The Atonement (43 page)

“Answer the question, Callie.”

“You’re the only father Darius will ever
have.”

“It’s either yes or no. Is Jim Darius’s
father?!”

“No!” she said, “Jim is not his father!”

“I guess it’s settled then.”

“Of course it is. How can you even consider
taking the word of some fake, hating, jealous, brother over that of
the woman who actually loves you?”

“
Because he’s
right.”

“Allen!” she said looking startled, “I can’t
believe…how could you think I’m lying to you?!”

“I saw the look on your face when I first
asked you the question.”

“I was shocked that you could even ask me
something like that! To imply that I would sleep with your best
friend?”

“Please, don’t even try to cover yourself
because you can’t. I’ve been thinking about it for a while and it’s
all starting to make sense now: the way you tried to convince me
not to reconcile with Jim, your plan for me to talk to him about
moving down south and then when I wouldn’t do it, you snuck behind
my back and talked to him yourself.”

“What?! How could I have talked to him about
something that I didn’t even know he was going to do?! That’s
ridiculous!”

“No it’s not, really. Where else would Jim
have gotten the idea? You were the only one kicking it around, and
not a week later, he’s saying the exact same thing.”

“He could have gotten the idea from Riley for
all we know! They have been spending a lot of time together, and
she does live in the south.”

“Aiight, then,” said Allen slipping into
Ebonics, as he usually did when he was angry, “if it’s like you
say, then how ‘bout we take Darius for a paternity test?”

“What?!! I’m not going to put my son through
something so intrusive, just because your boy is a liar!”

“Had a feeling you would say that.”

“So I’m just supposed to be cool with having
my son’s personal information being made public?”

Allen wasn’t in the mood to rebut such a
ridiculous argument that had been brought up for no other reason
than to take the conversation off topic because she had no
reasonable excuse for not wanting a paternity test given the
circumstances.

“Callie, give it up, already. You’ve been
found out. It’s over. We’re over – the engagement, the
relationship, the friendship, everything.”

“Allen how can you just throw away everything
we have together?! How can you do this to me after everything you
promised me?!”

“Are you serious?! What
about what you’ve done to
me
! How could you sleep with my best
friend behind my back? How could you bear his child and then lie to
me about it, and string me along for nearly two years?”

“Al, please…”

“No, I loved you, Callie! I loved you with
everything I had and I trusted you with my heart, and this is how
you do me?! ”

“I’m sorry,” said Callie sobbing.

“Not as sorry as I am.”

“I made a mistake…and I know I hurt you – but
there has to be a way for us to get past this and start over.”

“If you had been honest with me up front when
I first asked you, I might have considered it, but – that’s what I
can’t get over – you lied to me.”

“I’m being honest with you now!”

“Only after I called you out. I just don’t
understand why you felt you had to lie in the first place. Why
didn’t you tell me that night that I called you? I would have
listened to you, Callie. I would’ve tried to understand.”

“I didn’t want you to walk out on me the way
you did before.”

“I didn’t walk out on our friendship; you
threw me out. I guess you were too busy with Jim.”

“It wasn’t like that. We weren’t in a
relationship, it was just…”

“I don’t care what it was. It doesn’t matter
at this point.”

“What about Darius? You’re the only father
he’s ever known. Think about what this is going to do to him.”

“Don’t you dare bring Darius into this. You
know I’ll always love him, but how I feel for him has nothing to do
with what’s going on between us. Don’t use him like that.”

“I’m sorry, Allen…please…I love you.”

“There’s no way I can believe that after what
you’ve done. Now, I’ll have to ask you to leave. Make sure you
leave the ring on the table before you go.”

“Allen…please.”

