Taking the Heat (16 page)

Luckily I didn't have time to answer. In another heart-stopping bounce, Henry dropped to his knees on the elastin surface.

‘Tara, my gorgeous girl,' he said, eyes sparkling, ‘I have a question to ask you …'

Chapter 16

‘Henry, you're not about to propose, are you?' I laughed nervously.

Realising how he looked on one knee, Henry quickly scooted his feet around and sat on his butt. ‘No, no! Well, it is a proposal of sorts, I suppose …'

He patted the net beside him, and I sank down warily. ‘Yes …'

‘Don't go in the fantasy cabin.'

‘What?' The sun was hot on my skin, but his words made my blood run cold. I'd spent the last few days trying not to think about the inevitable end of my time on the island. With only a few words, Henry brought it all crashing back.

He looked at me, his creamy skin pink from sun and awkwardness. ‘Well, you see, I want to be with you, Tara. Not just here, on this ridiculous show, but afterwards. I think we could really have something special.'

‘Henry … you don't know me.'

‘But I want to get to know you! I want to know what makes you cry, your favourite smell, where you like to be kissed. I want to take you around the world, I want to show you off on my arm, I want to build you a castle and make beautiful children with you. Not right away, of course, but I can see all of those things with you.' He smiled, his expression distant as he viewed the future he'd imagined for us.

Then his eyes grew pained. ‘But I loathe the thought of you having to expose and sully yourself for this sake of money. You don't seem like the kind of girl who wants to have sex for money. So, I want to pay you not to go into the fantasy cabin.'

Feeling slightly unnerved, I answered quickly, ‘How do you know I haven't been in already?'

‘Well … uh, I just, um … I thought maybe you hadn't.'

Putting his flaming cheeks out of their misery, I said, ‘I haven't.'

‘Oh … good.' He locked his hands under his chin, praying for my acceptance. ‘Tara, I only came here to prove that I like women. And I like you. And whatever you're here for, money, fame, fun, I can give you all of those things. Just let me look after you, be my one and only and I will make your dreams come true.'

How is you paying me to not have sex any different to someone paying to actually do it?
Both are a form of control and involve selling myself in some way.

But looking at Henry's face, I knew his genuine heart didn't have anything but the best intentions. ‘Henry … I would love to accept.'

He gasped in delight and reached for me, but I held up my hand. ‘But I can't. I'm not here for me.' In a few short sentences, I told him about Ella and her situation. ‘So, you see, this isn't about me—it's about her.'

‘That's even better!' Henry enthused. ‘I'm on the board of a charity which supports young people with disabilities. We'll build your sister a house and arrange for as much care as she needs!'

For a moment, my greedy brain screamed,
Take the deal!
It seemed so perfect. But as logic kicked in, I answered, ‘That's so incredibly generous. But what if we don't work out? Would Ella lose her home? Should she miss out on her care because I make the easier choice here?'

‘Tara … I would never …' Henry was horrified, his mouth a massive O.

‘I know, I know you would never mean to hurt me,' I quickly recanted. ‘But Ella is my responsibility. I'm the one who should suffer so she suffers less.'

‘I don't want you to suffer.'

It's nothing I don't deserve.
‘Thank you, Henry.'

‘We're here for another two weeks or so—will you do your best not to enter the cabin yet? Give me a chance to win your heart, Tara. I promise, I'll be careful with it.' He smiled at me, full of hope.

‘I can't promise anything, but know that I don't want to go in there.'

‘I know.'

The mood was getting heavy, and there was already enough weight in my heart to last for ten lifetimes. ‘Hey, will you have a swim with me?'

‘Certainly!'

We had the skipper stop the boat and leaped from the side into the crystal waters. And for the few moments I hung in the air, my worries were suspended.

***

The sun was dropping into the ocean as we made our way back to the jetty, slightly sunburned and exhausted. I wanted a nap and a shower, but with the secret reveals ahead of us, I would have to settle for just the shower.

‘Thank you for today, Henry.' I wanted to give him a kiss on the cheek, but with the rules in place, I blew him a kiss instead. ‘It was perfect.'

