The Complete Groupie Trilogy (84 page)

“Are you crazy?”

Andy and Vanni stood off in the bedroom, he on one side of the bed, she on the other. They hadn’t spoken much about their newest problem all that day. In fact, they had barely spoken at all. They each bore their burden separately and silently, mostly because Andy didn’t know how to reach him now that he had withdrawn into a familiar spiral of self-loathing.

Those rumors about his being a deadbeat dad hit him below the belt and Andy knew it. What had shadowed him most his entire life was being shaded in the same ugly colors as his own absentee father. Now that Holly had tuned up like a bad penny – again – with the claim of being pregnant with his child, Andy knew he was being torn in every direction in order to make things right.

Graham had called them the minute he heard the news. He was quick to assure them he’d investigate first to make sure her claims were valid, and that they shouldn’t panic until they knew the truth.

But the weight of the rumor had eaten at Vanni all day, and he couldn’t stand waiting around for someone else to get to the bottom of it.

He wanted to go see Holly himself.

“She’s lying,” Andy said. “She can’t be pregnant with your child. She was in a fertility clinic in December, remember?”

“That was two months ago,” he reminded her. “We were … together – a lot – two months ago.”

The thought turned Andy’s already queasy stomach. Their little Bean wasn’t taking the stressful news too well, and she’d felt like hell all day long.

“Unprotected sex and a fertility clinic in the same month, Andy. You do the math.”

She sighed as she plopped down on the bed with her back to him. He crawled across to hold her, which she allowed even though she was furious he’d ever even consider going to see that horrible woman. Why give her any sort of a foothold after all she had done to tear them asunder? There were tears in her eyes as she turned to him. “It’s a trap, Vanni. She’s a grifter. She will do or say anything to get you and your money.”

He turned her to face him. “She’s not going to get me. Okay?” He held up her hand and showed her the ring. “You have me. Forever. Nothing is going to change that ever again.” Andy didn’t say anything so he went on. “If money is all she wants, then let’s just give it to her. We’ll pay her off just like we’re going to pay off the Wilkes’ and we’ll get our lives back. You, me, the baby. This is our happily ever after, babe. I’m not going to throw it away over her.” He cupped her face. “I need you to trust me.”

She shook her head. “And I need you to trust me. You go there and she’ll work her magic on you all over again. I know it. She’ll play this poor little victim routine and you’ll crumble just like a dry cookie.”

“Thanks for the faith, babe.”

She touched his face. “You’re a good man, Vanni. You have a big heart… and an ever bigger need to be a good boy who makes everyone else happy.”

That hurt and he withdrew. After the last couple of months, how could she doubt his commitment to her? And if she doubted now, how would she ever trust it once they were married? “I have to do this, Andy.”

“Why? Why can’t you wait for Graham?”

His tone was sharp. “I don’t want to wait for Graham,” he told her bluntly. “Next week, when I go in front of the press, I’m going to announce our engagement and our pregnancy. If you’re right and Holly’s lying, then she’ll take whatever I offer and slither back under the rock she’s been hiding under the last two months.”

“And if she isn’t lying?” Andy wanted to know. As much as she wanted to believe it was a crock of shit, deep down Andy was terrified she was telling the truth. That’s just how things worked in her relationship with Vanni. Whenever they took any steps forward – it was usually right off a cliff.

He gulped. He didn’t have an answer for that yet. He just took her by the hand and touched the ring on her finger. “It changes nothing about you, me, and our future.”

It was all he could promise.

That was no longer good enough for Andy. “I don’t want you to go,” she said. Her eyes met his. “Please don’t go.”

His heart melted at the pain in her eyes. He knew he had put it there through years of squandering her trust. He sighed as he pulled her into his arms. “Okay,” he said. She finally let the torrent loose and cried in his arms. Whether it was hormones or just an emotional release four years in the making, she couldn’t be sure. But she couldn’t stop the tears even if she wanted to. He rocked her gently until her sobs were spent.

He lay in bed wide awake long after she had fallen asleep in his arms. He stroked her hair as he stared out the enormous window opposite their loft bedroom. The ocean reached into the night like a black abyss right outside their door, which was symbolic of the black hole they themselves teetered on thanks to Holly’s reappearance. He wanted desperately to believe Andy and Graham, both of whom tried to convince him that with Holly’s history of lying and manipulation, it was far more likely that sh
e was trying to scam him again.

But anxiety gnawed at his gut as he remembered those last few weeks they had spent together, when he believed she was already pregnant. There had been no real need to curb his robust sexual appetite or give any thought of birth control. And she had been an enthusiastic partner, which he could see in retrospect was because she was trying like
hell to get pregnant for real.

They had sex every day, sometimes twice or three times a day. She had been insatiable, and he was resigned. He had given up on ever being in another relationship with anyone else. He’d missed The One (Andy,) so it really didn’t matter who he married after that. If he was going to have a family with Holly, if he was going to marry Holly, there was no reason not to indulge her every time she made any kind of advance.

She was a beautiful girl, whose sexy innocence had appealed to him from the very first time they met. Truth was he had enjoyed making love to her – only now the thought of wanting anyone else felt like a betrayal of the worst sort.

He sighed again as he glanced down at Andy as she slept in his arms. He’d been such a dick for so long. Why couldn’t he just keep it in his pants and be a grown-up? His voracious lust for “strange” had compromised the integrity of their relationship from the moment Kat winked at him during her first audition to dance for the band.

Hell, it was there from the first time Lourdes had been thrust in his face.

