The Codex: An Angel's Guide To Seducing A Human (2 page)

Her cheeks reddened. "You won't."

I closed my eyes and then waved Emily away. "Fine, go stand by the tree and keep your clothes on." 
There are other ways of making this work.

Emily glared at me as she walked away. "No funny business, and the deal is still on. A picture for a dragon!"

"Sure." I bobbed my head to reassure her of my honest intentions. Once she had her back against the old oak tree, I summoned up a quill and sketched on a blank page, starting with her face.

You know, for a human, she isn't bad looking, 
the Codex said as I worked on drawing her slender body. 
You should ask her to face the tree and bend over. Or perhaps we could convince her to...

Unable to understand her cryptic words, I ignored the book and focused on drawing Emily just the way she looked.

After a few dozen strokes, I finished the drawing then admired my work. Lifting my arm, I waved to her to come join me. "I really captured your essence here."

"Done?" she asked, walking back to me.

I nodded and raised my head from the Codex. Flipping the book around, I allowed her to examine the newest addition to the Holy text.

Emily stared at my work, her eyes fixated on the beauty I had created, refusing to look away as her face turned red. She jabbed at the drawing, obviously impressed by the outstanding quality. "W-why am I naked?"

I scratched the back of my head and smiled, proud that she had shown such interest. "No need to thank me. I just used my imagination. As Lord Halfaya once said, 'A creative mind is one's best—'"

Emily snatched the page and ripped my masterpiece apart.

The Codex screamed, and I twitched at the sound of her voice passing through me, dropping the quill in the process.

Before I could react, Emily snapped her fingers and froze the scraps. Then she stomped on the icy fragments, crushing them into dust.

Rage consumed me. I dropped the Codex to my side and let her hang from the chain of my armor while she vibrated in pain. I stretched my hand out before me and summoned a halberd. The weapon materialized into my grasp, and I glowered at the spawn of evil in front of me. "How dare you hurt her again!"

The human's lips quivered and her nostrils flared. She pointed her staff at me. “Stay away from me, you crazy pervert!”

I spread my wings and flew into the air. With my halberd aimed at the offending human, I collected my strength, ready to accelerate towards her and slap her magic stick away before she could hurt the Codex any more. "Prepare yourself—"

Emily mumbled a spell and the orb of her staff glowed blue. Wind whipped about the air above me, chilling my breath into a fog. Next thing I knew, a giant block of ice appeared on top of me and crashed onto my head, pressing me to the ground.

I slammed against the dirt, and hugged the thawed mud that knocked the wind out of me.

With the ice pressing me into the ground, bone-chilling pain radiated from my back and spread to the rest of my body. Gritting my teeth, I let go of my weapon and pushed myself up to my hands and knees, leaving a mold of my face behind.

But the ice holding me down was too heavy, and I collapsed onto the mud again. Exhausted, I barely wiped away the dirt in my eyes and coughed out the bitter soil.

When I looked up, Emily stood in front of me, the blue orb of her staff almost touching my nose. She glared down then kicked my quill towards me. "Draw it again, you perverted angel. 
With
 my clothes on."

Narius

As Emily and I walked on a dirt road surrounded by grassy plains that stretched to the horizons, the oddly pleasant smell of death filled my nostrils and made me drool. The forest was now far behind us, and the sun had almost finished its slow descent.

Emily looked at me, her eyes narrowed. “So, you're not joking right? You're really going to help me?”

I bobbed my head and wiped my mouth. “Promise is a promise.”

“So if you promised to strip off your armor and dance naked, you would actually do it?”

"Sure."

Emily snorted. "I see..."

But before she could somehow force me into another promise, I flapped my wings and jumped over the roasted carcass of a cow lying in the middle of the road. “Why do humans put dead animals on the road?” I asked, glancing back at the blackened meat and the swarm of flies feasting upon it.

“We don't. It’s the dragon, slaughtering the cattle for fun.”

I thought about the crispy body and the charred ground around it. “Dragons are rational creatures. They don’t kill everything they see.”

Emily came to a halt and pointed towards the carcass-strewn field next to us. “Then how would you explain all of this?”

“Maybe it wasn’t the dragon?”

Emily’s face wrinkled as she walked on ahead. “Right... and you are an oversized pigeon. Come on. I don’t want to be outside when it gets dark.”

Thrilled that I had changed her misguided view, I smiled and followed her.

After trekking down the dirt road in silence, a cluster of wooden dwellings came into view with a signpost that read, "Welcome to Greener Pasture." Beyond the helpful sign, glimpses of candlelight escaped from the cracks in the shutters, casting slashes of light on the deserted street.

“Does the dragon live here?” I asked.

Emily closed her eyes and sighed. “No. We need to find a place to sleep.”

