The Adventures of Phineas Frakture (23 page)

Episode
8

“Go away! I need more sleep!” A shoe sailed past Phineas’ head as he entered William’s room.

“Of course, you had a hard night sitting and drinking with the local constabulary. It isn’t like you spent the night running around an entire city. You had five hours of sleep. That’s more than enough for the human body to regenerate. Besides, if you would stop drinking that sewer water they serve here and switch to coffee, you might just have more energy. Now get up. We have work to do.” Phineas grabbed the bed sheets and pulled as hard as he could, sending William into a heap on the floor.

“I hate you. You know that, don’t you? And you flew around the city, not ran,” William’s muffled voice said from under the blankets.

“You can hate me later. Right now, we need to get to Scotland Yard. Meet me down in the lobby in ten minutes. I have to find someone.”

Phineas left the hotel and went into the pub next door. He scanned the room, and when he didn’t see what he was looking for, he started to yell.

“Griffin! Griffin! Are you here? Where are you?”

“Ow, mate! You don’t have to shout in me ear. I’m invisible, not deaf,” the thief’s disembodied voice said.

“Good, you’re here. I have a business proposition for you.” Phineas tried to focus on where he thought his invisible friend was, but just ended up crossing his eyes.

“I’m not in the habit of doing business, thank you kindly. People tend to get paranoid around me.”

“Then how about some fun? That pays a bit?” Phineas said slyly.

“Fun? What kind of fun?”

“Bombs, Scotland Yard, rescue the girl…”

“Wait…you had me at bombs. What do I do?” asked Griffin.

Phineas began pulling apart one of the bombs from the previous night, which had been relocated to Scotland Yard. Meanwhile, William had carefully removed the green gel that was the heart of each explosive and set the containers on a separate table in the room. He was staring closely at the containers when the door to the room opened, allowing Constable Fuller, Inspector Morrisey, and an elderly gentleman inside.

“And these are the Americans?” the man scoffed.

“Yes, sir,” replied Morrisey. “This is Professor Frakture and his associate, William Patterson.”

“Doesn’t matter who they are, just so they know that we are allowing them to help us as a courtesy, in order to find their friend.”

“Yes, sir,” Morrisey said obediently.

“Keep an eye on them. I don’t want them blowing up the Yard.” The man turned and headed for the door, then suddenly stumbled into Morrisey.

“Are you all right, sir?” asked the inspector.

“Fine. I just caught my foot on something. Carry on,” he said gruffly.

“Isn’t he a pleasant fellow,” William said after he left.

“That is Chief Detective Inspector Daughty…my boss,” proclaimed Morrisey, “and no, he is not. He is highly suspicious of you two and is not very happy with the loss of that copter you destroyed last night.”

“Compared to the six miles of city that I saved? His priorities are slightly out of whack,” said Phineas.

“He is a very intelligent man…dedicated to the people,” added Fuller.

Someone snickered.

“Really, he is,” Fuller added in protest.

Morrisey pulled up a chair and sat down. “Anyway, we are to watch you while you work…so you do not blow up the Yard…and such.”

“Fine. Just don’t get in the way.” Phineas pulled down his goggles, lit a small torch, and began working.

While William was setting a sample of the green fluid under a microscope, he noticed Fuller swatting the back of her skirt. “Is there something the matter, Constable?”

Fuller, with a perplexed look on her face, kept looking around. “I keep feeling something touching me.”

“Griffin, you’re supposed to be examining the fluid, not playing,” Phineas said without looking up.

“Right you are,” Griffin replied cheerily.

Fuller and Morrisey looked around in confusion. “Who is that?” asked the inspector.

“My chemist. I took the liberty of bringing in my own specialist,” Phineas said. “Say ‘hello’, Griffin.”

“Hello, my cheeky darlings.”

“I don’t see anyone.” Fuller put out her hand and then quickly jerked it back. “I felt something.”

“Keep going, love, and we’ll both feel something.”

“He has no clothes on,” Fuller proclaimed, disgusted. “I should lock you up…”

“For what? Indecent exposure? You know, a girl like you could make a guy like me go straight. If you know what I mean.”

William felt an elbow nudge him in the ribs. “Unfortunately, I do,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Ooh, I am leaving!” Fuller said in a huff. “Make sure that pervert does not make his way to the ladies room.” She slammed the door behind her.

