Marco appears to be proud and shy at the same time being on the receiving end of praise.
“Thank you. Our goal is to bring environmentally conscious technology to grass roots America for everyone’s benefit, today and tomorrow. Beauty does not have to come with a high price tag.” His passion and commitment to his work is genuine, truly a part of him.
“I know of a lot of people, some who will be very good people to have on your side, that feel the same way.” Carol is very popular with a lot of individuals and the way she silently works her charm could be utilized in the right way. It seems she has just given her allegiance to Mr. Sexy Kastanopoulis.
“I sincerely appreciate that, Carol. These ideals are not considered ‘hippy’ thinking anymore but necessary for human sustainability.”
My regard for this man has just shot through the roof and my heart swells with pride for him.
“I’d like to talk with you about my needs,” he says looking straight into my eyes. “You are exactly what I need to take care of them.”
Carol clears her throat. “Well, I’m sure Elizabeth is more than happy to take care of you,” she says and pokes me in the back making me jump. “I’ll just leave you two discuss the details and you’re specifics.” She walks away leaving us, giggling as she goes.
“Why don’t we go into my office so we can talk about your project,” I say trying to focus but thinking, ‘So I can fantasize about you taking me on my desk like you said you would before.’
“Let’s go, Elizabeth.” Those famous three words that started it all still affect me the same way as they did then and make me flush.
I sit and he takes a seat across from me, sitting back in that casual authoritative way, resting an ankle on his knee with his arms lying comfortably on the armrests. I lean forward and take a pen in my hand playing with it, mostly for something to do to relieve the nerves that have settled in.
“So, a real estate developer, huh?” I smirk at him.
“Yep. And you a rep in a boutique agency. It suits you.” His smile is warming and affectionate. I love the way it touches my heart and hate the guilt I feel for not being open with him.
“Well, thank you, as does yours. But it appears you are much more than that. Been chewing them up and spitting them out lately, Mr. Bond?”
He throws his head back and laughs. God, how I’ve missed that sound.
“No, I haven’t really had the desire. I believe it was me who was chewed up and spit out, Miss DiStefano,” he replies, becoming serious.
I sit back and lower my gaze to hide the hurt in my face. I deserved that and more.
He leans forward and quietly says to me, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. How’ve you been, Elizabeth? I hate to say it but you don’t look as beautiful as you usually do, exactly how I feel.”
“Let’s not discuss it, Marco.” I push the words past the rock that has embedded in my throat. I can’t do this now, especially not here.
“It’s obvious, Elizabeth. We need to discuss it.” Frustration flares in his face but his body is still in control.
“Now is not the time or place, Marco. Tell me about your development and what you would like for us to do and maybe I can give you some suggestions on some other ways we can help you.” I steer the conversation to business and try to attempt to keep the mood light.
“Alright.” His expression tells me that he’ll let it go...for now.
I reach over and put on my reading glasses and look up at him a little embarrassed.
“So now you know I’m really a geek,” I smile shyly at him.
“On the contrary, you are even sexier like this, if that’s possible.” The desire is evident in his voice.
He sits back and outlines the plans for the residential and commercial units and the building timelines. I take notes and add how we can work with his company beyond the initial upfitting by communicating with the prospective homeowners in answering their questions during open houses and informational seminars. We put some things together to fill his immediate needs and I tell him that I will get back to him with a prospectus to coordinate with his timeline.
The business discussion has come to an end and an awkward silence falls showing that neither of us wants this to be done. I rise slowly and he follows my movement. I extend my hand to shake his to thank him for the opportunity in working with him. But I don’t want him to leave. What I want to do is grovel at his feet, tell him how sorry I am and that I didn’t mean any of the things I said. And mostly, please help me get out of this mess so I can belong to you. But I don’t say any of those things and just try to keep the pleading look out of my eyes.
He holds my outstretched hand in both of his larger ones. I love his hands, so strong, so competent, I love the veins in them showing the fact that he has lived life and it has made him who he is. “Walk me to my car, Elizabeth,” the subtle command tinging his words makes my heart swell. I’m singing ‘Alleluia’ inside as my eyes search his face. I just can’t let him go yet. I crave him, all of him, his presence, his smile, his warmth, everything.
“Ok. Just a second,” and I see my relief reflected in his eyes.
I sit to send Carol an IM.
I’m going to walk Marco to his car.