Happy to help, I pointed to a field that was relatively free of dead cattle. “How about over there? It looks dry.”

Emily shuddered, dismissing my reasonable suggestion. She turned towards a two story, wooden building with the words “Singed Beef Inn” etched into the door. Below the sign there were several hurtful words crudely scratched into the wood about the dragon. From inside, faint sounds of conversation along with a delightful smell seeped through. 
What is this place?

It’s an inn,
 the Codex said. 
A place where humans sleep.

I scratched my head. 
Why would they need one big place to sleep?

Because humans need to get together and combine themselves.

Combine?

Well, think of it this way. There is a key and a key hole, and when the two meet, they sometimes jam…

Emily

The angel was acting strange again. He nodded to himself, his short, ruffled brown hair rising up and down while his tome hung from his waist, vibrating against his armor every so often. 
Are all angels like this?
 “Narius, what are you doing?"

The idiot jerked his head and stared at me, his hazel eyes visibly confused. “Why do you have a building for opening doors? Why not take the lock out of it all together? Or just have the key already in the door?”

Unable to comprehend his madness, I opened the door, half-wishing he wasn't following me like a lost puppy.

Inside, flames struggled on candle stubs, casting shadows across drunken farmers. As expected, the smell of sour wine and rotten beer made my nose crinkle. I stepped into the inn, and nobody even glanced at me, except for a creep in a dark corner, his eyes fixated on my skirt.

However, as soon as the feathered idiot entered, his plate armor clanking with every step, conversations died, and all eyes turned to us.

The angel placed his hand on my shoulder. "They’re terrified of you. Smile," Narius said with a dumb grin splitting his face. "Clearly, they didn’t expect a violent and evil—"

I swiveled around and gently smacked him on the top of his head with my staff. “Quiet.”

The angel clutched his head and moaned, all the while staring at me with his naïve, innocent eyes.

I winced and, feeling a bit guilty, turned my attention to the rest of the room where the patrons stared back at me, their eyes wide and mouths stretched open.

“She must be a witch,” one of the drunks said to his buddy. “What has this world come to? An angel being used as a slave? If I was ten years younger, I'd stand up to that witch."

His companion chuckled. "Stand up to her? That’s it? Ha! If I didn’t have this... umm... awful cold, I would have struck her down with my massive—"

I slammed the butt of my staff onto the wooden floor and chilled the air with magic. The candles flickered, casting unsteady shadows everywhere.

The drunken fool with the supposed cold didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he tipped the tankard in his hand and spilled most of his beer down his shirt. He frowned at his chest with a confused look as he took a sniff. “Did you pee on me, Fredrick?”

Ignoring his friend, Fredrick kept his eyes on me with beer trickling down his chin. “I bet she enchanted him with her… ummm… sorcery.”

Is the world filled with idiots?

Narius placed his hand on my shoulder again and shook his head. “Nothing like that. I just drew her naked body.”

Heat rose to my face. I turned around to look the petty angel in his eyes. “So this is how it’s going to be?”

He glanced down at his blue book. “Yes?”

“Fine,” I muttered, avoiding the gaze of the drunkards leering at me, and stepped up to the bar. A balding middle-aged man in a dirty brown apron busied himself by wiping a mug with an old handkerchief that stained the glass more than cleaned it.

Narius trailed behind me and gasped in delight at the colorful bottles behind the counter.

With the angel distracted for the moment, I reached into my pouch and placed four copper coins onto the bar. “Two rooms, please.”

The innkeeper pushed a pair of rusted iron keys across the bar. “Upstairs.” He slipped the coins into his pocket, his eyes looking me over. “Hey, are you the adventurer sent—"

Narius leaned across the bar and sniffed at the man. “You smell like a rotting book.”

Curious, I took a whiff as well. The man did smell a little odd, like an exotic perfume, but nothing rotten. I shook my head and focused on the task at hand. “My name is Emily Bryant from the Silver Lining’s Guild.”

The man crossed shaky his arms. “It's about time. I issued the contracts weeks ago.” He gave a nervous glance to Narius. “Pannaxx needs to be dealt with before he cooks any more of our cattle.”

I tapped my finger against the counter. “You know how this works. Do you have the reward?”

He nodded. “Take care of the damned dragon, and it’s all yours.”

My lips twitched at the thought of having a pouch full of gold jingle at my side. With it, I would finally be able to pay the guild's debts. “Good. I’ll deal with him tomorrow. For now, send us meals for two.”

The innkeeper revealed surprisingly clean teeth in a crooked smile. “Anything for a saint and her guardian angel.”

Narius snickered. “If she's a saint, I am an archangel.”

