The Life Beyond (7 page)

I inched closer and knelt beside Rachel’s head. My hands cupped her cheeks and I tried to angle her face so she could look into my eyes. “Rachel? You’re safe.”

With a sob she went still. Gradually, she settled. Her chest rose and fell – slow but steady.

Joshua and Tyler released her limbs but stayed close by. Tyler was shaking, his face so pale it looked like there wasn’t a drop of blood in his body.

“Thirsty.”

Rachel’s croak made me jump. I scrambled for our one remaining bottle. There wasn’t more than a few gulps left.

I lifted the bottle to Rachel’s lips and the water sloshed against them. Her eyes flew open, a raspy whine escaping her mouth. She lashed out, sending the bottle flying. Joshua and Tyler reached for her flailing arms but she calmed before they had to restrain her again.

Joshua got up, his breath hot against my ear as he leaned close. “It’s hydrophobia. Sometimes rabies stops people being able to swallow water and they become terrified in case they choke.”

So that’s why Rachel had difficulties drinking before we went into the tunnel.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” I asked.

He shook his head.

I looked over at Rachel. Tyler was stroking her head and her eyes were focused on him but I wasn’t sure if she was actually seeing him. His lips were moving and I caught the tune of a lullaby. In the distance, the first whisps of light turned the sky grey. A few crickets began their song. I couldn’t stand the peace. I wanted to tear the stars down and kick the moon from the sky. How could they look just the same when down here everything was falling apart?

Rachel looked up at me as I sank down beside Joshua. I smiled and the muscles in my face quivered from the effort. The moment her eyelids drooped, I allowed myself to relax against Joshua, my head resting on his shoulder. My fingers found his and I ran my thumb over the scar on his palm.

Minutes trickled by as I listened to the shrubs rustling in the wind.

A dry rasping.

Rachel’s eyes were wide and her lips parted. Her jaw seemed paralyzed. She tried to move her mouth – nothing. Her throat flexed and her arms flailed when she was unable to swallow. We rushed to her side and I started massaging her throat. Panic flashed in her eyes and gurgling noises came from deep in her body. Tyler lifted her until she was in a sitting position but she still couldn’t swallow nor move her lips. Saliva slid out of the corners of her mouth, the consistency like mucus.

Tyler murmured words of reassurance, though the quiver in his voice made them hard to understand.

Rachel’s back arched and a new wave of gurgled coughs sputtered out.

“We have to do something! She’s choking to death,” I said.

Joshua looked away, his jaw tightening.

Noises came from Rachel’s mouth. We all moved closer to catch her words and when I did, iciness clawed at my insides.

‘Kill me.’

Her fingers tore at Tyler’s shirt and her eyes were pleading.

“Joshua,” Tyler said it with so much despair that more tears sprang into my eyes.

“No.” Joshua stood and took a step back. “I can’t.”

“Please, she wants it.”

Tyler’s face crumpled and he reached for his own gun. Rachel relaxed and relief flashed in her eyes.

“Kill me, please,” she rasped.

Tyler bent over Rachel and brushed a kiss across her forehead, whispering words I didn’t hear. Slowly he straightened and pointed the gun at her, his hand shaking. I closed my eyes and braced myself but the shot didn’t come. I looked at Tyler. His arms shook and slowly he lowered the gun. He dropped his gaze to the ground and started crying. “I’m so sorry. I can’t do it.”

Any hint of hope disappeared from Rachel’s face. “I understand,” she whispered. Inch by inch, she lifted her arm from the ground. Her fingers moved, making grasping motions. “Give me the gun.”

Tyler hesitated, then handed it to her. Their fingers lingered against each other for a moment. Her hand slumped to the ground, but she didn’t release the pistol. It was clutched in her fingers as though it was her anchor. Another fit of wet coughing shook Rachel’s body. Blood started to trickle out of her nose. Tyler let out a sob and took a step back. With great difficulty, Rachel raised her arm with the gun. She closed her eyes and wrapped her hand around the cross pendant on her chest. Her lips moved in prayer.

Part of me wanted to stop her. To beg her to wait for us; to see if there really was a cure. But how could I tell her to keep suffering? It wasn’t my choice to make.

