The Grasshopper (41 page)

“Manami, please don’t talk that
way. It’s not the end of the world…”

“But not murder… or suicide,”
Manami wasn’t listening to him. “Some type of death, I don’t know…
in a traffic accident… I’m talking nonsense! There’s a war out
there! Countless opportunities for death. A death that conceals
everything, erases everything… like nothing happened.”

“Manami, please stop. Don’t say
anything more. You’re in shock, my love… you’re out of your mind.
Let’s sleep on it…”

“That’s the way it is, Pascal. You
don’t understand it. You’re not that type of man. You’re not
interested in your public image or your place in
history.”

“You’re the only thing that’s
important to me, Manami.”

“I know that, my darling. But you
weren’t interested in those things even before you met
me.”

“I wasn’t, you’re right. I just
wanted to be free.”

“Think about it. What would you do
if I left you?”

“How can you say that to me,
Manami?! I would never say something like that to you!”

“I know. Forgive me… but answer me.
What would you do?”

“I’d kill myself. That very
instant. A bullet to the hearth. In front of you.”

“There, you see how simple it is.
And you tell me that I’m exaggerating. I’m not exaggerating. Julius
too will kill himself… or he’ll kill us… but for his own
reason.”

“I won’t allow him, Manami. Here, I
know what I’ll do. I’ll go out of the shelter and talk to him. Man
to man. We’re not the only adulterers in the world,
right?”

Chapter 147

“Let’s put that aside, Mr.
Grasshopper. You’ve explained what this world is like. You’ve sent
your warning. You’re aware that your mission has been successfully
completed. And that’s why you’re begging me to stop you somehow,”
said Dr. Palladino.

“And Doctor, you now expect me to
raise my revolver and shoot myself?” the Grasshopper
laughed.

“No. I know that’s not how it goes.
I have a different proposition.”

“Do you? What is it? I’ve been
wondering all this time what you will come up with. Where do you
get such self-confidence? This order of yours to turn on energy for
the people was quite cute. I barely kept myself from bursting into
laughter.”

“But you switched it on
nonetheless.”

“Because I can switch it off again
at any time.”

“I know.”

“And decisions that there is no
turning back after require a much stronger reason than my temporary
sympathy.”

“Or an excuse,” said Dr.
Palladino.

“An excuse?”

“Yes. I hear your cry, Mr.
Grasshopper. ‘Come, Dr. Palladino, stop me!’ but I can’t come to
you and kill you. Instead of that I can give you an excuse to kill
yourself. The entire time you have been expecting a good excuse
from me. You can admit that much to yourself.”

“Perhaps. Do you have
it?”

“Perhaps. You’ve been claiming the
entire time that throughout the history of mankind only the excuses
for killing have changed.”

“Exactly.”

“And that they themselves are not
important. That it isn’t at all important whether it is an idea,
membership in a group, greed…”

“Yes. Completely
irrelevant.”

“It is important to exercise the
instinct to kill? Any excuse is good?”

“Precisely.”

“So, if every excuse for killing is
good, then every excuse is good to stop killing, Mr.
Grasshopper.”

“You were very cunning coming up
with that,” the Grasshopper smiled. “Let’s accept that. But these
excuses for killing are in fact notions. They have their names,
they have meaning…”

“The excuse to stop killing which I
place in your hands has both a name and a meaning.”

“And that is?”

“Luck.”

“Luck?” the Grasshopper was
surprised.

“Yes. Do you remember when you told
me how you strived and what all you did to get to the command
desk?”

“I remember.”

“You imposed yourself on Erivan as
the logical choice for his squads, won over his trust, wrote your
doctoral thesis…”

“I know what you’re
saying.”

“What?”

“That in the end it was luck that
decided. Because I told you that it could have happened that I
wasn’t recruited, that I was killed in action, a number of factors…
and that’s true. I still think that.”

“You’re a smart man, Mr.
Grasshopper, a man who knows that despite all the effort,
knowledge, abilities, in life it also takes luck to achieve goals.
You are a man who is reduced to sitting at a command desk thanks to
yourself and to luck.”

“That’s right. I agree.”

“That’s why you are a man who will
allow the world to try its luck one last time. You will allow for
the die to be cast one more time.”

Chapter 148

“First of all, you’re not going
anywhere, Pascal. Second, you’re not listening to me at all or
you’re not understanding what I’m saying. I’m not in shock, Pascal.
I’ve known the entire time that this moment would come. I’m just
thinking intensely right now.”

“Alright, Manami, if that’s what
you want, let’s think together. Let’s say that the mayor decides to
kill only me. That’s emotionally the simplest for him. Do you
agree?”

“I don’t agree,” Manami said
firmly.

“Why? Explain it to me,” said
Pascal.

“He won’t raise his hand against
us. He would never threaten the life of another person. That’s what
I think. But the two of us cannot rely on my opinion, because
Julius was never in such a situation. Humiliated like this. Now I’m
thinking about what he could do. What are the options that he has
available?

“He cannot bring the inspectors to
our shelter to arrest you and take you away, because he knows, he’s
aware that… but even if he wasn’t sure of that, he cannot dismiss
that possibility… that I’d jump on the inspectors, pull you from
them, scream… in front of the children… in front of
Peter.

“Such a scene in front of his son
could destroy Julius. He cannot take such a chance. Even if he were
only to send Noah... or come himself… the same thing would happen
in front of Peter. No… he would never allow that, for any reason.
To be humiliated in front of his son.

