That Summer (Part Two) (6 page)

I
panicked when I realised that I hadn’t brought that many clothes with me and I
was sure I would struggle to find something suitable for a restaurant or
somewhere nice. However, I soon came across a white sundress I didn’t know I
had packed amongst my belongings. It was really cheap due to the fact that it
was on sale when I bought it and I’ve only had it on a few times.

I
stand in front of the full-length mirror in the bathroom and slip the dress on
over my head. I’ve just washed my hair and then tried my best to style it by
using a hairdryer. I’ve never been one for pampering myself or using beauty
products, mainly because we never had enough money when I was growing up but
now… now I want to make the effort.

I
try to imagine that I’m going on a real date. When I close my eyes and try to
block out the hotel’s surroundings, it’s almost like I’m back at home. I can
pretend that I’m just a normal girl who is getting ready to go out and spend
the evening with her boyfriend… a girl who is carefree and happy.

I’m
startled by a knock at the door and take one last look at myself in the mirror,
smoothing down my dress before I go and answer it. I make sure to look through
the peephole before I open it, realising how paranoid this makes me.

“Wow…”
Cole exhales slowly, allowing his heated gaze to take in my outfit. “You look
incredible… you’re… you look beautiful.”

“Thank
you.” I reply, feeling timid and self-conscious all of a sudden. “I’ve had this
dress for a long time but I’ve never worn it before now.”

“I’m
glad you haven’t. I don’t want anyone else to see you in this except me. This
is for my eyes only, you understand?”

He
takes a step towards me, circling his arms around my waist. His eyes are filled
with lust and I can’t help the arousal which this stirs up inside of me.

“I
guess this means that we can’t go out now? We have to stay indoors forever?” I
joke, smiling up at him in a playful manner.

“I
guess so.” He responds evasively, still distracted by the sundress I’m wearing.
“I really don’t want to let you out of my sight if you’re going to be wearing
this.”

“Come
on.” I urge him, pulling on his hand as I attempt to leave. “I’m far too hungry
to be having this conversation and we can discuss the dress later.”

Cole
chuckles before he groans, allowing me to drag him out of the room and down the
hallway.

The
restaurant is lovely and the food is delicious. It’s like nothing I’ve ever
tasted and I can now see how it’s possible to become accustomed to such fine
things. I’ve never lived my life like this and I’m not sure if Cole has either.

It’s
almost like we’re playing a game, pretending to participate in something which
neither one of us can explain. Here we are sitting in this fine restaurant,
eating exquisite food and staying in a luxurious hotel but none of it is real.
The reality of the situation is that we’re hiding from the truth, we’re on the
run and no amount of splendour is going to change that.

“What’s
wrong?” Cole asks, forcing me out of my deep contemplation.

“Nothing.”
I lie. “I guess I’m just thinking about things.”

“Like
what?”

“What
you told me about earlier on today.” I reveal, glancing at him warily.

“Would
you care to elaborate?” He enquires politely, raising his eyebrow at me across
the table.

“I
need to know if you hurt Jonathan because it reminded you of what nearly
happened with your mum.”

I
exhale slowly and await his reply, trying to block out the intrusive memory of
that day. It only happened a weeks ago but in some bizarre and complex way, it
feels like a lifetime has passed since that time.

“You
could say that.” He retorts curtly, clenching one of his fists which rests on
the table. “It took me right back to that day when I caught that sick son of a
bitch all over my mum and I just flipped. I couldn’t control my anger and
that’s why I hurt Jonathan so badly.”

Hearing
Cole admit this is enough to consume me with guilt. I almost feel responsible
for the downward spiral he’s embarked on since he transferred to my school and
none of this might have happened if it weren’t for me.

“What
happened to the man your mum was dating after the hospital?” I ask him, leaning
forward in my seat.

“He
was in there for a while, slowly recovering from his injuries and the police
came to interview him. They would have charged him if my mum had been willing
to go through with it but she changed her mind at the last second when it came
to pressing charges against him.”

“She
didn’t want to press charges?” I gasp, sounding incredulous.

“She
said she couldn’t do it to him.”

“So
she stayed?”

“For
a little while but she soon moved onto someone else and forgot all about him.”

“Oh,
I see.” I murmur softly, sympathising with Cole. “I don’t know what to say…”

“You’re
worth ten of her, Serena. You don’t have to say anything.” He retorts sharply,
closing the conversation altogether.

We
take a stroll along the river once we’ve had our meal, gazing at the moonlight which
dances off the surface of the water. A part of me still yearns for a time when
it can be like this forever, when we can be free from persecution, condemnation
and guilt for our feelings for one another.

I
know it’s not possible for us to be together how we want to be. There’s not one
person who would condone the type of relationship we long to have and I don’t
know how two single people are expected to take on the world or why we should
have to in the first place.

“Tell
me what you’re thinking.” Cole whispers, coming to a standstill as he implores
me to open up to him.

“I
have so many thoughts inside my head right now, I wouldn’t know where to
start.” I admit, smiling at him weakly.

“I
know the feeling.”

There’s
a momentary silence between us as I turn away from him, placing my hands on the
cold concrete of the wall in front of me. We’re standing on a bridge which
overlooks the water and the only sound to be heard besides our breathing is the
rippling of the water beneath us.

“You
know I’ll never forget this, don’t you? You know I’ll never forget
us
.”

“What
are you talking about? What made you say that?” Cole snaps, turning me around
to face him.

