Taste of Reality (19 page)

“I agree with that.”

“So if you want to know why I’m so hesitant, those are the reasons,” I said.

“Well, at least you finally opened up to me. So I guess that’s a start.”

“I’m not promising anything, but I will say that I’m open to going out with you. I can’t say when, and it will make things a lot easier for me if you let me work toward this in my own time.”

“Say no more. I’ll back off until you feel more comfortable with it.”

“I’m not asking you to stop talking to me or to stop coming by my office. I’m just saying you’ve got to give me some time to work through some things emotionally.”

“That’s all I’ve ever asked, and I don’t expect anything more. I know this is bad timing like you said, but I can’t help the way I feel.”

“I can appreciate that, and I’m glad I finally got the chance to express what I’ve been thinking. I’ve been fighting with this on and off ever since we had lunch that day.”

“I sort of figured you were.”

I yawned. Not because he was boring me, but because I was two steps from nodding off.

“Am I that dull?”

“No,” I said, laughing. “Not at all. But I do have to get up early because I’m planning on taking my car by the body shop tomorrow morning before work, to get an estimate.”

“Why, what happened?”

“Someone rear-ended me the other night. There isn’t a lot of damage, but I still need to get it fixed.”

“You weren’t hurt, were you?”

“No, I’m fine. But it did scare me when I looked in my mirror and saw that the woman behind me wasn’t going to be able to stop.”

“Accidents are no fun.”

“No, but I did learn something. I’m never owning a car again. Because if it had been the other way around, with me driving her little Honda and her driving my SUV, I probably would have been killed.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Her front end was crushed to the point where she had to have her car towed, but my Lexus only has scratches.”

“You were lucky.”

“Actually, God was looking out for me.”

“That He was.”

We paused again.

“Well, Frank, I really enjoyed talking to you, but—”

“I know, you have to go.”

“Unfortunately I do.”

“Well, I hope you won’t take too long calling me again.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Sweet dreams,” he said.

I laid the black cordless phone on its base and blushed like ten people were watching me. I felt like I’d just finished speaking to the man of my dreams. I wasn’t sure where my relationship with Frank was headed or how it would turn out in the long run, but I was starting to think that maybe it was worth finding out.

I couldn’t forget about David, because, like it or not, he was still my husband. But I wasn’t going to shut out Frank anymore either. I wasn’t going to stay miserable while David did whatever he wanted to.

That much I was sure of.

E
VERYONE GATHERED
around the conference room table and waited for me to begin the meeting. Three weeks had passed since I’d accepted the promotion, and today was my first official day in my new office. I already knew Karla, my secretary; Jamie, my HR coordinator; and Mary, my HR specialist, but I figured it was a good idea to meet with them as a group, making our new working relationship somewhat easier. Although I wasn’t sure how this first day was going to play out, because I didn’t know if my staff was going to be receptive. Especially since Mary had applied for the job as well. But Lorna had heard that Jim didn’t care for Mary and hadn’t even bothered to consider her interest in the position. I wondered what that was all about, but hadn’t asked Lorna to elaborate. Now, though, I wondered how Mary felt about reporting to me when she’d wanted the job herself.

“Since this is my first day, I thought it would be a good idea for us to meet for a few minutes,” I began. “From everything I’ve
reviewed this morning, it looks like Bob has done an excellent job running this side of HR.”

Mary raised her eyebrows.

“Did I say something wrong?” I asked her.

“No, but I wouldn’t say he did an excellent job.”

“Really? And is there a reason why you feel that way?”

“Because the whole two years I’ve been here, I’ve worked my butt off trying to make him and this department look good.”

My question had been answered. Mary was disgruntled about not getting my position, and I didn’t know what to say to her.

So I made things up as I went along.

“I’ve always heard how great of an employee you are, and please know that I have nothing but the highest respect for your dedication to human resources.”

Her face started to brighten.

So I continued.

