Secrets of a Side Bitch 2 (4 page)

By five o’clock the next morning, I definitely paid for ignoring Rae’s attempts to get my attention.

She yelled and banged her hands against the steering wheel as she drove at eighty miles an hour down
94-West. “You treat me like shit, and I don’t like it! Respect me, man!”

We were in a heated discussion as we rode home in her 2013 blacked out Tahoe.

“What the fuck do you want me to do, Rae?! I’m a stripper! It’s my job to talk to people and get money. Not talk to yo’ ass all night!”

“But you can talk to that nigga all night
?!”

“What nigga
?!”

I was playing dumb, but I knew
who she was talking about. She was talking about Chance. Without even thinking, I’d spent nearly two hours at his table. We drank and talked shit. It wasn’t on purpose. Somehow, I was just drawn into him. Chance had such an interesting story. I’m sure the Don Julio was to blame for his openness, but he was so up front with how broke he was and that he was currently homeless and living out of a motel.

He said that he
’d just moved to Chicago from Minnesota. He’d bought two bricks to flip and his roommate robbed him. He grew up as a ward of the state. Therefore, he didn’t have any family to run to when he was forced to leave Minnesota for the same reasons.

That
’s a story you don’t hear every day. In a strip club, men give you the same story; crazy baby mama, nagging wife, rich dope boy, or rap star dreams. I was so drawn into the difference in this young cutie that I regretfully forgot that my “security” was watching me.

“You know what nigga I
’m talking about! Don’t play with me!” Rae was so angry that she was gritting her teeth while giving me her full attention, not the road. The truck began to swerve out of our lane.

“Rae, pay attention to the road!”

She ignored me, continuing to glare at me with fire in her eyes. She was so upset that her pale skin was turning red. “Who is he?!”

“I don
’t know him!”

“WHO THE FUCK IS HE
?!”

The driver of the car passing us on our left blew the horn because Rae damn near collided with him. She finally took control of the steering wheel and gave the road
her full attention.

“Are you seriously arguing with me over a nigga at the club
?! You’ve got to be kidding me!” Tears were in my eyes. “I can’t do this shit no more!”

Officially
, I was done. There was no use in staying in this relationship any longer. I was unhappy, and Rae did nothing to make it any better. Rae was too fucking delusional. No matter what, we would consistently end up in arguments like this because there was something wrong in her that I could not fix, nor was I willing to.

She had some serious mental issues that needed professional help
.

Rae saw my tears
, and she knew. She saw my surrender towards this relationship. At five in the morning, with the feeling of dollar bills still against my skin, with the stench of smoke still in my hair, I was so done with this relationship. Chance showed me that. I didn’t even know him. But as he sat there and told me that he was broke and homeless, I envied him. I was willing to give anything to be in his position, rather than feeling Rae’s burning brown eyes glaring at me from the corner like a pedophile. Though broke and homeless, Chance was free to change his life for the better, to move about life without somebody weighing him down.

Though far from broke or homeless, I didn
’t have those options because I felt chained to somebody.

As Rae got
off of the expressway and went west on Eighty-Seventh Street, I noticed that she hadn’t responded to me. Suddenly, her hostility was out of the window. Suddenly, she was passive, not aggressive. That assured me even more that I was done. The way that she flipped so quickly showed me how she so pathetically needed me. She held onto this relationship so tight, not because she loved me or wanted to be my partner, but because she didn’t know how to be herself without me.

That was a dangerous situation that I no longer wanted to be a part of.

“Rae, we need some space.”

Usually I
just dealt with her instability because I felt sorry for her. But, finally, I felt sorry for myself.

“I
’m not happy. I haven’t been for a long time. I’m tired of arguing. I’m tired of explaining myself. I need some space.”

“Just like that?”

I met her eyes. When I saw that we both had tears slowly flowing down our beautiful feminine faces, I realized that we were two very confused and lost women that needed time apart to figure things out.

“Yes.
Just like that.”

Just as the words left my lips, Rae pulled up in front of our house on Princeton. I hopped out of the car before she could say
whatever it was that her tears were planning to say. I was tired, sleepy and very ready to sleep freely, not with my insecure girlfriend holding me in a bear hug all night.

“Can we talk about this?”

The way she begged made my skin crawl. I walked into the house wondering how truly confused she had to be to be a woman dressed like a man acting like such a pussy.

“No. I don
’t feel like talking, Rae. It’s five o’clock in the morning and I just want to get some sleep.” As I walked into the house and into the living room, I threw my duffle bag onto the floor. Then I told Rae, “Sleep on the couch.”

“What
?!”

She was behind me before I knew it
, grabbing my arms so tight that my bones crunched in her tight grip.

“Let me go!”

I fought to get away. She fought to keep me in her grasp. I began to swing as much as I could, which wasn’t much.

“You just gone leave me like this
?! It’s that easy?!”

“Let me go, Rae!”

“Is it somebody else? Who you fuckin’?!”