I pinched his wing, but he didn’t seem to notice. So, I smiled, suppressing the urge to punch him in the face. Stuffing one of the keys into Narius’s hand and taking the other one for myself, I ignored the rude stares of the patrons and started up the worn steps.

Instead of following me, Narius studied the key in his hand. “Interesting... now I just need to find a lock. But wait. This is a trade, right? You gave him copper coins, and he gave you the keys?”

“Yes, Narius. This is called a trade. One of the 
basic
 functions of a civilization.”

He held up the key and brought it up to his face. “So I will need to pay.”

“Relax, birdy. I already paid.”

“But I didn’t.” Hooking the key onto the chain that held his book, the angel leaned forward and laid a hand on the innkeeper’s bald spot.

The color on the man’s face drained away, his eyes shifting between me and the touchy angel. “W-what are you doing, Your Holiness?”

A burst of light escaped from the angel’s hand. “Paying.”

Instinctively, I shielded my eyes from the blinding flash. Moments later, it faded away, and my vision returned. I lowered my hands just in time to see Narius back away to reveal a forest of lush brown hair on the innkeeper's head where a barren wasteland existed only seconds ago.

The man ran his fingers through his hair several times. He fell to his knees with tears and mucus running down his face. “Praise the gods! I’m handsome again.”

Narius shook his head. “I am afraid my power cannot heal that much.”

Unfazed by the angel’s veiled insult, the man wiped his face with the back of his sleeve. “Thank you! Thank you for giving me a second chance at life! I promise I’ll take good care of them this time. I will never have hot baths or wear hats!”

I took a step towards the angel, to take him away, but in a blink of an eye, the rest of the villagers had joined in on the worship, rushing towards the angel with glee in their eyes, some stripping off their clothes and showing various body parts that ailed them. Among them was another bald man who clutched his head with tears in his eyes. “Touch me next!”

Pushed aside by the mob, I sat on the dusty staircase and sighed. 
This is going to take a while.

Narius

After spending time with the humans who were delighted by my ability to grow hair, fix rotting teeth, and heal sore backs, I was getting a little tired with the never-ending requests. Still, it felt good to help them.

I touched the next human in line, a young woman with a face populated by pimples, and healed her until only smooth skin remained. "Do you need anything else —"

"That's enough." Emily grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the humans who grumbled their displeasure at her.

I wanted to protest, but before I had the chance, she dragged me upstairs and into a dark room that smelled like a bookshelf full of moldy books. The violent human slammed the door shut behind her and muttered a spell, causing the orb of her staff to emit a steady light that illuminated the whole room.

Everything in the room was fascinating, from the small window bringing in the moonlight, to the wooden table with a pair of quaint but rickety chairs in one corner, to the lumpy-looking brown bed with yellow-stained bed sheets. They were all so simple in design and poorly built. 
Wait. Where are all the books? I don't remember seeing a library downstairs.

Books? You are alone in a room with a girl! Think about all the fun games—

Emily shoved me against the wall. She glared up at me, her face was so close to mine, and a scent of mint wafted from her body. “What do you think you were doing down there?”

“Touching people?”

She jabbed her finger at my chest. “Exactly. I don’t know how easily angels tire after using a spell, but you look exhausted. If you want to touch them that badly, you can come back after dealing with Pannaxx and heal them.”

“They were hurt and needed my help. You don't have to be so cold.”

Emily backed away. She walked over to the table and leaned her staff against it before turning to me. With her hands on her hips, she frowned. “Cold?”

“Some of them were in pain. Maybe if you weren’t so mean-spirited—"

Her lips twitched. “’Mean-spirited?’ I’m the kindest person in all of Lodina. Both the capital city and the kingdom.”

“Pfft. Then Tristana’s flock has clearly failed at teaching you about their virtues.” I shrugged. “Only an evil human would hunt down other creatures for a reward.”

Emily smacked me in the head with her hand, proving my point.

I grasped my head and moaned in pain, wishing I had worn a helmet.

“The only thing that’s evil is the dumb beast roasting half the cattle and leaving them to rot, and if I fail, the people here are going to be at the mercy of a barbeque-crazed dragon!”

“Dragons are intelligent creatures. They don’t terrorize humans for fun. In fact—"

Someone rapped against the aged wooden planks of the door.

Giving Emily a glare, I opened the door and found a tray on the floor filled with steaming food.

Unsure of what I should do, I lifted the tray and laid it on the table then sat down on the chair that creaked under my weight. “I still think you humans are overreacting. Dragons aren't violent like you.”

Emily glowered. Clenching her hands, she sat down in the chair across the table.

Avoiding her gaze, I studied the objects on the tray. With no idea what they were, I opened the Codex and ended up on a page that identified the dishes in front of me as roasted tuna, tomato soup, and a loaf of brown bread. “So, what are we supposed to do with these?”