Tangled Dreams (20 page)

“Gavin, sweetie?” I said still running my fingers though his hair.

“Huh?” Was all he managed to say in a very sleepy incoherent voice.

“You should go home now. Your exhausted.”

“I told you I would stay.” He mumbled with his eyes still closed. Which made my heart break a little bit more.

“You have school tomorrow and it is getting late. I over reacted. It’s alright if you go home. I’ll be home in a couple more days.”

“Alright.” Lifting his head up barely able to keep his eyes open. “I’ll check on you tomorrow. Is there anything you need?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Alright.” Stumbling getting up from the chair, letting go of my hand.

“Gavin?”

“Yeah?” Turning around before he got to the door,  yawning.

“Please be careful on the way home. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if you fell asleep at the wheel and something happened to you.”

Giving me a fake reassuring smile, “I’m alright Maddie I’ve been a lot more tired than this before and made it home just fine.” He said as he walked out of the door feeling bad for leaving her but, knowing he had to.

Sitting here after he left I was praying he made it home alright, he looked so exhausted. As if reading my thoughts the phone in my room rang. “Hello.”

“It’s me Maddie. I knew you would be worried so I called to let you know I got home alright. Now get some sleep.” Saying sternly.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Know me so well.”

“You’re a very caring person Maddie. I would have been worried also if the roles were reversed.”

“We’re a lot alike aren’t we Gavin?”

“Yeah, I suppose we are. Sleep well Maddie.”

“You to Gavin.”

“Maddie?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll be glad when you come home.”

With those last words I heard the click, and cradled the phone to my chest. He always knows what to say to make me feel better. I’ve never met someone so absolutely incredible my whole life. My dreams that night started out with him and unfortunately ended much the same way as they have been ever since daddy passed away. But, at least I got a few sweet dreams before the memory of that awful night came steam rolling back into my mind and my dreams.

The morning staff I had become well acquainted with. They all made the loneliness subside for a short time however, the sting was still here loud and clear. Aunt Julia stopped by in the morning for a couple minutes and filled me in that I would be going home tomorrow. Unfortunately he ordered me to bed rest for another week and I wondered if I was ever going to get back to school. Aunt Julia said she has already talked to all my teachers and that they all are very worried, promising they would have my homework sent home with Gavin. School was so important to me and I knew it was my best hope for a bright future. I couldn’t put it in jeopardy.

I passed the day by mostly sleeping. I was still so tired all the time. For not doing anything all day I couldn’t understand why I was so tired. Gavin stopped by after school and sat quietly and watched TV. with me for about an hour until he had to go home and do chores. He promised he would come the next day when I was discharged and seemed pretty happy about me coming home.

Today is finally the day I go home. Uncle William stopped by to sign papers to get me discharged, but couldn’t get away fast enough mumbling about the farm. He said Julia had to do something for the girls so one of them would be back in an hour or so to pick me up. Now I’m sitting here in my bed staring in disbelief. I really don’t know why I’m surprised. That’s just like him. Soon an hour passed and no sign of either one of them. The nurse helped me get up and get changed into some regular clothes that Aunt Julia had dropped off a couple of days ago. I was still really wobbly and it was still hard to walk without getting to dizzy. Just as I was getting help putting on my shoes Gavin breezed in with a smile on his gorgeous face. “Hi Gavin. What are you doing here?” I asked confused.

“I’m here to pick up our girl.” “How is she doing?” He asked turning to the nurse that was helping me.

“Just fine. She’s a strong girl. She’s all yours now if you want to finish helping her get her shoes on. I’ll go get a wheel chair so you can take her on home. We sure are going to miss her here.” She said brightly walking out of the room.

Gavin walking over to me bent down to help me get my other shoe on and tie it. “Gavin, you don’t have to do that.” I said trying to lean down to do it myself.

“Maddie, quit it. Why is it so hard for you to have people help you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t like feeling helpless. It seems like that’s all I’ve been feeling since I’ve moved here.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s true, but with a weeks bed rest your going to have to get used to it.” Finishing with my shoe and standing to help me up off the bed. Putting his hands around my waist he helped me stand just as the nurse arrived back with the wheel chair.

“Sit down darlin.” She was a plump happy woman with curly hair and a smile that could make anyone happy. I was going to miss seeing her. Her name was Trudy and I remember thinking about how good of a mother she was going to make someday and I felt a twinge of jealousy. It’s funny how short of a time you can get used to having certain people around. Gavin helped me down in to the wheel chair and walked behind me until we got outside and to the truck. “Wow sweetie that truck is awful high, are you going to be able to get her up in there alright?” Trudy asked with doubt and concern in her voice. He looked at her with a smile on his face.

