The Adventures of Phineas Frakture (5 page)

Episode
9

Phineas pounded on the cover of William’s tube and used every tool in his belt, but nothing worked. The canister must have had a vacuum seal on it, preventing it from opening until the subject inside had fully matured into a Dolonite. He heard the whine of the pistol he had given Abigail and a ‘holy…’ well, expletive, as she steadied herself from the recoil. Again and again, the pistol whined.

“They are
not
vomiting!” Abigail shouted, indicating the response the pistol was supposed to produce. “They are still coming!”

Phineas tossed her the discombobulator rifle. “Try the bigger one…it might have more effect on them. Just steady it into your shoulder and brace yourself.” He slid down the tube and picked up a large stone. With as much force as he could muster, he banged it against the glass tube again and again.

“Real scientific,” said Abigail.

“You’re not helping,” replied Phineas as the rifle sent Abigail back a few steps. Her target staggered back just as many steps, but quickly recovered.

Further down the rows, one of the tubes shattered sending the blue fluid and the enclosed Dolonite spilling across the ground. Phineas quickly picked up on the incident and told Abigail to turn the rifle on the tube holding William.

The whine was terrible on the receiving end as Phineas was caught in the periphery. He stumbled back and retched as the glass shattered and his boots were submerged in the viscous fluid. Shaking his head, knowing that he couldn’t take time to recover, Phineas staggered over to where William lay bleeding from a few shards of glass embedded in his shoulder.

Phineas slapped William’s face several times to wake him up, but to no avail. He noticed that the man wasn’t breathing and hefted him up onto his shoulder to get the liquid out of his lungs. More whines came from the discombobulator as Abigail unleashed salvos against the approaching hoard.

Suddenly, William gasped mightily for air and, in a panic of not knowing what was going on, began pounding on Phineas’ legs trying to regain his freedom.

“Will you settle down, William!? We are trying to rescue you! Stop that!”

“Phineas? What the devil are you doing here? The last time I saw you was outside the theater.”

“As I am trying to tell you, this is a rescue. Now shut up and tell me if you can walk.”

“Are those things here?” asked William.

“What do you think we are rescuing you from, you dolt?”

“Then, no…I can’t walk. I can run. Now put me down!”

“Abigail!” shouted Phineas.

“WHAT?” she shouted back between shots.

“Quit playing and come on. William is able to move.”

She quickly joined them and her expression changed to one of amusement as she spied William’s naked body. Suddenly aware of his lack of attire, he covered up his privates in embarrassment. 

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” she smirked as both men looked at her oddly. “Oh, I have brothers, you idiots,” she added sharply. She tore off the bottom half of her dress to give to William. “Cover up now.”

William gladly tied the makeshift kilt around his waist and they began their escape.

“How long was I in there?” William asked as they ran.

“Not more than five hours,” Phineas said as he looked at his pocket watch.

“Really? It seems like I was in there for an eternity.”

“You would look a whole lot prettier if you had been.”

“Will you two stop it,” said Abigail. “Did you find what you needed, Phin?”

“Everything. Let’s get out of here fast.”

It was a long run back to the entrance due to both William’s bare feet being cut up by loose stones and the appearance of Dolonites at practically every turn. Finally, they made it back to the stairwell. A few steps up, Abigail realized that Phineas had stopped at the bottom.

“What is it? Come on, hurry!”

Phineas continued to hesitate. “I have to stay.”

“What? We have to keep going!”

“I saw their plans, Abigail. I know what will happen if this doesn’t end here and now. If they get out again…”

“We know where they are now. The army can come and deal with them. You don‘t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do, and no…they won’t. Trust me on this. Who is better at breaking things than I am? And besides, I have schematics. You two get back up to the streets. Tell a constable what happened. Tell them to prepare if I don’t succeed.”

“But…”

“GO!” Phineas shouted. Then, suddenly, he added, “Wait!” and bounded up the stairs. He took Abigail’s face in his hands and kissed her. “Just so I don’t die wondering,” he said as he hurried back down.

