Taking the Heat (27 page)

With my heart simultaneously heavy and happy, I answered. ‘Sure.'

Inside the privacy of my room, I opened my envelope, praying the name on the paper would start with a D.

Toshi

‘Crap on a stick!' I yelled to the sky. At least I knew Clara wouldn't be out for my blood.

So, it's not Loris and it's not Toshi …
That left eight guys I could potentially be having sex with: six of which I could bear, one who I wished for and one who would sully my soul forever.

***

Transcript of Tara M's video diary: Day 19

Knowing that I wasn't going to have to sleep with the guy made my smile much wider when I opened the door to him this morning.

‘Toshi! Good to see you, mate!'

‘And you, Tara.' He bowed his head slightly at me, his jet black hair falling forward over his face slightly. ‘Clara and I missed you last night at the beach party.'

‘She's not mad at me too?'

‘No. She said to tell you …' he coughed, apparently uncomfortable, ‘
…fuck the haters, you are my bitch.
I think it's meant to be positive.'

I smiled. ‘Thanks, Toshi. I appreciate the message.'

He led me along the path towards the bungalow. ‘I cannot help but feel responsible for Clara's lack of attention to you. We have been spending many hours together. But we looked for you last night. You should listen to her. Don't let others become a weight around your neck.'

‘I was pretty tired,' I said quickly. ‘The after-challenge parties are optional, anyway.' Also, the thought of seeing Chris, of not knowing where we stood with each other, the silence stretching between us … I wimped out.

Glanced at Toshi, I noticed the similarity between our outfits. We both wore flowing cotton pants in black. Toshi had a kimono-style top wrapped around his broad frame, while I wore a fitted tank, also in black. We looked like extras from
The Matrix
, about to be schooled by Morpheus.

My instincts appeared to be right on. The bungalow had been cleared of furniture, and padded blue mats lay all over the floor. ‘I'd like to teach you some basic martial arts, if you wish to learn,' said Toshi.

Actually excited, I replied, ‘Yes! That would be awesome!' Considering how defenceless I'd been against Dante, I'd take any training I could get.

‘Have you studied any martial arts before?'

We stepped onto the mats and I gripped the surface with my toes, testing the give. ‘Not really. I worked with a Capoeira instructor once who showed me a few moves, but that was really about it.'

‘You carry yourself like a dancer.' Toshi knelt and I followed his lead.

‘Yeah, I've got a few years of contemporary under my belt. Why?'

He enlightened me. ‘Both dance and martial arts are similar. They require strength, balance, discipline, flexibility and fitness.'

We spent a pleasant few hours training, exploring different styles from Karate to Ju-Jitsu. I was a total newbie, but Toshi was a patient teacher, guiding me through positions and explaining movements and history.

After an extended kicking session, striking Toshi's padded hands with my feet repeatedly, I flopped to the mat, drained. ‘That felt great! God, it's fun to punch stuff.'

‘
Hai.
' He nodded at me, benignly. ‘Are you ready to eat? It is always more satisfying to feast after combat.'

The far end of the bungalow was laid with a Japanese-style banquet on the floor. We sank to cushions and refreshed ourselves with rice and green tea.

‘This was perfect. Thanks for organising, Toshi.'

‘You are most welcome. I will tell you, this has been the same date for every girl I've seen, except Clara. But you have been the most willing student.'

‘Cheers. Hey, what did you do for your date with Clara?'

Toshi sipped his tea, long fingers curling around the delicate cup. ‘I flew her to the main island, to a music studio. She professionally recorded a song there, one she wrote for me.'

‘So, I'm guessing you and Clara are doing pretty well again?' I asked, munching on thinly sliced beef.

Toshi's face lit up in a rare, genuine smile. ‘We are very close. My heart is glad.'

Curiously, I questioned, ‘Do you think she's really over the cheating thing? I'm not trying to be blunt, I'm just really interested in how you can move past something when you've been really hurt.'

‘People are naturally imperfect. No matter what your relationship, whether parent, child, friend or lover, there will always be mistakes on both sides. It's how we choose to accept the flaws of the people who surround us that determines our peace.' He closed his eyes meditatively. ‘Clara is on the path.'