I couldn
’t believe this bitch. I looked at her like she was crazy as I fought to get out of her grip. “Let me go, bitch!”

“Who is he
?!”

It was
funny how Rae instantly assumed that this somebody else was a he.

Just to be
catty, I replied, “None of your fucking business! Now what?!”

Bam
!

Her fist made rapid and hard contact with my eye. I fell to my knees
, allowing a sharp cry to escape my lips as I held my eye with both hands. The punch hurt, but the fact that she hit me hurt much worse. I had never been hit before in my life, and for the first time to be with my live-in lesbian lover was further proof that my love life needed a renovation.

I could hear Rae apologizing
over and over again. I could hear her beginning to cry. I could feel her hovering over me, attempting to gently stand me up.

“Get the fuck the out!”

“Baby...”

“Get the fuck out
!! NOW!”

I don
’t know if she realized how bad she had just fucked up or if she was listening to my anger, but she walked away without another word or any further argument. As I held my throbbing and swelling eye, I watched her solemnly walk out of the living room and towards the front door. The closer she got to the door, the more weight left my shoulders.

As I heard the door open and close, it was amazing how
, even with indescribable pain in my face, I felt the freest I had felt in years.

“What is this bruise on her leg?”

Blood rushed from my head as I strapped myself into the passenger seat of Omari
’s car. While strapping Dahlia into her car seat in the back, Omari continued to question me. “Did you see this?”

I had. I noticed the bruise on Dahlia
’s leg that morning as I watched Omari bathe her in her tub. I logged a mental note not to smack her anymore.

“No, babe.
I hadn’t noticed. What kind of bruise?”

“I don
’t know. I can’t tell. Her little leg is just red and purple.” Suddenly, he was cooing all in Dahlia’s face. It was so hard for me to hide my repulsion. However, I hurried up and fixed my face after hearing him close the back door. Soon, he was climbing into the driver’s seat.

“I
’m gone have to ask Tiana about that shit.”

I played dumb.
“About what?”

“
That bruise on my baby’s leg!” His face was balled up with irritation as he backed out of the driveway. “She needs to watch her more carefully. I don’t play that shit when it comes to my baby.”

I slid my hand on his thigh.
“Baby, calm down. A toy probably hit her or something in her crib.”

Omari agreed as jealousy boiled in my stomach.

I couldn’t remember Omari ever being that upset about anything regarding me.

We were on our way to his sister
’s house in Indianapolis for dinner. I wasn’t about to nitpick and make the three hour drive unbearable.

However,
for the entire two hours and fifty-seven minutes that it took to get to Erica’s house, he talked about Dahlia. He groveled over how little and precious she was, how beautiful she was, how much she looked like Aeysha, yadda, yadda, yadda. He never mentioned how good I looked in my faux leather jogger suit. He never mentioned how good the Chanel No. 5 smelled on my skin. Compared to Dahlia, I wasn’t even in the fucking car.

I zoned out completely. I star
ed out of the window, putting all of my tension into biting the acrylic nail on my thumb. That feeling of being second best was nauseatingly sitting in the pit of my stomach.

As yet
another call from Chance flashed on my iPhone screen that was on silent, the tension became so much worse. Chance had been straight blowing my phone up since he got back to Chicago. I had to think of something fast to get him off of my tail. I couldn’t be attached to him in any way, shape, or form. I thought sending him to Minnesota would work, but he was even too stupid to flip a brick! Who runs through twenty-five grand with nothing to show for it?!

Urgh!

I couldn’t afford to give Chance anything more than what I owed him. I gave Omari the money he needed to set up the blocks on the South Side with Capone. He did give it back once money started to be made, but it was in my savings, which I was not about to touch. If I ever came up in the investigation of Aeysha’s murder, I needed that savings just in case I had to go on the run.

Besides, Chance and I had a deal.
I kept my end of the bargain. He wasn’t about to blackmail me because he was irresponsible with twenty-five thousand dollars. He could kiss my ass for all I cared.

I stared out of the window hypnotically
, randomly responding to Omari as if I was listening, until we pulled up in front of Erica and her husband’s home. It was beautiful and huge; more than six thousand square feet. Since it was a waterfront home, there was a deeded boat dock in the back that could clearly be seen from the driveway. This was a home easily worth more than a million dollars.

“Wow. This is nice.”

As he pulled into the driveway, Omari replied, “Yeah. Her husband bought this house after he got some gig out here. This motherfucka nice.”

This would be Omari
’s first time seeing his sister in about five years. He had never even met Erica’s husband that she married at a courthouse ceremony. Erica was Omari’s older sister and only sibling. They didn’t have the same father. They grew up on different sides of town, because she was raised by her dad, who had an estranged relationship with their mother. Due to constant fights between Omari’s mother and Erica’s father, Erica and Omari had been pretty estranged their whole life. It wasn’t until Aeysha was killed that Erica reached out to him. Now, they were attempting to mend their relationship, especially since Erica was about two months pregnant with Omari’s first niece or nephew.