He had to face it… Holly’s being pregnant at the same time he was so happy in his relationship with Andy was just karma finally having the last laugh. He’d gotten away with a lot over the years, eventually he knew the time would come he’d have to make up for the mistakes he’d made. He’d been extraordinarily lucky in all the years he’d bedded whatever sex partner he pleased that he didn’t have a lit
any of kids all over the world.

There was no way he’d escape cosmic justice now, especially when everything else was falling neatly into place. On the outside he was a successful mega star; wealthy, talented and in demand. He had an amazing woman who loved him, and they were expecting a baby… it was more than any man could ever hope to have. Deep inside he was the same kid whose dad ran out on him, who scraped and fought for everything he ever had, yet believed everything worthwhile was more than he deserved. The better life treated him, the more suspicious he got that it would all come crashing down. That’s why he hadn’t been able to fully enjoy his success up until now – he walked a tightrope between excesses. He was either on top of the world… or he was scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Many times he was the author of his own destruction, just so he’d know when the blow was coming. It was so much better than having the rug torn out from under him.

Now that he had his happily ever after with Andy, there could be no other outcome. He always paid the price for his happiness in some form or fashion. That’s why he hadn’t bothered to chase after evidence the first time Holly told him she was pregnant. He expected things to turn to shit, that was just the way life
was for a kid from the streets.

No one was more surprised than Vanni that she wasn’t actually pregnant. He knew he had gotten extraordinarily lucky. That was why he knew it in his heart he wasn’t going to be that lucky again. That would be like winning the lottery twice. Things just didn’t work out that way. He had a debt to pay, and the Universe wasn’t going to be content until he paid it. He’d have bet every last nickel he had on the fact Holly was pregnant, and he was the dad.

He also knew he wasn’t going to be a deadbeat, no matter how complicated their shithole of a situation.

So the next day, when Andy had gone to work at the studio with Shannon, Vanni made his way to Hollywood.

He pulled into the motel parking lot and parked around back out of view. He had to go into his cell phone account to unblock her number, and he called her she answered on the third ring. “What do you want?” she asked in a weak voice that didn’t make him feel any more confident about the situation.

“I ne
ed to see you,” he said simply.

“I don’t think so,” she said. “You made your choice, Vanni. And it wasn’t me.”

“You lied to me,” he replied.

Her voice was so soft he could barely hear her. “I was afraid to lose you,” she said. “I love you, Vanni.”

He closed his eyes and leaned against the headrest of the seat. “What room are you in?”

She paused and he could almost hear her thinking on the other end of the call. “221,” she finally said, then disconnected.

Minutes later he was on the second story landing in front of her door. She opened it quickly and pulled him in before anyone could see. The room reeked of smoke, and looked as though it hadn’t been renovated since the 1970s. The carpet was drab and brown and short shag, the walls were paneled and covered with tacky felt artwork.

There was one double bed in the room, with a sagging mattress and rumpled sheets. A rickety table and two upholstered chairs completed the ambiance, illuminated by a lamp with a stained yellow shade with burn holes on the sides. It was a depressing little hovel of a place, but it looked considerably better than Holly herself.

She had lost at least fifteen pounds she couldn’t afford to lose. There were dark circles under her eyes and her pallid cheeks had sunken in. Her hair was tied back in a greasy ponytail, and the cheap clothes she wore practically swallowed her whole. There was no pregnancy glow like Andy, who was nurtured every day and spoiled rotten with every benefit he could afford to provide. Holly looked as though a stiff breeze would have blown her over.

She motioned for him to sit before she flopped down on the sagging mattress. “So why did you come here, Vanni?”

“I need to know the truth. And I need you to tell it to me.”

She sighed as she pushed a stray tendril that had escaped from her ponytail out of her face. “When we had sex on Thanksgiving, I truly thought we had conceived. I was so in love with you by that point, and I wanted it to happen more than anything. I thought I saw the signs, I even missed my period. When that first test came out negative I thought maybe I had just tested too soon. But by then I knew if I wasn’t pregnant, you would have bolted. And I didn’t want to lose you. Not after I finally had you.”

“So you lied.”

“I thought maybe if we had a bit more time, you’d come to love me too. I knew I could make you happy, to be everything you wanted or needed me to be. By the time I figured out I wasn’t pregnant, you were already talking marriage. I thought maybe if I had a bit more time…”

“You lied,” he repeated.

She nodded. “I started going to a fertility clinic to make sure I’d conceive quickly and you’d be none the wiser. We’d be married… we’d be happy…life would have taken care of itself.” Her lip quivered. “Then I saw that photo of you kissing Andy in the church we were supposed to be married. I realized you were just using me because you couldn’t have her. So I left. And I never contacted you even after I found out I was pregnant for real. I’m letting you free, Vanni. I want nothing. Not even your money.” Her chin tipped. “I want it all or nothing at all.”

He sighed. “How far along are you?”

“Eleven weeks. Near as I can figure I got pregnant mid-December. I’m due September 6
th
.”

“And how can I believe you?”

“You can’t,” she said. “So why don’t you do us both a favor and leave? I’ve survived without anyone so far.”

He looked around the shabby motel. Surviving was a generous word for it. “You know I can’t do that, Holly. If you are pregnant, if it’s my baby, then I want to help.” He paused. “I’m going to help,” he corrected.

Her eyebrow rose. “Is Andy okay with that?”

“My relationship with Andy is really none of your business.”

She nodded, and then held her head. Before he could ask her if she was okay she sprinted to the bathroom.  He heard her vomiting through the closed door. No wonder she had lost weight. He glanced over at the wastebasket for any evidence of her diet. It was loaded with wrappers and fast food bags. Lots of preservatives, no nutritional value. There were also discarded cigarette butts in the ashtray.

He waited until she stumbled out of the bathroom, a wet washcloth against her face. “Who smokes?”