Authors: Noël Cades
This surprised Alice. Out of the three of them Becky had been the one most leaning towards waiting for marriage and doing the whole Cinderella thing.
"I think there’s a danger of waiting too long," Becky said. "Rach told me about this girl on her nursing course who broke up with so many boyfriends because she wanted to wait, and then she got married and it was awful. It never got better. Turned out the only reason he’d been happy to wait was because he wasn’t really into it." Rachel was Becky’s elder sister.
"It could be even worse. You might find out they were into something weird," Alice said. She remembered her mother once letting slip about a divorced friend whose latest partner wanted her to do something unspeakable on a glass coffee table while he lay underneath and watched.
"But the main reason is I think you can end up investing too much into it," Becky said. "I always thought I wanted to wait, and then I met Brett and it didn’t seem like so big of a deal any more. It was just something I hadn’t done yet, not this massive thing that was sitting in the way."
Alice agreed. She wished she had got it out of the way with the boy she had dated for a few months the previous year.
"Would you do it with Mr Walker if he wanted to?" Becky asked.
God yes. "I think so, probably."
"I’d be scared about doing it with someone like him. I mean he must be so experienced, mustn’t he? He must have slept with so many other women," Becky said.
Miserably, Alice imagined a string of glamorous and sophisticated women knowledgeable in the most exotic sexual arts lining up outside his bedroom. How could she possibly compete?
They put their noses back to the grindstone for a while but Alice’s mind kept wandering.
As she was trying to force herself to concentrate on single celled organisms, Becky’s mother came back from her shift at the hospital. She greeted them and asked how the revision was going.
"It’s ok," Becky said. "We’ll never be completely ready. How are you?"
"Rather tired but I promised your Aunty Brenda I’d go bowling with her." Aunty Brenda wasn’t Becky’s real aunt, just a family friend.
"Before you go I nearly forgot, can we lend Jules that old tent in the garage? The one Andrew used for school trips. I’m sure he doesn’t need it at the moment," Becky said.
"Of course you can. Is she planning a camping holiday?"
"Something like that." Jules wanted it to go to a festival with Leafy. She hadn’t wanted to turn up with a brand new tent. She was finding it quite an effort to make it appear that she wasn’t making an effort.
Becky’s mother put the kettle on and took out some biscuits and put them on a plate. At Alice’s or Jules’ house they would just eat straight from the packet. Becky’s family did everything in a more proper fashion.
Alice thought about all Mr Walker’s doubtless skinny model-like exes and wavered over the biscuits. "You need your energy," Becky’s mother encouraged her. "All these late nights revising. Keep your strength up." She also put out some fruit for them, grapes and some cut up apple. Alice took a slice.
"It’s got serious pretty quickly, Jules and Leafy," Alice said when Becky’s mother had gone.
"I know she really likes him but I don’t know about his side. He always seems drunk or stoned whenever I’ve seen him. I sort of wonder if he’s as much into her. Don’t say anything to her though."
Alice felt bad for hoping that Becky was right. She wanted the old Jules back. She didn’t want to travel round Asia with Jules washing her hair with vinegar and being permanently stoned. That was of course if she even came.
"I also forgot to ask you about the clean-up," Becky said. "Was Maddy a total bitch? Did she even show up?"
"She was there. But that wasn’t the biggest surprise." Alice told Becky about Miss Symons leaving and handing over to Mr Walker.
"No! Did he ignore you again?"
"Actually the opposite. We had the first decent conversation in ages. It was nice."
Becky looked at Alice. "And?"
"And we kind of ended up in the pavilion again. Only for a moment though," she said, seeing Becky’s mouth fall open.
"Did he kiss you?"
"Yes. Or I kissed him. I started it really." What do you want from me, Alice? he had asked her. And he had known full well. Because he wanted the same. If only they had had more time, if only he had fewer scruples.
Becky was still agape. "Jules was right. I honestly thought that he wouldn’t go there again but I didn’t want to upset you. I really thought he was going to hold off. But Jules said he’d cave eventually."
