The Grasshopper (33 page)

“I see that you’ve opened to them
the two sports arenas, Kaella 1 and Kaella 2.”

“I have. So that they too can
organize binge drinking, drug consumption, feasting and orgies. And
they aren’t called Kaella anymore.”

“No?”

“I’m not sure. They gave them some
odd names.”

“Sodom and Gomorrah.”

“Yes! How did you know?”

“From now on demand that they
address you as ‘Your Highness the Human Being’. And you, Your
Highness, have truly deserved that title.”

“I will! Great name! I’ll
immediately call the television station to tell them…”

“No, no… wait a bit. Throw off that
stupid tunic that conceals your beautiful human body. From now on,
let them carry you naked, standing up.”

“What will I do naked,
Grasshopper?”

“Alright… have them make you a
thong with your image.”

“Well… I can’t do that
either…”

“Why?”

“I have a boil on my
ass.”

“Don’t worry. It will be a
wonderful fashion detail.”

Chapter 120

“Doctor?” Erivan called his
psychiatrist in the middle of the night.

“Yes, Your Highness the Human
Being?”

“Should I take a double dose? I
can’t go to sleep.”

“No, don’t. It won’t help you. And
it can damage your liver.”

“So what should I do? I can’t go on
like this . I’m not getting any sleep. I can’t even enjoy myself
properly.”

“You have very rare condition, Your
Highness.”

“Me sick? You’d better be careful
what you say!”

“No, no. You didn’t understand.
You’re not sick. Mr. Grasshopper is sick.”

“The Grasshopper? What do I care
about him?”

“It’s a strange condition. Its
called the cosmic syndrome. When someone spends so much time alone
in space, like Mr. Grasshopper, then they develop …”

“Let him develop…”

“They develop it but the condition
is transferred to the person that they communicate with. And that’s
you, Your Highness. He doesn’t have any symptoms. It’s a very
strange condition. He needs to be treated, not you.”

“Very well. I’ll tell him. And you
can treat him.”

“I can’t. I don’t know this
disease. There is only one doctor who treats it.”

“Alright. Let him treat him. It
makes no difference to me.”

Part IV: Hope

Chapter 121

Dr. Palladino sat in a chair set up
between Erivan’s desk and the office door. Charlie stood behind
him.

“You will now call the Grasshopper
and ask him this question,” said Dr. Palladino to
Erivan.

“It’s a stupid question, Doctor,”
Erivan hesitated. “It isn’t at all for the Grasshopper. He does
what I command him.”

“That’s clear to me. But this is
the magical question which cures the cosmic syndrome. After that
you will sleep like a baby.”

“Really? Great! I’ll call him
immediately.”

“Why will you kill all the people,
Grasshopper?” Erivan asked, as soon as the Grasshopper picked
up.

After a few moments of silence the
Grasshopper said

“Widen the camera angle, Your
Highness.”

Erivan looked at Dr. Palladino, who
nodded. He then showed the entire office to the
Grasshopper.

“You are…?” the Grasshopper asked
when he saw Dr. Palladino.

“Palladino.”

“Why is it that it was precisely
you, Mr. Palladino, who got the opportunity to ask me this
question?”

“My colleague asked me to do so,
Grasshopper.”

“Colleague? From which
field?”

“Medicine.”

“Psychiatry, I presume.”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t your colleague ask the
question himself? Why did he ask you, Dr. Palladino?”

“Because I create psychological
profiles for serial killers.”

“Aha. So your colleague believes
that I’m a serial killer?”

“Yes.”

“And you?”

“I believe that you are an absolute
killer.”

“Absolute? I will do everything in
my power to justify your confidence, Dr. Palladino.”

“I believe you will.”

“I’ve noticed that you are on a
first name basis with me, Dr. Palladino.”

“Yes, I am. Does that bother
you?”

“No, but I’m interested why you
decided to do so?”

“Because in my practice I’m always
on a first name basis with killers.”

“Because you despise
us?”

“It helps me create a
profile.”

“To create a profile or negotiate
with a killer?”

“I’ve never negotiated nor have I
communicated in any way with serial killers. I’ve only talked to
them in my head. I would ask them questions and imagine their
probable answers.”

“I am the first killer to whom you
have actually spoken?”

“Yes.”

“Have you studied me?”

“Yes. I looked over the recordings
of yours and Erivan’s conversations.”

“Erivan’s? You’re a bold man, Dr.
Palladino. How dare you call His Highness by his name?”

“I call Erivan by his name because
I believe that you are wrong.”

“You don’t believe that Erivan
symbolizes His Highness the Human Being”.

“No, I don’t.”

“Do you perhaps believe that I
represent His Highness the Human Being?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Alright, Dr. Palladino. Ask
away.”

“I’ve already asked the
question.”

“Why will I kill all the
people?”

“Yes.”

“Because I can.”

Chapter 122

Having heard the Grasshopper’s
answer, Dr. Palladino lowered his head, placed the palms of his
hands on his knees and stayed in that position for several moments.
He then got up from his chair and without looking at the
Grasshopper he started for the door.

Charlie stepped in front of him and
placed a hand on his chest.

“Where are you going, Dr.
Palladino?” the Grasshopper asked.

“I’m leaving,” answered Dr.
Palladino, looking at Charlie’s hand.

“Did my answer anger
you?”

