Test Drive (Crossroads Book 3) (17 page)

“I knew you’d taste good,” Justin said and then he dove in again. He buried his face deep—licked hard, soft, up, down, in circles, his hand playing and teasing Drew’s balls the whole time.

When he pulled away, “Jesus Christ, get back here,” ripped out of Drew’s mouth. His cock leaked. His balls were heavy. He wanted to come. No, he needed it.

“Who’s the bossy one now?” Justin asked and then his finger was there, working inside Drew’s hole. He pushed it in deep, pulled out again and then started over. “Such a tight, little hole. I can’t wait until I get to fuck it. Tell me you’re gonna let me, Drew. Not tonight but soon.”

Hell, he’d let Justin take him right now if he wanted. He could fuck Drew every day, all day, just live with his cock in Drew’s ass if it felt half as good as a finger. “Yeah, I already told you that. Any time. Any place. I want your dick inside me.”

At that, Justin ravenously went at him again. A guttural growl came from Drew’s throat as he was eaten and finger-fucked at the same time. He fought to hold it off as long as he could but then his balls let loose. He came, long spurt after long spurt shooting from his slit and coating the shower wall.

He fought to catch his breath, his chest heaving as he let the wall hold him up.

“Well shit. I didn’t think that through. I didn’t get to eat your come.”

Drew couldn’t find it in himself to laugh, not this time. All he could think was,
I’m a goner.

It had been early but they fell asleep after their shower. Or at least, Drew had. He came so hard his head nearly popped off so Justin understood the exhaustion. But there was more to it than that. There was a heaviness to the air all of a sudden, that Justin tried to ignore. Drew had tried to return the favor after their shower, but Justin had waved him off. Who in the hell said no to an orgasm?

The room was dark, he had his back to Drew, their two full beer bottles unopened.

He wished he could turn his brain off. He’d told Drew that everything felt like it was on pause when they were together, and though that was true most of the time, the pause button always came off eventually. And this time, he had thoughts of Drew in the mix.

What were they doing?

Was this as real as it was starting to feel and if so, how in the fuck had it happened?

And Christ, how could he be thinking about another man when so much was going on? When he was losing his father.

The bed dipped. Drew rolled over. He wrapped an arm around Justin’s waist, and the warmth felt fucking perfect there.

“Stop,” Drew whispered against his neck.

“Stop what?”

“Overthinking things. Worrying. The only thing you need to consider is your family. That’s first. Everything else will wait.”

And somehow, that helped. The weight eased off of him. “How did you know I was thinking?” he asked.

“I’m not sure.” Drew kissed his shoulder, his neck, sucked his earlobe. They both lay on their right sides, as Drew ran a hand up and down Justin’s top leg. He pushed it forward, and Justin read what he was saying. He bent it at the knee, sliding it off the other leg to give Drew access to his hole.

“I’ll put my mouth on you next time. I’ll do it all goddamn day if you want, but right now, I really just need to fuck you.”

Damned if Justin didn’t need that too.

The lube and condoms were next to him on the bedside table. He grabbed them both and handed them to Drew.

He kept in the same position on his side as Drew pulled away and suited up.

Justin heard the condom wrapper open. Knew Drew was rolling it down. The lube was next, and then Drew lay beside him again. He peppered more kisses along Justin’s shoulders as his lube-wet finger breached Justin’s ass.

A heavy breath pushed out of his lungs as though it had been trapped there for years. “Just put your dick in me, baby. Fuck me.”

Drew worked his way inside him, stretched him in the best fucking way, and then his arm went around him again. He wrapped it under Justin’s armpit, and then gripped his shoulder.

Then, he fucked. Long, slow strokes, his front smacking Justin’s ass each time he thrust. With each pump, he gripped Justin’s shoulder tighter. He wanted Drew’s finger marks there. Wanted to be bruised. To bear Drew’s mark.

His cock dragged back and forth across Justin’s prostate. His dick throbbed, it was so hard.

They were quiet as Drew fucked harder. Squeezed tighter, but still went so goddamned slow. It was as though he was trying to draw it out.

