Authors: Kimberla Lawson Roby
I entered the training room and saw the class participants gathering their belongings and making preparations to leave. I was glad the class was over, because I needed to speak with Lorna in private. I’d thought about waiting until later, but there was something I needed to know before I came straight out and asked Frank to help me with what I was planning to do. I needed to know if Lorna had any additional information that could help prove that Reed Meyers had practically made discrimination part of the company’s mission statement. We’d had conversations regarding this in the past, but now I needed her to tell me everything she knew to increase my ammunition.
“Looks like I caught you just in time,” I said.
“Yeah, I guess,” she said, but didn’t stop what she was writing to look at me.
“How many more classes do you have to teach today?”
“I have no idea. I haven’t even looked at my afternoon schedule.”
I started replaying the last few days in my mind, trying quickly to figure out why Lorna was treating me so coldly. She’d never done this before, and for the life of me, I couldn’t guess what was going on now.
I looked around the room and saw the last employee walking toward the door.
“Excuse me, Clifford. Would you please close the door on your way out?”
“Sure,” he agreed.
“Thanks,” I said, and turned back toward the person who was my only true female friend here at the company.
“Lorna, what’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with
me
? No, the question is, what’s wrong with
you
?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that you’ve been keeping things from me.”
“Keeping things from you like what?”
“You know what I’m talking about, Anise.”
“No, I don’t.”
My defense mechanisms were kicking in, and I was growing angrier by the minute.
“Yeah, I think you do,” she said.
“If I had something to tell you, then I would.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been fucking my boss?”
I was mortified.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, although I knew I’d heard her loud and clear.
“Where did you get an idea like that?”
“If you’re going to meet Frank undercover, I suggest you do it somewhere a lot farther away than the Marengo truck stop.”
My heart must have stopped for a few seconds because I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“I left right after work driving over to Spring Hill Mall in Dundee and stopped at the truck stop to get some gas and cigarettes on the way,” she continued. “And who did I see pulling up? Frank. And then I saw you step out of your truck and get into his.”
“I don’t know what to say, Lorna. It wasn’t planned before yesterday morning. And all we did was go to dinner in Schaumburg. But under no circumstances did we sleep together.”
“Well, actually, it’s none of my business if you did or didn’t, is it?”
“You know what, Lorna? You’re right. It’s not your business. And I resent your attitude, because my personal life doesn’t have a damn thing to do with you.”
I left the table where Lorna was sitting and headed toward the door.
“My feelings were hurt, Anise,” she blurted out.
“Hurt why?” I asked, turning to look at her.
“Because I thought you and I were such close friends. I thought we told each other everything. I’ve told you things about my life
that I’ve never told another living soul, and I guess I expected the same from you.”
She was right in one respect. She did tell me everything except what color panties she had on. She’d probably even tell me that too, if I wanted to know, but that’s just how open she was. I, on the other hand, wasn’t. Even Monica and my mother didn’t know about my dinner with Frank. Sometimes certain things needed to be kept private, and I didn’t see anything wrong with it.
“We
are
good friends, Lorna, but given my marital situation and the fact that Frank is a director here at the company, I thought it was best to keep our relationship between the two of us. Because you know most people around here wouldn’t be too thrilled if they found out that he’s interested in me.”
“That doesn’t bother me, and you know it. But what hurt is that you’ve been so busy with your new job, we haven’t really been able to talk hardly at all.”
“We’ve seen each other every day,” I said, trying to figure out where all this was coming from.
“Yeah, but it’s not the same. I’ve come into your office a couple of times, but you always get a phone call while I’m in there, and I end up having to leave while you’re still talking. And I don’t think you spoke to me yesterday at all, so when I saw you with Frank, it really hurt me.”
“But why?”
“Because I felt excluded. I’m the one who’s been here for you through all of this Jim-and-Lyle bullshit, and now you’re ditching me to be with Frank.”