“He doesn’t have any choice… Julius
is powerless, Pascal, while we are in the shelter. He must find a
way to get us out of the shelter, all together, all four of us… and
then to somehow separate us… to get you away from us… or you and
me, together, away from the children.”

Manami sat up on the couch and
looked at Pascal determinedly.

“Listen to me very well now,
Pascal! When the time comes that we have to or want to leave the
shelter, the four of us must not be separated even for a
moment.

“Don’t you dare be a hero, defy
anything, feel sorry, feel sorry for someone, because of some
guilty conscious, because of some regret… anything.

“I won’t permit anything! I’m
forbidding everything! You can’t think anything! Or
feel!

“You must constantly repeat to
yourself that the four of us must not be separated. At any cost!
For any reason!

“That’s the only thing you must
think about. And listen to what I tell you. And do what I tell you.
Is that clear, Pascal?”

“It’s clear, my love,” Pascal
whispered.

“What’s the first thing that I told
you, Pascal?”

“I don’t know what you mean,
Manami.”

“What’s the first thing that I
said? What was my first thought? I said that Julius would do
something to himself. Julius… and my father… the two of them would
raise their hand against themselves if that meant that they saved
face. The two of them… that’s how they are… that’s what they are
made of… That’s the type of people they are.”

“And me? What am I made of,
Manami?”

“You, Pascal? You’re not made of
hard materials.”

“So, you think that I’m soft,”
Pascal smiled.

“You are… made of… of love for
me.”

Pascal didn’t say anything. He just
ran his fingers across her hair, her face and her lips.

“Pascal, I couldn’t change any of
that even if I wanted to. I have no guilty conscious. Why would I?
Am I to blame? I’m not to blame. You simply appeared and I fell in
love.

“I too was no stranger to love
before that. No, Pascal,” Manami said thoughtfully. “I learned
about different kinds of love. For my parents, cousins, friends… I
loved Julius, too. And the children, of course. You know very well
how much I love them…

“Julius and I, we had… not only the
two of us… all of us, our family, we had wonderful moments… not
only nice moments… everything was nice… our entire life… organized,
decent… our luxurious ship anchored in a calm port.

“I tell you, Pascal, I knew very
well what love is, even before you. But that love... all those
loves… somehow they… how can I say… they… as my late father would
say, they came with the territory. Do you understand what I’m
saying?

And now this… this is… You’re an
impulsive man… you can explode in an instant, become wild… But
this, what I feel for you, how much I love you… Well, that love,
Pascal, is the truly wild, wildest, crazed, strongest storm! It
washes away everything in its wake! The ship, the port… even the
coastline!... It washes everything away!”

“My love…” Pascal
whispered.

“Don’t think that I’m trawling for
titles. I want that to be clear to you. Like, the Mayor of
Megapolis isn’t enough, and I need the President of
Earth.”

“Manami, really…”

“I thought about that too, Pascal.
I asked myself whether I’m that kind of woman. Are titles important
to me? But I concluded that it isn’t so. That you could be working
in a grocery shop or as a clerk… Anywhere, anything… and the first
time that I saw you I would have fallen in love.”

“Manami… what are you saying, my
love…”

“I would come every day to your
shop to get a glance at you… to force you to fall in love
too…”

“Silly, I would have fallen in love
long before…”

“Pascal…”

“Yes, my love?”

“I can’t talk any more, I can’t
think…”

“I know, my darling… Don’t worry…
Everything will be as you said. The four of us will stay
together.”

“I’m tired, Pascal, of all of this.
I need you… Kiss me, please.”

Pascal moved towards her lips.
Manami gently stopped him by placing her hand on his
chest.

“But not that way,
Pascal.”

“I don’t understand,
Manami.”

“Don’t kiss me that way
now.”

“What way?”

“Shamelessly.”

“Shamelessly?” Pascal
laughed.

“Stop pretending! You know very
well how shamelessly you kiss me.”

“Alright, I won’t kiss you
shamelessly. So tell me, how should I kiss you?”

“Well… like… gently… just
affectionately.”

Chapter 149

“And what would you like, Doctor?”
the Grasshopper laughed. “That we just throw the die or coin, heads
or tails? Tails – I kill myself and the world lives, heads – the
two of us say goodbye and I continue with my work?”

“No,” Dr. Palladino said
calmly.

“So?”

“Russian roulette. The two of us
will play. I will play on behalf of mankind.”

“Why? What’s the
difference?”

“First of all I don’t believe that
if tails fall that you will actually raise the revolver and kill
yourself. And as a participant in the game you will pull the
trigger. And the second thing is only important to me. I couldn’t
bare staying alive after our talks and watch you continue
killing.”

“I understand.”

“When do we start? You have your
famous six-shooter revolver. Charlie, who is in front of the door
has a similar one.”

“Doesn’t it seem to you, Dr.
Palladino, that your self-confidence is turning into arrogance?
That you might anger me?”

“No. I know that you will agree to
Russian roulette. It is such a logical ending. Whoever invented
that Russian roulette, invented it solely for this
moment.”

The Grasshopper was
silent.

“Don’t think. It’s not something to
think about. It has to be an impulse. When do we start?”

“I have to think about it. I’ll get
back to you.”

“No!” Dr. Palladino jumped up from
his chair. “I won’t permit it! It’s not a rational matter, Mr.
Grasshopper! It is a matter of your entire being! It must now say
whether it is an absolute killer who will kill all life or the
greatest serial killer who is begging me to stop him. Which are
you? Tell me – which are you?!!!” Dr. Palladino shouted.