The Friends We Keep (Mischief Bay) (29 page)

“What? No. I don’t. I’m a kid. I don’t want to be a mom. Have you seen what Gabby does in a day? It’s ridiculous. You should get her some help. I don’t want to have a baby. I don’t. I’m fifteen. I want an abortion. You have to let me. Gabby said no, you have to say yes.”

Andrew glanced between the two of them. “You’ve been talking about this?”

Gabby thought about the shouting earlier. “Makayla told me this afternoon. She’s too far along. Plus, it’s not a decision to be made lightly. These are the wrong reasons to have an abortion. I told her she should carry the baby to term and then give it up, if that’s what she wants.”

Makayla stomped her foot. “No. I won’t. I want it out of me now. Dad, tell her!”

Gabby braced herself for the inevitable. The rational discussion that would result in Makayla getting exactly what she wanted. Because that was always what happened.

“No,” Andrew said calmly.

They both stared at him.

“Excuse me?” Gabby felt her mouth drop open and consciously closed it.

Makayla looked equally stunned. “Daddy, you never tell me no.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is,” Gabby said before she could stop herself. “Makayla always gets her way.”

How comical they must look to an outsider, Gabby thought as Andrew’s eyes widened. Everyone slack-jawed in amazement. She supposed that made this one of those life-changing moments people were always talking about. She should try to remember every detail. The problem was, she was exhausted and so ready to move on.

“I want an abortion!” Makayla shouted.

“And I want a daughter who isn’t pregnant,” Andrew roared back. “Now we’re both disappointed.”

Makayla burst into tears. Andrew’s expression turned stricken. Gabby groaned. She went to the teen and hugged her.

“It’s going to be okay,” she murmured.

“It’s not. I hate my life and I hate this baby. I don’t have any friends, school is awful and now I can’t have an abortion.”

Gabby pointed to the door. “Go on downstairs,” she told her husband. “I’ll deal with this.”

He hesitated.

She shook her head. “It’s fine. Trust me. There are powerful hormones at work. Let us work this through.”

He escaped before she could say anything else.

Makayla turned to her and began to cry.

“If only we could harness all our tears,” Gabby murmured. “California wouldn’t have a water shortage.”

“You think this is funny?” the teen demanded.

“I think it’s not tragic. It’s hard, it’s uncomfortable and what you’re going through is going to change who you are, but it’s not the end of the world.”

“It is to me.”

“No, it’s not. You’re going to have the baby. We’ll find a nice couple to take it. This time next year, you’ll be back in school.” She almost said
just like nothing ever happened.
Only she had a feeling there would be scars—at least on the inside.

Her stepdaughter sighed. “You’re really not going to let me get rid of it?”

“I’m really not.”

Makayla surprised her by wiping her face. “Is there any ice cream?”

“I don’t know. Let’s go find out.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Hayley sat in the meeting room of the local church and listened as the women talked. Her friend Shannon had told her about the support group for women trying to adopt a baby. This was her second meeting and it was just as depressing as the first one.

So far she’d listened to stories of failed adoption attempts in multiple counties. Of surrogates who couldn’t get pregnant or made legal trouble. Of IVF and fostering first.

She’d spent the last couple of weeks doing as much research as she could online before attending the group. She knew that everyone wanted an infant and that going through public channels could take years. That private adoption was a matter of knowing the right people, and she wasn’t sure she and Rob did.

The meeting ended and Hayley left without speaking to anyone. It was Thursday and for reasons she couldn’t begin to explain, she drove to Supper’s in the Bag. Maybe she needed a good dose of Morgan to set her world to rights.

The store wouldn’t open for another hour, but Morgan’s SUV was parked in front. Hayley parked next to it, then walked to the glass door and knocked. Morgan appeared a few seconds later and let her inside.

“What are you doing here?” her sister said by way of greeting.

“I thought I’d come by and say hi.”

“Can you talk while chopping because I’m running late.”

“Sure.”

“I don’t suppose you want your old job back?” Morgan asked.

“Not really.”

“I figured. My luck isn’t that good.”

Morgan locked the door behind her, then went back to the prep tables where she was distributing bags of vegetables into bowls. Hayley washed her hands, pulled on gloves, then joined her sister.

“How are things with Brent?”

Morgan wrinkled her nose. “Fine. He annoys me. He’s a man and I tell myself he can’t help it. The kids exhaust me. I need to get away.”

“You were just gone.”

“For three days.”

“How much time do you want to take off?”

“I don’t know. A year.”

Hayley glanced at her sister. “You’re an idiot.”

Morgan stared at her. “Don’t get on me. You’re the one who came here. I didn’t ask for this.”

She continued to rant, but Hayley wasn’t listening. She recognized the psychological trick. Deflect and attack. Possibly not in that order. But that was what her sister was doing. Switching the focus, ignoring the question. It was clever, if not very helpful. Because while they might end up not talking about Morgan, at the end of the day, her sister was still unhappy. Or at least complaining.

“Is the bitching a habit or are you really disgusted with your life?” she asked, interrupting the tirade.

