The Choosing (19 page)

Jerath wants to believe her, wants to believe Meren and Torek didn’t betray them and that it was all just a terrible misunderstanding. He wants it so badly he can almost taste it. But something holds him back from jumping down to meet them.

“Oh for the love of our Goddess!” Mahli shouts and throws her hands in the air. “I know you’re around here somewhere. I’m cold and tired and if you two don’t come out right this minute, I swear I will shift and hunt you down. And it won’t be pretty when I find you!”

Serim is out of his arms before he can stop her. She drops down to the ground with feline grace and barely a sound, but Mahli spins around and screams her name. She grabs two bundles from one of the men and runs toward Serim, then drops them on the ground at her feet. They hug and laugh and Jerath smiles at their tearful reunion, but he’s still reluctant to join them.

He looks back at the approaching group of men and finds Meren almost immediately. He’s looking around, searching vainly in the dark, and Jerath’s heartbeat falters. Meren is searching for
him
. He can see the look of disappointment when Meren can’t find him, and Jerath’s hand tightens on the branch beside him.

Mahli eventually pulls back from Serim and wipes at her eyes. “Here.” She reaches down and grabs one of the bundles. She holds it out and Serim takes it, untying it carefully to reveal several items of clothing. “We found yours, and the tattered remains of Jerath’s, earlier. I brought you both some new ones.”

Serim smiles and quickly puts them on.

“Where’s Jerath?” Mahli finally asks as Serim gets dressed.

Serim looks at the ground and sighs, but shakes her head. “I can’t say.” Mahli starts to speak but Serim cuts her off. “He’s hurting, Mahli. Give him time.”

Jerath feels a fierce burst of love for her as she stands in front of everyone and refuses to give him up, even when she thinks it’s the right thing to do. Mahli’s shoulders slump and she turns back to Meren and shakes her head.

Jerath watches Meren, unable to look away. He turns to speak to Torek, who squeezes his shoulder, then walks toward Serim and Mahli. Meren’s close now, and Jerath wants to reach out and touch him, but he just can’t do it.

“Hey, Serim.” Meren’s voice is soft and uncertain and it sounds so wrong coming from him. “I don’t understand what happened.”

Serim’s shoulders tense and she bristles. “Well, that makes two of us, Meren.”

“I left you in Torek’s house to go get my father, and when I got back you were both gone.” He looks around again and scratches the back of his neck. “What happened?”

“We saw you coming back and….” She stops and clenches her fists, and her chest rises and falls as she attempts to calm down. “The men with you were the same ones who attacked our village.”

“What?” Both Mahli and Meren speak at once.

Serim looks at Mahli then, pointing a finger at her as if she’s only just remembered. “What are you even doing with them, Mahli?”

Mahli puts a hand on Meren’s arm to stop him from whatever he’s about to say. “I’ve got this.” She looks at Serim and gently takes both Serim’s hands in hers. “Serim, Meren’s father and his men came to warn us about the raiders.” Her voice cracks, and Jerath wants to pull her into his arms. It must have been twice as awful to have watched them actually being taken. “But they were just a few hours too late.”

“Why didn’t they go after them then?” Serim snaps.

“Because there weren’t enough of them on their own and we still had wounded to tend to!” Mahli shouts angrily, and Jerath flinches at her tone.

“Wounded?” Serim chokes out the words. “Did anyone…?”

“No.” Mahli’s expression softens. “No one died. But Serim, you need to trust me when I tell you that Malek only wants to help. He and his men are going to take us to get them all back.”

Serim looks over at Meren and offers him a tentative smile.

“Just come to the village and we’ll explain everything in the morning.” Meren smiles back when Serim nods. “What about Jerath? I don’t want to leave him out here on his own, but….” Meren sounds defeated, and Jerath has had enough of hiding.

He jumps onto the ground and slowly straightens up to meet Meren’s eyes. The initial flash of relief he sees there is soon replaced by hurt and confusion. Jerath swallows thickly as he realizes he’s not the only one who feels as though he’s been betrayed.

Mahli picks up the second bundle and throws it at him. She waits for him to get dressed before jumping into his arms, and Jerath stumbles back a bit at the force of her hug. She slaps him hard and shouts at him for hiding, but it’s mixed in with tears and laughter as she tells him how good it is to see him.

