Ten Thousand Lies (31 page)

“Are you finally going to tell me what this is all about?”

“I’m just so bloody nervous,” he said. “Please, I…”

Taking pity on him, I shut my mouth and leaned against the railing.

“Is that what you want?” he quietly asked me. “Would you rather be with other guys?”

“Really, you dragged me ten minutes away from the bar to ask me that?”

“No. But, fuck, Jaime! Five days ago, you were kissing
me
!”

“It didn’t end so well, if I recall,” I replied scathingly.

“I’ve wanted to tell you I am sorry. So, so sorry,” he said, his voice cracking. “Jaime, you are the second woman I’ve ever been with, and…that was the second time I’ve ever had sex.”

Come again?

“When I was sixteen, my father paid a bloody hooker to fuck me. It was one of the scariest, grossest moments of my fucking life. She was terrified of my father, I was fucking terrified of him, and…it was messy, fast, and humiliating. It was so bad that I couldn’t bring myself to be like that with anyone again. Until the other night with you, I hadn’t been with anyone in more than ten fucking years.”

“Ricki…” I whispered, my heart bleeding for him.
No fucking wonder…

“The difference between the first time and last time was, more than anything, I
wanted
it. I wanted to be with you like that. Just you. I’d been dreaming of what it would be like to have sex with you, and I was…I was embarrassed I was fucking shite, and then you laughed…”

His pain wrapped around my chest and squeezed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, looking dejected and broken. It took everything I had not to burst into tears for him.

“When you laughed at me, I don’t know…I just snapped.”

“I was happy, Ricki,” I whispered. “I was just happy to finally be with you. I’d been dreaming of it, too.”

His fucking lip was quivering.

Oh God.
There was no holding back my tears now.

“I’m so sorry, Jaime. I’ve hated myself every waking moment for what I did. When you came back to the shop, I had hoped maybe you would change your mind about second chances. Even though it was killing me, seeing how much you hated me, I think it would kill me more if you weren’t there at all.”

“Damn it.” I sniffed, wiping the tears off my face.

Slowly, his gaze went from my feet to my face, his strange eyes burning into mine. “I don’t think I can handle you going out with other guys. I—”

“Stop,” I whispered, taking the steps toward him to close the distance.

“I can’t,” he replied. Reaching out, he took my hands in his. Large, hot, and slightly damp, they enfolded mine completely. “You’re my Dollface. You’re all I fucking think about. I’m in love with you, and I’ve fucking made myself ill over this. I can’t fucking go another day…please, please give me another chance.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

Ricki’s eyes widened in surprise. The air burst out of his lungs. “Really?”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” I told him, riding high on his confession of love. “And I didn’t kiss that guy. He kissed me.”

Ricki dropped my hands and grabbed my face, pulling me in for the kiss I’d been longing for. It wasn’t gentle, and it certainly wasn’t
nice
. It was desperate, fueled with hope, passion, and fear. I’d been missing all the explosive, dazzling sensations, the wondrous flutters only Ricki could give me. I didn’t care that his sweaty palms were on my face; it meant he felt the flutters, too.

Panting, we broke apart, pressing our brows together.

My blood was singing through me. It took a few seconds for my heart to calm enough for me to take a step back.

Grabbing Ricki’s hand, I began marching him over the bridge. There was a taxi depot around here somewhere.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“Your place. Too many people live at mine.”

The ride back to De Jordaan had me reeling.

This is happening. I’m giving Ricki a second chance. I’ve never given a man a first chance, so I have no idea what to do with this. How the hell did I end up in a cab, heading back to Ricki’s place? Are we going to talk? I don’t want to talk. I want to fuck his brains out.

I didn’t know what to do with myself. So, I sat quietly, looking out the window of the cab, holding his sweaty hand in mine.

He didn’t look out the opposite window. He stared at me.

The cab dropped us off in front of Ricki’s place, and he paid the fare. He seemed desperate to get me inside before I could have a change of heart, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the door.

Nervously, I laughed.

“No second thoughts?” he asked as he slipped the key into the lock.

“None,” I replied.

“Good,” he grunted. Pulling the door open, he pushed me in ahead of him.

Then, I was in my arms, his mouth on mine, as he kissed the breath from me. I wanted to drown in his scent, his flavor, the feel of him. He lifted me and wrapped my legs around his waist.

I tried to hold back the giggles. This man was doing my head in.

Ricki made everything inside me light up and sparkle. But I’d gotten into trouble for laughing last time. I didn’t want him to feel insecure with me ever again.

“Don’t,” he whispered as he walked us toward a staircase. “Don’t hold back your laughter from me, Dollface. I won’t ever do that again, I promise.”

“Okay,” I replied, staring into his eyes.

The light shifted across his irises, making a strange ring around them.

“What?” he asked.

I peered into his eyes harder, unsure of what I’d seen.

“They’re contacts,” he quietly told me.

My legs unraveled, and I placed my feet on the floor. “
That’s
what it is.”

“You can tell?”

“They’ve never looked right to me. I mean, I don’t know. I thought I was nuts. They don’t look fake or anything. Just…
wrong
.”

“I’ll take them out,” he said, taking my hand and leading me up two flights of stairs to his bedroom.

Leaving me to have a look around his personal space, Ricki headed down the hall to what I assumed was a bathroom. Taking a seat on his large bed, I took it all in.

