Authors: Susanne Winnacker
The inside of the mission was nothing like Safe-haven. It lacked the chandeliers, carpets and cosy atmosphere of the vineyard. Instead it was vast and cold and had the feel of a place that had lain empty and unloved for some time. The kitchen looked like it was two hundred years old. It had rough stone floors and wooden chairs and a table from the colonial era. Aside from that, there was almost no furniture, not a single bed. Since we didn’t have enough sleeping bags a few of us would have to share. And we’d have to gather firewood if we wanted to cook anything on the old stove, but at least it didn’t require electricity.
There was lots of space for all of us though, and for more survivors. The dome provided a perfect place for two of us to keep watch at night, with a good overlook of the surroundings. It didn’t feel homely, but it felt like it might be safe.
Mom sank to the ground of our sleeping quarters. Her trembling fingers fumbled with the zip of her sleeping bag as she stared out of the window. It was encrusted with dust and dead mosquitos, and the way it was divided into eight even squares gave the room a prison feel. Mom’s eyes were empty. The knitting needles lay in her lap. Mia snuggled against her but she didn’t notice. “Mom?” Mia’s voice was small. “Where will I sleep?” Her fingers clutched at Mom’s arm.
No reaction.
My stomach squeezed into a tight knot. I took the sleeping bag from Mom and unzipped it. “You’ll share this with Mom, okay?” I brushed Mia’s unkempt hair from her face. She nodded, lower lip quivering. Snot had dried under her nose and strawberry jam was smeared across her cheek. I fetched a wet cloth and wiped her face with it. Mia didn’t even grimace like she used to.
“It’ll be all right. I’ll sleep right next to you,” I said. She buried her face in my chest. My fingers loosened the knots in her hair and her breathing deepened.
Click click.
“Mom?” I whispered.
She ignored me and continued knitting.
Click. Click.
Images from the bunker flitted through my head; Grandma sitting on the sofa, knitting incessantly since Grandpa had died and we’d had to store him in the freezer beside our dwindling supplies.
Careful not to wake Mia, I gripped Mom’s arm. “Mom?”
She looked at me but the needles kept moving.
Click. Click.
“She’s lost it,” Bobby said. I hadn’t noticed him leaning against the wall. I ran a hand across my eyes, forcing back tears.
I lifted Mia and put her into the sleeping bag. “Can you keep an eye on her? I need to grab some fresh air.”
With a shrug Bobby sat down beside Mia. “Be careful,” he called after me.
My legs shook as I walked out. How could I leave Bobby and Mia when Mom was like this?
We all met in the chapel after nightfall when the others were fast asleep. Rachel and Tyler were on guard duty so we didn’t have much time. Joshua brought some matchsticks and lit a couple of candles on the altar. The warm light of the flames caught on the floor and the pews, showing us where to walk without stepping on chunks of ceiling.
Rachel curtsied and crossed herself in front of the altar, whispering a short prayer. She rose and dusted off her knees and the worry-lines around her eyes disappeared. I didn’t understand how she could still believe in anything after what had happened.
We slid into one of the pews. The smell of old paper and rotten wood was heavy but I also caught a hint of incense, as if it had impregnated itself into the benches and walls over decades of use. Maybe it was the Jesus staring at us from the cross high above the altar, blood dripping on his forehead from the crown of thorns, but something made me shiver.
“We should hurry,” Joshua said, turning to Tyler and Rachel. “I don’t want you to neglect your watch for too long. This area seems safe but we shouldn’t risk anything. And besides, we don’t want the others to catch us.”
“So,” I began, my voice scratchy. I cleared my throat. “Have you made up your mind? Will you come with us?”
Tyler looked at Rachel before he nodded. “Yes.”
Joshua wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him, his face grim in the flickering light. “We shouldn’t waste any time. If there’s a cure, we need to find it as soon as possible. Sherry’s dad’s only got about a week before he’ll transform into a Weeper. And we don’t know what happens if someone has been a Weeper for too long.” He paused, his eyes clouding over.
I knew he was thinking about his sister, Zoe.
“I think this is also our chance to collect evidence against the government,” I announced. “I’ve been thinking, if we got video cameras, we could tape what we see on our way to the fence and maybe we can find a way to show people what’s really going on this side.”