‘You're welcome, my beautiful Tara.' He bowed and escorted me back to my door, the perfect gentleman.

Mama Ruby banged on the bathroom door after only two minutes. ‘Child! Get your bony backside out here, now!'

‘Mama! I need to wash the salt out of my hair.'

‘I'll be washing to sass out of your mouth if you're not careful.'

‘Okay, okay.'

I settled for a fresh-water rinse, which worked fine for my bossy hair lady. She ran a serum through my strands and left it looking tousled and free. A pair of white short shorts skimmed my sun-kissed thighs, riding the curve of my butt, and the elegant aqua kaftan was deliciously light against my sensitive skin.

In crystal-studded sandals, I navigated the walkways to the bungalow. With every step, I could feel my stress levels rising. I hadn't seen Chris since the hospital. I wasn't sure if seeing him would be damaging or healing.

When I could push him out of my brain, by sleeping or concentrating with all my will, I had some sort of neutral calm. But in every other second, he haunted me, ran in my veins, swam in my every conscious thought. If I showered, it was Chris' hands on my body. When I lay in bed, I imagined what he looked like sleeping. Even my morning tea felt torturous—a reminder of my coffee boy.

And now I would be in the same room as him again, breathing the same air. A strange noise escaped me, something between a sob and a hiccough. If I'd never screwed up that night, Ella would be fine, and I would have followed Serena to the auditions as her cheerleader. I would have met Chris when I went in to buy tea. We would have clicked and dated and been happy.

I have no one to blame for losing him but myself.

Shaking my head, I tried to find the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
If I can fix Ella's life, at least a little bit, maybe one day I can be happy.

The bungalow was strung with flaming candles and tropical flowers. As I entered, I scanned for Chris, but he hadn't arrived.

A female competitor approached me. ‘It is Tara, isn't it?' The stunning Indian girl touched my arm shyly.

‘It is. I'm so sorry, we haven't met yet. What was your name?'

‘I am Aanya.' Her eyes were like black pools and her henna-dotted hands twisted nervously. ‘May we speak?'

‘Sure.'

We moved to a long cane lounge and a waiter swanned by, presenting us with tropical drinks. I sipped the pineapple concoction and said, ‘What's up?'

‘How are you feeling? I saw you fall and I thought, my gosh, I hope she is alright.' Aanya leaned forward, her luxurious dark hair swaying around her like a living creature.

‘I'm feeling much better, thanks, mate.'

‘Oh, good. I know Chris has been very worried, also.'

I lost my breath at the mere mention of his name. ‘You've been speaking with Chris?'

‘Yes. He was quite sad after returning from the hospital. We had a date the next day.' Her face became dreamy. ‘I have met Australian men before. They often stay in my family's hotel, but they are always rude and drunken. Chris … he is wonderful.'

‘He is.' The words were strangled.

‘I know there has been something between you both, but Chris and I have seen quite a bit of each other in the last few days.' Steeling herself, she beseeched me with those expressive eyes. ‘I would never dream of ruining a relationship, but Chris said that you have ended things between you both. I want to believe him, but I need to hear it from you. Is it alright if I see him?'

NO!
I wanted to scream, to slap and bite and scratch, to run and find Chris and wrap my legs around him, drag him to the ground, make him mine, then steal him away to a universe where no one else existed.

But this was the universe I lived in and I'd been the one to push Chris away. If I couldn't be with him, I wanted him to be happy. And the elegant Indian girl sitting in front of me seemed like the sweetest, most gracious person on the island. She might be the one to heal what I had ruined in him.

So, with my chest heaving, I ground my teeth and said, ‘Chris was telling the truth. I've asked him to leave me alone. I hope you can treat him better than I have.'

She looked puzzled. ‘He told me you hold him responsible for the fall, but you don't seem angry at him.'

‘I'm over it,' I replied, flippantly. I couldn't handle anymore of her insightfulness and classy ways and all-round loveliness. I stood. ‘Nice to have met you.'

She rose to see me off, leaning in swiftly for a hug, the scent of jasmine cloying around her. ‘I'm so glad we talked. This place, it is a strange experience to be a part of, and it's nice we can all stick together.'