Allen looked away from her out the window. He
wouldn’t look back until after he heard the sound of the ring
hitting the table and the door of the room closing. It was over.
This time it was really over. Callie was gone along with the
remnant of the hopes and dreams from his teenage years. As he
studied the ring lying on the table, his heart flooded with waves
of pain. After all the disappointments that he had to endure for
the past several years, he was certain that God would bless this
relationship. It was the one ray of light in the midst of what was
becoming a very gloomy life. He had prayed, and prayed and prayed,
and just when it looked like his blessing was coming into fruition,
it turned out to be a curse. “God, I just don’t understand,” prayed
Allen as the tears started to fall. “What is this all about? What
are you doing to me?”

Forty

“The doctors are here to administer emergency
aid to a patient in distress in room 411!”

Allen looked up to see Richard, Tim and Davis
bringing in burgers, fries, soda, and fried apple pies, paper
plates, napkins and cups. His friends were a welcomed sight given
everything that he’d gone through in the past 24 hours and the food
was as well, since the dinner they served at the hospital didn’t
even put a dent in his appetite.

“What is all this?” said Allen.

“Its called dinner, my friend,” said Tim.

“Yeah. Since we all know how nasty hospital
food is, we thought we’d stop by and bring you some real eats,”
said Davis.

“That’s right, so just sit tight while we
will fix you a plate. Dr. Russell, prep this brotha for a
cheeseburger transfusion. Dr. Martinez, start a line of cherry
cola, 20 CC’s, stat”

“Will do, Dr.,” said Tim.

Richard, and Tim set up the food and
beverages on the available tables, while Davis went to wrangle a
few more chairs from the waiting room outside. Soon the room was
filled with the scent of freshly grilled burgers, as well as the
camaraderie of close friends.

“Thanks guys. You all know how to have a
brother’s back, for real”

“That’s what we’re here for, dude.”

“Oh, and before I forget, Mr. Hardy wanted me
to give you this,” said Davis. He took an envelope out of the
inside pocket of his coat that he had on the back of his chair and
handed it to Allen.

“It’s a get well card,” said Allen after
opening it. Then he began to read it. “He’s giving me the next two
days off!”

“Cold snap! You lucky you got a real chill
boss, Al.”

“Word. Just make sure you use those days to
rest.”

“I intend to. Tomorrow, God willing, I’ll be
sleeping in until noon.”

“Don’t forget to pray. This whole thing might
be God’s way of getting your attention.”

“That thought has crossed my mind more than a
couple of times. If that was His plan, then I’d say it was
effective and the message has been well received. Getting sick has
helped me to realize that my most important relationship is with
Jesus. That’s where my strength was coming from. Leaving Him for
caffeine supplements and other nonsense was not a good idea.”

“I’m glad you seein’ that, now. So you think
you gonna start dialin’ down your workload?”

“Yes, Davis. You don’t have to worry. I’ll be
talking to Mr. Hardy about cutting my hours to part-time.”

“That’s going to give you a lot more time to
study. Trust me,” said Davis.

“And that’s just what I need. I’ll probably
be cutting out other things, as well. Nothing wrong with having
less things to do.”

“Exactly. It’s one thing to have a work ethic
and another thing to become so busy with work that you have no time
for God. Everyone needs balance,” said Tim.

“Right, and I intend to make that my
priority.”

“I see you got a lot of other cards and
flowers stacked up there. Has everyone else been by already?” asked
Tim.

“Pretty much. My parents were here bright and
early of course. Callie stopped after that and then Riley and
Tamiko stopped by with the Pastor and Mother Rose. You guys were
last, but I like your visit best.”

“Because we brought food?” said Davis.

“And good food, too. Where did you guys get
these burgers? These are the joint,”

“From the new chain across the street from
here,” said Tim.

“You know I’m going to have to start finding
excuses to come by this way.”

“Hey, wait a minute. What about Jim? He ain’t
stop by this way to see you?” asked Richard.

Everyone stopped eating and the conversation
came to an abrupt halt. The light in Allen’s eyes faded and his
lively expression was replaced with a more sober one. Tim and Davis
looked at Allen then gave each other wary glances. Richard kept his
gaze on Allen as he waited for his answer, totally oblivious to the
change of mood in the room.

“No, he hasn’t” answered Allen.

