The Atonement (49 page)

“In the kitchen,” she replied.

Just then the kitchen door opened and Vernon
came in carrying some catalogues and a few pieces of snail mail. He
stopped when he saw Allyson, who just kept staring down at her mug
of tea.

“What’s going on in here? And where’d you
come from?” asked Vernon.

“Allyson just stopped by to chat,” said
Lena.

“Uh-oh, another long face. What done happened
to you?”

“Nothing really. I just broke up with my
boyfriend, that’s all,” answered Allyson.

“Another one. Girl, how long was you seein’
this boy?” said Vernon.

“A couple of weeks I guess,” said
Allyson.

“A couple of weeks! You ain’t got no business
making that pretty face all long for some knucklehead you knew for
a few weeks. You young folks today don’t know nothin’ bout no
courtin’. Y’all get involved too deep too fast. You got to take
your time with this kinda thing – go slow,” said Vernon.

“And he should know. It took him almost 2
years to pop the question to me,” said Lena.

“That’s right. I had to make sure you loved
me as much as I loved you,” said Vernon.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” said
Lena.

“I know,” he said kissing her on the
cheek.

Allyson couldn’t help but smile at their
display of affection.

“Is that a smile I see?” remarked Vernon.

“Maybe,” said Allyson.

“You gotta pretty smile, girl. You could
probably get any of these boys you want. I’d ask Allen to take you
out, but he’s too busy actin’ like a fool right now. Holed up at
yo’ brother’s place over some girl. You talked to him today,
Lena?”

“Yes.”

“What he say?”

“He’s determined to stay there until Jimmy
leaves. He even asked me to come get his laundry.”

“That boy got some nerve. Don’t you go
nowhere. This foolishness has gone far enough. I’m letting him know
that I expect him to bring his behind home by the end of the week
and if he don’t, I’ll come over there and make him wish he had. Now
if you’ll excuse me. Evenin’ ladies.”

The ladies wished him goodnight before he
turned and stormed up the stairs.

“It’s getting late and I better be getting
back,” said Allyson.

“You sure?” asked Lena.

“Yes. I have things I have to do
tomorrow.”

“Alright then, but remember what I said.”

“I will. Goodnight – Mama Lena.”

“Goodnight, Ally.”

“Mama Lena?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Just so you know. I don’t think you’re
crazy.”

Forty-six

Tamiko was sitting at her
vanity trying to make up her mind about how she wanted to style her
hair, but as she deliberated stray thoughts kept weaving their way
into her head. She tried to comb them away along with the few loose
strands of damaged hair, but it was no use. She was not thinking
about Davis. Tamiko was actually surprised with how quickly she was
able to come to terms with the fact that she and Davis were not
going to be a couple. Although she was feeling some disappointment
that evening after he had left, it was far from the total
devastation she expected. She ended up going back upstairs to her
room to pray and read her Bible, turning to the book of Matthew to
read about the last supper.
¹
It was this particular portion
of the Bible that she was meditating on at the moment.

She had read the part where
Jesus prophesied about Peter’s denial. Peter was sure that he would
never deny Jesus. He professed his loyalty and his love. However,
the word of the Lord could not be denied and he did in fact deny
his Lord. Yet, Jesus would make Peter the chief Apostle on which
the church was built. It gave Tamiko pause for a moment. She
thought about what she knew about Peter from the scriptures. Peter
often spoke before he thought
²
, acted
hastily
³
, and denied his Savior
⁴
. Given his pattern of
behavior, it didn’t seem like he was worthy of being a chief
Apostle. If Tamiko had had a say back then she probably would’ve
suggested Peter be kicked out of the twelve entirely, but Christ
overlooked his shortcomings. He would even die to atone for them.
It was like what Riley had told her earlier: God sees what we
can’t. Christ’s decision to choose Peter was not based on who he
was in that moment or who he used to be, but was based on what He
already knew He would make Peter into. This revelation caused
Tamiko to reflect on how she had been judging people lately. The
awakening that followed humbled her and caused her to re-think her
understanding of relationships.

