Tessa Ever After (23 page)

“That’s great—wait, after you see them? When will you see them?” Cade’s normally smooth voice has gone tense, and I blow out a breath, knowing this is going to be a topic he covers repeatedly and in great detail with me until I give him exactly as much information as he wants.

I knew going into this thing with Jason that Cade would take issue with it. He, of all people, knows exactly what kind of shadows mar Jason’s past, and combine that with how needlessly protective of me he is, he’s going to be like a volcano ready to blow.

Haley talks more about our plans for Thanksgiving, and Cade answers appropriately, though I can hear the strain in his voice. When they’re done, Haley blows him a kiss and slides over for me to take my turn.

I sit down in Haley’s spot, sighing because I know what’s coming. “Hey.”

“Is she still there?” he asks.

Oh boy. If he wants to make sure Haley’s out of earshot, this is going to be worse than I expected. I glance over at Haley, who’s admiring her picture, and say, “Go brush your teeth, baby, and then pick out what book you wanna read tonight, okay?”

Once she’s out of the room, I turn back to my computer screen with raised eyebrows. “Yes, Dad?”

Cade’s jaw clenches and his nostrils flare, and for the first time since he moved, I’m glad five hundred miles separate us. If he was here with all this happening, it wouldn’t be pretty. “Jase? Really, Tessa?”

I narrow my eyes at him, my anger starting to show itself. “Jason, your
best friend
? That Jason? Yes, really.”

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters as he scrubs a hand over his close-cropped hair. “I fucking
knew
this would happen. What the hell are you thinking?”

Now my hackles are up, and I’m irritated that I have to defend his best friend to him. “What do you mean what am I thinking? I’m thinking he’s an amazing guy who’s always here to help whenever I need him—who you made
sure
was here to help after you left, by the way. Let’s not forget that.” Cade just glares at me, so I continue on, “I’m thinking that he plays with Haley and lets her dress him up and
loves
her. I’m thinking that he makes me feel stuff I haven’t felt in a long time.”

“Yeah, I bet he does,” he says dryly.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means. Tessa, you know as well as I do what kind of history he has. You know he’s not the kind of guy who sticks around after he gets what he wants. He’s not like your orthodontist—”

“Who bored me out of my mind.”

He continues as if I never spoke, “He’s not sure and he’s not steady and he sure as fuck isn’t the right kind of guy if you’re looking for someone for the long haul.”

“Well.” For a minute, that’s the only word I can muster up, left speechless after Cade laid out just exactly what he thinks of his best friend.

And then I get mad.

Not just at him, though, but at myself, too. Because those were the same thoughts I had a dozen times before I decided to try this thing with Jason. And, really, when was the last time anyone believed in him and didn’t hold his past over his head? When anyone thought he was more than just the sum of his past indiscretions? How would I feel if everyone did that to me? That the first thing they saw when they looked at me was a giant sign with bright red letters that said
PREGNANT AT SEVENTEEN
? And yet that’s exactly what we’ve been doing to him. The people in his life who are supposed to care the most about him.

“Well,” I say again, “it’s nice to know exactly what you think of your best friend.”

“Don’t play that card. As a best friend, he’s all I could ask for. As the boyfriend to my baby sister?
Fuck. No
.”

“Lucky for me, you don’t get a say.”

“Tessa . . .” The warning in his tone makes my temper flare even more, and I stiffen.

“Oh, get off it, Cade. You don’t get to run my life from Chicago any more than you got to run it when we lived under the same roof. You need to back off. This is
my
life, and I intend to live it how I want to, with or without the approval of my big brother.”

He’s quiet for a minute, his arms braced on his knees as he leans forward and stares at the screen. He’s pissed, more than I’ve seen him in a long time, and I get that he’s worried. I get it, but this isn’t his life.

It’s mine, and I made the decision to include Jason in it.

Finally, he says, “This is going to be Nick all over again. You know that, right?”

A disbelieving breath leaves me as I stare at him wide-eyed. He might as well have reached through the screen and slapped me across the face. It’s nothing I haven’t thought a hundred times before on my own, but hearing it come from someone else’s mouth, hearing it come from my
brother’s
mouth—the one person who’s supposed to be the most supportive of me—is like a knife to the back.

“Fuck you, Cade.”

And then I end the call, not having the patience or the mental space to deal with him right now. As if I didn’t have enough already on my mind with the dinner at Jason’s parents’ tomorrow, now I’m going to be replaying this in my head over and over again. Because what Cade said is the exact thing that kept me from pursuing Jason in the first place.

He gave life to the very fear that’s been clawing at me from the beginning.

jason

Considering it’s the day before Thanksgiving, the library is surprisingly full. I sure as hell don’t want to be here, but the group project we were given at the beginning of the month is due next week. We’ve been here for two hours, and through that entire time, Kristi has tried to stick herself to my side, despite there being two other people in the group. The project is to design and code a website with integrated e-commerce, and while I could’ve breezed through this on my own in about two days, I’m forced to slow down and take into account the ideas of everyone else on my team. Such a waste of time.

“Jason, can you look over my code? I can’t figure out the problem . . .” Kristi leans closer to me, her hand on my arm, and I have to physically restrain myself from rolling my eyes at her blatant attempt at flirting.

