Summer's Edge (3 page)

But there were a thousand places she could bump into him. Assembly. The dining hall. The main corridor past the staff room. Anywhere else in the grounds.

"Maybe you’d better just get it over with," Becky suggested. "Perhaps he’ll be cool about it. After all, you are eighteen."

"He could get sacked, Becky. And we’d probably all get suspended or even expelled if they found out we were going about the town with fake ID and getting off with county cricketers," Jules said.
 

It was a strange thing being eighteen. In theory they were adults and could do what they liked. In practice there were a whole host of rules about upholding the school’s reputation that they could still fall foul of.

"Your best bet," Jules continued, "is that he sees you, gets over his shock, and completely blanks you. Never refers to it again. It’s not like you need to have any dealings with him, is it?"

This was true. But Alice wasn’t sure she just wanted to forget about it.
 

They arrived at Jules’ house, split the cost of the taxi fare, and crept inside as quietly as possible. Jules’ parents - her father and stepmother - were pretty tolerant but they didn’t want to push their luck.
 

"You’re lucky having Kate you know," Alice said, referring to Jules’ stepsister. Kate was the same age as them but she went to a different school.

"How so?"

"She’s blazed the trail for you. She’s always had loads of freedom so now your dad has to treat you the same."

Jules’ father had remarried when she was fourteen, and though she didn’t mind her stepmother she hadn’t initially got on very well with Kate. They had resented one another badly at first and this had eventually progressed into a sort of blank tolerance. Only the last year or so had relations thawed. But both had entirely different interests, schools and friend groups so they didn’t really socialise together.

Both Jules and Alice had lost a parent: Alice’s father had been killed in a car accident before she was born, and Jules’ mother died when Jules was eight. It was partly what had brought them together as friends.
 

"I don’t think I’ll ever shower again," Alice said as they brushed their teeth. "I want to feel the smell of him all over me."

"You won’t say that when you wake up tomorrow reeking of stale booze and sweat."

Right now all Alice wanted to do was fall asleep and dream of Mr Walker. Once she was in bed she closed her eyes and relived the entire night, replaying the moment his lips touched hers over and over again. She didn’t want the memory to fade. It still gave her a jolt in her stomach just to think about it.
 

If only he was here now, running his hands all over her body. She was still a virgin but she would definitely go all the way with him.
 

Right now the little voice saying "he’s a teacher!" was well suppressed by the euphoria of it all.

* * *

The sun was horribly bright, Alice’s head was splitting and her mouth was desert dry. Jules had been right: and even she had woken up feeling fairly rough. Becky just pulled the sheet over her head and moaned.

Despite her intentions of the previous night Alice went straight for the bathroom. Jules’ parents had an amazingly powerful shower that drummed down on her, half punishment, half pleasure.

Closing her eyes in the steam she replayed everything that had happened. Much of it was hazy but she remembered the kissing, how she had felt, how much she wanted it again. And more.

Next week was going to be interesting, if he recognised her.

Back in Jules’ bedroom there was a discussion going on about whether they should go to the cricket that day. "We could take your dad’s pass and sit in the members’ enclosure," Becky was saying.

Alice guessed that Becky, who had no interest in cricket, wanted to watch Brett play.

"God no, way too keen," she advised her. "Not unless he specifically asked you to come. Did he?"

Becky admitted that nothing had been said.

"He’s going to call you, isn’t he? Leave it at that."

"Alice is right you know," Jules agreed. "You don’t want to look like a groupie."

"Does cricket have groupies?" Becky asked.

"Lawn bowls has groupies," Alice said. "Seriously. You don’t want to be that girl. Let him pursue you."

"I bet you’d go if Mr Walker was going to be there," Becky said.

Alice’s stomach flipped slightly at the prospect. There was a strong chance he would be there, given his friendship with Gloucestershire’s coach. But she thought about it for a moment. "No, I wouldn’t. Even if there wasn’t the whole complication of him being at school next week I still wouldn’t go. It’d just look sad."

