The Adventures of Phineas Frakture (6 page)

Episode
11

Flames shot into the early morning sky followed by billowing smoke and dust. The constable and the two civilians turned just in time to see the entire warehouse district sink into the ground. When the air cleared, everything was covered with dust and soot, and other than the squawking of angry birds, the air was still and silent.

The trio looked at the giant crater in front of them with a sense of surrealism, not comprehending the enormity of the sight before them. A different kind of rumble began to build, and they realized that the harbor was now in the process of expanding itself. Water came rushing in and quickly filled the hole.

“How…how deep is that?” asked the constable.

“Deep,” said William.

“And there are Dolonites down there, you say?”

“Hopefully, not anymore,” replied Abigail.

“I just came off my shift. Let someone else do the paperwork.” The constable turned and walked away, shaking his head and beginning his search for an open ale house.

“Do you think he made it?” asked Abigail.

“Of course he did. We can’t get rid of him this easily.”

A crowd began to gather to look at the sight. Many were workers on their way to their jobs in the warehouses. Some cheered, while others grumbled; owners looked despondent as their livelihoods were submerged under millions of gallons of water. No one seemed to pay attention to the half-dressed duo who stood at the edge of the new lake…except one.

“You really are getting fat, old man. No more crullers for you in the morning.”

William and Abigail turned quickly and scanned the crowd. They spotted Phineas, covered in muck and who knows what else, limping towards them. He was slightly singed, but for the most part looked in good shape. Abigail smiled, and William held out his arms to hug his friend, accidentally dropping his wrap in the process.

“I have seen some disturbing sights tonight, but this is definitely the worst of it,” said Phineas, keeping his distance.

Suddenly realizing his predicament, William scooped up the skirt and tied it again.

“A handshake will do,” Phineas said, clasping his friend’s free hand.

“Are they finished?” William asked.

Phineas looked over the crowd. “Inferno, crushing rock, and a lake to boot…I think it might be safe to say ‘yes’. If not, then we will deal with them when they resurface. Anyway, there is no way to create more of them, so if there are any left, they pose no real threat. Their supply of that gas is no longer available. It will only be a matter of time now.” He looked around at his surroundings. “Where are we?”

“Warehouse District,” said Abigail. “You just submerged half of New York’s import businesses.”

“Really? I could have sworn that we were under city hall…must have gotten my direction mixed up down there. Oh well, no matter. I figured that we had done the city two services in one fell swoop…maybe next time.” A look of concern crossed his face as he looked at William. “Hold on a minute. William, what the devil did you do with my coil?”

Phineas then collapsed from sheer exhaustion.

Phineas awoke to bright sunlight streaming through his bedroom window. From the angle, he judged that it was approximately noon. He was clean and in his nightclothes; however, he had no recollection as to how he came to be back in his home.

The door opened and Mrs. Popkiss entered bearing a tray with coffee and a breakfast of eggs and bacon. “Well, good afternoon. It’s about time you woke up.”

“I’ve only been asleep for about seven hours,” replied Phineas.

“Try a day and seven hours. It’s Monday afternoon.”

“Monday?” Phineas exclaimed, sitting bolt upright. “My classes…”

“Don’t you worry yourself. I sent word to the headmaster that you were feeling a bit under the weather and needed a day off.”

“Anything else?”

“Like what?” asked Mrs. Popkiss. “That you spent your weekend blasting a giant hole in the middle of the city while battling monsters? Please. I kept your excuse believable.”

Phineas took the tray. “Your timing has always amazed me,” he said as he wolfed down the bacon.

“Well, you were shouting at your students in your sleep. When you do that, I know that I have about a half an hour before you wake up.”

“Hmph. Is that why I always feel stressed when I wake up? Figures. What of William and Abigail?”

“They dropped you off and said that you will see them when you are up to it. They also said that you did well for yourself.
Are
you all right?”

Phineas took a bite of the eggs and looked at the ceiling. “More than you can imagine.”

“I guess that we can both put our ghosts to rest now, can’t we?”

“Yes,” replied Phineas, “I believe we can.” The housekeeper was about to leave when he suddenly said, “Mrs. Popkiss? Would you mind terribly doing me a favor?”