The thing is, I can’t even fault her for it. Because last year, I would’ve been all over it. In fact, I probably would’ve taken her to a darkened corner in the library and figured out what kind of panties she’s wearing.

Now, though, I’m only too glad my phone buzzes in my pocket, saving me from her desperate clutches. Seeing that it’s Cade, I slip away from the group and walk toward the front, where more people congregate and radio silence isn’t enforced as heavily.

“Hello?”

“When the fuck were you planning on telling me?”

I cringe at his harsh tone, the words spat into the phone, and press my thumb and forefinger to my eyes. Blowing out a deep breath, I say, “I take it you talked to Tess.”

“What part of ‘keep your fucking dick in your pants’ did you not understand?”

“Look, man, I know you’re pissed, but it’s not—”

“You’re fucking right I’m pissed. You told me I could count on you. That you wouldn’t let anything happen to them. I left there and
against my better judgment
trusted you to look after them.”

“Hey,” I snap loudly and get shushed around me. Lowering my voice, I turn and walk through the first door into the lobby. “I
do
look after them.”

“I know how you are with women, and I have a real hard
time with the idea that you were looking after Tessa with more than the head in your pants.”

“I get it, Cade. You’re pissed. But you’re going to have to—”

“You were there the whole time she went through all that shit with Nick, and you still did this. You’re no better than him.”

My spine straightens, and I say harshly, “The fuck I’m not.”

“What, you gonna try and tell me she’s different?”

“She
is
different.”

“So she’s the one who will finally stick? Not fucking likely.” He scoffs, and the sound grates on my already-frayed nerves.

Anger boils, hot and steady through me, and I’m ready to bite his fucking head off, set him straight once and for all, when something occurs to me. “Did you say this same shit to Tessa?”

“Hell yeah, I did.”

Working hard to keep my voice steady, I ask, “Did you talk to her in a reasonable manner or did you throw around this bullshit with her like you’re trying to do with me?”

His silence says all I need to know, and despite spending the last several minutes listening to him give me a verbal beatdown—having him interrupt me at every turn and shutting me down—knowing he did it to her is what really sets me off.

“Listen up, fucker, because I’m not going to say this again. You might be my best friend, but I give zero fucks about that right now. Right now you’re just the asshole brother giving my girlfriend a hard time. Tessa is a grown woman and she doesn’t need your goddamn approval for anything that goes on in her life, especially the men she decides to include in it. You have a problem with me, you come to
me
, you chickenshit, and leave her out of it. You got me?”

I hang up before he can say anything more, because if I have
to listen to another second of his ranting, I’m liable to punch a hole in the wall. Ignoring the stares of people around me, I head back to the table where the group is spread out, make my excuses to leave, and let them know I’ll get my part of the coding done and sent to everyone over the holiday weekend.

Right now, adrenaline is pumping through my veins, and I have somewhere I need to be.

Because even though none of what Cade said got to me . . . what if it got to Tessa?

TWENTY-ONE

tessa

I can’t shake the feeling I’ve had since hanging up on Cade. It’s sitting over my head like a dark rain cloud, dampening my mood, making me question everything I thought I’d figured out with Jason, and now I’m second-guessing myself. I need to call Paige and talk this through with her, but I know she’s working late tonight, so my neuroses are going to have to wait to get the BFF treatment until tomorrow.

Knowing I won’t be able to get out of my head unless I force myself to think about something else, I pick up the book I’m in the middle of and try to lose myself in it. I’ve read the same page three times before I give up and, with a huff, slam the paperback down on the coffee table at the same time there’s a knock at the door.

I glance over at the clock, brow furrowed when I see how late it is, and peek out the side window to see who’s standing there.
The resulting flip and spin my stomach does would be embarrassing if it weren’t so disconcerting. I am in so deep with this, with
him
, I can’t see over the hole I’ve fallen into.

Taking a deep breath, I pull open the door, the words caught in my throat when I get a good look at Jason. His hands are bracketed on the doorframe, his entire body radiating tension. His voice is low, rough, when he says, “Did he get to you?”

And I know immediately who
he
is, which means Cade called Jason, too. The thought sends panic through me, worried that my brother somehow planted seeds in Jason’s mind to call this whole thing off . . . to make my fear come true.

He must see something in my face, because he steps over the threshold and into the house, closing the door behind him before he grips my face in his hands.

“Tell me you didn’t listen to him, Tess.” His thumbs run over my cheeks, almost like the touch is soothing him as much as it is me. “Tell me he didn’t make you change your mind about me. Tell me you still want this.”

Cade didn’t change my mind about anything, which is the scary part. That despite all the warnings he gave me, I’m still ready to dive in with my eyes wide open, heart vulnerable to break.

Jason steps into me, forcing me back until I’m pressed against the wall and he’s pressed against me. Leaning in, he nips at my bottom lip. “Give me the words, baby. Are you still with me in this?”

I can’t think, my mind a jumbled mess of worries—of what
could
happen . . . if Jason leaves, if he screws up, if
I
screw up—but I push all of those away in favor of what is happening right now. Because this is real. It’s not a what-if, not a possible outcome
from an imagined scenario. He’s really here, standing in front of me even after my brother no doubt tried his hardest to scare him away. He’s here in front of me, wanting
me.
He still wants me.