Strapped: A Second Chance Mafia Romance (5 page)

2
6th November 2010

S
crew that
!

I am not going to listen to my father’s stupidity when it comes to Marco – he doesn’t even know him, for crying out loud! I do. Okay, so maybe he’s made some stupid decision that has led him to be locked up, or maybe it was a case of mistaken identity, but whatever it was, I know my boyfriend, and I know for a fact that he’s a good guy deep down. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

I wait until I know that my parents are both busy and distracted before sneaking out of the house to see him. I haven’t expressly been told that I can’t go out, but I know if I do they will be suspicious and it’ll cause more hassle than it’s worth.

No, this is the best way for everyone involved.

As I stalk determinedly down the street, pulling my coat tighter around me, I consider calling Marissa, just for her opinion on the subject, before sadly realizing that I can’t. It’s so sad that we used to tell each other everything, and although I still consider her to be my best friend, there’s no denying that her weird feelings about Marco have driven a wedge between us. She might be sort of okay with him at the moment, but me mentioning any kind of criminal activity will send her right back in the opposite direction. She will instantly think the worst, and that’s an opinion that I really don’t need to hear right now.

I find my feet slowing down as I near the street where Marco lives. It’s just hitting me now that this is the very first time I’ve walked down here by myself, and it’s the first time that I’ve ever been truly terrified.

I wrap my arms around me, and keep my eyes fixed solely on the ground as I step in time to my pounding heart. I know better than to judge people based purely on where they live, but I’m also perfectly aware of the stories that make it on to the news from streets such as this one.

Rape.

Murder.

Muggings.

Crimes swirl around and around in my mind as I try to move my body quicker. I hear shouting coming from one side of the road, and although it doesn’t seem to be aimed at me, I feel my face flush regardless. I don't look up though, I can’t.

Frustrated tears prick my eyes as I step so quickly that I’m almost running, and just as I fear that the panic might consume me entirely, I find myself outside of Marco’s home.

I knock lightly on the door, needing him to take a few moments to answer while I calm myself down. I suck in a few deep breaths of air, hoping that the color is draining from my cheeks, so by the time the door swings open, I’ve managed to plaster a fake smile on my lips.

But it isn’t Marco, it’s his grandmother.

Luckily, although she’s a fierce woman – which I suppose she needs to be to keep her family in line – she seems to have taken a liking to me, so her presence instantly makes me relax. That is until a sense of discomfort spreads over her, and she half-shuts the door on me so I can’t come inside.

“Is... is Marco there?” I ask anxiously. “Only, he isn’t answering his phone and I really need to talk to him.”

“Yes,” she glances behind her quickly, which suggests to me that the next words that come out of her mouth are going to be a lie. “He isn’t well. He’s sleeping. In bed. That’s why he isn’t answering the phone.”

“Can I see him?” I ask sadly, still wanting to be by his side.

“No, no,” she insists quickly. “He doesn’t want any visitors... I will tell him that you’ve been here though.”

And then she shuts the door on my face in the rudest gesture that I’ve ever known her to do. I remain there for a few moments, frozen like an idiot, wondering what the hell I can do, before spinning on my heels and starting the long and humiliating trudge back home...

Why doesn’t Marco want to talk to me?

What have I done?

Or more... what has he done?

* * *

1
^st
October 2014

I
t’s almost
midnight when I hear a hard knocking at my door. It makes me jump up from the couch where I was just drifting off to sleep with some rom-com playing in the background.

At first my heart pounds nervously, expecting the worst, but as I rapidly swing the door open to see a very sexy-looking Marco leaning up against my front door, I can’t help but giggle in a weird fission of nerves and excitement. I suppose I’m going to have to get used to shocks like this if I’m going to continue spending time with this man. The surprises are only going to be more intense than they once were because we’re adults now, with much more freedom to do as we please.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, instantly noticing the seductive lilt to my voice.

“What do you think?” He chuckles, moving his body closer to mine. Just having him that near to me is enough to send me wild with desire – his musky, manly scent, combined with that muscular body which seems as if it’s been designed to make me feel petite is causing butterflies to flap wildly within me. “I’m here to see you... now are you going to let me in or what?”

As I move to let him past, and he brushes against me while keeping his eyes on mine the entire time, I can see a fierce expression of passion there, which causes everything within me to stand even more on edge. I already know where this random visit is going to lead, and I actually cannot wait for that.