"Besides which are they even playing at home?" Jules asked.

"In Taunton. But it’s not far."

"No way can you go then, it will look absolutely desperate. Like you’re stalking him."

Becky was obviously disappointed but she couldn’t win against both of them. Nor did she want to go by herself. "What if he goes out tonight and meets someone else?"

"If he does, he does," Jules said. "They are sportsmen. What goes on tour and so on."

"I think he really liked you," Alice said, to console Becky who was now looking really glum. It wasn’t exactly a lie, Alice couldn’t honestly remember through the haze of lust and drink what Brett’s intentions were or weren’t. But she didn’t want Becky making an idiot of herself or feeling miserable. "And they’re not on tour anyway, they won’t be staying overnight if it’s only Somerset."

They were all going to sit around brooding if they didn’t go out and do something. Alice suggested they go shopping. "You can look for something nice to wear for when he calls you," she said.

Monday came all too soon. From the moment she stepped through the school gates Alice was on edge, anticipating that she might encounter Mr Walker at any moment.

Assembly was an absolute ordeal. She kept her head down and tried to hide in the crowd as she entered the hall. She deliberately avoided Becky and Jules, fearing they would be more recognisable as a threesome. To her relief Becky and Jules weren’t sitting together either. Jules was late and had to take a seat nearer the front.

For all her worry Mr Walker didn’t even appear in assembly that day. It wasn’t completely mandatory for teachers and as a cricket coach he wasn’t even full time.

At lunch they came up with a plan. "Biting the bullet is best," Jules had decided. "We’ll go and watch the cricket after tennis and let him see you. Get this over with. Otherwise you’ll just be distracted by it for days."

It was a beautiful late April day, flawlessly sunny. Warm in the sun though cool in the shade. Their tennis skirts were also extremely short and much more alluring, so Alice thought, than normal school uniform. You were supposed to wear huge regulation gym knickers underneath. But as these were only sold in the school shade of bottle green which looked awful through white tennis wear, no one ever did unless they were playing a match.

They walked together over to the school cricket pitch and sat on the grassy slope near the pavilion.
 

"He’s going to freak you know," Jules said.

"Maybe he won’t recognise her in different clothes."

"He’ll recognise the three of us."

They watched the play for some time. Mr Walker was focused on his job and not on any spectators around the place. Alice was impressed by how athletic he looked as he walked about the pitch. He really was stunning with his tan and his tall, muscular figure. All the First Eleven boys looked wimpy next to him.

It was when he passed near to where they were sitting that he finally saw Alice, stopped and froze. Her stomach lurched. Then he turned away and went back to the practice.

"See, he’s decided to ignore you," Jules said. "All for the best."

Alice said nothing. She hadn’t really thought about how he might react, but she still felt crushed.

"Should we go?" Becky asked.

"No, that would look really weird, and besides Mike Jackson looks totally fit in cricket whites."
 

Mike captained the school cricket team and was one of the heartthrobs of Fairmount. But the problem with being in the Upper Sixth was that most girls preferred to date boys a year or so older. These were now long gone to university and the boys in their own year were in turn dating girls in lower years. Alice could also remember when Mike was several inches shorter than them and it detracted from his charms now.

"I wouldn’t have thought Mike Jackson was your type," Becky said.

"He’s not. Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy looking, though. You know his older brother’s playing for Worcestershire?"

"I don’t remember him having an older brother."

"A few years before our time. Joe Jackson." Jules said.

Alice remained silent throughout this. She was still feeling disappointed and uncertain. She tried to tell herself it was for the best. Really, she should be grateful that he had just decided to move past it.

But she still felt embarrassed. She picked at the grass next to her, pulling off a small flower, avoiding looking at the play.

Then a shadow fell over them. She looked up.
 

It was Mr Walker.

"I want a word with you. In the pavilion, now," he ordered her. His eyes pierced into hers and he looked furious.

Numb, she obeyed, walking ahead of him.

Inside it was empty and he closed the door behind them and turned to her.