Abigail stood in amazement and William looked confused, waggling his finger between the two of them. “Wait a moment…you mean that he…that you two…have never…OH FOR THE LOVE OF HEAVEN, YOU TWO ARE IMPOSSIBLE! Go, blow something up. You have probably been dying to do that all night. Come along, Abigail. I need to get some dry clothes.”

The two made their way up the stairs as they heard Phineas shout, “And watch out for the sewer kraken!”

William looked back at him and then at Abigail. “He is joking, isn’t he?”

Phineas ran as fast as he could. Suddenly, renewed strength coursed through his body and he began whooping and yelling to draw the Dolonites away from the entrance. It didn’t take long for them to take notice, for it seemed that they began pouring out of every nook and every corner of the cavern. At one point, he looked back and tried to count their numbers. He gave up after seventy.

Beyond the incubating tubes and what looked like a type of living area for the Dolonites, Phineas found what he was looking for. Gigantic Tesla coils reached past the mist, their electrical arcs crackling above. The hum of the machinery was louder here and he finally spied the main generator that serviced the entire complex. Then he noticed something else. The ground seemed to tremor beneath him. At first, he feared that it might be another untimely earthquake, but then, turning, he found that it was much worse than that.

Slowly approaching, the entire Dolonite Army was heading his way with only one thing on their simple minds.

Stop Phineas Frakture
.

Episode
10

Twenty Years Ago

“Phineas?”

The young boy stopped working on his clock and looked up. “Yes, Father?”

“What is it that you have there?”

“My clock, sir,” Phineas said reluctantly, as if he had been caught stealing a piece of pie before dinner.

“Bring it here,” his father ordered.

Phineas carefully brought his clock over to his father. The elder Frakture took the piece and turned it over, examining it. “Where did you get this?”

“I…I built it…from the piece room. I did not think that you would mind if I took some of the old pieces.”

His father inserted a key and wound the boy’s creation. It immediately set its gears in motion and fluidly kept time as he checked it against his pocket watch. “I recognize the housing, but there was nothing in it, last I recall. You…built the clockwork?”

Phineas nodded. “I am sorry, sir, I didn’t…”

“No need to apologize. This is…marvelous work. How did you learn to do this?”

“From watching you, Father,” Phineas said, as if the answer was obvious.

Phineas’ father took his watch fob from his waistcoat and handed it to Phineas, who looked at it in awe. It was his father’s prized possession and, as far as he knew, his father never let it off his person. “My father gave this to me when I was ten years old, after I had built my first clock. You are years beyond in talent than I was at your age. We call that a prodigy. It is a very special gift.

“Time, Phineas, is all important in this day and age. Everything runs on a schedule: man, machine…whole cities. They all depend on the ticking of the gear and they rely on the clockmaker to ensure that the gear is accurate. One bad gear is all it takes to throw off time. Find the gear that matters and the rest falls into place. Perfection is what people want and, from what I see here, you are already achieving it in your work. That watch is yours now. A symbol of the perfection we work towards. Remember to oil the gears and tighten the springs, and this watch will serve you well, as it has me.”

Now

Time was running out. The Dolonite hoard was approaching and Phineas had no idea how to stop them. He looked over the massive generator and then pulled a schematic from his coat.

“Come on…come on…where are you?” he muttered as he scanned the inner workings of the machine. He concentrated, blocking out the noise and the urgency of the situation. Then, his head snapped up, and he grabbed a wrench lying on a work table near the generator.

Phineas set to work, opening an access panel and picking through the wiring until he found his target. He unhooked the lead and then cross-wired it with another.

The generator suddenly stopped and then started up again; this time, the thrum became louder. He then took the wrench and shoved it into one of the massive gearboxes that supported the generator, aiming for one particular gear. The wrench caught between the teeth, causing the clockwork to groan and shudder. Phineas stepped back, admiring his work.

“That wasn’t too hard,” he said as he watched smoke begin to billow and the Tesla coils start to overload. “It shouldn’t take long to blow up now.” He looked from the machine to the exit and the mass of Dolonites in between. “Oh, crap. It shouldn’t take long to blow up.” Starting to panic, he began to run around looking for a way past the soldiers.

Several pressurized tanks near the generator caught his eye. They were more than likely left over from the workers who had built the complex. He hoped that at least one was still full. Checking each, he found that most of them sounded empty; however, two still held their contents.