It’s almost lunchtime. Why don’t you go with him? He looks like he needsnourishment
.
Suits a little loose.
She noticed it too. God, this woman is the best.
I bite my lip, do I suggest it?
“Join me for lunch. We’ve got to eat, it looks like neither of us have been doing much of that lately. It’ll be a business lunch.” It’s not a request. He’s telling me that he will not be played with but on my terms.
He had me at ‘lunch’.
“Ok, I’d planned on going after we finished.” And I’m saying, ‘I’m not playing with you, just doing what I’ve got to.’
“Well, timing is everything.” He doesn’t buy it, sweet sarcasm dripping from his voice.
Going to lunch.
Have fun ;)
:p
I get my bag and sweater and say to him with a mischievous smile, “Let’s go, Marco.” He so totally got it and it shows in that wicked smile of his.
He leads me out in that delicious way he does with his hand on the small of my back making me swoon. I absolutely cannot resist this man at all. But I have to stay strong. ‘Don’t dive back in, Elizabeth.’ I repeat this over and over again in my head with everything in me pushing me in the opposite direction right into his arms.
We go to Front Street Brewery, all polished brass and heavily lacquered wood, the place filled with the usual crowd of artificial people with over inflated egos, everyone trying to appear as if they’re someone important. Why is that? Why must we categorize ourselves into a slot of ‘so-called somebody’ when it’s really all just bullshit anyway?
I don’t know anything about micro-brewing but they do that here. We pass the big brass brewer things in the front of the restaurant enclosed in a room full of windows with black and white plaques labelling the contents inside the huge urn like structures. The cute hostess leads us to a corner table upstairs smiling shyly at Marco. What is it and this guy always getting us secluded tables? He’s got some kind of a knack.
“I’m starving,” he says as we’re glancing over the menu looking up at me.
“Me too!” and we both laugh. But the laughter dies and is replaced with longing. I have to look away because what I really want is so obvious, it’s written all over my face and body. In the way my eyes eat him up, the way my chest rises and falls, how my lips part just thinking of the feel of his mouth on mine remembering the way it claims all of me.
The waitress is a young attractive college age girl with large perky breasts and a tight very round bottom dressed in the black t-shirt and yoga pant unofficial uniform. When she bends down her boobs practically are in Marco’s face, (are you kidding me?), pointing to the special items and the seasonal beers on the menu, todays ‘Mug of the Day’ is Amberjack. But he barely looks at her, his eyes never leaving me. She brings our drinks and he orders for us both, the grilled chicken sandwich with sweet potato fries for me and the black and blue burger with fries for himself.
“It was really a nice surprise to see you today, Elizabeth.” His tone is sincere and affectionate.
I smile, shaking my head, remembering my shock in seeing him standing in the office. “Yes, it was.”
He takes my hand across the table and strokes my knuckles lightly.
“When are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asks quietly but firmly.
I lower my head. And I lie...again. “There’s nothing going on, Marco.” I can’t look him in the eye because he can see right through me, holding me open and dissecting me bit by bit. That will only confirm what he already knows, that I am blatantly withholding the truth from him.
“That’s bullshit, Elizabeth.”
I look up at him, determined to change the topic but not pulling my hand away, relishing his touch. “So, what you got into in Florida after you left New York was real estate?”
He puts his head down and laughs, “You’re changing the subject. But, yes, it was. I enjoy creating beautiful things. It’s a bit like art. You have an idea and you watch it grow and come to life as each part is built piece by piece. And this is an especially great project because of the kind of area where it’s going. I’m very glad I found Wilmington and plan on being here a while.”
There is so much more to that statement than what is on the surface and it warms me inside. I silently hope that I can be a part of that in the future. But I know I can’t right now. I think he can see this on my face because his genuine smile says he hopes the same thing.
I tell him about my weekend at my brothers and how his kids kicked my butt in video games. He laughs hard.
Cocking his head to the side he states rather than asks, “You like kids.”
Blushing and shrugging my shoulders slightly I say quietly, “Yeah, I do. I like them better than adults. How can you tell?”
His smile is appreciative. “By the way you talk about your brothers kids.”
“I love them like they are my own. I love all of my nieces and nephews like that. I’m god mother to three of them.” Smiling at a special memory I continue, “My brother Rays oldest boy and I have this little secret,” and I lean in as if divulging important information, “he says I’m his favorite aunt but can’t tell anyone because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” My smile practically breaks my face.