“I wouldn’t normally say this unless we were alone, but since it’s sort of out in the open, and because I want all four of us to work as a team, I will. I’m sorry that you didn’t get Bob’s position, because, believe me, I know what it’s like when you don’t get promoted into a position that you really want. I’m sure you know that I applied for the corporate manager’s position, but didn’t get it because they placed it on hold. I know that saying I’m sorry doesn’t help a whole lot, but I’m hoping none of this will cause a strain between the two of us.”

“I don’t have a problem with you, Anise, because this was Jim’s decision. But I
am
upset with him for giving the position to someone else, even though I’m the one who did most of Bob’s work whenever he wasn’t here or needed help. It’s not fair how they pick and choose certain people for certain jobs with no standard criteria. They do whatever they want, and couldn’t care less about who they hurt in the process.”

I didn’t know what to say, because I agreed with her completely. I knew exactly how she felt, and I had to admit that Jim should have
at least considered the fact that Mary already worked in this area. Which made me somewhat suspicious, because it was hard to believe that they’d given me any position over a qualified white employee. I’d been there maybe seven months longer than Mary, and while I wasn’t sure what her educational background was, it still was pretty unusual for them to give the job to a minority. Jim had told me I was perfect for Elizabeth’s job because I reported to her and had shared some of her responsibilities, so why wasn’t Mary the perfect person for Bob’s position when she’d done the same thing for him?

“I hear everything you’re saying. Believe me, I do. But what we have to do now is move on. I know that’s easier said than done, but I promise you, I’ll help groom you for management as much as I can, starting today.”

Karla and Jamie sat quietly, and I didn’t blame them. This was a touchy subject, and had Mary not brought it up, I never would have discussed this in front of them. But I had to try and place Mary at ease before her resentment blew out of proportion.

“I appreciate that, and I’m still going to perform the same way for you that I did for Bob. It’s just that I hate how Jim and Lyle handle things around here,” Mary said.

I wanted to tell her ditto, but it wasn’t the professional thing to do, now that I was a manager.

“So, Karla and Jamie, I’ve heard wonderful things about the both of you as well.”

“Glad to hear it,” Karla said.

“So am I,” Jamie added. “We’ve heard great things about you, too, and we’re happy that we’ll be working with you.”

“I appreciate that, and the main thing I want you to know is that my office is always open to you. So if you have any questions or concerns about anything, I want you to feel free to come see me. I know I’ve been given the responsibility of managing this department, but like I said before, I want us to work as a team.”

“Are you planning on making any changes?” Mary asked.

“I’m sure I will. Not because things aren’t already running the way they should, but I do have some ideas that might make our jobs a little easier and will improve certain aspects of what we do.”

“There’s definitely room for improvement,” Mary said. “Bob was good at what he did, and we liked him, but we all know a woman can do better.”

We all laughed at her comment.

“Mary, you think like my mom,” I said.

“Really?”

“Yes, because she always says, ‘Lord, I know I’m not supposed to question You, and believe me, Father, I never want to do that. But why oh why did You make man head of the household?’ “

We laughed, and I felt good about the rapport we were already building with each other.

“Well, I’m not going to keep you any longer, but for the most part, I wanted us to get more acquainted and to say I’m really looking forward to working with all three of you.”

They each smiled.

“So if you don’t have any other questions, I guess that’s it.”

“I don’t have a question, but I did want to let you know that I’ll be on vacation all next week,” Jamie said.

“Not a problem. Is there anything I need to know or do you and Mary already have a system worked out for when one of you is gone?”

“We do. We always cover each other’s workload and Karla helps out as well when one of us is absent.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be spending the next two weeks or so familiarizing myself with everything, and I’ll also still be helping the benefits section until they find a replacement for my old job. But, Mary, you let me know if you need help with anything.”

“I will,” she said, and I was glad to see her face soften more noticeably.

