Sister Betty Says I Do (7 page)

S
everal days later, after Freddie had seen the doctor and returned with the good news that he could drive again, Sister Betty found time to call Leotis. She could've left a message when she didn't reach him after the hospital fiasco with Ima, but she wanted to say her piece directly to him. A short time later she finally reached him at home. As much as she'd determined she'd fuss at him, she found she couldn't. He seemed in such a good mood, and actually, she was, too.

“Today is so bright, so warm, and just so beautiful, and of course, God is so good,” she declared. “I feel the same now as I did the other day, and I could've just shouted for joy right there in my living room. You just can't imagine the relief I felt when Freddie told me that the doctor said the medicine he's taking has his blood pressure under control.”

“That's a good thing,” Leotis replied with a tone that didn't seem as jubilant as Sister Betty's. “We got to get you two to that altar. We don't want unnecessary stumbles along the way because he doesn't like taking medicine. God gave us doctors for a ” reason.

“I just hope you continue conveying that message to Freddie. He fights me tooth and nail about taking his medicine and trying to help him get well. He says faith should be all the medicine he needs.”

Sister Betty and Leotis chatted a bit longer. She was laughing while complaining about the trustees' stubbornness. She, however, never mentioned the fiasco from Bea's recent visit, as well as her threats. Meanwhile, whenever she talked about how she'd love to see him settle down, too, and give the church a first lady, he avoided her innuendos regarding any possible attraction to Sharvon, or vice versa, as a possibility

Despite the good-natured conversation they were having, Sister Betty decided she needed to say her original piece, after all. He'd just have to hear her out.

“You know better than to try and make any attempt at soul saving with Ima,” she said in a matter-of-fact manner. “God don't want you ending up in no fatal attraction situation.” And then, as had become her recent habit of doing, she gave him the same advice she'd give all day, every day. “Just remember what happened to that rabbit in that pot. Ima might make ya hot . . . but you'll burn in hell if you take your hand off of God's plow.”

As usual, Leotis laughed it off, hoping to end the call on a good note. “You take care, my wonderfully anointed spiritual mother. I love you, and there's nothing you can do about it.”

“You know I feel the same way about you.” There was a short pause, however. Sister Betty hadn't hung up yet and neither had Leotis when she suddenly heard a familiar female voice in the background. She couldn't hear or understand everything, but she could feel her face contorting into a disapproving scowl. Was Ima there this entire time?

Her peace of mind quickly plummeted, leaving in its place questions. As if she were his natural mother, she began to worry.
Sweet Jesus, how can he allow her into his home?
He's
supposed to shun every appearance of evil
.

Even though Leotis had central air-conditioning blasting throughout his home, beads of sweat suddenly peppered his forehead. He almost broke his telephone when he slammed it down, hoping Sister Betty had hung up before Ima came out of his bathroom and began speaking. While there was a grim look that crept across his face, he saw a look of complete satisfaction upon Ima's.

Ima took one hand and tossed back her long hair, which had covered long gold loop earrings, now swinging to a rhythm he couldn't hear but was certain was seductive. Humming an off-key melody, she sashayed over toward where Leotis stood rooted by his desk.

He quickly looked away. He shook his head, remembering how it'd been only minutes ago when she appeared on his porch. She'd been uninvited, and her boldness had surprised and paralyzed him.

With the sunlight framing her beautiful face and causing the normal specks of brown to appear darker in her green eyes, she'd removed any chance of him not allowing her to enter his house. Her perfume rivaled the fragrance from the roses spread about his yard, making him want to inhale continuously, as though the scent caused orgasms. She had on a formfitting red- and white-striped sundress, wearing it as if it had been designed solely for her, and her painted toenails peeked out of sandals of the same color and pattern.

“Thank you for allowing me to use your bathroom,” Ima purred. “I guess if Sister Betty had been home when I passed through this neighborhood, I could've used hers.”