“So... can I get you anything to...” I start, wanting to be a good host, but he quickly silences me by pressing his body hard up against mine, pushing me up against the wall, and claiming me with his mouth.

I don't even try to resist, I simply allow him to take me along for the crazy ride. His lips against mine flicker a deep passion within me, and it isn’t long until I’m leaning even further back, wanting him to take me all the way.

This man is mine, and I am his, and I want him to consume me.

But as he takes a step back, grinning seductively at me, and my eyes flicker down his body I notice something that troubles me greatly.

“What... what’s that?” I can’t help but ask as my skin turns ashen. When he doesn’t instantly get what I’m talking about, I point down towards his shoes where I can see a very obvious splatter of blood. “Where did that come from?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he brushes me off, starting to tug his t-shirt over his head. I’m sure that he’s trying to distract me with his abs, which under any normal circumstance he definitely would have done, but this is different. It’s more serious, and I absolutely
need
to have answers before I can even think about taking things to any other level.

He moves back towards me with his arms outstretched, but I hold my hands up to stop him. My heart might be fluttering for him, and that pulsing need might still be there, but there’s something else too. Something more powerful.

Fear.

“What’s the matter, babe?” He laughs sort of mirthlessly. “I’m offering you me on a plate here – you aren’t turning me down, are you?”

But I’m not in the mood for jokes. “What. Is. That?” I ask, as if I’m speaking to a child. I won’t be ignored, and I won’t allow things to be brushed over. I’m a grown ass woman who needs to be certain. I don’t want to do anything that I regret, and I certainly don’t want to get myself entangled in something that I don’t fully understand. No way, I’m not a pushover and Marco needs to understand that.

“You shouldn’t ask so many questions,” he replies, trying to kiss my neck, but I keep my body frozen stiff like I’m a statue, refusing to cave to him. He can’t distract me this time – maybe he did in the past when we were young, but I’ve done a lot of growing up since then.

“I’m not asking,” I say, trying to sound serious and maybe a little be threatening. “I need to know. You have to tell me right now... either that or you can leave.”

I desperately don't want him to leave, but at the same time I’m not quite sure that I want him to stay either.

“You don't want to know,” he insists, but I refuse to be put off that easily.

“Tell me,” I say firmly, moving until I’m sitting on the couch with my arms folded across my chest. I assume that my expression is steely, reflecting the emotions that I’m feeling inside, but then I accidently catch a glimpse of myself in the TV and I realize that I just look pale and very afraid.

“You really don't want to know,” he sighs, pulling his top back on. He’s clearly accepted that tonight isn’t going anywhere, and from the thunderous expression on his face, he isn’t happy about that. Not that I care – I need my answers and that’s much more important.

He sits down on the chair opposite and clasps his hands together while staring at me, as if he’s trying to break me down through eye contact alone.

“Well?” I insist regardless. “Go on.”

“I do things that you wouldn’t approve of,” he replies simply, then stops – as if this should be enough for me. “I think that’s all you need to know.”

All kinds of possibilities flood my mind, and without anything solid to go on, they keep getting worse and worse.

“Tell me,” I rasp. “Just... tell me.”

“I can’t,” he shakes his head determinedly. “I won’t.”

My heart thumps noisily and a large ball of emotion gets stuck in my throat. My eyes water, but I won’t let any tears fall. Not now, not in front of Marco. If he doesn’t care about me enough to be honest with me, then he certainly doesn’t deserve my tears.

Of course, he’s probably going to get them, but I won’t let him see. I’ll wait until he’s gone for that.

“If you aren’t going to say anything, if you can’t be honest with me,” I keep my tone as calm and considered as humanly possible. “Then I want you to get out right now.”

We sit there for a few moments, in a weird and intense standoff, before he makes his move by standing upright and walking towards the door. As his hand reaches the handle, I almost reach out for him, to pull him back to me, but then he shoots me one cold look – one that shows me the depth of what he’s truly capable of – and the words of protest die on my lips.

He opens the door slowly and dramatically, before stepping through. As it swings behind him, and clatters with a bang, proving to me that he’s gone forever, I race over there and slam the main lock on to put myself back in control. There’s no turning back now – he can’t get back in and I won’t go outside.

I slide my back down the door, tears streaming down my face, wondering what the hell he can mean by
things I wouldn’t approve of.
That statement, combined with the blood splatter on his shoes demonstrates very clearly to me that this isn’t the Marco Fabbri that I fell in love with. He’s become something else, something much worse. He’s become a monster.