They break apart when Meren clears his throat.

Jerath takes a hesitant step toward him. “Meren, I—”

“Let’s get back. It’s late,” Meren cuts him off with a harsh look.

“Meren…
please
. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to think….”

Meren just shakes his head, then turns on his heel without another word and walks over to join the rest of his men.

“Come on.” Mahli follows and pulls Serim and Jerath along with her. “We’ll sort out this mess in the morning.” She leads them back over to the group of men, where they greet Caleb and a couple of others. Jerath hasn’t seen Caleb since that day at the barn with Kyr, and it’s so good to see another familiar face. They talk quietly between themselves as they start the long walk back to the village, but Jerath only half listens. He wants to know what happened, of course he does, but he can’t concentrate on anything when Meren is so close but ignoring him completely.

Serim notices and nudges him gently. “It’ll all work out, Jerath. You two just need to talk to each other, on your own.”

Jerath looks at the determined set of Meren’s shoulders as he marches on ahead and prays Serim is right.

M
AHLI
and the rest of the people from Eladir are staying in a group of tents at the far end of the village. There’s a fire in the middle—just like Meren’s camp when they were out hunting—and Jerath feels a pang of longing.

It’s too dark to really see much of their surroundings, but judging from the length of time it took to walk from one end to the other, Meren’s village is a lot bigger than he was expecting. Apart from Caleb, there are ten others who have made the journey south and they are all now congregated around the fire. Jerath doesn’t know the rest of them all that well, so he sticks by Serim, Caleb, and Mahli.

It was Torek who got them settled in their tents; Meren left them as soon as they arrived back, with a nod and a curt good night. Jerath understands Meren has every right to be angry. It seems to be a huge misunderstanding, mainly on Jerath’s part, but Meren won’t even give him the chance to explain.

He says as much to Serim, and she then points out that they didn’t give Meren a chance to explain either, and Jerath is back to feeling guilty again. The whole thing is giving him a pounding headache, and he just wants to crawl into bed.

He’s not exactly clear on everything that’s happened since he and Serim left to go fishing, what seems like a lifetime ago, but he’s too tired to discuss anything further tonight. Someone has hastily erected an extra tent for him and Serim to share, and Jerath is initially beyond grateful, as the last thing he feels like is being alone tonight. But when he looks over at Serim and Mahli together, chatting animatedly and still with the odd burst of laughter or tears, he knows Mahli needs her more than he does.

“Serim?” He walks over to them and plasters on his best smile. “I’m going to bed. Why don’t you sleep in Mahli’s tent tonight? I’m sure you’ve got lots to catch up on.”

Serim immediately starts to protest, but Jerath puts his fingers over her mouth. “It’s fine, honestly.” She looks at him intently for a few awkward moments, and Jerath tries to look as sincere as possible. She must like what she sees, because she beams up at him and whispers, “Thank you,” as she hugs him good night.

He gives Mahli a hug too, holds on to her for a moment longer than he normally would, and takes the opportunity to breathe her in.

“I missed you two so much,” she whispers into his chest. “I thought they’d taken you too.”

Jerath pulls back but doesn’t let go of her. “We missed you too.” He beams at her, big and wide and it’s no effort at all this time.

“Jerath!” Mahli squeals and points at his mouth. “When did you get your fangs and why didn’t you tell me?”

He glances at Serim and she grins at him in return. “That’s nothing.” He lifts off his shirt and turns his back to Mahli and laughs at the shocked noise she makes when she sees his tattoo. He lets her look for a moment longer before he puts his shirt back on and turns to face her.

She looks between him and Serim with narrowed, knowing eyes. “I want to know everything!”

“I think I’ll leave that to Serim.” Jerath laughs at Mahli’s protests and heads off toward his tent. He has no wish to be part of that conversation.

He’s almost there when Torek appears out of the shadows. “I know you had your reasons, Jerath. But your lack of trust hurt Meren a great deal.”

Jerath stops and turns to face him. He fully expects Torek to be angry as well, but he just looks tired and a little sad. “I need to talk to him, Torek.”

