She Writes Love... (17 page)

“Why don’t we take her down the beach first to see the ocean up close? She hasn’t stopped staring at it since we got out of the truck.”

“Good idea.”

He signed to her.
Do you want to go down to the beach first and stand by the shore?

Yes! I would love that.

We took off our shoes and I grabbed Leah’s hand and we ran down to the water. We stopped just before it could touch our feet. She bent down and held her hands out as the water crashed into them when it hit the shore.

“Has Leah ever had a hearing aid?”

“Yeah. She’s had dozens of them when she was little. They never helped.”

Leah stood up and pointed out into the ocean and then looked back at us. She signed,
I think that’s Keaton out there.

“She thinks that surfer out there is Keaton,” Ben said to me.

I put my hand on my forehead to block the sun as I stepped closer to the shore and looked.

“Yep. That’s him.”

Ben signed to Leah that she was right and that it was Keaton. She smiled as she watched him surf.

“I thought he doesn’t surf this late,” Ben commented.

“He normally doesn’t.”

I stood at the shoreline and screamed his name. He looked at me and then began paddling towards the shore. I looked over at Leah as Keaton stepped out of the water and noticed her jaw drop when she saw him in his wetsuit. He grabbed his board and walked over to us with a grin.

“Hey. What are you three doing here?” he asked.

“Why are you here? You never surf this late.”

He set down his surfboard and took hold of Leah’s hands. “Hi.” He smiled.

“Hi,” she mouthed.

“Got a late start this morning. One of my websites I designed had a glitch and I had to fix it and then Mom made me sit down and have breakfast with her and Dad.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Leah turned to Ben and signed something to him. He looked at Keaton.

“Leah wants to know if you want to come with us to the pier. It’s her first time here.”

“I’d like that,” he said directly to her. “I’ll be right back. Let me change out of this suit and into my regular clothes.”

Leah nodded. Keaton went to change and Leah turned and looked at the ocean. Ben smiled at me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a warm embrace. Why he was doing this? I didn’t know, but I didn’t mind. There was no place else I wanted to be but in his arms.

Ben

T
he four of us walked along the pier and Keaton did a little bit of signing with Leah. Apparently, he spent all day yesterday learning some things so he could communicate better with her. Paisley and I walked hand in hand and enjoyed the day. We stopped into a restaurant for lunch on the pier and, as soon as we were seated, my phone rang. It was my dad.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hello, Ben. Your mom and I would like you and Leah to come for dinner tonight and bring Paisley too.”

Shit
. “Hold on a second, Dad.”

I signed to Leah.
Dad and Lucinda want us to come to dinner tonight.

NO. I don’t want to go.

Paisley is invited too.
“Would you like to have dinner with my parents?”

She smiled and looked at Leah. “Sounds like fun.”

She signed.
It’s not fun and they make it clear that I’m not welcomed there.

Come on, Leah. You knew you’d have to see them eventually. Might as well get it over with.

Fine.

I understood her not wanting to go, but she really had no choice. Once she turned eighteen, the decision would strictly be hers.

“Thank you.” I smiled as I looked over at Paisley.

“You’re welcome.”

This particular restaurant had a pond outside and Keaton took Leah to show her it. “I think Leah had a great time today.”

“It seems like she did. She’s a great girl, Ben. The bond the two of you have reminds me of the bond between me and Keaton.”

“She is pretty amazing and she’s so smart. She never lets her deafness stop her from doing everything she wants to. It’s just too bad that my dad can’t see her for what an amazing person she really is.”

Paisley took hold of my hand and squeezed it tight. “He will one day.”

As I smiled at her, I leaned my forehead against hers. A few moments later, Keaton and Leah walked back to the table.

“You and Leah are coming to family dinner tomorrow night,” Keaton said.

“We are?”

“They are?” Paisley asked.

“Yep. I already called mom and she’s really excited.”

“I guess we’re going to your family dinner tomorrow.” I smiled at Paisley.

After lunch, we walked Keaton back to his car and I drove Paisley home.