“You’re going to be a wonderful mother, Elizabeth.”
I’m embarrassed at his tender thought but I think that’s never going to happen. “Thank you.”
He tells me he spent the weekend working and looking for a place to move to in order to get out of the hotel. Our food comes and we naturally begin our familiar way of sharing a meal, tasting each other’s food and wiping the corners of our mouths as we’ve done so many times. In such a short period we have so much history between us of moments shared and memories we’ve made. We’re so comfortable together, it’s like I’m swimming against the current trying to resist him and it’s so hard, fighting this thing between us.
When he takes me back to the office he doesn’t get out of the car. Instead he grabs my arm as I’m opening the door.
“Wait.”
I turn and look at him expectantly.
His hand is on the back of my head in my hair bringing my face to his.
“God, Elizabeth, seeing you today was like the elixir of life for me.”
I search his eyes as his breath warms my lips, he’s so close.
“Me too, Marco....”
He kisses me as if I am his sustenance, deep and hard, his tongue licking and tasting and savoring mine. He bites my lip, sucking it softly between his. I have missed his mouth so much and I return the passion of his kiss. He’s feasting on my mouth as I am his and its spectacular.
We’re breathless as he holds my face close to his, our foreheads pressed gently against each other.
“I have to go, Marco....”
“I know...,” and he kisses me lightly on my forehead, then my nose, then my lips, his lips nipping each place.
I lift my head and look into his eyes seeing my burning hunger looking back at me.
“Bye......”
“Bye......”
There are no promises, no requests. Nothing needs to be spoken out loud because we know what the other wants. And what we can or can’t give.
Marco and I haven’t spoken again this week but he sent me a text late Tuesday.
I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for sitting down with me and discussing my needs. Gratefully yours, Marco
I warm with the unsaid meaning of his words. I want to fulfill all of his needs, on my back, on all fours, on my knees, in the shower, it doesn’t matter.
I was very happy to do it and I’m looking forward to a long successful relationship. Sincerely, ~Elizabeth
I’m nervous because of the real meaning behind my reply and I hope he will understand that and I hope that once all of this is behind me he will still want me.
As am I and I’m sure once the preliminaries have been taken care of we will enjoy the fruits of our labor. Diligently, Marco
The preliminaries are already underway and I will keep you abreast of their progress. Thoroughly, Elizabeth
I look forward to hearing the outline of what you have to offer. Patiently, Marco
I have no doubt when the time comes you will be very pleased. Hopeful, Elizabeth
That time can’t be soon enough. Waiting, Marco
Hope fills me and I’m energized with renewed strength. If he can give me just a little more time, which he says he will, I’ll fix all of this mess and stop anyone else from getting hurt, me, Marco and Santino included.
It’s Friday and I’m almost dreading spending a lonely weekend in my apartment after having Marco’s lips on me. I try my best to keep the impending loneliness at bay knowing that once I walk into my apartment tonight all I’ll think about is the seeing him there with me. The memories of being with Marco this week gives me the strength to do that. It’s 3:00 and Carol calls me into her office.
“Can you come in here a minute, Elizabeth?”
Warning bells start to go off in my head because her tone is so impersonal and I begin to sweat. Our boss, the agency owner, is now out on maternity leave and Carol is officially in charge assuming all business and corporate issues.
I walk across to her office, close the door and sit in the chair across from her. She doesn’t look at me. I don’t know if she can’t or won’t and I instantly know this is not good. I start to fidget with my clothes as my nerves build. She exhales slightly and turns her gaze to me with a blank expression which only confirms it, this is more than not good, this is bad.
“Elizabeth, we all know that you have been doing a phenomenal job since you joined us.”
My jaw drops.
“Am I getting fired?” I croak out.
“No! But we received a suggestive message about you.”
Fuck! I cannot believe Santino, he’s never stooped this low before.
“How bad was it, Carol. Tell me truth.” I had to know.
She steals herself and begins, “It suggested that you participate in unscrupulous activities both professionally and personally and it would be financially beneficial for the company and clients if you did not work here.”
I feel like I have just been punched in the stomach, the pain is physical and excruciating. I cannot say a word, I am so stunned.
She continues, “Now you know we don’t believe a word of it. But corporate policy is such that it must be investigated. So, with that being said corporate has asked that we run another background check and...,” her words trail off not being able to verbalize the implications. She sighs.