“Yes, you do. But he’s very stubborn.” He shakes his head and smiles ruefully. “According to Serim, you two are very similar in nature.”

“I’m not stubborn.” Jerath will be having words with Serim in the morning.

Torek laughs and reaches up to pat Jerath on the shoulder. “I’ll work on him tonight, Jerath.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet—he’s not in the best of moods right now.”

Jerath watches Torek leave and then enters his tent.

D
ESPITE
being as tired as he is, it takes Jerath a long time to fall asleep. He tosses and turns. The magic of his bond feels unsettled and antsy while he and Meren are on such bad terms. Eventually, exhaustion wins out and Jerath finally stills underneath the fur bedding.

He has no idea how long he’s been out when he hears the faint rustling of someone entering the tent. His senses are aware even when sleeping, and his eyes snap open at the sound. His vision adjusts to the dark almost straightaway but it takes him a moment longer to register who’s standing at the foot of his bed.

“Meren?”

“Shh….” He puts his finger to his lips and steps closer. “Torek said we needed to talk.”

Jerath takes a moment to catch up. His brain is sleep-muddled and he’s still processing Meren’s words when he speaks again.

“I shouldn’t have come. It’s the middle of the night. I just… I needed to….” He looks down at the ground and shuffles his feet. “Yeah… okay. I’m going—”

“Wait.” Jerath sits up in bed and the furs pool around his waist. His skin is pale and luminous in the dark. He has no idea how well Meren can actually see, but Jerath doesn’t miss the way Meren’s gaze flicks down to his chest. “We do need to talk.” Jerath gestures to the end of his bed, and Meren hesitates before walking forward and sitting down.

Meren looks uncomfortable, his body tensed as if he’s going to jump up and leave at any moment. Jerath knows this isn’t going to be easy, but he feels the magic thrum through his veins as the bond settles in Meren’s presence, and he knows he has to fix things between them. He studiously ignores the fact that after all this is over, they’ll be separating for good. Although it won’t be complete, the potential bond will be strong enough to make it incredibly hard for Jerath to leave. But he’s willing to face that problem when it happens, because he might never have this again.

Meren stares at him, and Jerath realizes he’s waiting for Jerath to start speaking.

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to stay.” Jerath holds up a hand when Meren starts to interrupt. “There was a very good reason why we ran, Meren.” Jerath closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. “At least we thought so at the time.”

Meren raises an eyebrow, but remains silent.

So Jerath tells him. He explains that the men he and Serim saw in Eladir were in fact Meren’s father and some of his men. He tells Meren how they thought the men were with the raiders who took his people prisoner, and that when they saw them here, with Meren, they panicked and fled.

“We didn’t know what to think, Meren.” Jerath itches to reach out and touch him, but he keeps his hands firmly planted in his lap. “We saw your father and our first instinct was to run away. Do you understand?” Jerath’s heart beats furiously. He’s said all he can. Now it’s up to Meren.

The silence is heavy between them as Jerath waits for him to say something.

“You should have trusted me, Jerath.” His voice is soft, but Jerath hears all the hurt behind his words. “I know you haven’t known me long, but I thought with the”—Meren waves his hand between them—“bond and everything, mutual trust was implied.”

Jerath doesn’t quite know what to say, because Meren’s right. When shifters bond, the trust between them is complete and unwavering. “Yes, that’s true for bonded pairs. But we haven’t completed our bond, Meren.”

Meren just nods as though he expected that. “I still thought you trusted me, though.” He rubs a hand over his eyes, and when he drops it back down, Jerath flinches at the expression on his face. “I trusted
you
enough to believe everything you told me. I brought you to my village to talk with my father, Jerath.”

Jerath hangs his head, unable to meet Meren’s eyes, because all of that’s true. They took Jerath and Serim into their camp, with just their word for what had happened. But a small part of him still feels he had every right to be wary when he first saw Meren and his father.

“I know you did,” Jerath answers. “And Serim and I can’t thank you enough. But when we saw you and your father together, it seemed like you’d just bought us back here to add to your prisoners.” He sighs heavily. “I’m eighteen years old, Meren. This is the first time I’ve been away from my home, and my judgment may be lacking in certain areas. We thought we were the only hope left for our village, so I think we had every right to be cautious.”