Such Is Life (5 page)

“The Jackdaw of Rheims is a case in point,” remarked Willoughby aside to me.

“Well,” said Price emphatically, and qualifying every word that would bear qualification, “so fur as workin' on Sundays goes, I'm well sure I allus worked on Sundays, an' I'm well sure I allus will; an' I'm well sure 'ere ain't no cuss on me. Why, I dunno what the (complicated expletive) a cuss is! I'll get a blanket fer to lay on,” he added; “this ground's sorter damp.” And he went across to his wagon.

“He's got a curse on him as big as Mount Macedon, and he doesn't know it,” muttered Thompson.

“Bearing out the prophecy,” said I aside to Willoughby, “that the sinner, being a hundred years old, shall be accursed.”

“You ought to show him a bit more respect, Mosey,” remarked Cooper gravely.

“Well, to tell you the truth,” replied Mosey frankly, “I got no patience with the ole bunyip. Can't suffer fools, no road.”

“Well, I don't want to be shovin' in my jor, but I'd take him to be more rogue than fool,” suggested Bum.

“Time he was thinkin' about repentin', anyhow,” observed Dixon.

“Now, really Thompson—do you believe in these special malisons?” asked Willoughby, as Price rejoined the company. “Are you so superstitious? I shouldn't have thought it.”

“I've good reason to believe in them,” replied Thompson. “You asked me this morning why I didn't have two teams. Now I'll tell you the reason. It's because I'm not allowed to keep two teams. I've got a curse on me. Many a long year ago, when I finished my second season, I found myself at Moama, with a hundred and ten notes to the good, and the prospect of going straight ahead, like the cube root—or the square of the hypotenuse, is it? I forget the exact term, but no matter. Well, the curse came on me in this way: Charley Webber, the young fellow I was travelling with, got a letter from some relations in New Zealand, advising him to settle there; so he offered me his plant for two-thirds of its value—fifty notes down and fifty more when he would send for it. Sheer good-nature of him, for he knew he could have the lot if he liked. But there's not many fellows of Charley's stamp. So I paid him the fifty notes and we parted. He was to send me his address as soon as he reached New Zealand; but he never got there. The vessel was wrecked on some place they call the North Spit; and Charley was one of the missing. Never heard of him from that day to this.”

“Good (ensanguined) shot!” remarked Mosey. “I wish that same specie of a curse would come on me.”

“My (ensanguined) colonial!” assented Dixon and Bum, with one accord.

“Well, nobody knows anything about the geography of New Zealand,” continued Thompson, “and I purposely forgot the address of Charley's people. Any honest man would have hunted them up, but that wasn't my style; I wasn't a wheat-sample; I was a tare. Compromised with my conscience. Thought there was no time to lose in making an independence—making haste to be rich, and considering not that's there's many a slip between the cup and the lip, as Solomon puts it. I said to myself, ‘That's all right; I'll pay it some time.' Now see the consequence—