***

Dolled up in an adorable mint and pink floral playsuit, I walked back to the bungalow later that evening. I'd had a great time with Toshi but my renewed confidence began to dissipate as I reached the steps of the bungalow.

Inside, I could see Chris and Aanya sitting together at a table, while Jen pushed past me, still livid. In the face of so much rejection, I opted for a quick walk on the beach to gather my thoughts.

Standing in the shallows, I allowed the warm waters to lap at my feet, while my brain whizzed around, spilling thoughts, logic, fear, emotion.

I'm okay. Filming is almost done—just one more date and one more challenge, and we're finished. Who cares if the man you love is off giving you space or the woman you gave fifty grand to now hates you? Get your million, get out. That was the plan all along.

Drawing the words
JUST DO IT!
in the sand with my toes, I dotted the exclamation point deeply, then turned to face the bungalow.

Dante waited for me at the base of the steps. ‘
Buonasera,
my little Australian friend! Dreaming about me?'

Not deigning to answer, I tried to move past him but he stepped sideways and blocked me. ‘Move, freakshow.'

His greasy hair gleamed in the low light and his features were distorted in a horrid grimace. ‘Dante has been in his cabin every night since he claimed his key. And no one comes! So, I ask myself, who is the shy
cazzo stuzzicare
who avoids my bed?'

Horror began to overwhelm me as I frantically tried to convince myself I couldn't possibly be the only girl yet to spend a night in the fantasy cabins.

‘But Dante knows … time is running out for her,
si?
Tick, tock!' Dante laughed uproariously. ‘One way or another, you will feel the fire of my
belino
. Whether you like it or not …'

He blew me a kiss and slithered off. And that's when I made my decision.

I'm not going into the fantasy cabin.

Chapter 26

(Producer, off-camera:
What exactly do you mean by you're not going in?
)

I'm not going in. I can't do it.

(B-but … your million bucks!)

I can live without it. I've already won seventy grand. That's not enough for a house, but it's enough for a deposit. We'll make it work.

(Umm … are you sure you don't …)

Dude! This is a done deal! Move on! God knows I'm trying to …

So anyway, I headed into the bungalow just in time. The cameras were rolling as Miles did a little kick-ball-change move on the stage.

‘Tonight's
What You Don't Know
is titled
Youthful Indiscretions.
And first up is one of the corner pieces from our New Zireland love triangle!' He chortled at his own cleverness, then turned beady eyes on Nik.

‘Nikau is a Maori—a culture all about family. Surely that's a bonus, right, Meghan? A lad who's a real family guy? Unless, of course … he's already started one!'

On the screen, Nik appeared with a little boy in his arms. The kid was about four or five, with black curly hair and huge white teeth. The resemblance between father and son was striking; their identical bright grins and happy eyes were a giveaway.

Everyone looked to Meghan and Nik, anticipating fireworks. Meghan sighed. ‘If there's one thing I've learned the past few weeks, it's that going off half-cocked just sends everything arse-ways. Nik, talk to me, love.'

His face was creased with deep tension lines, which eased as Meghan nodded at him encouragingly. ‘It's true, ay. I have a small fella, his name is Tane.' Nik pronounced it
Tah-nay.
‘I knocked up a girl when I was seventeen. We're not still together, but I support my little man. He's the best thing I've ever done.'

Nik spoke to Megs as if she was the only one in the room. ‘Girl, the only reason I didn't tell you was because I was trying not to get Tane involved in this show. I hope you understand, but if you don't, that's okay too, ay.'

Meghan's face split into a forgiving smile. ‘Ah, go way outta that, of course I do. I'm only sorry that it had to come out like this.' She turned to Callum, who leaned against a pillar at the back of the room. ‘And Callum, I owe you an apology too. My temper runs a bit hot sometimes, but you were a kid … and I forgive you.'

Callum's cheeks burned a fierce red. ‘Cheers, Han,' was all he could manage, the emotion choking him.