‘Yeah, great.' I felt hot, heavy tears brimming and I walked off, leaving Aanya standing awkwardly.

Needing a moment of quiet before Miles and his next round of secrets, I fled the bungalow. I hurried along the walkway to the pool deck. The night was cloudy; I couldn't even find comfort in the stars as I sat on a wooden deck chair, staring up in the hope my tears would subside.

My favourite cameraman/stalker panned around slowly, capturing me in my misery.

‘You again?' I asked.

‘You're my favourite,' he whispered. ‘We can fill a whole episode just with your dramas. The producers love you.'

‘That's nice,' I said, sarcastically. ‘I'm glad my depressing life makes such good TV.'

‘You have no idea—ratings are through the roof.'

The idea of millions of strangers finding my adventures interesting was simply too bizarre. I wasn't thinking about life after the show—only getting through it. ‘Fine, if you're going to stalk me, I should at least know your name.'

‘I'm Greg. Now, if you could do me a solid, do you mind just standing at the edge of the decking, and staring out to sea? If you feel like crying, that would be brilliant, but I'd settle for some deep sighs.'

‘You've got to be kidding me.'

‘Please?' His bearded face stuck out from around the camera. ‘I'm in line for a bonus, and my wife is pregnant with our second.'

Huffing, I walked to the railing, and looked out to the horizon. The wind flowed up from the beach, streaming my hair out behind me in a long banner.

I'd almost forgotten about Greg, Aanya and Henry, when the one person I couldn't keep out of my thoughts joined me at the railing.

‘Tara.' Chris looked gaunt. His strong tan face appeared almost grey and his shoulders were rounded and sad. ‘I don't want to bother you. I just wanted to make sure you're okay.'

I couldn't answer him. The physical agony of having him so close was too much, striking me dumb.

‘Aanya said she'd spoken to you. I … she thought you didn't seem as upset at me over the challenge as maybe I thought you were.' His voice cracked. ‘Babe, I am sorry, you know I am. And if you can forgive me, I promise, I'll always be there for you.'

He didn't move any closer, not using his physical power over me, the way he could have. Instead he stood back, respectfully.

All I wanted was to do grab him by the collar of his white linen shirt and kiss away the hurt I'd caused on his face. I clutched the rail harder and forced myself to look to the water.

‘Babe, what is it? There's something going on, isn't there? Why won't you look at me?' His voice grew stronger. ‘I know you think I don't know you, but I do. There's something between us, and you're scared. Tell me why you're pushing me away!'

‘Aanya's nice,' I said, keeping my voice as neutral as possible.

‘I don't want to talk about Aanya right now.'

‘I think she'd be good for you.'

‘She would be, actually.' Chris' tone turned hard. ‘She talks to me. She's open and easy and caring. She's beautiful too.'

Every word was like a scalding splatter of boiling oil, and nausea swirled in my stomach.

Chris leaned in. ‘She's a perfect choice.' His eyes flashed a darker shade of cobalt. ‘Unless you can give me a reason not to be with her.'

Tears rolled freely over my cheeks. I didn't even try to hide them.

‘Babe, I will find out why you're holding back. I just hope it won't be too late.'

He left and I gave Greg his wish, weeping into the night wind.

Chapter 17

Transcript of Tara M's video diary: Day 12

The rest of the night was a blur. I sat in the very back corner of the bungalow, letting Miles' voice wash over me as he revealed Beau the cowboy was illiterate.

Aanya was topic of secret number two. Apparently, her mother is a caste lower than she claims to be, which sent the gentle girl into elegant tears. Chris leaned in to comfort her and my insides bled from a thousand places, as if simply watching them together was like swallowing broken glass.

Miles handed me an envelope with the hard-earned name from the pool challenge—sadly, I won't be sleeping with Loris in the fantasy cabin—and I left the party as soon as I was able.

Today was a very different kind of day.

A runner arrived with my breakfast this morning. As well as French toast, he brought the message that the challenge was cancelled, and instead, all contestants were required to meet at the beach at 6pm sharp.