Morrisey tossed his hat onto the table. “Put that on, so that I can tell where you are…and I don’t need to be bumping into…things, either.”

“Fine,” Griffin donned the hat. “Just having a bit of fun, is all.”

“Well, the fun is over…for now,” Phineas said, getting back to work. “You both know what you’re to do.” He checked his watch. “We have twelve hours to get ready. Not much time considering the work ahead, so I suggest that we concentrate.”

“Yes, sir,” William and Griffin said in unison.

Once again, a heavy fog shrouded the city of London. Moonlight illuminated the silvery mist as wisps danced between the trees of Battersea Park. Two figures stood in the middle of an open field, anxiously waiting for the arrival of their nemesis. A distant thrum of machinery cut through the silence, growing louder as it approached them. Soon, a shadow appeared in the form of a large, two-wheeled machine that glided across the lawn. It stopped twenty yards away from the figures, and a hatch opened in the front of the machine between the two wheels. A ramp extended downwards, followed by the metallic footsteps of two revenant soldiers.

Phineas tightened the belt of his trench coat and stared at the expressionless features of the soldiers. “Where is Abigail?” The soldiers remained silent as they approached. “All right…where is Doctor Molondi?”

The soldiers stopped a few feet from Phineas and William. “Doctor Molondi requests your presence,” one soldier stated.

“We know that. That’s why we’re here,” responded Phineas. “Where is he?”

“You will come with us,” ordered the soldier.

“We are not going anywhere. We were to meet here. Where is he?” demanded Phineas.

“You will come with us now.” The two soldiers raised their right arms, and a blue gas dispersed from containers on their wrists.

The world suddenly started to spin for Phineas and William, and though they fought the effects of the gas, they quickly passed out and fell to the ground. The soldiers scooped them up and carried them into the vehicle. As the hatch closed behind them, the vehicle started up again and returned in the direction that it had come from.

The fog swirled around the outline of a figure, not far from where Phineas and William had been. A pile of leaves stirred, revealing a large bag, which was then hoisted upon an invisible back.

“Now this is an interesting turn of events. I guess ‘Plan B’ it is then,” Griffin said as he began following Doctor Molondi’s minions.

Episode
9

“…and as the dawn of the new age begins, mankind will rise up once again, embracing the new philosophy…”

Phineas rolled slightly, stifling a moan as his muscles protested. He felt as if he had been handled like a sack of potatoes. His eyesight was blurry; however, he could make out the crumpled heap that was William lying next to him. Phineas nudged him with his hand and was rewarded with a groan, letting him know that his friend was still among the living.

“What the devil is he prattling on about?” William asked. His voice was hoarse, probably an after effect of the gas they had inhaled.

“I think that he is monologuing,” Phineas replied, his voice just as hoarse. “I hate it when people do that.” He struggled to stand and found that it was easier thought than done. There was a sigh from somewhere in the room.

“Oh, thank God you’re awake,” Abigail’s familiar voice said. “I’ve been listening to this nut-job for two hours straight now and I’m ready to rip my ears off.”

Phineas straightened up and shook his head to clear away the haze that he was in. He took stock of his surroundings and found that he was in a large stone room that resembled a dungeon. Abigail was chained to one of the walls by manacles, looking more perturbed than usual. There was a myriad of scientific equipment around the room, some of which Phineas was familiar with and some that was quite foreign to him. One door flanked their left while across the room, on the other side, stood a large double bay door that he hoped led to the outside.

In the center of it all, however, was the feature attraction for the evening. A man, who Phineas presumed was Doctor Molondi, was wearing a long black cloak that fell to the floor, covering his entire torso. His head was topped with wild and unruly grey hair that stuck out in every direction. A hearing trumpet was attached to his left ear, and a mechanized monocle sat over his right eye. His mouth was covered by a speaker phone much like the revenant soldiers’. The man had obviously been in some sort of tragic accident to warrant such augmentation, and Phineas could only imagine what lay beneath his cloak.

“Professor Frakture…welcome…and you as well, sidekick,” the doctor’s mechanized voice said.

“Sidekick? Let’s just start off with the insults and get them over with,” muttered William.

“I want her released immediately,” Phineas demanded.

“All in good time. We have much to discuss,” replied Molondi.

“Now.”

“Or what?” Molondi seemed to glide across the floor as he moved between Abigail and Phineas.

“Or this.” Phineas tore open his trench coat to reveal…nothing.