“Just two years after I bid the poor fellow good-bye—two years to the very day, and not very lucky years, neither—I found myself in the middle of the Death Track, with flour for Wilcannia; one wagon left behind, and the bullocks dropping off like fish out of
water; bullocks worth ten notes going as if they weren't worth half-a-crown. It was like the retreat from Moscow. Finally, I lost fourteen on the trip—exactly the number I had got dishonestly. As for the second wagon, I gave it to Baxter for fetching the load the last fifty mile. I thought this might clear away the curse, so I didn't fret over it. I felt as if Charley had got satisfaction. But I wasn't going to get off so cheap. Two years afterward—you remember, Dixon?—I bought that thin team and the Melbourne wagon from Pribble, the contractor. Dixon, here, was driving for Pribble at that very time, and he can tell you how Dick the Devil cleaned me out of my fine old picked team and the new wagon, leaving me to begin afresh with the remains of Pribble's skeletons and my own old wagon. Then a year or two afterward, I went in debt to buy that plant of Mulligan's—him that was killed off the colt at Mossgiel—and that same winter the pleuro broke out in my lot, and they went like rotten sheep till fourteen were gone; and then, of course, the plague was stopped. Not having any use for Mulligan's wagon, I swapped her for a new thirty-by-twenty-four wool-rag, and a Wagga pot, good for eight or ten mile on a still night; and, within a month, Ramsay's punt went down with my wagon; she's in the bottom of the Murrumbidgee now, with eight ton of bricks to steady her, and the tarpaulin and bell to keep her company. She'll be fetching the most critical planks out of a steamer some of these times, and I'll get seven years for leaving her there. Afterward, when I was hauling logs for pontooning, on the Goulburn, I kept buying up steers and breaking them in, till I had two twelves; and one day I left sixteen of them standing in yoke while I went looking round for a good log; and suddenly I heard a crash that rattled back and forward across the river for a quarter of an hour. I had a presentiment that Providence was on the job again, and I wasn't disappointed. One of the fallers had left a tree nearly through when he went to dinner; and a gust of wind sent it over, and it carried a couple of other trees before it, right on the spot where my team was folded up in the shade. Eight of them went that trip, between killed and crippled, leaving me with sixteen. My next piece of luck was to lose that new Yankee wagon in the Eight-mile Mallee, on Birrawong. Then I could see plain enough that Providence had taken up Charley's case, and was prepared to block me of keeping two teams; so I determined to have one good one. Now, I've always stood pretty well with the agents and squatters, and I know my way round Riverina, so I can turn over as much money as any single-team man on the track, bar
Warrigal Alf (I beg your pardon, Cooper; I forgot)—but what's the use of money to me? Only vanity and vexation of spirit, as Shakespear says. I get up to a certain point, and then I'm knocked stiff. Mind, I've only given you a small, insignificant sample of the misfortunes I've had since I cheated that dead man; but if they don't prove there's a curse on me, then there's no such thing as proof in this world.”

Price cleared his throat. “Them misforcunes was invidiously owin' to yer own (adj.) misjudgment,” he said dogmatically.

“Serve you right for not havin' better luck,” added Dixon.

“Learn you sense, anyhow,” remarked Mosey.

“Misforcunes does some people good,” hazarded Bum.

“Yes,” replied Thompson gently. “I've had my turn. I hope I take it like a man. Your turns will come sooner or later, as sure as you've got heads on your bodies—perhaps next year; perhaps next week; perhaps to-morrow. Let's see how you'll take it. Mind, there's a curse on every one of us. And look here—we had no business to travel to-day; there was a bite of feed in the Patagonia Swamp, if it came to the worst. Now we're in for it. I've got a presentiment that something'll happen before to-morrow night. Just mark my words.”

A constrained silence fell on the grown-up children, till Willoughby politely sought to restore ease by contributing his quota to the evening's feast of reason—

“There occurs to my mind a capital thing,” he said; “a capital thing, indeed, though apropos of nothing in particular. A student, returning from a stroll, encountered a countryman, carrying a hare in his hand. ‘Friend,' said the student quietly, ‘is that thine own hare or a wig?' The joke, of course, lies in the play on the word ‘hare'.”

Willoughby's courteous effort was worse than wasted, for the general depression deepened.

“You're right, Thompson,” said Cooper, at length. “Mostly everybody's got a curse on them. I got a curse on me. I got it through swearin' and Sabbath-breakin'. I've tried to knock off swearin' fifty dozen times, but I might as well try to fly. Last time I tried to knock it off was when I left Nyngan for Kenilworth, four months ago; but there happened to be a two-hundredweight bag o' rice in the bottom o' the load; an' something tore her, an' she started leakin' through the cracks in the floor o' the wagon; an' I couldn't git at her no road, for there was seven ton on top of her; an' the blasted stuff it kep' dribble-dribble till you could 'a' tracked
me at a gallop for over a hundred mile; an' me swearin' at it till I was black in the face; an' it always stopped dribblin' at night, like as if it was to aggravate a man. If it hadn't been for that rice, I'd 'a' kep' from swearin' that trip; an' then, comin' down from Kenilworth with Thompson, I'd 'a' kep' from it easy; for Thompson he never swears. I give him credit for that much.”

“I don't claim any credit,” remarked Thompson, with the unconscious spiritual swagger which so often antecedes, and possibly generates, lapse. “I never could see that swearing did any good; so I just say to myself, ‘You'd like to come out, would you?—well, then, once for all, you won't.'”