He was very clean, his furnishings minimal but expensive-looking. The walls were a light gray, as was the duvet. Matching dark wood furniture and hardwood floors. Nothing hung on the walls, no curtains but wooden blinds blocked the view of the only window.

“Ricki?” I called out after some ten minutes had passed. I was starting to feel nervous.

“Coming,” he replied.

A few minutes later, he appeared in the doorway, his aquamarine gaze slamming into me.

“Oh…” I breathed. “Oh my God, Ricki.” I stood and walked toward him, utterly enchanted. “Your eyes…I’ve never seen eyes that color.”

They were as bright as freaking gems, a brilliant blend of green and blue.

Absolutely breathtaking.

“Um, I got them from me mum,” he said. “They’re distinct, and if anyone who knew me from before saw me now, they might make a connection. It’s why I wear the brown ones.”

“I love them,” I said. “They’re fucking gorgeous.”

“I want to tell you about me,” he spontaneously announced. “I want you to know everything.”

“One day, I will. Right now, this is enough for me,” I assured him.

There was no sense in rushing any of this. Tonight was for him, for what he’d been robbed of his whole life.

Everything else could wait.

Ricki

Jaime leaned forward and brushed her mouth against mine. Starved of her for the last five days, I reached out and took her face in my hands, deepening the kiss. Her sweet sigh sent heat unfurling through me. My dick surged with blood, hard enough to drive me to my knees.

For fuck’s sake!
I was a goddamn assassin!

Slicing a motherfucker’s throat or planting a bullet in a lowlife’s head didn’t make me blink an eye, but the thought of sticking my dick in the woman I bloody worshipped had me shaking like a…a…

Virgin.

Panting for air, I pulled back. “I’m…I don’t know what to do. I don’t want it to suck. I want you to like it.
Fuck
, I want you so bad.”

“I want you, too,” she told me, her lips curling up into a tender smile.

Taking my hands, she tugged me toward the bed. My heart was tripping in my throat.

“You know what?”

“What?” I asked.

“You’re going to strip out of your clothes for me. Right now.”

What? With the lights on?
“What about you?” I asked, already undoing the buttons of my shirt and kicking off my boots.

“Once you’re lying down on the bed, I’m going to do the same for you.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.
My dick was already tingling. “What if I come too fast?”

“I’m kind of already counting on it,” she replied, staring at the bulge in my pants, as I frantically unbuttoned them. Her eyes widened as I pushed them down. “Commando. Nice.”

I stood before her in my socks. She eyed them, and I bent down and yanked them off.

“Good. Now, lie back on the bed.”

I all but leaped onto the mattress and rolled onto my back. She was trying to hold back her laughter again.

I glared at her. “Just laugh.”

Jaime snorted and covered her mouth with her hand. She was just so fucking cute. I got to my knees and lunged at her, dragging her down onto the bed with me. This time, there was no way she could hold it in, and her laughter exploded out of her, taking me along for the ride.

Unable to help myself, I kissed her all over her face and then settled for her lips. The taste of her was so fucking brilliant, so perfect. The kiss quickly turned hot and desperate. Here I was, naked as the day I was born, and she had more clothes on than was fucking necessary.

“Ricki!” she squealed when we surfaced for air. “Don’t you want me naked, too?”

“Fuck yes,” I replied. I pulled her into a sitting position to tug off her shirt. “You’re not wearing a bra.”

Jaime rolled her eyes. “It’s not really needed.”

Staring at her breasts, I begged to differ. They were
there
. No, they weren’t very big, but they were beautiful. The situation between my legs turned borderline painful.

“Shh…” she said, pushing me back down onto the mattress. “We’ve got all night.”

Swallowing hard, I nodded. “Okay.”

She scooted off the bed and out of her skintight jeans.

“You don’t wear underwear either!” I accused. Then, I turned a deep shade of embarrassed.

“You really know how to create a romantic mood, Ricki,” she drawled.

Jaime was the most gorgeous woman in the world, and,
man
, could she dish out the bitch. I thought it was hot. I liked it when she laid down a verbal beating. She didn’t take shit from anyone. Maybe a lot of guys would find it to be a turn-off, but I was all for it. I adored it.

I fucking cherished the sight of her tall, slender naked body crawling toward me on the bed.

Fuck, my dick was weeping all over my gut, tingling from root to tip. My blood pressure shot through the roof, and I gasped. “I think I’m going to come if you touch me.”

Her smile was the most brilliant thing ever. “Listen, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Tonight is your first time. Your
real
first time. I don’t want apologies. I don’t need them. This is about being together, being happy, and no matter what happens, just remember it’s about
love
. All right?”

A joy so intense exploded inside me. “You love me, too?”

Jaime’s China blues went all sparkly. “I must. Otherwise, I’d be running for the Dutch border. Now…have you ever had a blow job before?”

“Yeah. Just the one time. The stripper blew me to get me hard.”

Jaime’s eyes dropped to my dick. It could fucking feel her gaze like a caress.

Oh, shite!

“Don’t really have that problem now,” she joked.

“No,” I replied, dead fucking serious. “You make me so hard, Dollface, just by existing.”

“Do you want me to tell you what I’m going to do, or should I just do what I want?” she asked, coming in closer.

The heat from her body pulsed over my skin in mild waves.

“What you want,” I croaked.