“Is everything okay between you two?” said
Tim, “I heard you guys had a bit of a disagreement before you fell
ill.”

“I didn’t really want to have to get into
this now, but I might as well. You’re going to find out everything
soon enough, anyway. Jim and I are going our separate ways.”

“Again?! Why?” asked Richard.

“I just can’t take any more from him. He’s
proven to me that he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.” Allen
put his hand over his mouth. All of the emotions that he thought he
had been able to temper, started to rise to the surface. There was
no way to put into words the depth of the betrayal he felt. “I
think I should just accept that before either one of us can cause
the other any more pain.”

“What’d he do, chief?” asked Davis.

“I can’t even talk about it right now. All I
will say is that I trusted him, and he proved that he wasn’t worthy
of it. In my mind, he’s dead to me.”

“Al, I understand that you’re probably still
feeling a little raw right now because you’re just starting to deal
with everything, but I think you should give yourself time to think
about things before you write him off completely. From what I’ve
heard, he’s been feeling a lot of remorse about what happened,”
said Tim.

“I don’t care how he feels. He obviously
didn’t care about how I felt when he was stabbing me in the
back.”

“But you two have been friends for so long,
and you’ve been able to get past your differences before,” said
Tim.

“That was before, this time he really spit on
our friendship.”

“You gotta forgive him, Al. You know what the
Word says. If you want God to forgive you, you’ve gotta forgive
others,” said Davis.

“I’ll forgive him, but that doesn’t mean I
have to forget.”

“Then that’s not real forgiveness,” said
Davis.

“Sorry, but it’s all I have right now.”

“But how’s that going to work wit’ you two
livin’ in the same crib for who knows how long?” asked Richard.

“It won’t be that long. Jim is supposed to be
moving to North Carolina with Riley next week.”

“What?!” the other men exclaimed in
shock.

“Was this decided before the argument or
after?” asked Tim.

“Before. Jim was the one who decided it was
time to move on, most likely because he felt guilty about what he’d
done. But I thank God the truth came out before he left.”

“Wow. This is blowing me away,” said Tim.

“Word. This clique is going through too many
changes,” said Richard.

“But even though he’s leaving soon, I still
can’t see myself living at home in the meantime. Tim, would you
mind if I bunk with you for a while?”

“Of course not. Why do you think I keep the
spare room?”

“Thanks, man. I promise I’ll try not to get
in your way.”

“Trust me, there’s not much to get in the way
of nowadays.”

“You sayin’ you don’t have no more female
company?” asked Richard.

“Not since my last dating disaster.”

“Tim, just because you made one mistake
doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date anymore,” said Allen.

“I’m well aware of that, but I’d rather wait
and let God lead me to that someone, if there even is someone out
there for me.”

“I guess I can understand that. You don’t
want to rush into something and end up in a bad situation you can’t
get out of.”

“So what you gon’ do in the mean time, yo?
You just gon’ be by yourself?!” said Richard.

“As a Christian, I don’t think there’s any
other choice, Rich,” said Tim.

“You gon’ be livin’ like one of them monks!”
said Richard.

“Nothin’ wrong with going solo. I been solo
for a while myself,” said Davis.

“Hold up, I thought sho’ you and Miko was
gonna git together. You not gonna try to git that?” said
Richard.

“Richard!” said Allen.

“Chillax, Al. I’m not talkin’ about hittin’
it, just datin.’”

“Like I was tellin’ Al, the other day. I
don’t think Miko and I would be a good fit in a relationship,” said
Davis.

“Fa real?”

“Yeah. As a matter of fact, I think it’s best
for me to stay the way I am.”

“Wait, wait, wait. You sayin’ you wouldn’t
mind being single for right now, or for the rest of your life?”
asked Richard.

“For the rest of my life.”

“Hold up – I know you don’t mean to tell me
you don’t ever want to be with another woman again?” asked Richard
incredulously.

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t mind having female
friends, but I can do without all the romance stuff.”

“Say What?! Brotha you need an
intervention!”