“Go on.” I can’t believe my tone is as calm as it is.
“A lie detector test.”
“Are you serious?” I can’t hide my astonishment.
“It’s just policy due to the nature of the allegations.”
“I understand. No problem.” There is no emotion, no reaction in my voice and expression and I think it’s because I’m in shock.
“I thought as much but of course...,” she continues hesitantly.
“Yes...,” I wish she’d just spit every fucking thing out, my anger is rising rapidly.
“You’re business access has been suspended until all of the results are reviewed and determined. I am so sorry, Elizabeth.” There is hurt and pity in her voice and it makes me cringe, I hate people feeling sorry for me.
“It’s not your fault, Carol.” I am officially humiliated and fucking mad as hell.
“Well, off the record then, you must have really pissed someone off and they want to get back at you badly to come at you this way,” she says as her body relaxes slightly. Carol opens her desk drawer and pulls out her vapor Ecig and starts puffing on it with a cocky smirk on her face. She knows she can get away with certain things as the unofficial senior in the office. My boss would be nowhere without Carol and she knows it but she doesn’t take advantage of it, except right now with the Ecig, it’s a small indulgence and Carol loves it.
I sit back in the chair and roll my eyes at how right she is. I want to ask her if I can have a hit off of that, my how times have changed.
“Yeah, my ex, Santino. I might as well come clean as he’s obviously made his presence very well known. That son of a bitch hacked into Marco’s personal email account, wiped it clean and loaded his system with viruses on Monday. I don’t know how he found out about us but he did and this is his way of pay back. Because I knew he wasn’t done with his games yet, I stopped seeing Marco. That’s why we were so shocked to see each other here the other day. But this,” and I sweep my hand towards Carol, “is new for him.” There, most of the story is out.
She lets out a low whistle, “Wow, Elizabeth. I am so sorry you have to live with this.” She shakes her head with disbelief taking it all in.
“Oh, this is nothing compared to when he was here,” I say thinking back to those times.
“What are you going to do? How can you stop him?”
“Well, there’s one thing I can do for starters and I’ve already met with a lawyer about it,” I say with new conviction filling me.
“Good. Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” and she takes my hand with compassion in her eyes, “as a friend.”
“Thanks, Carol, but you’ve already been dragged in enough. And there’s nothing you can do. So, what do I do now? Do I come into work?”
“Corporate didn’t say anything about suspending you, just your access. So, continue to come in and any applications you can do hardcopy, do that way and I’ll make sure you get paid for them.”
“Thanks, Carol. I really appreciate it.” I am so lucky because if this had to happen it happened with her on my side. I am finally feeling the strength to relieve myself of these chains of past torment I’ve worn willingly. It’s definitely way past time I fought back.
I’m on my first glass of wine at 7:00 as I lower myself into a hot bubble bath. This is just what I needed. Well, almost. I can think of much better and he’s a delicious 6’ tall man with a magical mouth, tantalizing fingers and the most amazing lover I have ever known. But more than that he is an incredibly kind, patient, strong and considerate man. And I love him...because of who he is. My heart aches as my body reacts to the memories of him, how he hears the call of my yearning and answers each plea with complete perfection.
I lean my head back against the tub and sigh loudly. My world is collapsing around me, smashing everything in its wake. I know Santino’s not done yet. As a matter of fact, I’m sure he’s just getting started.
I put on the piano concerto Marco had on the other night when we were in this exact same place. It seems like a million years ago now. I drift back to that night and I’m reliving it in my mind when my phone rings. Looking over the edge at the caller ID, I see it’s Marco and my heart skips a beat.
“Hello.”
“Who the fuck is Santino really, Elizabeth?” He is so angry.
“Why? What happened, Marco?” Newly resurging dread courses through my veins at what I’m pretty sure he’s talking about.
“Just tell me who the fuck he is!!!” His patience is gone with this latest event.
I try to remain calm as I sit up in the tub, the warm water splashing around me as my skin reacts to the cool air. “Please tell me what happened, Marco.”
I hear his in and out breathing as he’s trying to get himself under control. “He sent me some photos of you and had some lovely things to say as well. Now, tell me who he is.” His words come out dragged between gritted teeth.
Oh, God! Feeling defeated, I tell him, “He’s my husband.”