He loved the feeling of being full, of Drew filling him.

Justin let everything else go. Just felt Drew fucking him. Surrendered to this moment, with this man.

“So hot,” Drew whispered. “So motherfucking tight. Can’t get enough of you.”

Drew drilled him with precision. With skill. When Justin wrapped a hand around his own cock, he knew it wouldn’t be long before he came.

Justin jerked himself off with slow, greedy pulls. “Christ, you fuck me good. I’m gonna come.”

His balls pulled up, let loose and pleasure rolled through him as he came hard all over his hand.

He felt Drew tense behind him and then his teeth were there, biting into the muscle at the top of Justin’s shoulder as he fucked through his orgasm.

They didn’t speak for a few minutes. Justin didn’t know what to say, which honestly didn’t happen to him much. It was Drew who spoke first. “Well shit. I didn’t think that through. I didn’t get to eat your come.” He repeated what Justin said in the shower.

He couldn’t have said something more right as they both laughed and held each other, just living in the moment.

***

Justin knew he was overreacting but this felt very much like a set up. Of course it wasn’t. What would they be setting him up for? But still, as he sat in a room with Landon, Rod, Shanen and Jacob, he couldn’t help but feel like the odd man out.

Shanen paced her living room, obviously on edge when Jacob grabbed her hand and smiled at her. That easily Justin saw some of the weight drain from her shoulders. It was obvious they were in love. It was obvious Jacob would do anything for Justin’s sister. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little animosity for the man because of his relationship with Drew.

Drew was the best man he knew—honest and caring. He couldn’t understand how someone couldn’t see that when they looked at him. Especially his own brother.

How would Jacob feel if he knew about Justin’s relationship with Drew? How would any of them feel? He couldn’t see Landon caring, or really Shanen either. Her only problem would likely be how it affected her husband.

He had no business wondering about that anyway. He didn’t live here. He had a home in North Carolina. School, work, his mom. Soon, he’d be gone, which didn’t leave his relationship with Drew much of a relationship at all.

“I just thought we should all touch base, a bit,” Shanen began. “The next few weeks…or hell, months are likely to be challenging ones. God,” she shook her head. “We have no idea how much time we have with him. I wanted more time.” She buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders began to shake. Justin went to push to his feet, but Jacob pulled her into his arms. He held Shanen while she cried. Rod whispered in Landon’s ear, as Landon sat with his elbows on his knees, looking down.

It was so similar to sitting in Joy’s house and hearing that his father would stop chemo that he immediately felt the anger rise inside him. Felt it squeeze a fist around his chest as he watched them…as he longed to be that fucking close to someone. It was then he realized it wasn’t anger at all. It was jealousy.

He didn’t have what they did.

Hell, he didn’t have much of a family either. He loved his mom and they were close, but she was all he had. The people in this room didn’t have the same history with Justin that they had with each other. They would always be closer to each other than they would be to him.

“I’m sorry.” Shanen pulled away from Jacob and wiped her eyes. “I swore I wouldn’t do this.”

This time, it was Justin who found his eyes glancing down. He looked at the carpet. Moved his foot across it, making the fibers move in the opposite direction.

“I just think we need to be united right now. Spend time with Dad, and try to make whatever time he has left as happy as we can make it.”

Justin’s gut twisted and turned, guilt creeping in. “You’re right. I apologize for losing it before. I just…I just don’t know how to do this.” How the fuck did he lose his dad? How did he find his place in this other family if his father wasn’t around, and should he even try?

“No,” Landon cut in. “Don’t be sorry. This whole situation is fucked. We’re all just doing the best we can.”

“Landon’s right,” Shanen added. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that this was about you.”

Justin looked up and he could see the sincerity in both their faces. He heard it in their voices as well.

“You didn’t,” Justin told her.

“Good. I just…I know how important this is to him—to know his family is together and by his side. I want to give him that, and I think we all deserve it for ourselves as well. We don’t want to have any regrets.”

And that was the crux of why Justin was here in the first place. Why he buried his anger at his dad, and dropped everything in his life to come to Virginia. He didn’t want to have any regrets either.