The way she'd spoken the lie had a sobering effect. She'd done it easily, and he wasn't certain if she hadn't convinced herself. “Are you certain you knocked hard enough or rang her doorbell?” He wavered between calling her a liar outright and getting her to admit it on her own.

“Look at me, Reverend.” Ima took a step back so she could present him with all she'd brought to work him over with. “I'm too small to knock but so hard or press persistently on a doorbell.” She stopped to lift a leg, holding it in midair to fix a sandal strap that needed no fixing. As if the sunlight had followed her inside, its rays filtered through Leotis's living room window. A seductive halo formed around Ima's mango body-buttered leg. She turned her ankle so he could get a good glimpse. She'd been around long enough to know a leg man when she saw one, and she'd bet all she had that he was definitely one. Slowly lowering her leg, she continued with mock remorse. “I guess upon second thought, though, Sister Betty is old. Perhaps she don't hear as well anymore and I should've knocked harder.”

Ima didn't wait for Leotis to respond. She went directly into the second act of her self-directed play. “Please, again, accept my apology for barging in. I should've known better than to bother a man in the midst of doing the Lord's work.”

“It's not like we haven't had this discussion.” Her lie having a sobering effect or not hadn't stopped Leotis from sweating. His heart pounded. He cleared his throat, losing count of how many times he'd done so since she'd raised and lowered her leg. “Neither of us would want to give anyone or the other the wrong impression.” He then quickly folded his arms and nodded toward the door. “I think you'd better go—”

Ima's eyes lit up as she interrupted Leotis, asking playfully, “Says who?”

 

While Leotis and Ima played a game of kitty and mouse in heat, a few doors away, Sharvon arrived home. She walked inside the kitchen, greeting Sister Betty and tossing her briefcase onto one of the counter chairs before heading straight for the refrigerator. She poured a glass of lemonade, drinking it in one gulp.

“You must be exhausted working these nine- and ten-hour days, running back and forth between your office and home,” Sister Betty told her. “How much longer will you need to do that? It's been almost a month and a half nonstop.”

“You worry too much,” Sharvon replied between gulps from a second glass. Licking her lips and turning the glass in her hand, she said, “I tell you, this is so good. It's like precious liquid gold. But I can't stay. I've got to go out again.”

“Again?”

“Yes, I caught a cab home. My car broke down over by the Anderson Library”

“Are you okay?”

“I'm tired, but other than that, I'm fine.” Sharvon rinsed out her glass and set it on the counter before reaching for the telephone on the wall. “I've got to call another cab to take me back.”

Sister Betty walked over to Sharvon and gently took the telephone from her hand. There was a noticeable twinkle in her eyes, and a playful grin appeared. “It don't make sense spending all that hard-earned money on no cab to go so far.”

“It's not like I can't afford it.” Sharvon laughed. “I'm almost filthy rich since you won't allow me to pay rent. And that reminds me.” Sharvon placed her arms around Sister Betty's small shoulders. “I'm going to need you to deposit those checks I gave you toward the telephone bills and all the dry cleaning you keep picking up for me and paying for.”

“You'll have plenty of time to repay me when you hit the really big time with your new partnership.” Sister Betty slipped out of Sharvon's grasp and headed toward the living room. She arrived just in time to answer the phone, which had rung just once.

“Hello.”

“Sister Betty, I need your help!”

Sister Betty placed the telephone closer to her ear. Leotis was whispering, and she could only imagine why. “Why are you whispering in your own home? What's the matter?”

“Sister Betty, it's about Ima, and I don't know what to do.”

“What about her?”

“I know she's gone through a lot with her former fiance hurting her, and she's probably just seeking attention, but she can't be popping up on my doorstep anytime she pleases.”

“I tried to tell you those Hellraisers gonna land you in hell if you don't stand your ground—”

“You just hold on, Leotis. I'm coming over there right now!”

“Sharvon,” Sister Betty snapped, “why are you in my conversation?”

“I'm sorry, Cousin Betty. I picked up the phone the same time you did. Besides,
our
pastor needs help with that trollop, and I am an attorney. I can help!”