“No.”

“Disappoint you?

“No.”

“Did you expect it?”

“Yes.”

“And now you think that talking to
me no longer makes sense?”

“Yes.”

“And you do only meaningful
things?”

“Mostly not. Only when I work for
the Inspectorate,” Dr. Palladino turned towards the
Grasshopper.

“You’re not afraid that Charlie
will kill you? You’re not afraid of dying?”

“No.”

“I see,” said the Grasshopper,
looking Dr. Palladino in the eye. “You’re eyes are red, Dr.
Palladino. You haven’t had enough sleep. You’ve been working hard,
studying my file, I assume?”

“Yes.”

“Charlie, are your men in front of
the door?” the Grasshopper asked.

“Of course.”

“Have them take the Doctor to
another room, to get some sleep.”

“Here you go, Doctor,” said
Charlie, having opened the door.

“Grasshopper, did the doctor cure
you?” Erivan asked. “Hmm? Are you better? It seems to me that I’m a
little drowsy. I’ll try to have a little nap…”

“Charlie, kill the idiot,” said the
Grasshopper, when Charlie returned.

Chapter 123

“Are you rested, Dr. Palladino?”
the Grasshopper asked.

“Yes. Erivan’s gone?” Dr. Palladino
sat down in a chair.

“He won’t be bothering us anymore,”
said the Grasshopper. “Do you still think that talking to me
doesn’t make any sense?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Aren’t you at all professionally
curious to create the psychological profile of an absolute
killer?”

“I don’t create profiles to learn
whether the killer had an unhappy childhood, but rather to help
inspectors find him and lock him up; to prevent new killings.
Creating your profile will not contribute to that.”

“Probably not, but you cannot be
absolutely certain of that. Or perhaps you can, with your knowledge
and experience?”

“I cannot.”

“So you do allow for the small
possibility that you could convince me to stop killing?”

“Anything is possible, but I do not
see that possibility.”

“Doctor, you are the only person in
the world that I am talking to. And you don’t want to even try to
make out this possibility and take advantage of it through our
conversation. What then is the difference between the two of us?
You are therefore my accessory.”

Dr. Palladino looked out the window
in silence.

“Charlie told me that he found you…
in a very delicate situation. But this is not about your life,
Doctor, but about…”

“You’re right, sir,” Dr. Palladino
said, looking him in the eye.

“We are no longer on first name
basis?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve decided to talk to
you for as long as you will permit it. And I cannot use my usual
methods and ways of thinking.”

“In addition to what you said,
perhaps you feel that a first name basis is not appropriate?
Perhaps you have started to respect me?”

“Respect you? Certainly not. But
you leave such an impression on a person, that first name basis is
not acceptable.”

“Tell me, Doctor, I’m certain that
you thought everything through, what do you think why am I talking
to you?”

“Because you are bored. Am I
right?”

“You probably are. Also, I’ve been
given this unexpected opportunity to talk to an intellectual, for
the first time since I finished my education. I’m also probably
interested in what my psychological profile would look
like.”

“I’ve told you that I’m putting
aside my method of work; that I have to have a completely different
approach.”

“Different in what way? Do you
already know that or do you need time to think? We can end this
conversation now…”

“We will not interrupt it. I don’t
want to think, because the usual patterns will prevail. I will ask
you everything that I think of. And then I will see where it leads.
If it leads anywhere at all.”

“Go ahead, ask.”

“OK… What would be the conclusion
of your true, sincere doctoral thesis?”

“What do you think,
Doctor?”

“The purpose of my life is the
destruction of all living things.”

“I wouldn’t agree with that…
entirely. First of all, Doctor, ‘destruction’ is not the right
word. Non-living things are destroyed. Life is exterminated. I
would put it like this ‘I would exterminate all life, if I had the
opportunity.’”

Chapter 124

“Hey, Lucky, what’s with you? Why
are you biting my thumb? You’re silly,” Sayash told Lucky, while
they rested in the shade of an olive tree, on a knoll by the
roadside. “I know why! Your mother didn’t breastfeed you as a baby.
That’s alright… I don’t mind.”

Their conversation was interrupted
by the sound of a truck engine.

“Let go of my thumb, Lucky. The
movie’s started. Come sit in my lap so we can watch. A truck is
coming down the road, Lucky. I’ve seen many such movies. An empty
road, and a vehicle appears. This could be interesting,
Lucky.”

Lucky let go of Sayash’s thumb and
sat in his lap. Sayash stroked him between the ears.

“Look… the truck has stopped. Has
it broken down? Another one will come now, and they will connect
themselves with a giiiiaaaant shoelace, and the second one will
pull it. I know, I’ve seen this movie… Wait, wait, Lucky, it’s not
that movie… this is a different one… this truck is carrying some
children. I haven’t seen this one. I really haven’t…”

The driver came out and lowered the
side of the truck.

“Is the actor going to wake the
children? Lucky? Do you see them; they’re asleep like
angels.”

The driver returned to the cabin. A
piston raised and tilted the trailer.

“What is this nonsense?” Sayash
commented excitedly. “What does the truck think, that it’s an
amusement park ride, or what? Hey truck, don’t you see that the
children are asleep? They don’t want to play and be jerked around
now!” Sayash was annoyed while the children’s bodies fell by the
road. “Lucky, do you see how stupid this truck is?!”