Meghan spoke to the entire room, her scarlet hair wafting around her like a flame. ‘And that goes for everyone. We should all forgive each other, because if you dig into anyone's past you'll find something they'd rather forget or keep private.' Wise beyond her years, she finished, ‘Don't let these arseholes ruin the beauty of the relationships we've built here.'

‘Fucking A, Megs.' Clara stood on our table, ready to do battle. Over our heads, she cried, ‘I know what Miles is about to say, and I'm gonna beat that fucker to it.' She looked down at Toshi, her tears rolling already. ‘I fucking love this man, and I choose to believe that love can conquer all, even fuckwit reality-show producers. Toshi, honey-boo, you need to know … I got married when I was 17.'

Sure enough, a low-resolution photo of Clara and another teenager flashed up on the TV. They both looked rotten drunk, Clara wearing a leopard-print mini dress and her groom in a David Guetta T-shirt. An Elvis impersonator stood behind them as the couple kissed clumsily. The watermark on the pic read
Graceland Wedding Chapel.

Clara jumped down and dropped to her knees on the floor by Toshi's feet. ‘I was so fucking stupid. My parents told me they were moving us back to Japan and I flipped out, stole their car, dragged this random guy from high school out to Vegas and married him. It was annulled a week later, but it's still on the fucking records.' She bowed her head. ‘Forgive me.'

Toshi pushed off his seat and knelt with Clara. ‘My beautiful songbird. There is nothing to forgive.'

The way they stared at each other, the love almost visibly draping between them, cracked my heart open. I twisted in my chair to meet Chris' eyes, finding them burning back into my soul with the same emotion I felt. The walls between us melted a little as we smiled tentatively at each other.

But as Aanya leaned forward and spoke to Chris, the good feelings vanished like a fart in the wind.

Miles slunk off the stage and the night was over. Toshi and Clara said goodnight, and I raced to catch up with Megs, and told her I was so proud of her.

As I headed for home, a gentle tug on my sleeve held me back. ‘Tara … may I walk with you?'

‘Aanya. I'm not really in the mood for a chat.' My voice was flat and my tone harsh.

Aanya shrunk into herself like a bruised butterfly, her chin tucked downward. ‘I promise, I will not need much of your time.'

Her delicate expression and beautiful, beseeching face tipped me over. ‘Fine.' I couldn't say no; it would be like kicking a puppy. We walked along the wooden path, Aanya trailing slightly behind me.

‘I need to clarify something with you, something which might be of interest. Chris and I …'

Are in love? Are getting married? Are pregnant?
‘What, Aanya?'

She flinched. ‘We … we are not together.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Well, since the cyclone, I owe Chris my life. He literally saved me and I can never repay that. We have become friends.'

‘With benefits?' I said, curtly.

‘No!' She shook her head, the elegant coils of mahogany hair bouncing softly. ‘No, just friends, genuine friends. My feelings changed after the storm; I couldn't see him as my lover anymore. He is my saviour and my brother. Besides, there's only room in his heart for one girl … and that isn't me.'

My pulse throbbed in my temple. ‘Why are you telling me this?'

‘Because I see the way he looks at you and how you look at him. Also, the way you look at me, which is not very friendly.' There was a cheeky glint in her eye as she spoke. ‘I know you are both struggling and I am trying to be there for Chris as his friend, because he is alone and hurting. But I am also in your corner, Tara. I am hoping very much that love will overcome.'

At some stage, I had begun crying without even realising it. ‘Haven't you heard? I'm basically a prostitute! Taking Henry's money and screwing Chris over!'

Aanya smiled understandingly. ‘I never believed that clip, even before Henry came and spoke to me.'

‘Chris did.'

‘No, he doesn't. Chris is an honourable man. He is trying to give you what he thinks you need. And unless you tell him differently, what he believes you want right now is space.'

Now, I sobbed like a waterfall. Aanya pulled me to her sweet-smelling chest and rubbed my back. ‘
Shah, shah,
it is alright, you will see.'

‘I don't know what to think anymore!' I said, brokenly. ‘I don't know if I can live without him, but it's so hard!'

Aanya wiped the tears from my face and stared lovingly at me. ‘Nothing is impossible for pure love.'

***

Transcript of Tara M's video: Day 19