“My friendship with you hasn’t changed, and it’s completely different from my relationship with Frank, anyway. And I guess I’m a little confused too, because I’m not understanding why this is bothering you so much.”
“Did you ever once stop to think that maybe I might be interested in Frank?”
“No, because you’ve never told me anything like that before.”
“You’ve heard me talk about how good he looks.”
“Yeah, but you say that about a lot of men, so how was I supposed to know that you were interested in Frank? And even when we’ve discussed him casually, you’ve never said one word.”
“I know. Shoot me for not telling you. But I’ve always been interested in him, and I guess I’m a little envious because he wants you.”
“Well, I’m sorry, Lorna. I didn’t know.”
“I know you didn’t, but it just seems like I’m the only one who doesn’t have a serious relationship with anyone. Because here you are married, and still you’ve got someone else who wants to be with you.”
I didn’t know whether I should tell her that David and I were getting a divorce or not. Maybe it would make her feel better. But I couldn’t be sure. She seemed so irrational, and while we were supposed to be friends, I was terrified that she might blab this thing between Frank and me to someone else. Maybe if I told her, she would find some confidence in our friendship again.
“David and I are separated, and we’re getting divorced.”
“Oh no.”
“I didn’t tell you because this has been too hard for me to talk about with anyone.”
I was only being partly truthful, but I hoped the reason I gave her would suffice.
“I didn’t know, and I’m really sorry to hear that. And I’m sorry for saying what I said about you and Frank earlier. I was completely out of line.”
“I’m sorry, too,” I added.
I didn’t know why I was apologizing, but something told me I’d better handle Lorna like expensive crystal. She seemed like a time bomb waiting to explode and the funny thing was, I didn’t know why. She seemed different, twisted even, but maybe it really was because she’d wanted Frank for herself. Now, though, I knew our friendship was never going to be the same, and that I had to make
sure to tell Frank that she’d seen us in Marengo. She was the last person I would have ever worried about, but now she had the potential of being the top whistle-blower. She’d told me why she was so upset, but it didn’t make any sense. It was almost as if she’d turned into someone I didn’t know in a matter of minutes, and I didn’t understand it.
“So what are you going to do about this Kelli situation?” she asked, changing the subject.
“I haven’t quite decided, but I will very soon.”
The whole reason I’d come in there was to ask her about some of the things that had happened with certain employees before I came to work at Reed Meyers. But now I wasn’t going to question her about anything. I just didn’t trust her, so it was better to leave well enough alone.
“I still say you should go to EEOC first thing next week.”
“We’ll see. I want to think everything through before going forward with anything.”
“It’s your call, but if it were me, I wouldn’t let them get away with it.”
She kept saying that, but she’d allowed Jim to get away with sexually harassing her. I wasn’t going to dare contradict what she was suggesting, though.
“Hey, I hate to run,” I said, “but I’ve got to get back to work.”
“Maybe I’ll see you later?”
“I’m sure you will.”
I made it back to my office and closed the door behind me. I saw my message-waiting light blinking and dialed into the voice-mail system to listen to my messages. The first was from Monica, wanting to know where I was last night and why I hadn’t called her when I got in. The second was from Mom, saying she was planning to call me last night but didn’t get home from summer revival until after ten.
I was happy she hadn’t called, because I would have felt guilty about not telling her where I’d been. I wasn’t going to call Monica
either, because it was better to tell her about Frank in person. I’d tell her and Mom both face-to-face, but on different days because I knew they didn’t agree on the subject. Mom wouldn’t care that Frank was white, but she would care about the fact that I wasn’t divorced from David.
So when I listened to my third message and heard that it was from Frank, I decided to call him instead.
“Good morning, Frank Colletti’s office,” his secretary answered.
“Good morning. Is he in?”
“Sure, may I tell him who’s calling?”
“Yes, this is Anise Miller.”
“Oh, hi, Anise. I’ll put you right through.”
“Thanks.”
“Hi, beautiful,” he said.