Drew had to bite his tongue not to ask Jacob or Shanen how things had gone at their house today. Likely, Shanen because he hadn’t talked to his brother since their meeting in his office the other day. It all felt so fucking petty when he thought about what Justin was going through. He’d tried to call him earlier, but Justin had gone straight from Jacob’s to work.

He wondered how much longer Justin would be able to keep the job at Nick’s. He had a feeling Justin did it just to have something else that was his own.

What he did know was that he’d wanted to be there for Justin today. He’d wanted to support him and that feeling didn’t come as a shock to him. He wasn’t sure how he’d let himself get so wrapped up in Justin, but he had, and damned if he didn’t know it wouldn’t turn out well. His life was here. Justin’s was in North Carolina.

“How are things at work, Andrew?” his mother asked as they sat around the table eating dinner. This was the second dinner like this they’d had recently and he wondered if seeing a family lose someone made them want to hold fast to their own.

Shanen spoke before Drew had the chance to respond. “You know, I’ve been thinking about signing up. I just have so much going on right now, but it’s important to me to take good care of myself. Especially with everything going on with Dad.”

“I’m so sorry, dear,” his mom said. “Jacob told me that he’s going to stop treatment.”

Shanen shook her head and Drew could tell that she definitely didn’t want to talk about it. “I appreciate that. You were asking about Andrew, though. I didn’t mean to change the subject.”

The last thing Drew wanted to talk about was himself but his reasons were a whole hell of a lot more selfish than Shanen’s, so he spoke a little bit about work and about giving Robyn more responsibilities. He hoped one day he would be able to open a second gym, and maybe she would run it.

“That sounds wonderful,” his mom replied. His dad of course didn’t have much to say. Drew’s career wasn’t important and that was that. It was only a few seconds later that his mother added, “Okay…I’ve tried not to pry but what about dating? You’ve been awfully busy lately. I’d love to see both of my boys settled down with a nice lady.”

Drew wasn’t sure why but his eyes darted toward Jacob. His brother paid attention to his plate, taking a bite of his food and obviously not at all interested in the conversation. It pissed him off. Jesus, it fucking pissed him off. They were brothers. It shouldn’t be this way.

“Leave the boy alone,” his dad said. “He’s young. Let him have fun.” His dad had always had his back in that regard.

Shanen smiled at him like she was interested in the answer as well. Jacob still paid no attention to him at all, and Drew decided to just go with his gut. What was the point in continuing to keep it to himself? When Justin left, there was a very strong chance that he would eventually date another man. “If I ever do settle down, it might not be with a woman.”

Jacob’s head shot up. His eyes went wide and latched straight onto Drew. He was shocked and that made sadness settle into Drew’s bones. These were the kinds of things siblings should talk about. His brother should have been one of the first people Drew told when he realized he was also attracted to men.

“What do you mean?” his father asked, obvious confusion in his voice.

Drew pulled his eyes away from Jacob and he looked toward his parents. “I mean it might not be a woman. It could be. But it could just as easily be a man.” Although none of that felt right to him in this moment because there were no women he was interested in and he thought he wanted it to be one man, specifically. Even though he knew what would eventually happen, it was hard to see past now, and now was all tangled up with Justin.

“You’re gay?” his dad asked.

His mom swatted his shoulder. “He’s not
gay,
sweetheart. If he were gay, there wouldn’t be a chance that he’d date a woman. You’re bisexual? I read this big article about it in a magazine the other day—how so many more people are realizing they’re bisexual, gender fluid, and other sexual identities and orientations.”

“Wait. Gender what? Gender fluid? What the hell does that mean?” His dad nearly choked, and damned if Drew didn’t suddenly want to laugh. This conversation was definitely out of his father’s realm of comfort.

“There are a lot more sexual orientations and identities than you realize, dear. Didn’t that young singer girl who sticks her tongue out all the time say she’s pansexual? Or demisexual?”

This time it was Drew who almost choked. He grabbed his stomach as he coughed. In a million years, this wasn’t how he saw this conversation going. That his mom would start speaking about people being pan or demi—he was glad for it, though.