He explodes and he has every right to. “Are you fucking kidding me?! You’re married?! Why didn’t you tell me, Elizabeth? Didn’t you think I needed to know something like that?”
I knew this was going to happen and I probably made it worse because I didn’t tell him from the beginning. I thought it was going to be a one night between us, then it turned into two, then we’re cooking together. How did it get so far so fast? I saw the signs and ignored them, burying my head in the ecstasy and forgetting my reality. Now it’s blowing up in my face and taking out innocent casualties because of my negligence.
“It’s not like that.” I let out a heavy sigh. “He’s been gone over two and a half years.”
“I’m on my way there and I don’t want any more bullshit. You are going to tell me everything. Tonight.” And he hangs up.
It’s time for him to know the whole story, Santino has made sure of it. I’m grateful, actually, that everything’s coming out. I have been a coward for way too long, hiding in this self-imposed prison of my life, not living, just existing. And if I’d done what I should have done two years ago all of this could have been avoided.
I get out of the tub and throw on some leggings and a t-shirt. Five minutes later the doorbell rings. I steal myself for the confrontation I know is coming and go to answer the door barefooted, my hair still up from the bath.
When I open the door my heart skips. His brow is furrowed in his residual anger, his jaw is clenched but his eyes soften when he sees me. He’s in those jeans that fit him perfectly in all the right places with a white thermal and boots.
“Come in.” I stand aside to let him enter. He stops once he’s inside and turns to me as I walk by him.
His hand reaches up to touch the damp hair at the nape of my neck. “You were in the bath.” I know he’s thinking of our bath like I was, remembering the intimate closeness we shared just a few nights ago, it was much more than just physical.
“Yes, I was. With a glass of wine, would you like one? I had a shit day myself,” my nonchalance is an attempt to hide my nervousness and instant reaction to him.
He looks at me trying to read me answering, “Sure.”
I go into the kitchen to refill my glass and get one for Marco as he makes himself comfortable on the couch, one arm stretched along the back, the other on the armrest. I hand him his wine and take the seat in the chair. If this is a bare it all inquisition, I need some space. He sits quietly looking at me intently waiting for me to say something.
Squaring my shoulders I begin. “I guess I need to start at the beginning. All that I ask is that you please not judge me and let me finish.”
“Of course, Elizabeth. I would think that you know me at least a little by now.” He sits back and takes a sip of his wine listening, his mouth a thin line and his eyes focused on me.
This is going to suck.
“About four and a half years ago I met Santino on Facebook.” His eyebrows raise and I put up my hand to stop his train of thought. “Remember what I asked, Marco.” He nods his head in understanding. “Well, we began chatting and before I knew it I was completely intrigued by him. A few months of talking we agreed he would come to visit, he was in the UK.” I look off to some place in my mind going back to that time. “When he left I had been utterly and completely seduced and enchanted by him, he seemed perfect. A man who was confident in himself and confident in being with a woman.” I glance at him and I see a flash of emotion cross his face. I don’t mean to hurt him but I to have tell him everything, the why’s and how’s. “Over the course of two years and many transatlantic flights I fell madly and deeply in love with him. He had asked me to marry him and we shopped for the ring while I was over there. We decided, or maybe he’d planned all along, I’m not sure, that he would move here. I had to get the immigration paperwork together and Janie helped me with that. She was aware of the whole relationship right from the beginning, although she doesn’t know how it ended. No one knows, except now you.” Again, I look at him, his face is still non-expressive. He nods as if saying, ‘continue.’
“The last time I went to visit him he pushed me around a couple of times. Funny thing is it turned me on.” I lower my head, shaking it, laughing quietly. “But from the beginning he would always go off on these tirades in insane attacks of anger for no apparent reason. The things he would say to me I would never say to anyone. But I chose to ignore it, even asking him to forgive me and apologizing for the thing I must have done to cause it.
My father was still alive at that time and my sister was living with him. He had been diagnosed with cancer and after my mother died a few years earlier, Adriana had taken on the role of his ‘wife’, so to speak. That is another story entirely which makes me sick.” I pause for a moment, thinking of it then continue, “I had spoken to them from the start about him. Obviously, they wanted to know where and why I was going on all of these trips. I told my brother and his family as well. I wanted to tell them about the man I had fallen in love with, wanting them to like him too. They were very suspicious right from the beginning. They said, ‘Why would a grown man leave his home and family for a stranger’. The more I talked the more they disliked him.