"I didn’t know either way. I’m glad though. Even though it was back to square one again right afterwards with the usual I’m-too-old stuff," Alice said.
"Maybe that’s why Jules was so against this at the start. Because she could see how into you he was, that it wasn’t just bit of a drunken snog. I mean particularly with what’s happened since. He’s really hooked on you. Otherwise he would have just cut you dead the first time and that would be that."
Alice had no idea how Jules would have known what Mr Walker’s intentions were after one evening in the Dog & Duck as she hadn’t even known herself.
"I wonder what would happen if school found out. Do you think they really would expel you?" Becky asked.
Alice imagined being hauled before Mrs Paddington and asked to explain her "improper relations" with a member of staff. Or would they consider she had been taken advantage of, and be all sympathy?
"They’d still have to let me sit my exams. When that guy a couple of years above got kicked out for drugs just before A-levels they let him back." The boy had had to sit his exams in a separate room with another teacher invigilating. He also hadn’t been allowed to wear school uniform.
"I’m not sure why they regard it as a privilege to wear school uniform. I’d much rather sit my exams in jeans," Becky said. "Not if everyone was staring though."
It would be weird never having to wear uniform ever again. School uniform anyway. Both of them would have a kind of uniform given the careers they had chosen. Alice thought of Jo in her white veterinary coat.
"I heard some of the boys are going to burn their blazers on the pitch on the last day."
"We should join them and throw our gym knickers on," Alice said.
Images of a bonfire and the symbolic destruction of Fairmount Class of 92 flared before her eyes.
"Imagine if someone actually held a rave on school grounds. If a load of travellers and ravers showed up and took over the cricket pitch."
"All the vans in a ring around the wicket. Spiral Tribe in the pavilion."
"Everyone getting high and waving glowsticks at the Padlock."
"Imagine."
It was Wednesday, the eve of their first Biology exam, followed by Chemistry on Friday. Alice had already taken the afternoon off work so she could do any last minute revision she needed to. She and Becky had been revising non stop since the weekend. Teachers always warned against last minute cramming but it always worked for Alice. Today, though, she was crammed to the hilt.
"Why don’t you come to the cricket?" Becky asked her. "They’re playing against Worcestershire in Gloucester."
Sitting watching county cricket wasn’t Alice’s idea of high excitement but it was a beautiful day and it would be relaxing. Plus she could take some notes with her.
"Jules is going to drive us. Leafy and the crew have headed down Bristol way for some festival so she’s going to come and bring her dad’s pass. Brett said he could probably get us into the members’ enclosure though," Becky said to further encourage her.
"I’ll come. I’ll bring some revision with me if that won’t look too antisocial."
"Great. We’re skipping lunch so we can get there earlier." It hardly mattered any more, so what if they got into trouble? What was the worst that could happen to them, the day before their final exams started?
It was something Alice was finding unexpected about that last school term. She had expected it to be like any other term: full on classes and schoolwork right up until the exams started, then the exams, then some kind of ending.
But it wasn’t turning out that way at all. The whole term had been different from the start, as though even the teachers were disconnecting from them. It was just revision and a sense of being on your own at last.
The exams were all at different times, and some people’s last exam took place weeks before others finished. And you were free to go once they were all over. There wouldn’t even be a final day when they would all walk out together, throw all their notes in the bin, shred their school ties. Instead they would leave in batches, the summer holiday starting with a trickle rather than a bang.
Alice remembered the year above her, how faces had gradually drifted away. You didn’t think about it until afterwards, but that was that. Now they were the ones who wouldn’t return. There wouldn’t be a next term. There wouldn’t be any more school, ever again.
Jules had been to the cricket ground before so knew the way, helping them arrive in good time. It was the second day and Gloucestershire were batting. Alice recognised several of the team. She could just about follow the scoring but even the players didn’t seem very engaged with the game.
