Shield My Heart (Heaven Hill Book 9) (13 page)

“Calvert.” Dalton said the one word that his dad didn’t want to hear. He could tell by the way his dad let his head fall back against the seat. He rolled his eyes dramatically as he tried to look at his son. Dalton didn’t let the drama derail him. “I know you can figure out where he is and how I can talk to him. Samuel doesn’t want me to have any part of this, so he’s not being very helpful. For once in your life, I need you to put aside your own selfishness and help me out.”

“I don’t know,” Lance argued, raising his eyebrow and leveling his son with a gaze. “You’re asking me—someone on the inside—where someone on the outside is. Do you know how crazy that is?”

Dalton smiled, but it was smartass at best. “You’ve got your fingers into everything and you know it. Now cut the shit and help me find Calvert or tell him where he can find me. I want to get this taken care of. I don’t want Samuel, me, or Deacon to have to live with a target on our backs. We already have a small one from the shit you’ve pulled over the years,” he took a jab, hoping it had the effect he wanted it to.

Lance sat back in his chair, ignoring his son’s words. His own smartass smile covered his face as he dropped what he hoped was a bomb. “I hear you’ve taken a leave of absence from Heaven Hill.”

How did he know that? Dalton felt himself get colder at the thought there was someone he knew feeding other people information. Especially about the club. “How’d you hear that?”

“People talk when they think no one’s listening.”

His temper fumed, and he fought hard not to show it. “Which means I know you know where Calvert is. Just tell me.”

“Sorry.” Lance lifted his hands up. “I have no info for you, but I have to say, son, it was a good time for you to let that weak-ass club go.”

Dalton tilted his head. “That’s the second time you’ve mentioned Heaven Hill being weak. Do you know something I don’t?”

“Makin’ observations.”

“Here’s an observation I want you to make. Listen real good when you go back to your cell, and find out where the fuck Calvert is. I need to talk to him. He found me once, he can find me again. Got me?”

Lance’s smarmy smile disappeared. “You think you’re hot shit, son. Someone’s gonna knock you down a peg or two, and they’re gonna take others with you.”

Dalton was pissed. “Stop with the threats and talkin’ in circles. If you get anything useful for me, give me a collect call. If not, forget I ever existed, because I sure as hell ain’t your son.”

Walking out of the jail, Dalton wanted to kick and scream. Actually, he wanted to do something he hadn’t done in a long while. He wanted to box, and he hoped like hell there was somebody willing to spar at the clubhouse, because he needed the release like he never had before.

‡
Chapter Sixteen

“U
sually people who take a leave from the club don’t hang out here during their off-time,” Tyler’s voice boomed in the big room.

Dalton grinned as he caught sight of Drew and Tyler in the boxing ring that sat on Heaven Hill property. It’d been around for as long as he could remember. He and Drew had spent time as teenagers in this very ring with Tyler. They’d come full circle, he figured.

“Yeah.” Dalton took his cut off and started suiting up in gloves, tape, and a mouthpiece. “But sometimes you have a need to beat the shit out of someone else. Here I can do it without that pesky assault charge.”

Drew hopped up on his feet, wearing a tank top and basketball shorts. “We haven’t been in the ring together for a long time. I can’t wait.” He hopped from one foot to the other. “When I beat your ass, you can tell me what’s wrong with you and my sister.”

He swallowed against the lump in his throat. How could he tell his best friend he was going to be an uncle? How could he explain he was staying away because of
his
uncle, and he’d stayed away before because he’d felt too much? The relationship with Mandy had gotten too real, he’d started making plans, plans he’d sworn to himself were never going to be for him.

He’d seen himself with her in a decade, in a house on the property he was buying, and he’d even seen a kid. That was when he knew he had to pull back, because he wasn’t cut out to be anyone’s father. Someone had to break the Barnett family cycle, and he’d known it was him. Until it wasn’t anymore. His stomach was in knots as he thought about the decisions he’d already made and the ones he would have to make later. When did he punish himself enough? When did he punish her enough? And for what? Fear? That fucking pissed him off.

“C’mon, Andrew.” He pounded his fists together, liking the way the blunt sound echoed off the walls of the garage. “Let’s go.”

“Maybe I can loosen up that jaw of yours,” Drew taunted as the two of them got into the ring, circling one another.

“Don’t make me have to pull you two apart,” Tyler warned as he joined them back inside the square.

“It’s not anything we haven’t done before; I’ve laid his ass out plenty of times,” Dalton taunted back.

He was right; he had, just like Drew had laid him out.

“Quit talkin’, fucker, and let’s go.”