I crawled nearer to Rachel, with Joshua close behind me. I took Rachel’s hand. “I’m so sorry that we weren’t fast enough.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s the government,” she whispered.

“We’ll find the bastards that did this to you. We’ll make them pay, Rachel. I promise,” I said. I felt something harden inside me – tight and angry,

She swallowed slowly, her breath rattling in her chest. Her knuckles turned white as she cradled the gun. “I … I must do it now. Before it’s too late.”

I leaned over her and kissed her forehead. “I’ll miss you,” said, forcing myself not to cry. Joshua hugged Rachel gently and whispered goodbye. Then we both got up and moved away, as Tyler went to Rachel’s side. After a few moments, he too, moved away.

We three stood together. The first sunrays bloomed with pinks and purple in the sky. At least Rachel would go with that image in her mind. She met my gaze and pressed the barrel against her temple. Her finger on the trigger tensed. I closed my eyes.

A shot rang out, echoed in my ears and sliced through me. I stiffened. Slowly I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t look. I felt Joshua’s arms around me, and I folded myself into him. His embrace tightened around me; his breath caught in his throat. He buried his face in my hair and took a few deep breaths.

Tyler stood frozen, his wide eyes on Rachel’s body. For a moment he was very still as though the life had drained from him when she’d pulled the trigger. Then he staggered past us and fell to his knees beside her.

“Tyler?” I whispered, every word like shards in my throat.

Joshua shook his head and turned away. “He wants to be alone.”

And so we gave him the time he needed to say goodbye.

The dry earth resisted our gravedigging. We had only our hands and soon my skin was scraped and my nails broken off. The sun beat down on us and I could already smell the acidly sweet stench of decay.

The hole wasn’t deep enough. A fox or coyote could dig the body out without difficulty. But there wasn’t time to do more, to make sure Rachel had a good resting place. And how could this place, in the middle of nowhere, be a good resting place anyway? She should be in the graveyard, with people who knew and loved her. I hated the thought of leaving her here alone.

Joshua and Tyler lowered Rachel’s body into the ground. I didn’t look at her until they’d covered her head, then I helped them push the remaining earth over her. Not more than a layer of two inches of dirt protected her from the greedy ravens already monitoring us from a safe distance. I felt like we should say a prayer or give a speech but I didn’t know what to say.

Tyler hadn’t spoken since the shot. He’d had barely even looked at us.

2 hours and 26 minutes since Rachel had pulled the trigger. 22 hours and 15 minutes since we lost Bobby..

Tyler turned away from the grave and started walking. Joshua and I followed. The sweat from digging the hole turned the dirt on my body back into a film of mud. Now the sun was drying everything again and the grime grew into a tight armour of dust on my skin and clothes.

Tyler took one step after the other, moving mechanically, his face slack and emotionless.

“Do you think he knows where we’re going?” I asked.

Joshua blinked. “I’m not sure. He seems kind of out of it.”

“If we don’t drink something soon, we all will be,” I said.

Joshua nodded, determination flashing across his face as he sped up. “Hey, Tyler!”

No reaction.

“Tyler!” Joshua touched his shoulder and Tyler stopped, causing us to almost bump into him. For a moment it looked like he didn’t remember us, but then he rubbed his eyes and recognition settled in them.

“Are you sure we’re heading in the right direction?” I asked.

A small shrug was the answer and my heart sank into my shoes.

“Look, we have to find water first,” said Joshua. “We can find the way to the laboratory later.”

A highway parted the monotone landscape, broken-down cars littering its sides. Shrubs bowed under the sun’s glare. I’d thought there’d be more people, more signs of life on this side of the fence. But it was deserted.

Then, like a mirage rising from the sand, an old farmhouse came into view. Flickering heat smudged the contours of the building. My heart leaped in my chest. Could this really be it? Could this be our chance to finally make contact with people beyond the fence?