“Why don’t you and Leah come inside while I change and then we can go back to your house until it’s time to go to dinner?”

“Okay. Leah can play with Romeo for a bit.” I smiled.

I signed to Leah that we were going to stay at Paisley’s house for a while so she could change and freshen up before we went home. When we walked through the door, the first thing Leah did was sit on the couch and Romeo followed, jumping up on her lap. Paisley set her purse down and told me she’d be right back after she changed her clothes. I took a seat next to Leah on the couch and Romeo walked over to me.

I love him
, Leah signed.

He’s a great cat.

I heard Paisley call my name from the bedroom, so I got up and walked in there.

“Where are you?” I said.

“In the closet. Can you reach that white box on the top shelf? I usually keep a little step stool in here, but I don’t know where it went.”

I smiled as I reached up and took the box off the shelf. “Here.”

“Thank you.”

I looked around and noticed that all of her husband’s clothes were still hanging in the closet. His shoes were neatly placed and his ties hung on a tie rack. When I looked at Paisley, she looked down.

“I—”

She didn’t need to explain because there wasn’t one part of me that couldn’t believe she never cleaned out his things. I placed my finger under her chin and gently lifted it so she was staring at me.

“Don’t. There’s no need for you to feel bad or embarrassed. All of Amy’s things are still in the bedroom, right down to all her makeup and perfume. I get it, Paisley. No one else does, but I do.”

She looked down at my lips as she gently placed her hand on my cheek and then kissed me. She dropped the box and ran her fingers through my hair as our kiss became more passionate. Our tongues danced and our lips moved in sync. I wanted more of her. I wanted to make love to her.

****

Paisley

B
en was an amazing kisser. I could sit and kiss him all night long. He pulled me closer and I could feel his erection through the fabric of his jeans. He was rock hard. I often imagined what he looked like completely naked. I could feel the wetness between my legs and the ache was begging me for a release. I hadn’t taken care of myself in a long time. I wondered if Ben had had sex since Amy. He was a man and he had needs. His hand brushed over my breast while mine made its way to his rock solid bulge.

“We have to stop,” he said as he pulled away. “Leah’s in the other room and—”

I placed my finger over his lips. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize for turning me on. God, Paisley, something’s happening here,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair and turned away.

My heart was pounding and the ache wasn’t going away. “I know,” I responded.

“I better get back out there before Leah walks in here.”

He walked out of my bedroom and I picked up the box I dropped on the floor. I took out the blue floral cami that was in it and put it on. It was the first time I’d ever worn it. I had purchased it to wear to Montana, but I couldn’t bring myself to even look at it after he died, so I tucked it away in a box and shoved it up on the shelf, where it stayed for the past year. I wasn’t even sure why I wanted to wear it. I ran a brush through my hair and touched up my makeup before walking into the living room. Leah was sitting on the couch with Romeo in her lap and Ben sat in the chair across from her, playing on his phone.

“Are you ready?” he asked with a smile.

“Yep. Let’s go.”

****

I
sat and watched the way Ben’s dad was with Leah. He barely paid attention to her and, when he did, Ben had to translate. It was really sad that he had never learned to sign, knowing his daughter was deaf. Ben’s mom, Lucinda, wouldn’t give Leah the time of day and now I saw for myself why Leah hated coming over here. Finn and Olivia didn’t say too much to her and I was feeling really uncomfortable with their behavior. I said something to Ben about it and he said just to try and ignore it because that was what he had to do. As I was helping Lucinda clean up the kitchen, I spoke about Leah.

“I know how hard it must be to have Leah here.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it seems like Ben is the only person in this family who treats her with dignity and respect.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, nor do you know the situation,” she said with irritation.

“Ben told me the story, and I know it’s none of my business, but that poor girl didn’t ask to be a part of this family.”

“You’re right, Paisley; it’s none of your business.”

Just as she said that, Ben walked into the kitchen. “Mom! What the hell is going on?”

“It’s okay, Ben,” I said.

“No, it’s not. You do not talk to Paisley that way.”