Joshua nodded. “It’s worth a try. And at the very least we could use the video to show Geoffrey and the others what we’ve seen.”
I was glad that he hadn’t called my plan crazy. “So, tomorrow morning?” I said.
“Tomorrow,” Rachel and Tyler agreed. Their hands were entwined.
Joshua nodded, his lips pressed together.
“Do you think we should talk to the others about it?” I asked.
Tyler turned away from the cross he’d been glaring at. “They would try to talk us out of it. We don’t even know for sure if there is a cure beyond the fence.”
Joshua played with a strand of my hair as he nodded. “Tyler’s right. They wouldn’t understand. They’d say it’s a suicide mission.”
Was it?
The faces on the paintings seemed to scrutinize me, judge me. Would
they
have known what was the right thing to do? I dropped my eyes to the gray stone floor.
“We can leave them a letter. At least that way they’d know why we’ve left.” I’d definitely have to leave Bobby a note to explain why we left without him and ask him to take care of Mia and Mom.
Rachel shifted on the pew as if she could feel the gazes of the paintings too. “But what about the car? Won’t they need it?”
“They won’t need three cars. And the Lincoln is my car. Nobody will miss it,” Joshua said.
“So we’ll set out before sunrise when the others are still asleep. We’ll take highway 101 to L.A. and then the interstate 15 to Nevada. It would lead us straight toward Las Vegas if there wasn’t the fence. But you’re sure it runs south of Vegas, right?” I asked.
Tyler nodded. “I’m pretty sure.”
“Good. So we’ll drive on the I-15 until we have no choice but to leave the road. Since we don’t know exactly where the fence is, we’ll probably have to stay offroad for a while,” I said.
Joshua frowned. “Tyler, do you know how close we can get to the fence without being spotted by helicopters or other surveillance?”
“I — I don’t know. A few miles maybe.”
“But what if they monitor the whole region, not just the fence area?” Rachel asked.
Nobody said anything. If we got caught, the military wouldn’t send us off with a simple warning.
“We’ll just have to be careful,” Joshua said eventually. “We have to focus on finding the tunnel. Without it, this whole thing is doomed anyway.”
The word ‘Doomed’ felt like it might become the theme of our mission. I closed my eyes briefly and took a deep breath before I spoke again. “Once we’ve found the tunnel, we’ll crawl through it like Tyler did when he escaped from the labs. And from there we’ll have to follow you, Tyler.”
Joshua and I crept back to the main building and into the room where everyone was sleeping. The electricity wasn’t working, so we had to feel our way around in the dark. Rhythmic breathing and snores echoed around us as we crossed the room to a free spot. We lay down on the sleeping bag on the old wooden floor. The summer’s heat wasn’t as oppressive inside at night, but it was still warm enough that we didn’t need anything to cover ourselves. I rested my head on Joshua’s chest. He tangled his fingers in my hair and started stroking my head. My eyelids drooped as I relaxed against him. But even his closeness couldn’t make me forget what was to come.
Three hours, lots of twisting and turning and little sleep later, I scribbled a hasty note. Nobody stirred, though Mia kept muttering in her sleep. Bobby had pulled his sleeping bag over his head so I could only make out a lump in the form of his body. I wished I could see his blonde mop of hair. I wanted to go over to hug him and Mia goodbye but I couldn’t risk it. Even though I knew I might never hug them again.
We met the others in the inner courtyard. It was still dark outside. Rachel and Tyler had been on guard duty all night. Their faces were drawn and their eyelids drooping.
“Did you pack everything?” Joshua asked as we stopped in front of them.
Tyler nodded, yawning. “Water and food are in the trunk. Weapons are on the backseat.”
“Nobody noticed anything?” I asked, looking up at the dark windows of the mission.
“No. Being on guard has its perks,” Rachel said with a small smile.
The first rays illuminated the horizon as we crammed into the car and drove off. I couldn’t help wondering if Mom would be worried when she found the letter. Or would she be in too much of a state to care at all?
I let down the window. Cool morning air whirled my hair around. Fog cloaked the surrounding streets and colored the sky a dull grey. Joshua drummed a rhythm on the steering wheel and I let it pull me into drowsiness.
Thump. Thump. Thump thump. Thump.
My thoughts turned as foggy as our surroundings. I wished the sun would finally show and dispell the mist.