“Excuse me?”

“I know you heard the question. There’s nothing wrong with your hearing.”

Morgan’s eyes widened. “What has gotten into you?”

“I’m tired of playing these games. You’re my family and I want us to be close, but I’m not putting up with your crap anymore. Be nice or we’re done.”

“You don’t get to say.”

“Yeah, I do. At least for my part of it.” Hayley breathed in a very calming sense of power. “Brent couldn’t be sweeter to you. Why don’t you appreciate him more?”

“I appreciate him,” Morgan muttered, turning her attention back to the vegetables. “Why do you have to make such a big deal out of all of this? You always do. It’s exhausting. Is this because of the surgery? Are you still on drugs?”

“And there you go again—sidestepping the question. You’ve always done that, haven’t you? Deflected the difficult conversations. Is that why you never fully grew up?”

Morgan pointed to the door. “Get out.”

Hayley shook her head. “No. You’re not the boss of me. We are going to have a conversation without you yelling or acting like a shrew. Just answer the question.”

“Which one?” Morgan’s voice was a scream. “Which goddamned question?”

“Are you happy with your husband and your kids?”

“Yes!”

The single word was sharp and loud, but Hayley heard the truth behind it. She smiled. “I’m glad. You’re lucky. You kind of have it all.”

Morgan’s mouth opened, then closed. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t. You love me. In your own twisted way.”

“You’re annoying.”

“So are you.”

Morgan picked up a bag of cut broccoli. “I don’t feel lucky. I feel like I’m constantly scrambling. I don’t have a second to myself. Do you know how much laundry I do in a week?”

“You should appreciate what you have.”

Her sister surprised her by nodding. “I know. I’m sorry. You’re still upset about the hysterectomy, aren’t you?”

Upset
didn’t exactly describe what she was feeling, Hayley thought. But it was close enough for this conversation.

“Yes. Every day. I try not to think about it, but it’s always there.”

“Are you and Rob going to adopt?”

“I’m thinking about it. Adoption isn’t easy. Not if we want a baby. There are waiting lists.”

“What about Gabby’s stepdaughter? She’s pregnant. Is she giving her kid up for adoption?” Morgan paused. “Never mind. That would be too hard. They’re in the same neighborhood. You’d never feel like the baby was yours, would you? There would be too much connection.”

“That’s very insightful.”

“I’m not insightful.”

“No, you’re just selfish and bitchy.”

Morgan raised her eyebrows. “It beats being sanctimonious and smug.”

“I’m not smug.”

“You are. Constantly. In your perfect marriage with your perfect husband and friends. But I love you anyway.”

Something she couldn’t remember ever hearing from her sister before. “I love you, too.”

Morgan glared at her. “I’m not interested in being part of one of those ridiculous families that says they love each other all the time. Just so we’re clear.”

Hayley grinned. “No problem. As long as we both remember you said it first.”

“You are so annoying.”

“Back at you. Now give me the celery and I’ll chop it.”

* * *

Nicole handed over the frosted cupcake. Jairus dusted it with sprinkles and put it next to the others. Tyler was having friends over tomorrow and she wanted to get the baking out of the way. Jairus had offered to help.

He studied their completed cupcakes. “Nice. We’re a good team.”

“If only you did windows,” she teased. “Then this would be perfect.”

“I have the name of a company that does windows. Does that count?”

“Not in the least.”

She carried the empty frosting bowl over to the sink and filled it with water. There were a dozen cupcakes. Eight for tomorrow and four for them. Well, three and one spare that she was planning on sending home with Jairus.

Because, despite the fact that they had been lovers for a few weeks now, he wasn’t spending the night. She was careful about that. Their time together consisted of stolen moments. No matter how much she enjoyed having Jairus around, she didn’t want Tyler getting too attached. In case things didn’t work out.

When she found herself thinking there was a chance...that this was special, she remembered what had happened with Eric. How he was so disinterested in his only son that he was willing to sign away his rights.

She’d been to a lawyer, had talked to her friends and still didn’t have an answer. Next week she would speak to a child psychologist to get her take on the right path. Forcing Eric to be a father when he didn’t want to be wasn’t right, but letting him simply disappear—was that so much better?

She wanted to believe he would change his mind. That one day he would regret what he was giving up. But she wasn’t sure that would ever happen.

“What are you thinking?” Jairus asked gently.

“The Eric thing. I don’t know what to do. No one has the answer.”

“You’re looking for someone to tell you what to say that will change him. You think there are words that will turn him into someone who wants to spend as much time with his son as possible.” He put his arm around her. “A great sentiment, but it’s not going to happen. Eric is what he is.”

“A selfish jerk?”

“Pretty much.”

She knew Jairus was right. There wasn’t a magical solution. There was only what was best for Tyler.

“Speaking of my son, he’s been quiet for a while.” She started for his bedroom.

Jairus kept pace with her. “He said he wanted to work on a few drawings.”

“Thanks to you, he’s getting good at doing Brad.”