“It’s not a problem.” Lifting me up and setting me in the seat like I weighed nothing at all. As he walked around the truck to get in it Trudy leaned in before shutting the door,

“Madison sweet heart. You don’t let him go.” Looking at her confused. “The look on that boys face when he was sitting there beside your bed all those days refusing to leave.” She shook her head, “I know that look all to well.” Winking at me as she shut the door. “You two be careful and take care of our girl.” Saying to Gavin with a warm smile on her face.

“Don’t worry Trudy, she’s in good hands.”

“I know she is darlin. Get well Ms. Madison.”

“I will. Bye Trudy.” Pulling away still thinking about what she had said. Exactly what did she mean? What look was she talking about? I know he was worried and I hated doing that to him, but that’s not what she was talking about. Oh I’m reading to much into this I thought to myself trying to brush away that now nagging feeling.

“Well, you happy to get out of there and get home?” Asking curiously eying me.

“Yeah, I’m excited to see everyone but, to be honest I don’t feel like I have a home anywhere.” I said staring out the window.

Sighing, “Maddie I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. Your are home now where your supposed to be.” Aggravated.

“Gavin I appreciate you saying such nice things, but my home was with dad, at my old apartment, in my old school. Now I just feel lost.”

“Maddie, I know you haven’t been here all that long, but I hope someday soon you can think of this place as home to.”

Looking at him, “I don’t know if that will ever happen, right now when I think of going home I just think of you. You are home to me.”

Looking at her I am just amazed on how randomly she lets me look straight into her heart one second and then the next second she closes me out again. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me.”

“Well, I don’t mean family as in like related or anything. That would just be weird.”

“What do you mean?” He asked baiting her to answer.

“Well, I just mean I look forward to coming back home and seeing you again. Mostly, as in, you mean a lot to me. As in home is not a place in particular, it can be wherever that special person is no matter where they are in the world.”

He looked away trying to hide his smile. He could tell that she was getting agitated.

“Alright. You had your fun.”

“Sorry, that really was a nice thing to say. I feel the same way Maddie.” He said as he reached over and squeezed my hand quickly.

I gave him a quick smile before I laid my head against the window, realizing how much just getting ready and leaving the hospital really took out of me.

“You alright Maddie?”

“Yeah, I’m just really tired all of a sudden.”

“Well, we’re almost home. Do you want to lay down in the seat?”

Yawning and a little dizzy and nauseous. “Yeah, I think I will lay down.” Sliding down I laid my head on the seat next to him gently. My head still throbbing especially where the stitches are. Sucking in my breath deeply in pain that made me want to black out from it.

“Maddie are you alright?” Gavin asked concerned.

“Yeah, I just jarred my head a little to hard.”

“You can rest your head on my leg. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Maddie you know I don’t mind.”

“I know it’s just that we haven’t been that close lately.”

“Maddie it’s okay.” Sliding in closer I laid my head on his leg and it did feel better. Dropping my hand down to his thigh to rest comfortably. I felt him gently brush my hair out of my face before clearing his throat uncomfortably like he just realized that he passed some invisible line. When really I wanted him not only to touch that invisible line but, blow right past it more than anything. But, yet again that’s just not possible. Dozing in and out of sleep I finally heard us pull in and Gavin put the truck in park.

“You awake Maddie?”

“Yeah, I said lifting myself up slowly aggravated that I had to go so slow. Getting out of the truck he came around and helping me out offering to carry me, of course I refused. So he slung my arm around his neck and basically carried me anyways. My feet didn’t hit the ground once and he took me into the house and up the stairs into my room. No one was home yet and that did make me feel like I didn’t really matter. I was just an annoying nuisance to everyone. Except Gavin. He has never made me feel that way. Sitting me down on my bed gently he leaned down to take off my shoes and yet again I complained that I could do it and he ignored me.

“I assume you want to wait to get changed into something more comfortable when mom gets home and can help you?”

To be perfectly honest I felt more comfortable with Gavin helping me than I did with Aunt Julia and that kind of scared me. After all a bra and panties are basically the same thing as a swim suit. And here we go again I thought to myself. “Well, would it be to much of a bother if you helped me? I really am exhausted and I wanted to lay down now. I can’t shake this nausea and dizziness.”

Looking at her nervously, he was going nuts inside. Yeah I want to help her of course but, the temptation is also to horrible to think about. Seeing his complete anguish on his face.

“Never mind I can sleep in my clothes I have on. No big deal.”

“Nah, I can help you. It’s alright.” He said nonchalantly with a nervous look on his face. Just when I thought he couldn’t get any cuter, he is even hotter watching him squirm.

Slapping his hands together rubbing them nervously, “Alright where’s your night gown? Is it that little number you wore that one night I rescued you in the woods?” Asking, winking at me.

Smiling “No Gavin I think It’s time to retire that night gown. My new one is over that chair.