Chapter 6

I was barely able to lift my feet off the ground as we trudged over what must have once been a grainfield. As we drew closer, I took in the bleached wooden panels of the buildings, and noticed that their rooves were missing several shingles. I realized with a sinking feeling that the place looked abandoned. The entrance to the farmhouse was secured with a padlock. Driven by thirst, Joshua tried to open it with his knife. When that failed he threw himself against the old wood in a fit of desperation. The door groaned and creaked but didn’t budge.

“Damn it!” Joshua sank to the ground. He looked at Tyler, squinting against the sun’s glare. “How far is it to the lab?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s far from here. I don’t know.” Tyler’s eyes were glassy and unfocused, his tone flat. My heart sank.

“Great. We’re lost in the middle of nowhere without water. The military is probably already searching for us.” Joshua leaned his head against the wooden panels, frustration etched upon his face.

Suddenly something moved in the corner of my eye, a shadow slipping between the tractor and the Dodge. My hand darted to the gun at my waistband. Joshua moved fast – faster than I’d have thought possible in the state we were in. He jumped on the hood and was over the car before I could blink. I ran after him, stars dancing before my eyes.

Joshua was kneeling over a girl around my age, holding a knife to her throat. She struggled beneath him, kicking and yelling, until eventually she calmed. Slowly, Joshua pulled back and got up, keeping the knife at the girl’s throat and gesturing for me to stay behind him. Tyler approached us silently, his eyes cautious. I was glad to see the apathy gone from his face.

“Who are you?” Joshua asked, his voice gravelly from thirst. He removed a gun from a halter around the girl’s waist.

“Alexis,” the girl said as she sat up, her eyes never leaving the weapon in Joshua’s hand.

“What are you doing here?”

“I followed you,” she said with a shrug, as if that was the most normal thing.

I raised my eyebrows. “You’ve been watching us?”

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t infected.”

What the hell? Joshua and I exchanged a look. Why would she think someone on this side was infected?

“What do you mean?” Joshua asked.

Alexis got up and dusted herself off. “I think you know what I mean. That virus they’re testing in the lab around here.”

Joshua’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know about the lab?”

“I could ask you the same question,” she said. The girl eyed us cautiously, but she didn’t look scared at all, despite the knife in Joshua’s hand. “You look like you could use some water. I’ll tell you where to find some if you tell me who you are.”

“We’re from L.A. It’s over-run with Weepers there,” Joshua said.

Her eyes widened. “You live in The Void?”

“The Void?” I asked.

She nodded. “That’s what the media calls the Lost Land, the part contaminated with rabies.” Again that shrug. “So how do you know about the labs?” Suspicion laced her voice.

I glanced at Joshua. He nodded toward Tyler. “Our friend escaped from one. He told us about it,” he said.

Alexis turned to Tyler who rubbed the tattoo on his wrist. “Okay,” she said slowly, as if she was trying to solve a puzzle. She fumbled with a ring around her thumb. It looked like a wedding band. She was definitely too young to be married though. “I want my gun back.”

“You haven’t told us anything about you yet,” Joshua reminded her.

A look of irritation flashed across her face before she answered. “I’m from Austin, Texas. But I haven’t been back there in months.”

So she was from this side.

“What happened?” I asked.

She sighed. “My father was drafted into the army. He wasn’t even on the reserve list but suddenly he got a letter and two days later he left. Lots of men who didn’t have the money to bribe their way out were forced to become soldiers.”

“What about the professional military? Why do they need additional soldiers?”

“Because we’ve got three wars going at the moment.”

“Three?”

“Yeah, over fuel, territorial issues, water.”

“Water?” I asked. How could so much have gone wrong since we went into shelter? I’d thought life beyond the fence would be better.

“We’re running out,” said Alexis, sadness flickering in her eyes. “Life’s nothing like it used to be before the rabies. Everything is rationed. Food, oil, gas. You know, after the rabies, after they built the fence to protect us —”

I opened my mouth to object but Joshua shook his head.