“You're a happy man, curse and all,” replied the giant gloomily. “For my own part, I was brought up careful, but I've turned out a (adj.) failure. Nobody would think, seeing me so brisk an' cheerful, that I got more worry nor anybody on'y myself could stand. I got more trouble nor all you fellers put together.” He paused, evidently battling feebly with that impulse which bids us ease the loaded breast, even when discovery's pain. His voice was even lower and sadder as he resumed:

“My father he was well off, with a comfortable place of his own on the Hawkesbury; an' there was on'y me an' my sister Molly; for my mother died of a cold she caught when I was about twelve or fourteen, and Molly she was hardly so old. If you was to travel the country, you wouldn't meet another man like my ole dad. He was what you might call”…

“My farther he was a sojer,” interposed Dixon. “He could whack any man of his weight in the 40th. Las' word he says to me: ‘Bob,' says he; ‘be a man—an' keep Injun ink off o' yer arms, for you never know,' says he, ‘what you might do.'”

“Not many men like my ole dad,” pursued Cooper. “Fetch up your youngsters in the natur' an' admiration o' the Lord, an' don't be frightened to dress the knots off o' them. That was his idear, an' he went through with it straight. ‘William,' says he to me; ‘if I catch a oath out o' your mouth, I'll welt the (adj.) hide off o' you;' an' many's the time he done it. ‘Always show respect to an ole man or an ole woman,' says he; ‘an' never kick up a row with nobody; an' when you see a row startin', you strike in an' squash it, for blessed be the peacemakers; an' never you git drunk, nor yet laugh at a drunk man; an' never take your Maker's name in vain, or by (sheol) He'll make it hot for you.' That was my father's style with me. Same with my sister. He used to lay a bit of a buggy-trace on the table, after supper: There, Molly,' says he;
‘that's for girls as goes gallivantin' about after night;' an' many's the dose of it Molly got for flyin' round in the moonlight. Consequently, as you might say, she growed up to be the best girl, an' the cleverest, in the district. The other girls was weeds aside of her; she stood inches higher nor any o' them, an' she was a picter' to look at. Strong as whalebone, she was, an' not a lazy bone in her body. She was different from me in regard o' learnin', for she always liked to have her nose in a book, an' she went a lot to school. An' as for singin' or playin' anything in the shape o' music—why, there was nobody about could hold a candle to her. She was fair mad on it; an' my ole dad he sent her to Sydney for over a year o' purpose to fetch her out. Peanner, or flute, or fiddle, or the curliest instrument out of a brass band, it was all one to her; it come sort o' natural to her to fetch music out of anything. Pore Molly!” Cooper paused awhile before he resumed—

“She never took up with none o' the fellers. I knowed fellers try to kiss her; but her style was to stiffen them with a clip under the ear, an' they sort o' took the hint, an' never come back. But by-'n'-by a man from the Queensland border, he bought the place next ours but one; an' our two fam'lies got acquainted. Wonderful clever ole feller he was, in regard o' findin' out new gases, an' smells, an' cures for snake-bites, an' stuff that would go off like a cannon if you looked at it. This cove had got one son an' two daughters, an' his missis was sickly. Well, the son he was a young chap, about my own age at the time”—

“An' how old was you then?” demanded Mosey.

“About two-an'-twenty. He seemed to be a fine, off-handed, straightforrid, well-edicated young feller; an' me an' him we soon got great cronies; an' by-'n'-by I seen he was collared on Molly, an' she was collared on him. Well, thank God! he's got a curse on him that he won't get rid of in a hurry. Thank God for that much!”

“Ruined her?” queried Mosey briskly.

Cooper passed the question with unconscious dignity, and resumed. “Things went on this way for a couple o' year; an' this feller's people was agreeable; an', to make a long story short, the time was fixed for two months on ahead.”

“Your father was agreeable, of course?” said Thompson.

“He was dead,” replied Cooper reverently. “Gone to eternity, I hope. He deserved to go there if ever any livin' man did. He died about a year after these people come to settle near our place.”

“What was the young feller's name?” queried Mosey.

“Never you mind. Well, to make a long story short, one day pore Molly wanted to go somewhere, an' she jumped on-to a horse I'd just left in the yard, an' she shoved her foot in the stirrup-leather; an' the horse he was a reg'lar devil; an' he played up with her in the yard; an' her heel went through the loop o' the leather, an' she come off an' hung by her ankle; an' the horse he was shod all round, an' he kicked her in the face”—Cooper paused.