Phineas knocked two legs off of the work table and leaned it over diagonally on its side, making a ramp. He then propped the tank, nozzle side down, against it. “This has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever done,” he said as he straddled the tank. He grabbed another wrench and started banging on the nozzle until it broke off. The escaping pressure launched the tank and Phineas up and over the Dolonites, leaving a blazing arc as the charged atmosphere ignited the escaping contents.

He looked down on the hoard, which was already turning to follow his progress. Then, the tank emptied.

“Oh, this is going to hurt.” Phineas let go of the tank and hit the ground in a roll, about fifty feet from the Dolonites. He jumped up, hobbled for a bit, and began running as the Tesla arc started to go wild.

As he ran past the tanks, he noticed the subjects inside thrashing about as electrical surges boiled the inhabitants. He felt remorse that he couldn’t save more of them, but their current fate was probably better than the alternative.

Almost home free, Phineas turned to see if his pursuers were within sight. Fortunately, there was no sign of them, which meant that they would not escape the cavern before the generator blew. He slowed down as he turned back to the entrance and then remembered that there was no time to waste and started to run again.

Right into a Dolonite with a red star stamped on his chest plate.

Phineas slammed into the behemoth and fell flat on his backside. He stared up at the Dolonite as the Dolonite stared down at him. Time seemed to stand still as the two sized each other up, one wondering how to get past the other, while the other judging if the one would make a good addition to the army.

The Dolonite began reaching for his butcher’s hook and then stopped. Instead, he reached forward. Phineas, frozen with fear at the sight before him, finally experiencing what his father must have felt all those years ago, could do nothing. But, instead of grabbing Phineas, the Dolonite took hold of his watch and pulled it close to his face plate. Phineas watched in confusion as the Dolonite looked from the watch to him and back again.

“Phin…”
A deep rumbling facsimile of what sounded like his name emanated from the beast. As far as Phineas knew, this was the first time a Dolonite had actually been heard to speak. The Dolonite held out the watch to Phineas, who, still dumbfounded, stood up and took it. After a moment, realization set in. All fear aside, Phineas stepped close to the Dolonite’s face plate and looked in.

“Father?” Phineas said quietly. He put his hand on the helmet and the Dolonite raised his own hand to touch Phineas’ arm.

“Go,”
Prime rumbled.

Phineas, feeling a sudden peace inside of him, moved past his father and headed up the stairway. The last he saw of the Dolonite called Prime, it was moving back into the cavern to accept its fate.

As Phineas reached the top of the stairs, a great explosion sounded behind him. The cavern shook and rocks began to fall. Phineas looked back in awe as a huge fireball exited down below and began making its way up towards him. He ran into the passageway that led back to the sewers and didn’t look back. The hidden entrance was directly ahead and he slammed his shoulder into the wall, hoping it would open. It didn’t.

Phineas, once again, felt his heart jump into his throat. “This is not happening,” he said as he leaned up against the wall, looking at the approaching firestorm. Without a sound, the door swung open and he fell through. He got up and slammed the door shut just as the fireball reached it. The pressure was immense and threw the door open again, sending Phineas flying out of the room and into the sewer.

“Explain to me again why you two are raving like lunatics and why
you
are dressed like her man just caught you climbing out her window?”

“Constable,” said Abigail, “please listen. We just came from underground. We found the lair of the Dolonites and we rescued William, here, from them. They may be coming after us. You have to get a force together to stop them.”

The constable looked at them like they were mad. “Even if I did believe you, what do you think we could do? Nothing can stop them and I am certainly not going to try.”

“But…our friend is still down there! He needs help! We can’t just leave him!” exclaimed Abigail, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

“Lass, you know as well as I do that nothing short of all the bombs in the Emperor’s arsenal could stop those things. I’m afraid that your friend is lost. I’m sorry. Now, you need to get moving along and have your friend here cleaned up.”

The ground below them began to shake and there was a deep rumbling from within.

“What in blazes is that?” asked the constable.

“It sounds like a lot of bombs,” said William.

“It sounds like Phineas,” added Abigail.