Sweaters & Cigarettes (13 page)

Cassie makes her way past Theo,
dropping her voice to almost a whisper.

"See, not busy," she
says.

"Cassie―" Theo
says, almost warningly, but she ignores him.

"Good luck," she trills,
sweeping past him, and Theo glances after her as she leaves, before looking
back at Max.

Both Jay and Beth seem a bit
surprised at Max's sudden distraction, but Jay doesn't seem to mind. Instead,
he turns to Rachel and starts talking to her, while Beth looks almost comically
offended at Max's abrupt ending of their conversation.

Max's eyes are fixed on Theo, and
Theo closes his locker. He wants to go over there, simply because he just wants
to be
near
Max, but he doesn't really move. He's embarrassed to admit
it, but he's kind of intimidated by Max's friends. Okay,
very
, just like
he was intimidated by Max before he actually got to know him, and he's not
really into the idea of just throwing himself into their group.

But Max seems to know this (of
course he knows, that dick), and instead of going over to Theo, he tilts his
head, raising his eyebrows slightly, as though daring Theo to come to him. And
Theo glances around for a moment, gripping the shoulder strap of his bag a bit
tighter, before taking a breath.

This shouldn't even be an issue.

So Theo goes against his instinct
of simply avoiding Max's friends, and makes his way over there, one hand in his
pocket and the other still firmly gripping his bag. And Max smirks as he comes
closer, fond amusement clear in those eyes.

"Hey," he says, when Theo
reaches him, and Theo tries not to glance at Max's friends, who all look up at
him. Max doesn't seem to care, and so, Theo decides not to, as well.

"Hey," he replies, and
Max gently grabs his wrist, making Theo take his hand out of his jeans pocket,
so that the two of them can lace their fingers together.

Theo has never spoken to any of
Max's friends, but he recognizes them, and when he actually looks over at them,
their expressions are hard to read. There's Rachel, with her white-blond, long
dreadlocks, a stark contrast to the black eyeliner, red lipstick and black
clothes, and she looks so bored it's almost funny. Theo doesn't feel any
welcoming vibes from her, but when she glances at Max, as though asking
something, Max looks at her pointedly, and she softens a bit.

"Come on," she says,
tugging at Beth's black sleeve, before turning around to walk away.

Jay lingers for a second, and meets
Theo's eye. He's skinny, looking oddly fragile in the layers of black and
buckles, especially with the black eyeliner and black hair, along with
silver-buckled, black boots that somehow look to heavy for him. When he catches
Theo's eye, though, he quirks a small, friendly smile.

"Later," he says, and
Theo is too surprised to reply. Instead, he just stares as Jay turns around to
follow after Rachel.

Beth stays put for another second,
though, but Theo doesn't think about it, turning back to Max.

"I―" he starts, but
shockingly, Beth cuts him off.

"Excuse me," she says,
frowning at him, and Theo looks at her. "We're talking. How about you mind
your own business?"

Theo is so stunned, and frankly so
insecure at her sudden, venomous attitude, that he doesn't know what to say.
He's just shocked at how much blatant rudeness can come out of such a small
person with such a pretty face. Then again, it's not like it's the first time
he has been proven wrong, when it comes to someone's appearance.

Max spares him the trouble of
answering, though, and only a second or so passes, before he turns to Beth.

"How about you go fuck
yourself?" he says lightly, without flinching, looking straight at her.
"God knows, someone has to."

Beth snaps her mouth shut, and the
look she gives Max is downright deadly. But Max doesn't seem to care, instead
just raises his eyebrows pointedly, and after a few seconds, Beth actually
turns around and strides away, catching up with Rachel and Jay.

Max exhales tiredly, and Theo
watches Beth leave for a minute.

"She doesn't like me, does
she?" he asks softly, and Max cocks his head, as though confirming it.

"Well," he says. "To
be fair, she doesn't really like anyone."

He looks back at Theo, and gives
him a soft smile. So soft, that Theo still isn't used to it, and it makes a
warm feeling settle somewhere in his stomach.

"So, hey, listen." Max
says after a moment, glancing down at Theo's chest. He tugs slightly at the
lapels of his jacket, as though pulling them back into place, like they were
messed up, to begin with. "You got any plans this weekend?"

Theo doesn't answer for a moment;
he's too distracted by the way Max suddenly, adorably and uncharacteristically,
avoids eye-contact.

"No," he says.
"Why?"