It was pleasant sitting there nonetheless. Very English, Alice thought. The green of the field and the white of the players’ clothing and the gentle pace of the game. The knock of leather on willow as Jules’ father would say.
The Worcestershire deep fielders seemed to spend most of their time giving the eye to them and any other girls in range rather than watching the ball. If the three of them had been single it might have been fun. Alice supposed she was single but her interest lay firmly elsewhere.
Mr Walker wasn’t here of course, as there were school matches on.
A tall and good looking dark haired player had been giving Alice particular notice, causing Becky and Jules to keep nudging her.
"Cut it out, we’re not in the fourth form," she said to them. A month ago she would have been thrilled with his attentions, admittedly.
She looked after their seats when they went off to get some drinks. Alice saw Chris by the pavilion, and he recognised her and came over for a few minutes.
"Enjoying the action?"
Alice wasn’t quite sure if he was joking. The play looked soporific to her.
"Yes, it’s nice weather for it." She felt self-consciously English as she said this. The Australians had joked about their national obsession with the weather.
"Stewie not with you?"
She started. "No, he’s back at school."
"Schoolboy cricket. Of course." Chris grinned, watching the play. "Not quite what he’s used to. You both coming out this weekend?"
Alice was again surprised by the question. "I don’t know, I mean I suppose so if he’s out with you and Brett and everyone and we all meet up somewhere."
Chris gave her a glance, taking his eyes off the field for a moment. "Hasn’t he asked you out yet?"
Her stomach flipped. Was he supposed to? "Not really. More the opposite."
Chris raised his eyebrows then looked back at the game. "It’s hard for him you know. He really likes you but he’s cautious." Alice was practically dissolving inside at this.
"He’s been deliberately keeping his distance," she said. Since last Friday he had avoided any contact with her and she had felt devastated all over again. But now with what Chris was saying the world had literally flipped around for her once more. Chris was talking to her as though he thought she and Mr Walker were a couple. She needed to set him straight.
"It’s not easy for him," Chris was saying. "The divorce was hard on him, he’s been wary ever since. And you’re a lot younger than him. The boys having a go hasn’t helped."
She loved that despite all this, Chris still seemed to assume that it could all happen. "What was she like, his ex?"
"Bree? A sort, you know. Better off with the footballer she ditched him for. More glitz and getting her photo in the papers."
"How long has it been?" She felt guilty for asking, like she was snooping on him. After all he’d never even told her he was divorced. She knew practically nothing of his past.
"Two, three years now. Don’t worry, he’s long over it." He spoke to her like an equal which reminded her of Richard.
She wanted to ask what Mr Walker had actually said to Chris about her but thought it would make her sound girlish and needy.
"I’d better get back. Have him bring you up on the weekend, we’re playing Somerset."
The week after was clear of exams so the weekend was open. She’d have to talk to Becky and figure something out. Despite what Chris seemed to think she wasn’t in a position to discuss weekend plans with Mr Walker. The fact that she still thought of him as Mr Walker pretty much said it all, though she avoided calling him by any particular name to Chris.
Becky and Jules arrived back. "Chris have anything to say?" Jules asked.
"It was kind of awkward. He spoke about me and Mr Walker like he thought we were a couple."
"You’re both crazy about each other. It’s pretty obvious," Jules said. Once again Alice felt herself surge inside.
"But nothing’s happening. He keeps pushing me away," Alice said.
"Except for the constant trysts in the pavilion. And he came to Selsley don’t forget. It was obvious why he came."
It appeared to be obvious to everyone except Alice. "He didn’t lay a finger on me though. Absolutely nothing happened that night."
"You were sky high. I expect he didn’t want to take advantage."
Alice felt exasperated. "So what I am supposed to do?"
"Just wait until he’s a bit drunk again," Becky suggested. "There’s a party in Gloucester on Saturday night. I’m sure Chris will drag him along."
As the game continued the good-looking fielder continued to give her the eye whenever he was positioned near them. "You going to be in the bar afterwards?" he asked when the ball was the other side of the pitch.