“Maybe he has a future as a cartoonist.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for my son to become your apprentice in the Brad department,” she said with a laugh. “I already feel that dragon overwhelms me.”

“He’s a good guy and you can handle it.”

They walked into Tyler’s room. He sat at his small table. There were crayons spread all around. On the far wall, the nearly finished mural glowed with light and color. It was an impressive piece of art, she thought. A thoughtful gift from a man who genuinely liked kids. Jairus would never walk away from his child. He would give 100 percent.

“What are you working on?” she asked.

Tyler grinned at her. “I did a drawing of all of us,” he said proudly and showed it to them.

The picture was clear. Tyler and Nicole and Jairus stood together, along with Brad. They were all holding hands.

“Cool,” she said, kneeling next to him. “I really like the colors.”

Brad was his usual red, while the rest of them wore clothes.

“You’re getting better all the time,” Jairus told him. “Great trees there in the backyard.”

“Thanks.” He pointed to the paper. “Did you see we’re a family, Mommy? You and me and Jairus and Brad. Brad’s like my brother.”

Nicole nodded and kept smiling. It was easy because she couldn’t actually move and she’d been smiling before he spoke. Cold numbed her and dread made her so heavy, she was a statue. Only her mind kept moving.

The thoughts tumbled through her. Regret. Fear. The knowledge that she should have seen this disaster coming.

She’d been so careful to keep things light. To not let Tyler know she and Jairus had fallen for each other. But her son hadn’t needed to know any of that to assume. To care. All he’d needed was time with a good man. Because while Tyler might not miss his father, he had a hardwired need to have a father figure in his life.

Nicole tried to tell herself that no harm had been done. That Jairus wouldn’t hurt the boy. Only, what happened if the relationship ended? Tyler would be devastated. She’d wanted to spare him that and she hadn’t. She’d put her child in harm’s way. All because she thought Jairus was sexy.

Jairus pulled her to her feet. “We have cupcakes,” he said, his expression tight but his voice friendly. “Want me to bring you one?”

Tyler nodded. “Yes, please.”

Jairus drew her out into the hallway and then down to the kitchen.

“Don’t,” he whispered urgently. “Nothing’s different. Nothing’s changed. Don’t read more into it than there is. I love you, Nicole. I’m not going anywhere.” He grabbed her upper arms and stared into her eyes. “Don’t do anything. I love you.”

She nodded. “I know. I love you, too.”

“Then let that be enough.”

She didn’t say anything. This wasn’t the time or place for the conversation. But she knew what she knew. Loving someone wasn’t enough. Not by a long shot.

* * *

Friday afternoon Gabby worked late. The twins had a playdate until five, which meant she could put in an extra few hours at the office. She’d stayed caught up all of fifteen seconds before the flu attack had seriously derailed her schedule. She figured if she continued to bring work home, she would have everything done in about two weeks.

She was exhausted from only getting four or five hours of sleep a night. Her boss had given her plenty of praise for what she was accomplishing and had hinted she would like to hire Gabby full-time. The thought of having more responsibility had nearly made her weep.

If she had to work forty hours to get paid for twenty, what would it mean to be responsible for forty hours of output? An eighty-hour week? At half pay? Not that she would mind so much if she liked what she was doing, but she didn’t. She wanted to be excited about what she was doing. She wanted to look forward to showing up at the office and hey, she wanted to be paid for the time she put in.

She pulled into the driveway and parked with the car windows down. Despite the detailing, the smell of vomit lingered. She had a bad feeling it was never going away. She got her tote and her handbag, then walked into the house.

For maybe five seconds, there was blessed silence. Just the empty living room and her own quiet breathing. Then Boomer bayed from somewhere in the back of the house and the twins came running out to greet her. She hugged them automatically.

“When did you two get home?” she asked. “I thought I was picking you up at five.”

“Daddy sent Cece to get us,” Kennedy informed her. “She’s staying with us tonight.”

What? Cecelia? But that would mean that she and Andrew were going out. Was there an event she’d forgotten about? Some work function or fund-raiser she would have to rally for?

The thought of it made her want to sink to the carpet and sob. She was bone-weary. She hadn’t totally recovered from the flu before jumping back into everything. She felt as if she hadn’t seen her kids in forever. She wanted to sit and read to them, to bake cookies with the twins and Makayla. Speaking of the teen, nothing had been settled, so that still loomed. Going out? It couldn’t be lower on her list of priorities.

“Where’s your dad?” she asked.

“In his study.”

Gabby dropped her bag and tote onto the sofa, then walked down the hallway. Everyone trailed after her, including Jasmine who trotted to the front of the parade and meowed to be picked up.

Gabby obliged. Stroking the soft fur always made her feel better. Hearing the rumble of the purr eased her tension. She walked into Andrew’s office.

Her husband looked up at her. “You’re home. How was your day?”

“Fine. Why is Cecelia coming over?”

He smiled and rose. “I’m taking you to dinner. I know how hard you’ve been working. I thought you could use a night out.” He winked at the twins. “It was a surprise. Thanks, girls, for not telling Mommy.”