Max glances up at him, before
looking back at his chest, as though the front pockets of his dark green jacket
are extremely fascinating.

"Well, I was thinking,"
he says, almost muttering. "You wanna stay over?"

Theo raises his eyebrows the
slightest bit, slightly surprised. And then, of course, after the split second
it takes for that question to sink in, he feels his heart beat a bit faster.

"Stay over?" he asks
dumbly. "You mean, like..."

Max looks up at him, eyebrows
slightly raised, as though amused at Theo's confusion.

"Spending the night," he
clarifies. "My parents are away for the weekend, something about a
business conference. My dad's the one going, but mom's coming, too. Like a little
vacation, or at least that's what they called it."

Theo has a hard time imagining Max
saying that string of words in any way that doesn't sound sarcastic;
like a
little vacation
. And sure enough, Max's voice is practically dripping with
sarcasm, as he says it. Theo is a bit more unprepared for the oddly bitter tone
that laces the rest of his statement, though, but he doesn't mention it.

"Yeah," he says, nodding.
He clears his throat uncertainly. "I mean, if you want."

Max smirks, the slightest hint of
amused affection in his eyes.

"If I didn't want you
to," he says, "I wouldn't have asked."

Theo gives him a small smile,
glances down at the floor for a moment. Then he nods, tightening his grip
slightly on the shoulder strap of his bag.

"Then, yes," he says,
looking back up at Max. "I'd like that."

Max blinks, as though just the
tiniest bit surprised, but in a very good way. And he smiles, as though a bit
relieved.

"Okay," he says, nodding. He tugs absently,
one more time, on Theo's jacket, before leaning in and kissing him softly,
chastely. "It's a date."

Chapter 10

Pizza

Right. Okay.

Theo distractedly looks around his
room, wondering what, exactly, one is supposed to bring when spending the night
at their boyfriend's house for the first time. Toothbrush? Change of underwear?
Somehow, it feels weird to plan it out, like the whole thing should somehow be
spontaneous and completely relaxed and natural.

Yeah, right.

He ends up taking the shoulder bag
he uses for school; he and Max both figured that they might as well try and get
some studying done, too. Although, Theo isn't entirely sure they're actually
going to do that. But it's a good excuse to bring his bag, where he can
casually place a toothbrush and a change of underwear. You know, just in case.
No big deal.

Theo doesn't usually pay too much
attention to what he wears; he mostly just goes with what's comfortable.
Although, Michael and Hannah did give him a small makeover when he first
started hanging out with them, trading in all his ugly sweaters for slightly
more fashionable ones, Hannah teaching him the basics of how to match stuff,
and Michael dragging him along to the gym every now and then.

Theo remembers feeling a bit
awkward about all of it, mostly because he didn't understand what difference it
would make. But he has come to realize, since then, that it was all probably a
good idea. He knows how to dress properly, now (despite the occasional, geeky
t-shirts), and he's in pretty good shape, thanks to the mild workout habit
Michael practically forced him into. If he's completely honest with himself, he
does
look way better, physically, than he did only a year ago. Even
though he is still pretty much the same awkward, shy nerd on the inside, and
the most interesting his outfit ever gets is washed-out jeans and a dark green
Henley.

Right
, Theo thinks, absently double-checking his bag.
Toothbrush, schoolbooks―

Condoms?

Theo's head snaps up so fast he
feels like he might get whiplash, and he just stares at the opposite wall, eyes
wide. He lets that thought sink in for a moment, before he starts blushing
furiously, swallowing hard.

No. No, he did not just think that.

Yes, you did
, a tiny voice says.
You did just think that.

Theo actually covers his face with
his hands, groaning slightly. It's not like the thought hasn't occurred to him
before, but it was still distant, then, in the future. Now, it's suddenly here,
tonight
, and he can't avoid thinking about it.

What if that's what happens
tonight? What if Max is actually
expecting
that? They've been together
for a little while, after all, after seeing each other for much longer, and
it's not like they haven't done stuff like that before. And Theo must admit
that he really does
want
something to happen.

But tonight? He
is
a virgin,
after all, and Max most definitely isn't. What if Theo doesn't get it right?
What if he somehow messes it up?

What if he's just not ready for it?
Sex is a pretty big deal, after all. At least to him, seeing as how he hasn't
actually done it, before. And he's kind of embarrassed to admit that for a guy,
he really is a bit of a romantic. He can't imagine having sex with just anyone,
especially not the first time around.