“
You don’t choose to love
someone because they’re perfect, rather, in spite of their
imperfections you’ve chosen to love them. I guess I would want
someone to feel the same way about me. After all, I’m not perfect
either,” thought Tamiko to herself. Then she made a
decision.

“You do realize you’ve been combing your hair
for the past 20 minutes. I think you’re good, Miko,” said Riley
breaking into Tamiko’s train of thought as she squeezed next to her
on the vanity seat.

As Tamiko looked at her cousin’s reflection
in the vanity, she was floored. Riley had straightened her hair,
which was now hanging loose and flowing over her shoulders. She was
also wearing a navy blue, silk, sleeveless v-neck dress with a
flared skirt that gently caressed her hourglass figure, paired with
some two-inch leopard print heels. Riley was absolutely stunning.
Tamiko always knew that Riley had the ability to shape shift from
tomboy to princess but she didn’t expect her to do it for this
occasion.

“You’re certainly showing out tonight. What
happened to the silk army pants I thought you were going to
wear?”

“I changed my mind,” she said as she began to
finish styling her hair. As Tamiko looked at their reflections in
the mirror, her heart sank. All of a sudden her blue and white
bib-front, tie neck blouse and navy skirt made her feel like an old
lady.

“Is this your attempt to impress Tim?”

“Girl, I don’t have to attempt anything. He
will be impressed. You can bet your last dollar on that.”

Riley was right. The way she looked now, she
was exactly the kind of girl Tim would drool over. It made Tamiko
feel faint.

“You’re actually going through with this?
You’re going to try to hit on Tim?”

“I’m no slut. I’m not gonna hit on him. It’s
called getting to know him and seeing if he would like to court me,
as daddy would say.”

“I can’t believe you would play with Tim’s
feelings like this.”

“Who said I’m playin’? You’re not the only
one that can like somebody.”

“Oh, don’t even go there. You know you’re
only doing this to prove a point.”

“And what would I be trying to prove?”

Tamiko didn’t want to go there. Despite her
recent realizations, a part of her was still afraid to face her
true feelings.

“Never mind.”

“No, not never mind. Why is this such a big
deal for you?”

“Tim is my friend, and I don’t want to see
him get hurt.”

“Really? You sure this doesn’t have anything
to do with the fact that Davis gave you a pink slip the other
night?”

“What?!”

“I was sitting in the kitchen listening to
his confession, in case you didn’t know.”

“You were eavesdropping?!”

“Don’t act surprised. You know that’s what I
do. So now that Davis is not available, you want me to back off of
Tim so he can be your backup? Is that it?”

“No, absolutely not! I would never do
that!”

“Then you’re going to use Tim to make Davis
jealous so he’ll come running back?”

“No!”

“So what is it then? Last week, I asked you
who you wanted and you said that was Davis, but now that he’s not
interested it seems like you’re changing your mind.”

“I do like Davis. Despite what he told me, I
still think he’s a good guy. If he wasn’t he wouldn’t have been as
honest with me as he was. But…that night, our conversation led me
to think about things.”

Tamiko put her comb down on the table and
looked down.

“Like what?”

“Like the reasons why I liked him. I liked
Davis because I thought he was a safe choice for a perfect
marriage. But I’ve learned there’s no such thing as a safe choice,
even if you share the same faith. Everyone has something that they
struggle with, whether they’ve been with the Lord five days or
fifty years. No one is perfect.”

“There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage
either.”

“You’re right, and Davis deserves someone who
sees him as more than just a safe choice. Everyone should have
someone who appreciates and loves them for who they are. You know,
take their good with their bad, the highs with the lows.”

“For richer or poorer, better or worse…”

“Exactly. You trust God first and each other
second. It’s funny because I accused Davis of being afraid of
getting hurt, when I was the biggest chicken in the henhouse. But
now I understand that I can’t let my fear get in the way of what I
know in my heart.”

“Which is?”