Erica excitedly opened the door before we could even ring the doorbell.

I was immediately taken aback by her beauty. Her resemblance to Omari was uncanny. She had those signature gray eyes, and her physical appearance was just as stunning as Omari’s. She had such dark and gorgeous features that she looked exotic; almost Indian.

“Hi!
Oh my God! I’m so happy to see you!”

Despite Omari carrying Dahlia in her
car seat, Erica threw her arms around Omari.

Omari smiled happily. To give them room to embrace, I took Dahlia out his arms and he then was able to wrap his arms around his sister.

I couldn’t help but take in the ambiance of this crib! The twelve foot ceilings were overwhelming. The view of the lake out of the picture window was amazing.

Erica had
definitely married well.

“Let me get a picture,” I heard a familiar voice
from my past say in the distance. The familiarity hit me so hard that I damn near dropped Dahlia.

I looked up and locked eyes with Tre, who looked disgusted to see me.

Just looking at him brought back awful memories of last year. Looking him in the eyes so vividly reminded me of how I practically begged him to stay with me, to choose me over his wife. Chills ran down my spine as I remembered him literally fighting to get away from me and treating me like a disposable whore ever since.

“Baby, this is my brother, Omari
, and his girlfriend, Simone.” Erica was so happy that she didn’t even notice the tension in Tre’s face.

On cue, I smiled and reached out to shake his hand. “Hello, Tre.
Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” he barely said.
He instantly switched his focus to Omari. His tone totally changed when speaking to him. “What’s up, Omari? I heard so much about you, man!”

Again, no one noticed the tension. Omari was shaking it up with Tre and Erica was busy getting Dah
lia out of her chair. But me? Despite a cool exterior, I was boiling on the inside. So this was the wife?
This
was the bitch that was better than me? This was the bitch that had him treating me like yesterday’s trash?

Unlike my other significant other
s, Tre wasn’t into social media. He didn’t have a Facebook page, Instagram, or Twitter. Therefore, I wasn’t as able to find out about his wife or how she looked like I did Aeysha. He was always very discreet about his wife, never giving me any details about her. Like Omari, I had done a background check on Tre to find out where he lived. I knew that his wife’s name was Erica, but the fact that his wife and Omari’s sister were one in the same was blowing me away.

After meets and greets, we settled on an antique couch in a large living room. Again, I zoned out. I stared into the
sixty inch flat screen that silently played a rerun of Scandal. Like Olivia Pope, once again I was being the good little mistress that kept my relationship with my lover well hidden. I sat there and listened to Tre overtly boast about how beautiful his wife was, how much he loved her, and how perfect their life was. I knew that each word was said with the intention of stabbing me in my broken heart. I should have been able to sit there and do the same. I had finally won. I finally had my own man. But in that living room, I felt like a fifth wheel. The four of them – Tre, Erica, Omari, and Dahlia – they were family and connected by something that only Aeysha would have ever been able to fit in.

“So, Simone,” Erica said getting my attention as she sat besi
de me. Omari and Tre had started an intense conversation about the NBA playoffs, so I guess Erica was ready to pay me some attention. “This is my first baby, so I want to know from somebody with experience. I know you didn’t give birth to Dahlia, but how is it raising a baby?”

I bit my tongue. I swallowed the
disgust. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I smiled perfectly and said, “Oh I love it. It’s like she’s mine. The circumstances were unfortunate, but she is a good baby. I don’t have any children, so it’s like a blessing in disguise.”

Erica was saying some sappy shit about being pregnant for the first time and how when it was my turn I would love it, but I barely heard her. Tre
’s voice overrode hers. I could hear him excusing himself to the kitchen.

I waited a few minutes before asking Erica, “Where is your restroom?”

“Oh, I’ll show you! Come on.”

“No,” I insisted. “I can find my way. Talk to your brother.
It’s been a long time. Get as much in before Tre comes back and basketball takes over.”

She gave me quick directions to the restroom. I disappeared down a long hallway and followed the sounds of Tre, who was in the
kitchen stirring a pot of what smelled like spaghetti.

“So that
’s her?”

It
’s like Tre knew I was coming. The sound of my voice didn’t scare, move, or faze him.

He continued
stirring the pot while saying, “Get the fuck out, bitch.”

“It
’s like that?”

“It
’s been like that. Now get the fuck out, before I put yo’ ass out.”

He didn
’t scare me, not in his house anyway. I knew that he wouldn’t get loud or put his hands on me with his wife a few feet away.

With a smirk, I said, “She
’s pretty.”

“She
’s
beautiful
. Way more beautiful than you.” That’s when his eyes met mine. He looked at me with eyes that dismissed everything I thought I stood for. When I thought I existed, his eyes told me that I was nothing. “
Get. The. Fuck. Out
.”

His
threatening words didn’t scare me away, but the way he looked at me like I was the scum of the earth did.. His dismissive glare brought back familiar feelings that I’d worked damn hard to get rid of.