"What the fuck do you think you’re playing at?"

He was absolutely incensed. He stood there, suddenly the adult, the authority, not just some guy she had kissed in a pub.
 

Someone she had compromised. Alice couldn’t think of anything to say.
 

She stood there in front of him. His scent of faint cologne and sun-warmed skin was disturbingly familiar to her, mingling with the dusty wood and sports equipment smell of the pavilion.

"Did you know who I was?" he asked.

"Yes." There didn’t seem to be any point in lying.

He glared at her and she looked back at him. His eyes pierced into her, their light grey-blue contrasting with his tanned complexion. He was one of the most devastatingly attractive men she had ever seen. All the more so now as his anger turned his face into carved steel.

As terrified and awkward as Alice felt, she also felt slightly defiant. After all she hadn’t done anything wrong or illegal.

Then suddenly he grasped her by the shoulders and brought his mouth down on hers, hard. Surprised, she initially squirmed to escape his grasp then yielded as her forced his tongue into her mouth. His lips were bruising hers, he was almost biting her yet she wanted more.
 

Her hands, which had pushed against his chest to try and get away, went round his neck and she arched against him.

He was trying to hurt her, devour her. Punish her. All at once. But he wanted her too. She could taste his need, raw and urgent. Feel the hotness of his breath as he nearly suffocated her with his kiss.

His mouth left hers and moved to her neck, half embracing, half biting it. She tasted blood on her lip where he had crushed it with his own. He was gripping her hard and she clung to him. She didn’t even care that he was hurting her.

He could have ripped all her clothes off right there and forced himself upon her. She had never wanted anyone so much.

Then just as suddenly he thrust her away from him. He swore under his breath as he tried to recover himself.

"Is that what you wanted?"

"No… yes… I mean…" Alice had no idea what to say. She was shaken and half in misery, half in ecstasy.

His face was like granite, its angles unyielding.

"Get out and don’t come back here again. Stay out of my way," he said.

Too stunned to respond Alice went out. She thought she heard him mutter something about "jailbait" as she left.

Outside, still sitting on the grass, Jules and Becky were agog to know what had gone on.

"What the hell happened in there?" Jules saw Alice’s bleeding lip. "Oh god, did he hit you?"
 

"No, of course not." Alice involuntarily put a hand on her neck, which drew Jules’ attention to it. She grabbed Alice’s hand away.

"You have a love bite on your neck? What the hell?"

"Let’s just get out of here," Alice said. She wanted to get away. She couldn’t face his anger or contempt any longer.

"Okay, but you’d better tell us exactly what’s going on."

"Nothing’s going on," Alice said as they got up and walked back to the main school. She couldn’t even bring herself to look behind her and see where he was.

"He summons you into the pavilion and you come out moments later with a bleeding lip and an enormous love bite and that’s nothing?" Jules was incredulous.

"How are you going to cover that?" Becky asked. "You can hardly wear a scarf in May. And your collar won’t go anywhere near it."

"I don’t know, a Band-Aid." It was the last thing on Alice’s mind.

"You can’t wear a Band-Aid on your neck, everyone will know exactly what it’s concealing."

"Forget about concealing the bloody love bite, Becky. How it happened is more to the point," Jules said.

"He was angry, and then he kissed me, and then he was angry again."

"Jesus!"

"Are you ok, Alice?" Becky asked.

"Yeah, I’m fine. Well no I’m not fine, I don’t really know what I am, but I’m ok," Alice said. She was absolutely confused. How she felt about him, how he felt about her, what any of this meant, what she was going to do. It was like he hated her but wanted her at the same time.

Again and again she re-ran it in her mind, every second, every sensation. She wanted his hunger and even the pain again, his anger. She imagined it dissolving into something more sensuous as their embrace continued. He couldn’t maintain that level of rage for long. Or could he?

* * *

Becky was thrilled when Brett rang her on Monday night. She'd been suffering silently as well, hoping and hoping that he'd call her and that he hadn't lost her number.