Leotis spoke up quickly. “That's all right, Miss Sharvon!” But Leotis wasn't quick enough, and neither was Sister Betty. Sharvon had slammed down the phone and was practically out the front door before either of them could say another word.

Sister Betty snatched a spare bottle of blessed oil off the fireplace mantel and raced out the door.

A few minutes later Sharvon stood in Leotis's living room, her hand on one hip and her finger pointed in Ima's face. “This man of God does not want you stepping on and off his property or inside his home anytime you feel like!”

Sister Betty heard Sharvon's voice booming through Leotis's open door as soon as she stepped onto his front porch. No sooner had she come inside his living room than she saw Armageddon in full swing. Sharvon was still dressed in a nice pair of blue fitted slacks, a white short-sleeved blouse, and See by Chloe three-hundred-dollar, five-inch white sandals. Nothing she wore was a match for Ima's hooker-work gear. Despite his call for help, Ima's man-getting halter top held Leotis's eyes imprisoned. It didn't look like he was trying to escape.

“If he didn't want me stopping by when I'm in the neighborhood, then he could've said so,” Ima lied to Sharvon. “The cat ain't got his tongue.”

Oh yes, that cat does have that tongue
, Sister Betty thought as she looked over at Leotis. O
r he would've said something during the three minutes that I've been standing here.

“Well, I'm here now as his attorney, and I'm telling you to back off, before I get a restraining order on your trifling behind.”

“Who are you calling a
trifling behind?”
Ima's huge bosom seemed to swell, threatening to break loose and breast slap Sharvon. Her green eyes became the color of moss as she stepped forward, placing both hands on her hips, but nowhere near where Sharvon could reach out and snatch her by her halter. Words shot out of her mouth, aiming with accuracy at Sharvon. “I work hard for what I have!”

Using the space Ima had left between them, Sharvon took several steps in Ima's direction, stopping within a couple of inches. “And I'm certain your back must be killing you from it.” Sharvon, who was only slightly taller than Ima at five foot eight to Ima's five-six, then took a few steps back, leaving her anger still in Ima's space. “Spend time with a chiropractor and stay away from my client! I am not telling you again.”

During the time the two young women traded barbs, Sister Betty had moved quickly to the other side of the room. She stood by Leotis, who remained by the telephone. She leaned in. “You're a man of God, son,” she whispered loudly in his ear. She thought it was the only way of getting him out of the she-devil's trance.

He jumped just a little, which told Sister Betty she'd surprised him. Still whispering loudly, she snapped, “You letting this go on and from the way you drooling, I'd say you was enjoying it a bit too much.”

It took Leotis a few minutes to finally move from his comfortable buzzard perch. He began talking in his bass-like preaching voice, trying to sound in charge. “I'm trying to be as delicate as I can, and it doesn't seem to work. So from this point on, I will act as I should. I'm not a best friend. I'm a man of God who will be available only for spiritual matters, unless it's a matter of the utmost urgency. Is that clear, ladies?”

“Yes, Reverend Leotis Tom,” Ima purred. She shot a quick glance toward Sharvon. “You can call off your legal buzzard.”

“Sharvon does not handle any of my legal affairs!” The words had flown out of his mouth a full two seconds before his brain had a chance to choose them wisely. The pained and embarrassed look on Sharvon's face made him feel as though he'd stabbed someone who'd wanted only to help.
Lord, help me.

Sharvon didn't say a word—not to Sister Betty or to Leotis—and never looked in Ima's direction. She held her head high, losing count of how many times he'd tossed her feelings aside in Ima's presence. She turned and slowly walked out the front door, leaving behind any thoughts of or plans for saving Leotis from himself for him in her love life.

No sooner had Sharvon walked out the door than Ima looked at Sister Betty. With her back now to Leotis, Ima winked and quickly extended her left hand. She wiggled her vacant ring finger before giving her a thumbs-up and a wide grin. Quickly dropping the facade, she turned around. Her eyes appeared watery as she looked at him.