Alexis continued, unaware of our silent exchange. “A few other countries accused us of having spread the virus on purpose to attack them.” She let out a bitter laugh. “They started army-building. That led to more countries doing the same. Nobody wanted to fall back, you know. You remember when we had allies in the other western countries? Well, that time is over. Every country fends for itself. There’s no cooperation, just distrust. Especially with Europe. Global trade has collapsed. We’re at war with the Middle East over oil. There isn’t enough food to fill the shelves in the stores and not enough oil and gas to provide eletricity 24/7. Each family has a monthly budget and if that’s used up within two weeks, bad luck. You’ll have to live without electricity for the rest of the month. That’s how it is.”

My head was spinning. I’d thought the world beyond the fence would be like it used to be. A small part of me had foolishly hoped to get my other life back one day.

“I haven’t heard from my Dad since he was sent to fight,” Alexis finished.

“What about the rest of your family?” I asked.

“My mom got sick days after my father had left. They took her away and told us she’d died. My sister was old enough to take care of me. But one day when I returned from school she was gone too. A neighbour told me the military had taken her. They would’ve taken me as well, too, but I didn’t go home after that.”

I didn’t want to believe her. “But someone must have noticed that you disappeared. Didn’t they do something?”

“People disappear all the time, especially orphans. I know I can never return home because the military would find out.” She shrugged again as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“So where do you live now? Here?” I looked around the shabby remains of the farmhouse.

“No, I live in Vegas with the Undergrounders. We’re all orphans. We live in the tunnels under the city to hide from the military.”

I’d never thought this side could be scarier than home.

“What are you doing so far from Vegas?” Joshua asked.

“I’m here as a scout. And it’s only a day by foot to Vegas.” Droplets of sweat clung to her brown brows.

“Scout?” he asked dryly. I had to bite back a snort. Maybe I should ask her if she had Girl Scout cookies.

“Every month we send out two people who scout the area for strays like you and to see what the military’s up to. If I hadn’t found you, one of the helicopters would’ve captured you soon. What are you doing here anyway?”

“We’re looking for my brother,” I blurted. She didn’t need to know the truth – yet.

“We found the car he used littered with gun holes beside the fence. There was lots of blood,” Joshua said, not missing a beat. The image twisted my stomach but I kept my face straight.

“They didn’t leave the body there to rot?” she asked.

I shook my head, unable to speak.

“Hm, maybe they’re using the corpse to do tests. But they usually take living people, so he might not be dead yet.”

My heart leaped in my chest. Bobby might not be dead? I didn’t dare believe it.

“What do you know about the tests?” Joshua asked.

“We Undergrounders know lots of stuff.” She scanned our faces. “Why don’t you come with me?”

Tyler sat on the ground, his face propped up on his knees and his eyes closed. It was no use asking him right now.

“Can you give us a minute?” I asked, before taking Joshua’s hand and leading him out of earshot. “I don’t trust her,” I whispered.

Joshua nodded grimly, keeping an eye on Alexis.

“But we have to find the cure and they know this side better than any of us. I think we’re going to need their help. Tyler’s lost it … since Rachel’s …”

“The Undergrounders could tell us lots of stuff Tyler doesn’t know,” agreed Joshua. “It’s our only choice.”

We walked back to Alexis. “Okay. We’ll go with you,” Joshua said, his voice hard.

“Fine.” She nodded. “But first, water.” To my surprise, she walked toward the barn and opened the door. “This is where I spend the nights when I’m out here scouting,” she said, looking over her shoulder.

We stepped inside; the air was stuffy and reeked of old hay. Alexis opened the lid of a huge barrel. It reminded me of the hot tub my family had had in a cabin in the Rocky Mountains many years ago.

“A cystern,” Joshua said.

Alexis nodded and started pulling at a rope. A small bucket filled with water was at the end of it. I stumbled toward the cystern. My throat and mouth were parched. It felt like there wasn’t a drop of fluid left in my body.

“You sure it isn’t contaminated with pesticides or other things.” The way Joshua said “other” made me pause.

Alexis dipped her hand into the bucket and brought it to her lips, swallowing a few gulps of the water. “It’s clean. I’ve been drinking it over the last few days and I haven’t dropped dead yet.”

That was enough for me. I grabbed the bucket and raised it to my mouth, my arms trembling from the effort to lift it. The cool water sloshed into my mouth and down my throat. It felt wonderful. Joshua and Tyler each took the bucket and gulped down the water as greedily as I had.