We left the conference room, and I sat down in my new office, which was much larger than my old one. I loved the contemporary gray ergonomic-styled desk and plush carpet that was mixed with hues of gray and tan. The walls were bare, but I had the perfect La Shun Beal painting I was going to bring in and hang. I already had two of his pieces hanging above two of our fireplaces at home, and had been keeping this latest one I’d purchased under wraps until I finally received my promotion.

I sat behind my desk feeling like I’d finally arrived. As late as yesterday, I still hadn’t been sure whether this was the right thing to do, but now I was happy I’d swallowed my pride and taken this promotion. It was a good thing, and while I’d been worried about them giving the corporate position to Kelli, it didn’t seem like Jim was ever going to release it from hold. I didn’t know how I was going to feel when he did, but at least he must have realized Kelli wasn’t the most qualified person for it. If he hired someone from the outside or transferred another manager into it, I could live with that a lot better.

My phone rang five times in thirty minutes, and each time it was the benefits secretary asking me to walk her through certain procedures. I’d even come in an hour early every day last week to spend time training her. I didn’t mind helping out, but I hoped they’d find someone to hire fairly soon so I could concentrate on my new responsibilities.

When I finished accessing the manufacturing program on the computer, I lifted a stack of memos I’d retrieved from my mailbox right after lunch. I read the first one, which mostly discussed safety issues in the shop, but the next one was from Jim.

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, Kelli Jacobson is being promoted to the position of corporate HR recruiting manager, reporting to me. Kelli has held three positions in human resources since starting with the company four years ago and is knowledgeable in all aspects of the department. Kelli will
now be responsible for recruiting all salaried positions, including those at the executive level. Please join me in congratulating Kelli as she settles into her new position.I wondered if I was dreaming. I guess, more than anything, I hoped I was. Because I didn’t want to believe that they’d hemmed and hawed all this time, waiting to drop this grenade on me. I knew they’d sent this memo to everyone in the company, but I was taking this personally for obvious reasons. I was so appalled, I couldn’t think. I took deep breaths trying to lower my blood pressure, which I knew had skyrocketed instantly.

I needed someone to tell me why the position suddenly was no longer on hold, because I hadn’t seen any of the “major reconstructing” Jim claimed he wanted to do. Which meant he’d lied the same as he did about everything else.

My underarms flooded with perspiration, and my body felt numb. I didn’t know what I should do first. Storm into Jim’s office or call EEOC in Chicago to find out what their business hours were.

I walked around my desk and slammed my door closed. I didn’t care who saw or heard it, and I dared someone to question me about it. When I sat back down, I did what I always do when Reed Meyers messes over me: call Lorna. But all I heard was her outgoing voice-mail message. I pressed the button and dialed Monica at her office, but when she didn’t answer I called Mom instead.

“Hello?” she answered, and I thanked God she’d gone straight home from work.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hey. You must have seen me walking through the door.”

“I guess so. And I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there. Mom, do you know that they gave that first job I applied for to someone else?”

“You mean the one that you said was on hold?”

“Yes. That one.”

“Who did they give it to?”

“Kelli. The girl I told you about who wasn’t as qualified as I was. So what they did was wait until I was all situated in this one and then they gave it to her,” I said, holding back tears.

“Baby, I am so sorry. I can’t believe they’ve done this.”

“Neither can I, but they’re going to pay. I am not going to let them get away with this. Not by far.”

“I don’t blame you, honey. Because if you keep putting up with this at every company you work for, nothing is ever going to change. Somebody’s got to stand up for what they believe in, and if it has to be you, then that’s just the way it is.”

I sniffled and swallowed hard.

“Honey, I know you’re hurting over this, but you’ve got to be strong. Because if you’re not, you won’t be able to do your job, and then they’ll really have a reason to discredit or try to fire you.”

“I know, Mom, but I’m so tired of having to go through this. I’m so tired of having to fight for what’s right and then not getting anywhere.”