Secrets of a Side Bitch 2 (6 page)

“Hello?”

I was standing in the mirror in the dressing room taking singles from various places on my body and putting them
inside of my Michael Kors book bag that I planned to lock inside of my locker.

After checking my
cell phone and seeing that I missed five of Rae’s call, I decided to call her back.

Things had been great for the past few days.
Rae was staying in a hotel and begging me to let her come back home. I wasn’t budging. I felt the best that I had felt in years. I felt free and like I could do what the fuck I wanted to. I was given the space to realize that I didn’t want Rae anymore.

She
’d given me the best excuse to use to leave this relationship when she hit me.

She had the nerve to greet me
like nothing was wrong. “Hey, baby.”

Instantly, my eyes rolled into the back of my head as I fixed my hair in the
full length mirror.

“What
’s up, Rae? I’m at work,” I spoke dryly.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what?”

“Like you don
’t give a fuck about me anymore.”

“I give a fuck
about you.”

“Then let me come back home.”

“Now
that
is what I don’t give a fuck about.”

After smacking her lips and sighing dramatically, Rae swore, “I am so sorry, baby. I can
’t believe I put my hands on you.”

“Rae, I have to go…”

I could hear her tears beginning to flow as she replied, “Please forgive me, baby…”

“I have to go, Rae.”
I ended the call before she could say anything else, threw my iPhone in my locker, along with my tips, and locked the combination lock.

Though it was a Tuesday night, the club was still thick with niggas, bitches, money, and smoke. I
’d just gotten off of the stage, so I was working the crowd when I spotted the same guy that I chatted it up with last week that got me socked in the eye.

Rae punched me because I had the nerve to talk to another man in her face. She can act
like it was because I was talking about leaving her, but I knew better.

For
the first time in our relationship, it appeared as if I was into somebody else. And for the first time in our relationship, she hit me. Two plus two equals a jealous bitch.

I could still feel the soreness around my eye
. Thankfully, no remnants of the black eye could be seen through a hell of a lot of concealer and Mac Studio Fix.

“Hey you.”

When Chance looked up at me, it took him a minute to recognize me.

“Gia,” I reminded him.

“Oh, yea! What’s up, girl? You here to drink up some more of my liquor?”
As I took it upon myself to rest my butt in the only other seat at his table, I replied jokingly, “Oh, you’re too kind! Thanks for offering.”

Everything was a blur. After two bottles of Don Julio, I could barely see straight as me and Gia left the truck stop.

I thought that putting food on my stomach would sober me up. But as I slid into the passenger seat of her 300, I fought the urge to throw up. Gia was pretty fucked up too. I could feel the car swerving a little bit as she jumped on the e-way.

“You need me to drive?”

She looked at me like I was out of my mind. “Yea right. I’m not trying to die tonight.” Then she giggled.

Gia was fine as hell. That
’s all I thought about all night as I let her drink up most of my gawd damn liquor. I hadn’t chilled with a female in a long time. Since killing Aeysha, most of my time had been consumed with laying low and figuring out how I was going to live.

Not only was Gia gorgeous, but she had good conversation. Unfortunately, I was always so drunk when I talked to her that I told her all of my business. Surprisingly, after finding out how broke, homeless, and fucked up I was, she kept talking to me and chilled with
me even longer this time around. That night, she drank for fun, but I was drinking out of anger. I enjoyed Gia’s company, but thoughts of Simone were playing over and over again in my mind like a movie. Every time I remembered her smiling and flirting with me, I took a shot. Every time I thought about her convincing me how Aeysha needed to be killed, I took a shot. Every time I remembered hearing Aeysha’s pregnant and blood curdling screams, I took a shot. I wondered if her baby lived, and I took a double shot.

I
was fucked up.

“We
’re closer to my crib than yours. I am barely making it,” Gia confessed while fighting hard to keep the car from swerving into the next lane.

“I told you I could drive.”

“And I said I wanted to live. Do you have to go home tonight?”

“To the motel?
Hell naw.”

We both laughed.

“Cool. We’re going to my crib then.”

That didn
’t sound bad at all. I was so ready to sleep in a bed with a soft mattress. Hell, she could have put me on the couch for all I gave a fuck. It would have been better than that bullshit bed that I had been sleeping in for two weeks.

