on again.

Suddenly I was too hot.

My emotions were taking over my powers and I was getting overwhelmed. I tried to calm down, but my blood was racing to the frantic beat of my heart. I was about to have a panic attack, and I didn’t know what my powers would do about that.  My fists were clenched at my sides and the telltale glimmer of light peeped from inside my palms. I was getting dangerously hot between my own raging emotions and absorbing the cold fury radiating from Sean.

“You’re just going to leave? Without a word?” I finally said in a voice too curt to be considered apologetic.

Not deigning to answer me, he grunted something manly and finished packing. Finally turning to face me he stopped and considered his words carefully.

“I loved you. I
loved
you and you betrayed me. There’s nothing to talk about. You blew it. It’s over.”

My eyes burned fiercely and I blinked to cool them. Struggling for control over the building energy, I snapped, “How can you just walk away? We’re not going to talk about this?”

His eyes were empty when he looked down at me then. There was nothing in them. No fury, no pain…nothing but an emptiness that broke my heart all over again. He didn’t care.

He was over me.

“Wow. I guess I didn’t mean that much to you after all.” I paused to think. “All that time I grieved for you…we all did. Where were you? Do you want to talk about that? Did you lie about that? Or is that okay since it’s you doing the lying? Is Dec in on that too?” My voice rose with each word until I was shouting at him.

“Mica! That’s not helping.” Killian stepped into the room and put his hands between us. “Sean, come on, man. Let’s get out of here. We can figure this out.”

Sean and I both snapped, “Fuck off!” and glared at him.

Exasperated and upset, he glanced back and forth at us and tried again. “There’s a lot more to this than James’ version. Don’t let him destroy everything!”

Sean stalked to the other side of the room and I turned my back on Killian to follow. He would just have to deal. I wasn’t in the mood for him.

With a growl, Killian dematerialized.

“Sean! Aren’t you going to answer me? Where were you?”

Narrowing his eyes at me, he growled, “Why don’t you just shut up? There’s nothing you can say to me that excuses what you did. You know, I could understand needing comfort, but you actually fell in love with him! How could you do that to me? I should’ve known better to get involved with a
human
. You’re weak and pathetic. Now get out of my way or I’ll move you.”

Planting my feet, I snarled right back, “Try it.” At this point, I was throwing off waves of heat that caused Domino to sniff the air.

With a cold glance, he took a step forward and I braced myself. He kept walking and I stood my ground. My eyes bored into his and I tried not to blow him up.  His eyes were ice cold as he looked through me and vanished into the night.

With no outlet for my frustrations, my eyes burned and I stood in the same spot panting with the overwhelming power surging through me. I had to get out of there. Without a backward glance, I flew down the front steps and took off in a sprint. It was snowing, it was dark, and it was dangerous for me to be alone in the woods. I welcomed the fool who attacked me tonight. I would rip them to shreds with my bare hands.

Where were the vampires and werewolves now?

I wouldn’t mind running into a few of them…I was furious and I was powerful. And, a little voice piped up in the back of my mind, heartbroken.

Don’t forget heartbroken…

By the time I cooled down to a human-ish temperature, I’d run for an hour and came back to the house dripping with sweat and melted snow. I wasn’t even breathing hard, but at least my temperature was normal again. Slamming the front door, I stalked through the rooms to see if Dec was still there. The house was empty. Not a sound. No one was here. Now what? Sagging against the doorframe, I fought back a lump in my throat. I couldn’t believe my life had just spiraled into the ground.

How had things come to this?

Raphael’s prophetic words haunted me as I stared at the stairs.
You will be challenged and you will be hurt. There is great pain on your path, Mica.
 

Lucky me…

Wandering listlessly to the bedroom, I took a shower and put on a robe. On autopilot, I checked the doors and windows and set the alarm. Suddenly exhausted, I crawled into bed with Domino. Curling around her soft little back, I cried myself to sleep.

It was late in the afternoon the next day when Domino nudged me awake. Groggy, I peered at the clock.  For a minute, I forgot what happened yesterday. Then in a rush of painful memories, it all came flooding back.

Oh, Sean…his empty eyes broke my heart all over again.

I loved you. I loved you
and you betrayed me. There’s nothing to talk about
.

He’d said
loved,
as in past tense, so he no longer loved me. How was that possible? After all we’d been through…I’d never stop loving him no matter what he did. How he could just walk away from me. It was so unfair. I didn’t even remember what I did. And where was Killian right now? He couldn’t take the heat and ran off to do some big bad ancient warrior crap leaving me here to live with the mess. Shit. I was so through with Primani!

Great warriors? Screw that.

Arrogant bastards.

All of them.

I allowed myself one last good cry and then let anger take over. Anger felt better than self-pity. My head ached and my eyes burned. Rubbing them irritably, I sighed to myself. Okay, maybe too much anger wasn’t good either. I couldn’t live like this; I hated pain. I needed to get up and get my life back together. To hell with all of them! I didn’t need them for anything anyway. They needed
me
now that I had Killian’s powers. Feeling smug, I imagined the expressions on their faces when they realized the ramifications of leaving me alone…

Furious, resentful, and very, very strong.

They’d be back.

In the meantime, I had to keep busy so I wouldn’t accidently go off and kill somebody. First, I would find Dani. My broken heart would have to take a back seat until I figured out where she was and do something about the demon baby. I had no idea what I could do; maybe I could still talk to Raphael. He’d know.