3
0th November 2010

“
Y
ou did really well
!” Johnny insists, shaking my arm, as if to highlight his point. “You dealt with the cops perfectly, bro, it’s cool.”

He laughs really loudly, acting as if the whole thing is a total joke, which simply enrages me further. It took his dad a few days longer to get him out of his holding cell than me, but I haven’t explained to him what I did – that it was only because Olivia’s dad wanted to warn me off of her – so he seems to think that I’m some sort of miracle worker or something. I know that I should just tell him and get it out the way, but a big part of me is embarrassed. I don't like the fact that I achieved my freedom as a blackmail threat – it doesn’t feel right. Luckily my cousin doesn’t care enough about my personal life to question why I haven’t been seen out with Olivia recently – I highly doubt he even cares.

I roll my eyes exaggeratedly at him, wanting desperately to change the subject. I don't want to think about any of this anymore because it’s lost me what’s most important to me. It has ensured that I have to keep away from the girl that I love.

And I’m not just doing it to save my own skin.

Alan’s words did have a surprising effect on me. At first I was determined that I would disobey him no matter what, but the long, wet walk home made me notice something – Olivia would have a better future without me, and I really should allow her to have that. I love her, so I have to let her go. It really is that straightforward.

Only, that isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Every time she messages me, I want to respond, every time she calls me, it kills me to ignore her, and that one time she showed up at the door – it nearly destroyed me to send her away. I got a serious yelling at from grandma for that one, but once I explained my reasoning to her, she seemed to understand.

Maybe she got why I needed to separate myself from Olivia, or maybe it became clear to her which direction I was going down. Either way, she’s been warier of me ever since. Things have been... different.

“Look, Marco, I’m gonna level with you,” I watch him put down his tools as his face turns oddly serious for him. “The guys that I’ve been working for – that you’ve actually been doing some bits and pieces for – they aren’t small-time. They are the mob...” he says this as if it’s nothing, but it makes my heart pound faster. I feel an odd nervy atmosphere fill the room as he continues. “And they really want you.” He stares at me, drinking in my shock a little before talking some more. “I know that it’s a little crazy, but really think about it – the money is amazing, and the work won’t be too bad. Not to start with anyway.” He tosses his arm over my shoulder, creating a feeling of camaraderie. “For guys like us, this is the best offer that we’re ever going to get. We won’t get a better life offer than this.”

My mind spins, trying to work out if he’s speaking the truth or not. Olivia has tried to show me another way, but it hasn’t quite worked out for me – so is this the best offer that I’m ever going to get? Would I be stupid to give it up now, just to go on to lead a mediocre life? I don't know which way to turn, and it’s making me feel a little sick.

If I do this – if I really do it – then I will have to give up everything here. I will really and truly have to give up Olivia for good. I can’t just think it, I have to actually do it. I cannot allow her to be dragged into this life, not for anything. This won’t be her choice, and I refuse to let my decision impact upon her – that isn’t fair.

“I’m meeting with them later, after work,” Johnny tells me, knowing that he doesn’t need to say anymore – the idea is stewing in my brain now and all I need to do is decide which way I’m going to turn. “So let me know either way.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I reply distractedly, acting as if I’m getting back to work too.

For the rest of the day, I barely get any work done because I’m making what I know will be the biggest decision of my whole entire life. It isn’t easy to choose whether or not I want to work hard to become the good guy, or if I want to take this easy path – the one that I was always destined to take. Especially when I know for a fact that the only reason I’m even considering turning this offer down is Olivia – the girl that I’m not allowed to be with anymore, the girl that I really shouldn’t be anywhere near. Even that knowledge isn’t enough to stop me from taking her into consideration.

“So,” Johnny asks me as soon as the lights have turned off and we’re completely finished for the day. “What do you think? Have you made your decision?”

My lips stretch out into a thin line while I quickly weigh the pros and cons all over again, just to be sure.

“I’m ready,” I all but whisper. “Come on, let’s go.”

With that I leave behind the life that I could have had, the future that was just within my grasp. Now that I think about it, that was all merely a pipe dream, something that was fun to fantasize about but that would never have become a reality. This is much better for everyone – I will follow my destiny, and Olivia hers.