However, when we got to her crib on the
Southwest side, she didn’t make me sleep on the couch. She led me through the house by the hand, but we both kept each other from falling over our drunken feet. It was six in the morning. The sun was coming up. So once she got in the bedroom, I was able to peep a few pictures of her and another nigga... or a chick… I couldn’t really tell since I was so wasted. But then she drew the curtains that totally blocked out the sun.

She threw me off when
she began to take her clothes off. I figured she was too drunk to realize that she was about to sleep in her underwear next to a complete stranger.

When I
lay down fully dressed, she shrieked. “Uh huh! Get out of my bed in them clothes you been keeping in that nasty ass motel.”

I laughed. “Damn, it
’s like that?”

“Yup,” she said with a laugh. “Take them clothes off.”

As I stripped, I told her, “I can sleep on the couch, you know.”

“Boy, you already been sleeping in a motel.
Enjoy this bed while you can.”

I was all too prepared to
go to sleep. I wasn’t even trying to push up on shorty. But as soon as we lay down, she spooned with me. She laid across my chest and wrapped her leg around mine. Instantly, my dick got hard and lay up against her leg.

With a flirtatious giggle, she asked,
“Damn. That’s all you?”

I
matched her giggle. “What’s that mean?”

In response, she took her hand
and rubbed it up and down my dick.

“Gawd damn,” slipped from her mouth.

She was drunk. I knew it. But I also knew that I had never had anyone as beautiful as she was ever this close to me. I didn’t fight her. I let the liquor persuade her to do whatever she wanted to do to me.

Suddenly, my dick was her playground. It wasn
’t even about me. She saw the dick and just wanted it. She jagged it and played with it like it was a new toy. I just lay there trying to sober up enough to fuck her if that’s what she wanted.

For the second time in twenty-four hours, a
bad ass chick was trying to feel my dick. I was actually feeling this chick, though. I hadn’t had pussy in forever, so when Gia went from playing with it to sucking it, I fought the urge to bust too quickly in her mouth.

I sat on my bed in my condo trying to stop the tears.

I stared
in disbelief at the email from Tre displayed in the Gmail app in my iPhone. He’d told me time and time again that he loved his wife. He told me time and time again that he would never be with me. Our time had ended, and I was now with somebody that loved me. But reading the words that day still hurt because behind the extensions, behind the new body, behind my relationship with Omari, I knew he was right.

In response to my
hateful email that I sent him yesterday, Tre told me that I would never be anything more than a desperate side bitch. He told me that his wife’s beauty outshined mine beyond anything that my small brain could ever fathom. He said that I was so incompetent of having anything of my own that I wasn’t even raising my own baby. He said that I probably only now had my own man because the woman that he really loved was dead.

I sat in the middle of my bed with tears streaming
down my face, flowing onto my neck, and falling onto my chest. I was paralyzed with the heart wrenching realization that, even though Tre wasn’t even inside of my relationship to know the difference, he was right.

I had gone such lengths to get a man that still had his mind on the love of his life. He
was still wrapped up in the thought of her, especially since her likeness lived with us every day, twenty-four seven. I still had little significance. There was nothing tying us together. No love. No history. Just commitment that I borrowed off of his woman’s dead body.

I quickly wiped my face when I heard Omari
’s keys in the door. He often spent some nights at my condo since it was downtown. It felt like he was getting away from the city and the block when he was at my place. Of course, Dahlia was with him. I could hear her cooing as he made his way into the condo.

“Babe?”

“I’m back here.”

I quickly left the bed and moved
to the mirror to ensure that my face didn’t show evidence of my tears. But no matter how much I blotted the dreariness away with press powder and wiped it away with blush and lip-gloss, Omari could see that something wasn’t right.

“Hey, baby.” I greeted him in the middle of the floor. After setting Dahlia
’s car seat down on the bed, he hugged me and kissed me softly on the lips.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Again, t
ears began to form in my eyes uncontrollably. No matter how much I wanted to front and act like this was my man that loved me unconditionally, I knew damn well that his love came with an expensive price that I paid just to end up still feeling worthless and insignificant.