“Anything, dear.”

“Please box up the contents of the room. I won’t be needing them anymore. There are also papers in my coat that can go as well. Just put them in the storage.”

“Consider it done, sir.”

After going through his morning routine, Phineas picked up the Post, whose headline read: ‘Mystery Hero Destroys Dolonite Lair’. Speculation abounded about what had happened under the warehouse district and of a man carried off from the scene. His reverie was cut short by the front bell. Shortly after, the bellowing voice of William Patterson carried through the house.

“In here, William,” Phineas called from his study. A small package sailed through the doorway and landed in his lap. “What’s this?” Phineas asked as William entered.

“Your blasted coil, of course. I had to scour three alleys to find it. I should charge you for rummaging through garbage.”

“Funny, didn’t you smell what I went through to find you?”

“All night long, unfortunately. How do you feel?”

“Very well, actually. And you?”

William hesitated. “I’ve been…affected.”

Phineas raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

William unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a patch of skin on his chest that was discolored and where the muscle underneath seemed to be pronounced. Phineas took a close look at it.

“It appears to be localized. I wouldn’t worry too much though. The notes I found stated that the process took time with constant exposure. It may clear up in time.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then claim that it is a burn or something. Make up something heroic, like a story about rescuing a cake from a burning building. Just tell me if you start getting urges to drag hapless victims off into the night or start killing chickens in your sleep.”

“Very funny. Now, the reason I am here, besides your witty humor…there are men poking around the new lake and asking questions. I believe they are with the army, though they were not wearing uniforms. Abigail already said that they were by asking her questions. She denied everything, but she doesn’t think they believed her. Keep an eye out for them.”

“And you as well. They do not need to know what went on down there.”

“Abigail is concerned about you, Phineas. She said you ‘changed’ while down there. I’m not sure what she meant, but it scared her.”

“It was the stress of the situation, nothing more,” Phineas lied. He knew what she meant. He saw a side of himself that he had kept repressed for so long. It had taken over, made him strong when he needed it most. He almost relished it.

“I’m sure,” said William, unconvinced. “Well, I had better be off. Much to do. I’ll let you know if this,” he thumped his chest, “changes. Hopefully, you are right.”

“Hopefully. Enjoy your day.”

“Now I know there is something wrong with you. You’re pleasant for once.”

Phineas waved him off and then set to mentally reviewing what he had read about the transformation process, just in case.

Episode
12

Phineas Frakture’s entrance into his classroom was heralded by whistles, catcalls, and other embarrassing sounds.

“That must have been some date you had, professor…looks like she put up a fight…was one day enough recovery time for you?”

Phineas set his papers down and quieted the class. “Yes, it was a pleasant evening, and no, these battle scars are not her doing. I’ll have you know that our night was cut short due to an interruption beyond our control.”

“You mean the Dolonite attack? We heard they struck near the theater. We were afraid you were one of the missing…well, some of us were.”

“Thank you for your concern,” Phineas said sarcastically. “Now, I hope you all took your extra day to refine your papers…”

There was a slight commotion as the door opened, and the headmaster nervously allowed three men dressed in black suits and long coats to enter.

Phineas, already perturbed at losing a day of lecture, was less than cordial. “Headmaster Coghall? What is the meaning of this intrusion? We were just about to review the principles of manicurithalizer physics. You are welcome to join us, if you like.”

The headmaster, however, gave the men a nod and scurried out of the room.

“Professor Frakture? We are with the Imperial State Security, Division Five. Would you mind answering a few questions?” asked one of the men in black.

“Yes, I would mind. I am in the middle of something.”

A snicker went through the class, and the two other men glared at the students until it subsided.

“This won’t take long. Please, in your office.”

Phineas threw down his chalk and said to his class, “Chapter Ten,” then entered his office. He quickly took a seat behind his desk, keeping the authoritative playing field in his favor. The second and third men took up positions blocking the door, while number one sat in the chair opposite the desk, which was smaller and usually reserved for students.

“I understand that you were in the warehouse district this weekend.”

“As were several hundred others.”

“Anything you would like to share about your time there?”

“Not necessarily,” Phineas replied.