Thump. Thump. Thump Thump. Thump.
Highway 101 stretched before us. Weeds peeked through the cracks and the occasional deer dashed into the bushes when we drew close.
After hours, lush green hills cloaked by fog turned to vast nothingness - desertlike plains beaten by the sun. The air blowing into the car felt like it was coming out of a hairdryer. Interstate 15 led through the Mojave desert. Carcasses – the flesh burned off by the sun – littered the road and beyond. Now and then we had to veer past a broken car or a traffic sign.
We passed a street sign promoting Calico, a ghosttown in California. I smiled grimly. Who needed a ghosttown in a ghoststate? After several more miles we saw another sign, this time advertising a Walmart. I sat up a little, a trickle of excitement running through my veins.
“Joshua, do you think it’s worth us stopping there? See if there’s any gas or more supplies? I wonder if we might be able to find some cameras, or something we could use to film stuff on the other side of the fence,” I asked.
He looked over at me and smiled. “Good idea,” he said. “Let’s do it.”
I relaxed back in my seat. Slick with sweat, my shirt and jeans clung to me and soon a layer of dust covered my skin. I drew patterns on it until my fingers were sticky with grime.
A moan came from the backseat. It was the first sign of complaint from Rachel. Her dark hair fell in damp ringlets against her pale face, her skin glistening. “It must be 110 outside,” she said, pushing her bangs back. “It’s making me feel sick.”
I looked at the clock on the dashboard.
4 hours and 56 minutes, that’s how long we’d been on the road.
296 minutes of silence, sweat and stale air.
“Do you need us to stop?” I asked.
Rachel pressed an arm against her stomach. “I’m not sure.”
“There’s an old Walmart ahead,” Joshua said. “Sherry thinks we should try stopping there – see if there’s any gas, and supplies. Do you think you can make it until then?”
She shook her head hastily, eyes panicked.
“Joshua, stop!” I said.
He slammed his foot on the break and we jerked to a halt. Rachel stumbled out of the car and bent over, starting to retch. Tyler held her hair back as she threw up.
Joshua and I got out, exchanging a look. Something was wrong with Rachel.
Suddenly I heard knocking. It sounded like it was coming from the car. I drew my gun. Had something gotten tangled up in the undercarriage?
“What’s that?” I asked.
The knocking turned into an insistent hammering.
“It’s coming from the trunk,” Joshua said. He grabbed the gun from his waistband and moved toward the car.
“Be careful,” I said, aiming my gun at the trunk.
With a quick move, Joshua opened the trunk before jumping back, body coiled for attack. He relaxed when he saw what was inside.
It was Bobby. I lowered my gun, the air rushing from my lungs. I felt a sudden burst of relief but it was quickly followed by intense panic. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He heaved his legs out of the trunk and carefully stood up. His clothes and hair were drenched with sweat.
“I overheard you in the chapel,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I want to help. I have to help. I’m sick of staying behind.”
He swayed suddenly and held onto the car for balance. I went to help him and touched his forehead. He was burning up. “Joshua, he needs water.”
I brushed the hair from his soaking skin. “God, Bobby, what have you done?” I whispered, hardly able to believe this was happening. “Who’s going to take care of Mom and Mia now? They need you.” I thought of Mia, waking up, thinking we’d both abandoned her. Of Mom, realizing she might lose us, too.
Guilt flitted across Bobby’s pale face. “I — I’m sure Karen …” But his words trailed off as the doubt crept in.
Joshua stared inside the trunk before slamming it shut. His brows dipped into a V and a muscle in his jaw twitched.
“Where are our supplies?” he asked.
Bobby stared at the ground, giving a small shrug.
“Nothing,” Joshua spat. “Not a single bottle of water or can of beans.”
“Bobby?” My voice vibrated like the string of a guitar.
“I unloaded them so I’d fit in,” he said, sheepishly.
“You threw away our supplies?” My mouth went dry.
298 minutes since I’d drank water. 17,880 seconds – too long in the summer heat. And Bobby needed water as soon as possible.
“Great, just great.” Joshua pushed his hand through his hair. He turned around and stalked off, dust whirling around his sneakers. His shoulders were stiff with tension. I thought about going after him but had a feeling that he needed a moment to calm down.