Now that I wasn’t thirsty anymore I noticed the stench of sour sweat and the grime on my skin. My whole body itched.

“Is there a place where we can clean up or take a shower?” I asked. Alexis wasn’t dirty and she didn’t stink, so there had to be.

“I usually take a bucket outside with me and pour it over my head,” Alexis said. “But you shouldn’t go outside alone. I’ll accompany you.” She began to rise but Joshua got up first, dust falling off his sweat drenched, dirt-caked jeans. “No, I’ll do it.” He turned to Tyler whose eyes had lost their confused flicker since he’d had some water. “You got your gun?”

Tyler nodded. Alexis looked annoyed. “Speaking of which, can I have my gun back now?”

Joshua emptied the gun of its bullets before throwing it into her lap. “You get these once I’m sure you won’t shoot us in the back.”

Then he filled two buckets with water, and we took them outside to a paved spot. A skeletal tree grew nearby, perfect to hang my clothes on once I’d washed them. Joshua set the buckets on the ground close to the barn’s wall. He ran a hand through his hair; suddenly he seemed really uncomfortable “I’ll go over there and wait until you’re done,” he said, walking away.

I watched the muscles in his back through his sweat-drenched shirt and the way his blond hair, bleached by the sun, stuck up at all angles. He leaned against a tree, his back to me. The tattoo between his shoulder blades shone through. I could read ‘Avenger’ as clearly as though he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

I turned my back to Joshua and curled the fingers around the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head. I chanced a look over my shoulder at Joshua before unbuttoning my jeans. His face was still turned away but I could have sworn I saw him move. Part of me wanted him to look. I shrugged out of my jeans and underwear and kicked them away. I positioned the bucket in front of me. It was so heavy; lifting it over my head would be impossible. I ran my fingers through my hair to assess the damage. It felt matted, with sticks, dirt and stones stuck in it. Cleaning myself would be much easier if someone dumped the bucket over my head so my hands were free to scrub the dirt from my skin.

I peered over my shoulder again and this time I was almost certain that Joshua’s head had moved.

“Joshua?”

He looked at me sideways. His eyes travelled the length of my body. It felt like electricity was running through it.

“Could you help me?” My voice came out higher than usual.

He pushed away from the tree and walked toward me, the shirt clinging to his taut stomach. He gazed at me like I was the most fascinating sight he’d ever seen. I could feel a blush creep across my cheeks but I didn’t look away. I smiled at him, feeling bolder than ever before. “I need you to come closer to unknot my hair.”

A grin flitted across his face but it was replaced by something that made my stomach flood with heat. He stepped closer and placed his hands on my shoulders, goose-bumps prickling across my skin. His fingers tenderly massaged my tight muscles, moving up to my neck. We were so close now that his breath tickled my shoulder as he gently untangled my hair. When he was done, he stroked my back with his fingertips. We stood like that, neither of us speaking for a moment.

I cleared my throat. “Could you pour water over my head?”

He raised the bucket with ease. “Ready?” he asked, a smile creeping into his voice.

I nodded. Icy cold water splashed on my hair and poured down my body, making me squeal. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the way my teeth chattered and my muscles constricted. I rubbed the dirt from my hair and skin while Joshua poured more water over me. Droplets of water clung to my skin and glittered in the sun. I became intensely aware of Joshua’s gaze on me. His breathing deepened and without thinking, I turned around. The surprise was obvious on Joshua’s face. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, partly because shyness had taken over and partly because I just wanted to be close to him. Joshua wrapped his arms around me. I raised my head, my skin unbearably hot. The look in Joshua’s eyes sent a tingle through my body. Our lips met as I pressed myself against him and his grip tightened.

I wanted to hold on to this kiss; keep it forever. Our time was running out, death was catching up with us. Yet there was still so much I wanted to do.

Joshua stopped kissing me, his lips inches from mine, and resisted when I tried to pull him back to me. That’s when I tasted salt on my lips and realized I was crying. His hands were warm on my cheeks and the heat in his eyes was replaced by something soft and concerned.