“Ah bummer.“ He had to admit it was still sexy but everything looks sexy on her. Walking over to her chair he grabbed it, “Alright what do you want me to do?”

“Okay, let me take off my shirt. Can you kind of help me get the top of it over my head where my stitches are at?”

“Um yeah sure. Why not? I don’t think I’ve had enough torture for one lifetime.” Muttering under his breath to himself.

“What did you say Gavin?”

“Nothing. Lift up your arms.” Saying with a painful look on his face.

Lifting up my arms he gently took the bottom of my shirt and carefully lifted it up over my head. Taking it he threw it on the bed and stared into my eyes. “I know I shouldn’t say this right now or probably ever, but you are so beautiful.”

“Gavin. I don’t know what to say to that.” I said blushing and smiling reaching for my night gown and breaking eye contact. Afraid that I just might give into temptation and hop on him right here and now.

Sighing disappointed at her reaction he took it from her and gently put it over her head trying not to get an eyeful for his torturous dreams later. “You need help with your jeans?”

“No, I can’t get those easily enough.”

“Thank Go…um I mean okay. I’ll leave you alone then. Just holler if you need anything.”

“Alright. Thank you.” I said looking at him, the tension sizzling between us. He turned starting to walk toward his room. “Gavin?”

“Yeah, Maddie?” Stopping without turning around.

“I wanted to thank you again. You keep going above and beyond for me and to be honest I don’t deserve your kindness, or your loyalty, or even your time.”

“Maddie!” Aggravated turning around to argue with me.

“No, let me finish.” Standing there stunned that I got snappy with him he just quietly looked at me. “You have no idea how special you are to me because I know I don’t show it. You really are my best friend and I do appreciate you, and everything you have ever done for me. I appreciate you peeling me up off the ground when I fell and picking me up every other time I’ve been down and out. You’re the kindest, most handsome guy I have ever met and I am lucky to have you. I guess what they say is true when one door closes another one opens.” Getting up slowly I reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and he still just looked at me stunned. “Alright I’m done talking. I must have had to much medication.” I said slowly sitting back on the bed pealing my jeans off underneath my night gown and crawling under the covers. Gavin finally came back to his senses and put the sheet over top of me.

“Well, I need to find out where to get more of that medication because I like it when you tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.”

“Yeah well I think I might be delirious at this point.” I said pulling the sheet up and under my chin.

“Either way. Thanks.”

Right on cue that dreadful phone rang interrupting us coming to a new understanding. Gavin returning from answering it informed me it was Clay and that smile I worked so hard to get was now gone. “Please tell him that I’ll talk to him later.”

“Sure.” Now back to his solemn mood.

This time he didn’t come back into my room. I don’t blame him really. One minute I’m telling him how much I appreciate him and then the next Clay is dangled in his face. As I fell asleep I realized I couldn’t have both. I would eventually have to chose and cut the other out of my life completely.

Waking up to darkness my stomach was pitching a fit and it was after 10:00. Knowing everyone was in bed at this point, I couldn’t ignore the hunger pangs. Mustering up all my strength I gently pushed myself up out of the bed steadying myself. Leaning against my night stand I took one step, got dizzy and knocked into it hard enough to make a clatter. Gritting my teeth together I was hoping no one heard. That is until I heard my adjoining door to Gavin’s room bust open. He was only in a pair of boxers and was evidently ready to go to bed and looking so sexy. Looking around he flipped on my light.

“Maddie, what the hell are you doing?” Running to me grabbing my arm. “Sit down before you get hurt again.” Sitting me back down he stood directly in front of me with a disproving stare. “What the hell was so important that you had to get up and risk busting your head back open for?”

My anger boiling over for the embarrassment of not being able to take care of myself. “For one, I do have to go to the bathroom and for two I haven’t ate since breakfast.”

“Why didn’t you yell? I would of helped you.”

“Because I’m tired of asking for help. I’m always asking you for help. It’s got to stop.” I said disgusted with myself.

“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.” With a look of hurt on his gorgeous face.

He looked so tired and here I am again bothering him when he needs sleep. “Gavin I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well, it really doesn’t matter how you meant it because you do need help and I’m here so, basically what I’m trying to say is tough shit. I’m here now so deal with it.” I looked at him suprised in his sudden intolerance of me. I had to admit it did amuse me more than it made me mad. Lifting me back off the bed he helped me down stairs and to the bathroom. Then leaving me to go get a sandwich. Helping me back up to my room it was hard to concentrate on anything else besides him being in his boxers. I had never seen such a body of perfection in my life. Even harder to find the warm, caring person inside that posessed that body. A face so handsome that it draws you in and makes it hard to look away. Thinking that guys like this only existed in the story books dad read to me growing up, it was nice having one right in front of me. Not naive enough to believe that there are very many like him.