“We know that you were involved in the incident, professor, as were your friends Ms. Bentley and Mr. Patterson. What we would like to know is…what you know.”

“Correction,” said Phineas, “you would like to know if I brought anything back.”

“That would be helpful.”

“Helpful to create more of those monsters?”

“Now, professor, the army wanted an end to this reign of terror as much as the people did…”

“And that’s why they did nothing for thirty years? No, the army wanted to create more of those things, to unleash them on our enemies. But they got away from you…or rather, you never had them to begin with.” Phineas stood up, picked up a slender metal rod, and began pacing. “I know what they were…what they were intended for…and that the army had no intention of putting a stop to them. When are you people going to realize that all this has to stop? We create monsters…they create bigger monsters…bombs, killing machines…” He leaned forward on his desk. “I’m glad they are gone and that they will be forever out of your reach. The Dolonites have destroyed more than you could imagine. They should never have existed in the first place.”

Number one stood up and slammed his own hands onto the desk. “Now listen here. I am tired of dealing with righteous punks like you, full of steam and fighting the system. Like it or not, the leaders of this nation know a hell of a lot more than you do about how to handle their enemies. You just sit here in the safety of your classroom while the real men keep you safe with your ideals. If you have a problem with that, then we have ways of dealing with people like you,” he said threateningly.

Phineas’ eyes narrowed. “Really? You seem to be forgetting something.”

“Like what?”

“You are forgetting that the only man to stand up to the Dolonites and live is standing in front of you. You are forgetting that I, alone, destroyed an entire army of monsters that was unstoppable for over thirty years with nothing more than a wrench and a little imagination.” He flipped a switch on the rod and an electrical arc began moving up the shaft. “Now…just think of what I can do to you and your army with this rod and a lot of imagination.”

Number one straightened up and put on his hat. “We will be watching you, professor,” he said. “Good day.” The trio then left the office, slamming the door behind them.

Phineas heard his students scramble back to their seats after listening at the threshold. He quickly collapsed in his chair. “Oh, my god, I’m going to have a heart attack.” He hyperventilated for a few moments and composed himself before exiting his office. As soon as he reappeared, his class stood and began clapping and cheering, much to his surprise.

“Whatever happened to being a coward, professor?” Wellwood asked when the cheering finally died down.

“Well, as you can see, there are exceptions to the rule. Now, let’s get…”

“Excuse me, professor,” said a secretary from the doorway.

“Oh, what now?” asked Phineas irritably.

“You have a call on the Aether-vid.”

“Fine. Class dismissed for the day, as it seems that everyone else’s business takes precedence before your learning anything useful.” He followed the secretary out of the class, followed by the animated chatter of how their stodgy professor was a hero and monster fighter.

“In here, sir. The call is waiting.”

Phineas sat down in front of a screen and a familiar image appeared. “Isabella? What’s the matter?”

“Hello to you too, Pinhead.”

Phineas flinched at her childhood nickname for him. “I’m sorry. Hello, how are you,
dear
sister?”

“All right, enough of the fake pleasantries; you are terrible at it. I heard the news…is it true? Are they gone?”

His sister, now living in Chicago because of her fear of seeing the Dolonites again, had been on the mend for years. “Yes…it’s true. They are finished. I…I was there.”

“Do you think Father is at rest now?”

A tear welled up in Phineas’ eye. “I’m sure of it.” He wanted to tell her, let her know that he had seen him one last time. That their father still remembered them, but Phineas couldn’t bear the thought of her having to think of their father as one of the Dolonites. “No more nightmares, dear sister. We can move on. All of us can.”

“Good. I’m glad it’s finally over. Phin? What happened to your face? Did you blow something up again?”

Phineas touched the bandages dotting his face. “Something like that. I need to go. Come out and visit some time. I’ll tell you about it.”

“Maybe I will. Bye, Pinhead.”

Phineas gathered his things and walked out onto the campus grounds. A shadow passed by and, as he looked up, an imperial airship thrummed overhead. Maybe it was time to take a stand, fight the system…be a hero. Then his body reminded him of being thrown through the sewer in front of a ball of fire, and he thought, maybe not.

He limped on, looking at the world around him. Two words, ever present in his thoughts, came forth again.

What if?