“Nothing,
it’s just… I wanted you to know.”

“Why
does it sound like you’re saying goodbye to me?” He demands, shaking me roughly
as his anger increases.

“N-no,
I’m not.” I stammer. “I just wanted you to know that I’ll never forget this.”

“It
still sounds like you’re trying to tell me something.” He persists, relentless
in his quest to find out the truth behind my statement.

“The
only thing I want you to know is that I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

I
reach up and touch his cheek, begging him with my eyes to trust me.

“Despite
everything?”

“Despite
everything.” I conclude, fighting against the doubts which threaten to consume
me.

“You
promise?”

He
looks so vulnerable, craving my assurance more than anything else. He’s asking
me to make him promises I cannot keep and I don’t know how I can help him or
ease his pain.

“I
promise you.” I say, moistening my lips before I kiss him.

I ask
Cole to give me some space once we get back to the hotel. We say goodnight and
go to our separate rooms so we can spend our first night apart since we left.
He was reluctant but finally agreed when I told him that I needed some time
alone so I could think things through.

I
must have been asleep for a couple of hours when I hear a gentle knocking at my
door. I sit up in bed, breathing heavily as my heart races.

“Serena?
Serena, open the door.” Cole whispers, knocking more impatiently.

“What’s
wrong?” I ask, scrambling out of bed as I head towards the door.

“Let
me in. Please.” He begs me, trying the handle as he attempts to open it
himself.

“What’s
wrong?” I persist, wondering what on earth has happened for him to come and wake
me like this in the middle of the night.

“I
can’t do it.” He murmurs softly. “I can’t be apart from you. Please let me in.”

“But
you promised me I could have this space.” I argue, panicking at the thought of
us being alone together for an entire night.

“And
what about what I need? I need
you
.” He insists, challenging me harshly.

He
tries the handle once more as his frustration increases and I soon realise that
I no longer have a choice, I have to let him in before he loses it.

I
unlock the door with trembling hands and take my time when it comes to opening
the door. I have no idea what state he’s going to be in and need a few more
seconds to prepare myself for what I’m about to face.

I
noticeably gasp when I take in his appearance because he looks so awful. His
hair is a mess and standing on end as though he’s been tugging his fingers
through it. He has dark circles underneath his eyes from lack of sleep and I
can smell alcohol on him so I know he’s been drinking.

“Are
you drunk?” I snap harshly.

“No.
Well… maybe just a little bit.” He answers, slurring his words a little as he
talks.

“
Why
have you been drinking?” I demand, blocking the doorway so he can’t get inside.

“Because
I felt like it.”

“Been
to any more strip clubs?”

I
know my question sounds extremely bitter and more than a little envious but the
thought of Cole watching half naked women take their clothes off still makes me
feel nauseous. It’s one of the first places he ran to when he found out the
truth about our father and I can’t just forget that overnight. It still hurts
and I’m pretty sure it will do for a very long time.

“I
was hoping you could put on a show for me instead.” He says, taking a step
closer towards me.

His
eyes are alight with lust as he closes the distance between us and wraps his
strong arms around my waist.

“Stop
it.” I plead with him, pushing my hands against his chest.

“Why?
Why
should I stop it?!” He demands angrily. “Give me one good reason.”

“The
fact that we’re related.” I reply coldly, trying my best to remain detached and
distant.

“You
don’t think I know that? You think I actually
care
? I never have and I’m
not about to start now.”

“How
can you not care? How is that even possible?”

“Because
above all else I
still
love you. I fell in
love with you and
nothing in this world has the power to change that. How am I supposed to keep
that to myself and love you like a sister when every single instinct in my body
is screaming at me to do the opposite?”

“You
don’t think I feel the same way? You don’t think this is killing me like it’s
killing you?” I cry, falling against his chest as my tears start to fall.

He
cradles me in his arms, rocking me back and forth in a soothing manner.

“You
don’t want me anymore.” He murmurs, somewhat inaudibly. “You don’t want me like
you used to and I see that now.”

“How
can you say that to me when you know how difficult this has been for me? You
know I still love you, Cole.”

He
pushes me aside so he can make his way inside the hotel room and slams the door
shut behind him.

“Then
prove it.” He snarls. “Prove it to me right now, Green.”

“H-how?”
I stammer, frightened of hearing his answer.

“You
know how.”

He
takes hold of my arms and walks me backwards, directing me until we reach the
bed and I fall back on it. He grabs a fistful of my t-shirt in his hands and
yanks it over my head, exposing my bare breasts to him in an instant. I try
covering myself but he prevents me from doing so by pinning my wrists to the
bed on either side of me.

“Cole,
we can’t do this.” I whimper.

I’m
dangerously close to surrendering myself to him but realise that once I make
that choice, once I go ahead with that decision… I can never take it back.

“Don’t
hide yourself from me... ever.” He warns, glowering at me in fury.

“Please…
I… we
can’t
.”

“We
can
.” He insists, speaking forcefully. “We can do whatever the hell we
please. No one is here to stop us or tell us that we can’t.”

“But
I’ll know that we did it. I won’t be able to live with myself or the guilt from
knowing what we’ve done.”

“And
what’s the alternative? You really want to spend a lifetime together without this
being a part of it? I can’t have a platonic relationship with you, Serena. I
want you more than anything and I crave what we had before we knew. Let me show
you, baby. Let me show you how incredible we can be.”