But Max isn't just anyone. He
really isn't.

Theo sighs heavily, removing his
hands from his face and feeling his skin cool off as the nervous blushing
fades. He chews his lip, thinking.

No, he's not bringing condoms. And
even if he were planning to, he doesn't even have any. Which is somehow
embarrassing enough, as it is.

Theo checks his cell phone as he
leaves his room; it's just past six p.m., so Max is expecting him any minute,
now.

He barely makes it down the stairs
and into the hall, before his dad talks to him.

"Hey," he says, sitting at
the kitchen table. He's just home from work, reading some magazine about cars,
while Riley sits across from him doing homework. Amy is standing by the stove,
frying something. Theo doesn't know what it is, but it smells good, and he
feels his stomach rumble a bit.

"Yeah?" he answers his
father, putting on his shoes, and Eric looks up.

"You doing the dishes
tonight?" he asks, and Theo deliberates for a second.

"Uh," he says absently,
without thinking. "No, I won't be home, tonight."

It's not until his father looks at
him quizzically that he realizes that that might have been a bad answer, even
though he was going to let them know, anyway. He's just not ready for the
question that follows.

"Really?" Eric says.
"Where are you going?"

Theo keeps his eyes on his bag,
tries to not seem too flustered. His father has the same dark brown hair and
hazel eyes as Riley, but he also has the same way of coming off as though he
knows more than he's letting on. He generally lets it go, though, as opposed to
his youngest son, and Theo vaguely wonders sometimes, how much like him Riley
will be when he grows up. Hopefully, he won't be as gruff.

"Just, uh..." Theo
eloquently musters, snapping his bag shut. "Going out."

He can practically feel his dad
narrowing his eyes slightly, and he can feel Riley sitting at the kitchen
table, eyes darting back and forth between them.

"With who?" Eric says,
and Theo fidgets a bit.

"Just a guy," he says,
uncertainly. He's not quite ready for this conversation, just yet.

Eric picks up on it, but Amy is the
one who chimes in.

"A guy?" she says, with
typical, motherly interest, as she turns around. "What guy?"

"A guy," Theo mutters,
shrugging. Of course, Max is so much more than just
a guy,
but he's not
about to go into that now.

"Who is he?" Amy says,
and Theo can hear the suggestive smile in her voice. He sighs.

"Just a guy I'm seeing,
okay?" He can feel himself starting to blush. "It's not
important."

"This
guy
is seeing my
son," Amy retorts fondly. "I think it's pretty important."

Riley fidgets a bit in his seat,
Theo can see it out of the corner of his eye.

"I've met him," Riley
finally says, a bit uncertainly. "He's cool."

"What?" Theo tenses up a
bit, as he hears his mother's tone. She sounds mostly surprised, but also the
tiniest bit confused. "You've met him?"

"Yeah." Riley shrugs,
downplaying the whole thing.

"Well, who is it?"

Riley doesn't answer her.

"Theo," Amy says, turning
to her oldest son. "Who is it?"

"Can we not do this, right
now?" Theo says, reaching for his jacket. He
really
doesn't want to
deal with this, at the moment.

"Why?" Amy sounds
genuinely confused, even concerned. Eric says nothing, just watches from the
kitchen table.

"I just―" Theo
sighs, putting on his jacket. He turns to his mother. "I just don't want
to do this, right now. Okay?"

Amy presses her lips together,
frowning slightly, as though trying to decide whether or not this discussion is
worth having, right this moment. It makes her kind, soft face scrunch up in a rather
sweet way, and she absently pulls a blond strand of her long hair out of her
eyes. They're green, like Theo's.

Theo waits, and then, after seconds
of painful, drawn-out waiting, Theo relaxes his shoulders a bit, as his mother
finally replies.

"Alright," his mother
says, a bit warningly. She points at him with the spatula. "But we
are
talking
about this."

This seems to be good enough for
Eric, who returns his attention to his motor magazine, and Amy sighs, leaning
against the counter.

"Just," she says,
hesitating, "be good, okay?"

Theo fidgets uncomfortably,
glancing away.

"Yeah, mom," he mutters,
awkward about his mother saying something like that; so many things are implied
in that statement, after all.

"Okay." His mother nods, smiles
a little, and turns back to her cooking. And Theo glances at Riley, who looks
back, and shrugs slightly. Theo takes a breath and hopes his gratitude is
conveyed through his expression, before he picks up his bag and slings it over
his shoulder.