“Why is your secretary answering your phone? Not that a director shouldn’t have someone answering his phone, but you’ve always answered your own calls in the past.”
“I know. I hate that formal garbage these other managers try to pull, but today I’m working on an important project and don’t want to be disturbed unless I have to.”
“Well, then how did I get through?”
“Because I told her that I was waiting on you to call me about some new training ideas you had for some of the factory employees.”
I wondered how many more lies Frank and I were going to have to tell. I’d been taught at an early age that it was always better to tell the truth because when you told one lie, you would certainly have to tell another in the future.
I was lying to people left and right, both directly and indirectly, and I didn’t like it. Now, Frank was lying to his secretary because he didn’t want her thinking I was calling for personal reasons.
“So did you sleep well last night?” I asked.
“Very well. Better than I have in a long time. I really had a good time with you, and the reason I left you a message is because I hope you’re free again this evening.”
“I don’t know, Frank. Lorna was upset with me a little while ago because, believe it or not, she saw me get into your SUV at the truck stop.”
“She what?”
“Yes, you heard me. She said she was on her way to Dundee to the mall and stopped to get some gas and cigarettes. So I don’t know if she’s telling the truth or whether she simply followed one of us.”
“Even if she did see us, why was she upset?”
“I’ll talk to you about that in person.”
“Tonight?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I think it’s a great idea. And I’ll tell you what. Instead of going out, why don’t you come to my house? I’ll rent a couple of DVDs and order a pizza.”
“To your house? I don’t think so.”
“Why? Don’t you trust me? Or is it that you don’t trust yourself?”
“Both.”
I was being honest.
“Oh come on. It’ll be fun. You can dress casual, and we’ll have a good time.”
“I’m telling you, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“And I’m begging you to please come. Unless you have something else better to do.”
“No, actually I don’t have anything to do.”
“Well, I think it would be a shame for you to sit home alone on a warm Friday night.”
“Okay. What time?”
“Say around eight?”
“That works for me, because I need to run a couple of errands and make a few phone calls after work.”
“Then I’ll see you at eight. Oh, and what do you like on your pizza?”
“Double cheese, sausage and green peppers.”
“That’s pretty boring,” he said.
“Sorry, but you asked.”
“I’ll get it half and half, because I like just about everything they can put on it.”
“That’s a man thing.”
“You’re probably right.”
“I’ll see you tonight, okay?”
“I look forward to it.”
I knew I was getting myself into something that I wouldn’t be able to get out of, but I had to see him. I needed his help in terms of obtaining additional HR information, but I also wanted to see him for just him. Which is why I knew there was a chance our intimacy would go further than the kiss I wouldn’t provide him with last evening. I wondered how I’d arrived at this point in my life. But I didn’t dwell on it for too long because none of that mattered. What was important was how I was going to rise to the next level in life without looking back. It was hard not looking back at any mistakes, but I knew it was better to move forward.
My phone rang again, and this time I debated whether I should answer it or not because I didn’t want any questions from Monica or my mother. But at the same time, I knew it could be Lorna, whom I didn’t want to ignore, or it could be one of the shop foremen. Or it could be Frank calling back. So I picked it up.
“Anise Miller,” I said.
“Hi, it’s me.”
Hearing from David was all I needed.
“So how are you?” I asked, trying to force a cordial tone.
“I’m fine. And you?”
“I’m good.”
“I thought I’d give you a call to see if you’re planning to buy me out of the house or if you want to place it on the market,” he said without hesitation.
“Well, I think you know that there’s no way I can afford a three-thousand-dollar mortgage on my own. So I guess we don’t have a choice but to sell it.”
“Do you have a Realtor in mind?” he asked.
“Not really, but I’m sure I can find one.”
“I think we should get the ball rolling on this as soon as possible before the divorce proceedings begin. I would do it myself, but it’ll be kind of hard meeting with them since I’m in Chicago most of the time.”