“I
’m pregnant.”

Those words emerged from my lips so effortless
ly that it scared me. I feared myself. I feared the lengths that I would go to get rid of this feeling of not being good enough.

I knew that he wouldn
’t be happy about it. Dahlia was only three months, and he had already told me that we couldn’t have kids for some years. But I needed that validity. I needed that importance. I needed that connection with him that gave me the same level of significance as Aeysha and Dahlia.

It was time for me to create that history and life with him that
would take away this insecure feeling. I was always a “by any means necessary” kind of bitch, and I was not going to stop until I was Aeysha and Erica.

I only hoped that now that he thought I was pregnant, he would
ejaculate into me freely and I would eventually really be pregnant. I saw how he changed when Aeysha got pregnant. I saw how his devotion for family changed how he loved her, and I knew that it would be the same for me.

“You’re what?”

I
’d heard Simone loud and clear, but I just wanted to be sure that this bullshit was really happening.

“I
’m pregnant,” she told me with sadness. “I know you’re upset. I know you don’t want any more kids right now, baby. But I’m pregnant. I took a test at work.”

This was bad timing
; real bad fucking timing. My mind wasn’t on other kids right now. Between the block and Dahlia, I had a hard enough time focusing on Simone.

“How many weeks are you?”

“Almost six.”

I exhaled as I felt a little relief. There was still time to take care of this.

But, it was as if Simone read the expression in my face. She saw what was coming next and burst into tears.

“You want me to
get a fucking abortion?!”
Immediately, I went to her and wrapped my arms around her. She cried into my chest as I attempted to make her feel better. “Baby, that’s not what I said.”

“That
’s what you were going to say!”

“It wasn
’t,” I lied. “I wasn’t going to say that.”

“You
’re not happy!”

“Of course, I
’m not. But you aren’t either.”

“Because I know you don
’t want this.”

“But
it’s here. So it is what it is,” I said swallowing the lump in my throat.

We stood in the middle of the floor with me holding her tightly. I felt sorry for Simone. I knew that being with me was a lot to handle. Hell, half of the reason why I was lacking on starting a family with her was because my last attempt at starting one left me so heartbroken. I had a guard up
; a major one. Just hearing her say that she was pregnant took me to a dark place. I didn’t feel the joy that I did when me and Aeysha sat on our bed crying tears of celebration when she told me the same thing. I felt tears, but they were of sorrow that Aeysha never got the chance to see our daughter. They were tears of guilt because I wondered if Aeysha would be mad that I was having another baby already.

I didn
’t even know how Simone could be pregnant. No, we didn’t use condoms. But I pulled out. My babies either got swallowed or died on the sheets.

But
there had been so many drunk and sleepy sex sessions that there was no telling.

I giggled, trying to lighten the mood. “Hey. Now you and Erica can be pregnant toget
her.”

I could hear Simone smacking her lips and
softly growling as she pulled away from my embrace. I caught her roll her eyes as she moved to the window to wipe her face.

“What
’s that about?”
Reluctantly, she turned, leaning against the window and looking at me. She folded her arms across her chest. As she stood there with distress all over her face, I couldn’t help but admire her body. Fake or not, the shots had done her wonders. That ass was right and so were her hips.

That’s p
robably how I got her knocked up in the first place.

“I heard Tre talking shit while we were there.”

“When?”

“When I
was on my way to the bathroom. I heard him on the phone with somebody. He was saying how his ghetto ass dope dealing brother-in-law was in his crib and how he needed to get back in the living room before some shit came up missing.”

“What
?!” That shit pissed me the fuck off. There was no way that Tre should have known my life. Husband or not, Erica shouldn’t have felt comfortable telling him no shit like that. “Why would she tell him that I’m hustling?”

Again, Simone rolled her eyes in frustration and came towards me.

I continued to fuss as she put her arms around me. “I don’t give a fuck if that’s her husband. I don’t know that nigga, so he shouldn’t know my life. And what the fuck did she tell him to make him think I would take some shit?”

“I don
’t know,” Simone said as she hugged me tight. “But fuck them. You don’t need them anyway. Me and Dahlia have been your family way more than they have. Fuck them.”