“Are you looking for your bomb?” Molondi asked condescendingly. “Please, I am not an idiot. I took the liberty of removing your explosives when you were brought here. They were nicely made, by the way. The proportions of the gel were just enough to obliterate my stronghold. I must commend you on your work.”

“Plan B?” asked William quietly.

“Looks like it,” Phineas said grimly. “Let’s just hope it’s reliable.”

“I could use a man like you in my new order, professor,” Molondi continued without paying them any mind. “You see, there are very few people that I consider my equal in this world. You are the only one who has bested me so far.”

“Why did you kill all those people?” Phineas asked. He hoped to keep him talking for as long as possible in order to give Griffin enough time to fulfill his part. With this egomaniac, Phineas didn’t think that it would be much of a problem.

“A mere show of power. The east end has been a blight upon this city for years. No one would care if it went away. When my demands were not met, I felt that another demonstration in a locale that the people did care about would get their attention. Unfortunately, you interfered with that one. I never did get my apology.” Molondi looked at Phineas expectantly.

“
You
owe me three hundred dollars plus expenses,” Phineas said defiantly.

Abigail rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“You diffused my bombs!”

“You blew up my hotel!”

“You made me a laughing stock!”

“You
are
a laughing stock!” retorted Phineas.

Their voices rose to a thundering pitch, each arguing his own point and heedless of the other’s perspective. Abigail and William watched them with indifference, waiting to see who would give out first; however, neither conceded to the other. As they continued, William sauntered over to Abigail and began working on the locks.

“I think he’s found a new friend,” William said to her.

“Maybe we should leave these two alone. Can we catch a show while we wait?” Abigail replied. “This could take some time.”

“It’s what we need. We have a ‘friend’ who should be setting up a surprise for the good doctor. That is, if he didn’t find a window to peep in to. Do you know where Doctor Molondi put the bomb Phineas had?”

“No, there was nothing on him when they dumped you two in here. Ow!” Abigail’s restraints popped open and she rubbed her wrists. “What ‘friend’ did you sucker into helping you and why did you let Phineas carry a bomb?”

“Let’s just say that both were necessary evils.”

“…and further more…”

“BOYS!”

Both Phineas and Molondi turned to look at Abigail.

“Are you finished yet?”

Phineas ran his hand through his hair. “What were you saying about taking over the world?”

“When mankind bows down…”

“Aw, jeez, not again,” sighed Abigail.

Phineas, unfortunately, allowed Molondi to go through his entire tirade, much to William and Abigail’s chagrin. “And how do you plan to control the populace? With the ‘Bones in a Barrel Brigade’?”

“My soldiers are useful, but they are mere prototypes for the ones that I created for the Queen. They serve me and only me…”

“Why would you create undead warriors for a Queen that you want to depose?” asked William.

Molondi seemed to turn melancholy at the question. “I…used to be the Queen’s prime weapons manufacturer. I made her ‘special’ requests become reality for her glorious conquest of the globe. Until that fateful day…when a munitions pile caught fire. I needed a pipe…how was I to know that my lucifer was not fully extinguished when I tossed it away? I had smoked there several times without incident. My body was all but destroyed. The Queen, that wench, cast me aside as useless garbage; but my superior intellect prevailed, and my minions put me back together…with some slight alterations. They were good assistants, though I needed more soldiers and so I volunteered their services to be de-fleshed.”

Phineas raised an eyebrow. “So, basically, this is about getting back at the Queen for abandoning you?”

“Getting back!?” Molondi became extremely agitated and began pacing back and forth. “Getting back? She ruined my life! If her people had taken the time to post a ‘no smoking’ sign in the munitions room, this could have all been avoided. But
no
! There is no money for safety measures in the Queen’s budget. And, she could have had her surgeons fix my body right away, but I was not worthy of their time.
She
had to have a wart removed, and
that
was more important than my body! All those weapons I created for her…all that power I gave her! And…I…was… not…WORTHY!

“Did you know…that I was an excellent dancer before my accident? No, you didn’t; not many did. It was my passion, besides explosives of course. It was the only thing that got me through the night…after creating death day after day after day. And now that is gone…so there is only death! And I, Doctor Pereleous Molondi, will bring it to the people of Britain and then…the world! Behold the true face of death!”

His cloak dropped to the floor, revealing the true shape of Doctor Molondi. Phineas arched a brow once again and looked over at Abigail and William.

“You have got to be joking.”