Being best friends meant they could each telegraph what the other was going to do. For a full two minutes, neither one of them landed a punch. Not until Tyler interjected his thoughts.

“Drew, you gonna let him avoid you? I taught you better than that.” Tyler yelled at Drew.

Drew heard Tyler’s message loud and clear and advanced on Dalton with the agility he had retained from the football field. At the same time, Dalton had, more than once, fought for his life in his earlier years, and he was ready.

They pounded on one another with an explosion of speed and accuracy. Tyler refused to stop them, because he knew this had been coming for a long time.

Drew landed a punch, causing Dalton’s head to swing back and a grunt to sound loudly against the empty space of the garage. “Get ready to start talkin’, buddy. My sister may be okay with the way things are going with you, but I’m sure as hell not.”

Tyler raised his eyebrow. Was Drew ready to confront his best friend? Most everyone had been keeping their thoughts and opinions to themselves, not asking any questions, not wanting to be caught up in the gossip. Looked like Drew was done with that shit.

Landing a punch of his own, Dalton felt a small victory when he saw blood over Drew’s eye. “It’s nobody’s business but mine and Mandy’s. When we’re ready to talk, we will.”

Pushing against Dalton’s shoulders, Drew backed him into a corner, holding him there with a knee to the stomach. “But when it comes to her health, how far are you going to go? She’s called in to work at least five times, and Charity hears her puking in the bathroom. Something’s wrong with her, and you act like you don’t give a shit about it. What the fuck’s wrong with you?”

Pushing back against Drew’s hold, Dalton exploded out of the corner, landing punches in rapid succession and then using his knee to get Drew in the stomach the same way he’d been kneed a few seconds before. Drew went down on the mat, trying to catch his breath.

Watching, Tyler knew Dalton could continue. He was breathing heavily, but he was in control of himself. Drew wasn’t, he panted, grabbing his stomach, rolling on the mat.

“I told you. Best friend, brother or not, when she’s ready and when I’m ready, we’ll tell people what’s going on. Not sooner. And leave her alone.”

It was the spark Drew had been looking for. Anything to show him Dalton still cared about her. He knew them both well enough to know if Dalton still showed interest, neither one would fully give up the other. He felt his first ray of hope that they could work it out. He hated seeing both of them miserable. “You wanna defend her honor, why don’t you do it by her side, Dalton? What are you hiding?”

In that moment, Dalton wanted to tell his friend everything, but a sense of pride stopped him. He’d asked for help for so much of his life, he couldn’t bring himself to do it again. “You wouldn’t understand.” He took a glove off and threw it down on the mat before taking the other one off.

“I’ve always understood you, even when it was hard to.”

The sound of his best friend’s voice was enough to make him stop as he turned his back on the two men who had been there for him through some really dark days. “I can’t ask you to understand this.”

And he couldn’t, because he knew Drew would be excited if he were going to be a dad. So excited he’d be shouting it from the rooftops, and at the same time Dalton knew he couldn’t. Every time he thought about this child, his stomach clenched, and he worried like hell he’d be introducing someone to the world like his parents did. What if he turned out to be just like his dad? Better to never be around than to disappoint a kid the way he had been. It was best for everyone if he left and never came back, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t make it through his life if he never saw Mandy again—and there lay his problem.

He was scared to stick around, and at the same time knew he’d never survive without her. He had no clue what to do, but he hoped he could work it out—had to work it out, because he wasn’t sure how much longer the two of them could handle this.

“You can’t understand this,” he threw out over his shoulder before he left. As the door shut behind him, he heard Drew’s frustrated voice.

“Because you won’t let me.”

And that was the crux of the problem, wasn’t it? He wasn’t willing to let anyone help him because he didn’t want to feel responsible if anyone else got hurt. He’d never be able to live with himself.

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Chapter Seventeen

T
he sun was out, and the day was gorgeous. Instead of spending her lunch hour cooped up in the office, Mandy had locked up, since Charity was doing home visits with clients, and walked the block down to the coffee shop. Today she was hungry; her stomach actually growled with hunger instead of trembling with the possibility of sickness. Going inside, she ordered a plain turkey sandwich, some fruit, and a sweet tea. Probably wasn’t the best meal she’d ever had, but it sounded so good she couldn’t deny herself.

Taking her plate and drink out onto the sidewalk, she spotted an empty table in the outdoor seating area. It wasn’t directly in the sun, but it was enough that she’d feel the warmth on her face. Having a seat, she moved her sunglasses to the top of her head, pushing back her longer pieces of hair, and took a large bite of her sandwich.