“I don’t know when it happened or how,
but…Tim reaches a part of me that no other guy can come close to.
For a while I’ve tried to deny it, and unfortunately my attention
to Davis was a part of that. But I can’t do that anymore.”

“Snowy’s player past doesn’t bother you?”

“That’s who he used to be. Nowadays when
we’re together I don’t really see that guy anymore. I see the man I
believe God is making him into.”

“I guess you are calling backsies, then.”

“Sorry, cuz.”

“You should be – you should’ve been honest
from the beginning instead of leading Davis on, and making Snowy
feel like the third wheel.”

“I know, I know.”

“Are you going to tell Snowy how you
feel?”

“I don’t know. Just because I feel that
deeply for him, doesn’t mean he feels the same way about me.
Besides, the last time I did that, the guy ran.”

“The last time you were lying.”

“I wasn’t lying. I told you – I did like
Davis, but not in the way that I should have.”

“You better tell Snowy before some other
chick, who is not your cousin decides to try to get his
interest.”

“When I’m sure he feels the same way, I will.
Otherwise it will just make things weird between us. The last thing
I need to hear is Tim asking for space.”

“I think he’d ask for less space, not
more.”

“A girl can only hope.”

*****

As Tamiko and Riley approached the entrance
of the Gospel Grill, the former’s heart was melting like the wax on
a lit candle. When they went inside it was a little crowded, and
she had a hard time spotting Tim right away.

“There he is! At the table at the end near
the stage” said Riley.

Tamiko scanned the area until she saw him. He
was sitting at the table watching the performers who were on stage.
They waded through the patrons and other tables until they got to
the spot where he was sitting. Tim was so taken by the performance
going on he didn’t see them even though they were right up on him.
Tamiko was afraid of what might happen next. In the past, Tim would
look right past her, arch one eyebrow and flash a crooked grin
right at whatever beautiful woman came into his view. She decided
to wait until the performers had finished their set and the
applause from the patrons died down, before attempting to get his
attention.

“Tim?”

He started for a moment and turned to see who
was calling him. Their eyes met and he stood up to greet her. At
first he seemed a little awestruck. His expression softened, and
there was a look in his eyes she had seen before. Then he smiled,
and his whole countenance lit up.

“Hey. You kinda snuck up on me there,” he
said.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to,” said Tamiko.

“I know – it’s okay. You look…amazing,” he
said as he continued to study her.

“Thank you. So do you,” she said.

He was dressed in a moss green tweed blazer
and a light brown shirt with brown moleskin pants and Chelsea
boots. He made a very handsome picture indeed. But then again,
Tamiko believed Tim could wear a paper bag and rock it.

“I like your hair. Did you stop by the beauty
parlor?” said Tim.

Tamiko had the front of her hair in an
upswept ponytail and the back was out and down on her
shoulders.

“Thank you, but no, I did it myself kind of
last minute.”

“
It’s still beautiful. But
where are my manners? Let’s sit down,” he said leading her to the
table, when suddenly he stopped. “Oh, wait. Where’s Riley? I
thought you said she’d be coming with us.”

“
I’m over here,” said
Riley.

As Tim looked up, Riley waved at him to help
him find her. For a moment Tamiko felt as if she couldn’t
breathe.

“
Riley?” he said looking at
her quizzically.

“
That’s right,” she
said.

“
You look different. I
didn’t even recognize you. Sorry about that. Anyway, come on over
and have a seat,” said Tim.

Tim seated the two ladies and then took the
seat next to Tamiko. Tamiko relaxed a bit. Despite Riley’s efforts,
Tim certainly wasn’t giving her, ‘the look.’

“
So what do you think?”
asked Riley.

“
You look nice – a little
more feminine at any rate. Did Miko talk you into letting her give
you makeover or something?” said Tim.

“
No. I don’t need Miko to
make me look beautiful. I mean, I am a beautician,” said Riley
rolling her eyes.

“
Sorry. I forgot about that.
Well, so far this is a nice little spot. Good music, nice
atmosphere, and the menu looks appetizing from what I’ve seen. Now
if the food is any good, we can bring the others here,” said
Tim.