Soon enough, we will only have been a slight hiccup in the grand scheme of things. We probably won’t even be able to remember one another’s names...

* * *

2
^nd
October 2014

T
his time
as I sit in Teasers with my crew, it’s more for pleasure than business. It’s a night-time visit, complete with lap dances and a whole load of cash being exchanged... just not from me. I’m simply sitting silently, sipping down my whiskey, wondering what the fuck I’m doing with my life.

“Hi there, stud,” a raspy voice whispers into my ear, and I turn to see Talia staring down at me with a smirk playing on her lips, and a twinkle in her eye. She’s known to punters as Destiny, but of course I know her on a more... personal level. “Whatch’a up to later?” She drawls, dragging her nail lightly along the bottom of my chin. “Only me and Amy were thinking that we would like an after party tonight. One that involves
you
.”

From the way her lips are only an inch from my face, and she’s rubbing her cleavage against my arm, there’s no misconstruing her message – only this time, for the very first time, I’m not in the mood.

The girls are smoking hot, that isn’t the issue, and I already know from previous experience that a threesome with that pair is wild and off the scale amazing... but for some reason, I’m just not feeling it tonight. She might be rubbing her fake boobs against me, and allowing her dark hair to tumble over my shoulder as her lips remain a tiny bit away from mine, but that isn’t enough to get me going.

“Sorry, babe,” I turn my face away from her, looking totally disinterested. “Got business going on later... you know what I mean?” This will be the first time that I’ve ever turned down her advances, and I’m a little worried about how she’s going to react.

Talia knows exactly who we are and what we do, and that just seems to turn her on even more. She certainly wouldn’t kick me out of her home just because there was some fucking blood on my shoe – she would probably lick my cock while I described all of the gory details of the murder to her.

She was the sort of woman that a man like me deserved.

“Don’t be sure a bore,” she laughs, nudging me, trying to get my attention back on her. “It’ll be so much fun and you know it.” She’s confused by my sudden change of heart, and I can totally understand why, but I just don't want her – that’s all there is to it. Ever since I’ve been with Olivia once more, she’s all that I can think about.

“No can do, doll face,” I continue, standing up to highlight my point. “I have to get the fuck out of here – maybe some other time.”

The pout forms on her lips before I can even start walking outside, but I can’t let that derail me. Her tantrums aren’t cute anyway, they’re fucking annoying and the last thing I need. I have to just walk away now, before she can start.

As the cold, fresh air hits my face, I can’t help but remember that day – the one where I decided to join the mafia, turning my life completely upside down on his head. I wonder what would have happened if I had told Johnny ‘no’ and I’d continued to work on myself. Looking back now, I really could have seen that night in juvie as a blip, rather than a glimpse of my future. Then I would have stayed with Olivia, and I would still be with her today, probably even married to her and thinking about having kids. Only I would be the man that she deserves, and our life together would be happy.

Maybe I would be a banker, or a shop worker – I would have been anything but
this
.

It’s a shame that it’s too late now, and that I cannot turn my life around. If I could have one wish, I would go back in time, and I would send myself along the right path instead. That one shitty decision changed everything for me, and now I’m reaping the consequences of that. Sure, I have the money that I always wanted – that I never thought a guy like me could earn – but it isn’t enough. It isn’t what I truly want anymore, and the memory of Olivia’s face when she realized just who I am, is reminder enough of that.

Knowing that I shouldn’t, but also knowing that I’m going to make another crazy decision regardless, I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial her number. I don't know what it is about Olivia that has me so hooked, but I just cannot seem to keep away no matter how hard I try. It’s the same now as it was back then – even if I did force myself to do it just the once. What I should do is go back into Teasers, finish my drink and bang those two strippers, but it isn’t what I want – not anymore.

“Hello?” She answers, sounding a little nervous. “Marco, is that you?”

“It’s me,” I sigh dejectedly. “Look I want to see you again, and I hope you do me.” I hate how sappy I sound, but the truth spills out of my mouth regardless. “I know things have been...” I shake my head quickly stopping myself from going down that road. “Look if you want to meet me again, come to the place where we first kissed, okay? I’ll be waiting.”

With that I click off the phone, and I put my head down as I walk, focusing only on the end goal of where I’m headed right now. I’ve given her a choice, and if she chooses not to come then I’ll accept that we’re over forever, that what I am is too much for her. And if she turns up, then I will see what I can do to make some sort of future actually happen.

Somehow.