She turned and gave him a stern look. “Then I suggest you tell your girlfriend that what goes on in this family is none of her business. This isn’t one of her columns where she can just spew advice.”

“She’s right, Ben. I’m sorry.” I grabbed my purse and went outside.

As I lit up a cigarette, Ben came walking out.

“Paisley, I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I was out of line. I never should have said anything, but I couldn’t help it. The way your family treats Leah is terrible.”

“You know those things start fires.” He smiled as he pointed to my cigarette.

I smiled back.

“My mom isn’t used to anyone talking back to her. She can be kind of scary sometimes. Amy never liked the way they treated Leah either, but she was too afraid to say anything.” He reached over and took the cigarette from me and put it out.

“Hey. I wasn’t finished.”

“You don’t need that.” He wrapped his strong arms around me from behind and placed his chin on my shoulder. “Thank you for sticking up for Leah.”

“Even though it pissed your mom off?”

“Yeah. It’s about time someone told her. I’ve tried so many times, but she would always just put her hand up and cut me off.”

Leah walked outside and looked at me and Ben.
What’s wrong?
she signed.

Nothing. We’re just talking. Are you ready to go?

I was ready before we even got here.

Ben and I broke out into laughter. We walked back into the house and said our goodbyes to everyone. Ben’s dad gave me a light hug while his mom wouldn’t even look at me. Ben dropped Leah off at home before driving me back to my house. I invited him in for a beer and we sat at the kitchen table while he taught me some basic sign language.

“I better get going,” he said as he got up from the table.

“Okay. Thank you for teaching me some sign language.”

He smiled as he leaned over and brushed his lips against mine. Our kiss started out soft but soon it erupted into a passionate one. His hands found their way under my shirt and he moved them up and down my bare back. He felt so good and I was turned on. So turned on that I lifted my shirt over my head and stood there in my black push-up bra. He gasped as he stared at my cleavage and then kissed me again. His tongue glided around my neck and the wetness that I felt below was more than ever. He picked me up and carried me over to the couch, where he laid me down and climbed on top of me. We stared into each other’s eyes before his lips trailed down the front of my neck and to my chest. We didn’t say a word to each other. I think we were too scared to. The hardness of his erection pulsated through the fabric of his jeans as he moved it back and forth against my aching clit. His hand pushed my bra cup to the side as he groped and kneaded my bare breast. He felt so good and I was so turned on. His warm lips made their way around my erect nipple while my hand unbuttoned his jeans.

“Paisley,” he whispered.

“Ben.”

I unzipped his jeans and placed my hand down his pants, feeling his hard cock and the wetness that surrounded the tip. He moaned and threw his head back as I stroked him up and down. He was well gifted in the goods department. He was long and thick and well shaven. When his hand traveled down the front of my pants, I couldn’t see anything but my husband. I suddenly broke our kiss and pushed Ben off of me.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I shouldn’t have...Oh my God, I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I jumped up and slipped my shirt over my head.

He sat there and stared at me. “It’s fine. I’m sorry,” he said as he buttoned his jeans.

“You need to go, Ben, right now!”

“Paisley.”

“NO! Please just leave. Leave me alone. What the hell was I thinking?”

He walked over to me and attempted to place his arms around me. I immediately backed away.

“This isn’t going to work. I’m sorry.”

“Paisley, don’t do this. Everything will be okay. I promise,” he pleaded.

“No, it won’t. Nothing will ever be okay for me. There’s too much pain and I can’t deal with it. Please just go and don’t call me. I’ll call you when I’m ready. I’m so sorry,” I said with tears in my eyes.

“If that’s how you truly feel, then fine. I won’t bother you again.” He shook his head at me and, with a look of hurt and disappointment, he walked out the door.

I ran to my purse and grabbed my cigarettes and went out to the garage, shutting the door before Romeo could follow me out.

Ben

I
was still trying to wrap my head around what happened. I loved her and I couldn’t bear to leave her like that, but I had no choice. She made it very clear that she wanted me to leave and to leave her alone. Sadness and disappointment tore through me as I tried to fall asleep. I kept my phone close to my side with the hopes that she’d either call or text me.