"Alright, well," he says
dumbly, "I'm out. See ya."

Riley gives him a slight wave, Eric
doesn't really look up, and Amy calls a
bye
over her shoulder, and
before long, Theo is out the door. He takes a deep breath of chilly air, as the
door closes behind him, and he swallows hard.

That was a close one. His parents
aren't exactly overprotective, and despite the fact that Theo hasn't really had
a boyfriend before, he
is
eighteen years old, and they know well enough
to leave him alone and not pester him about it.

But it's not the boyfriend-thing
that's the problem. The problem is that Max isn't exactly the kind of guy they
would want their son to have as a boyfriend.

It's not a long walk to Max's
place, but Theo knows that, already. He remembers the first time he walked
there, several weeks ago, nervous and just a little bit confused, as well as
really excited. He's surprised to find that he feels the exact same way, right
now, but in a completely different manner and for completely different reasons.

He has never spent the night at a
guy's place like that before. He has never spent the night with someone he
desperately wants to touch and kiss and hold, and is simultaneously terrified
of going near. It's a very odd feeling, one he honestly wonders if it will ever
go away. As it is, it's kind of nerve-wracking.

When he finally reaches Max's
house, Theo takes a deep breath, before ringing the doorbell. He's not sure why
he's nervous, this time. He has been here so many times before, now, that it
has become something of a routine, and it really shouldn't be such a big deal.

It doesn't take more than a few
seconds, before the door opens, and Max meets his eye, a smile instantly
lighting up his face. And the smile is contagious, making Theo smile back, a
soft, pleasant warmth spreading from his chest; it even makes him forget about
the cold, for a moment.

"Hi," Max says, stepping
aside so that Theo can come in, and Theo absently scuffs off some dirt from his
shoes, against the doormat.

The door closes behind him, and he
looks up, only to find Max standing there, looking at him, hands in his
pockets. There's a tiny smile on his face, and Theo suddenly feels the urge to
kiss it. So he does, relishing the fact that he can, in fact, kiss Max whenever
the hell he wants, as he leans in and presses his lips against that warm, soft
mouth, a somehow pleasant contrast against the metal piercing.

Max kisses him back, becomes plaint
against him, and lets out a slow, soft breath that sounds so content that it
makes Theo feel oddly happy inside.

"Finally," Max murmurs as
they pull apart, and Theo frowns.

"What?" he asks, and Max
smiles pointedly.

"You're finally here," he
says, but Theo keeps his frown.

"It's not like I haven't been
here, before," he says, a bit uncertainly, and Max smiles a bit wider.

"True," he says.
"But this time, you don't have to leave."

He cocks his eyebrows a bit.

"At least not for a
while."

Theo smiles, since Max definitely
has a point.

He hadn't expected it to be so
different, just knowing that he won't have to leave until tomorrow, but it is.
It makes Theo feel oddly relaxed, now that he's actually here, as though
there's no pressure, no deadline.

"We've got two options,"
Max says a little while later, standing in the kitchen. "Pizza, or
pizza."

Theo scrunches up his face in
thought, before sighing dramatically.

"I think I'll go with
pizza," he says, and Max nods, looking impressed.

"Good choice," he says,
and about twenty minutes later, after calling in the order, the pizza arrives
at the door. Max pays the delivery guy, shuts the door behind him, and turns to
Theo.

"At the table or in the living
room?" he says, and Theo opens his mouth to answer, but Max cuts him off.

"Or," he says, holding up
his finger, "we could sit
on
the table.
Sixteen Candles
style."

He cocks his eyebrows with a sly
smile, and Theo can't help but smile back.

"Let's not get too carried
away," he says lightly, as he takes the pizza box from his boyfriend.
"At the table is fine."

"Well, you're no fun,"
Max mutters, as he leans in and plants a kiss on Theo's cheek. But Theo doesn't
mind; he's still smiling stupidly when they sit down to eat.

Theo has never before, in his life,
enjoyed eating pizza this much. He has never been so completely content, as he
is right now, just sitting there, across from Max, at the kitchen table, an
open cardboard box of pizza between them. And the pizza isn't even that
special; there's a bit too much cheese, for Theo's taste, and the crust could
be a bit less crispy. But it doesn't matter. Because the pizza is the least
important thing at this table, right now.