Seasons of Her Life (72 page)

“Tomorrow you're learning a new song or you're heading back you know where.”

Ruby chirped happily as she set about preparing a gourmet dinner for her new family.

Her world was right side up.

 

The following morning Ruby called her attorney. He came on the line and wished her a good morning. “Alan, I want you to hire the best private detective in the country. I don't care what it costs. I want him to find Dixie. Tell him to use all his operatives.”

“Ruby, I thought . . . are you sure you want to do this?”

“I'm sure. Someday I'll explain, not right now, though. And, Alan, that check Amber sent back after my parents died? Deposit it. It was important to Amber to send it. If we've held it too long, write to her and ask her to issue a new one. I have a feeling that check was a milestone for Amber, and it needs to be acknowledged. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to do it. I'll write her a letter myself as soon as I get some things straight in my mind.”

“Sounds like you're clearing away a lot of mental cobwebs.”

Ruby beamed. “Alan, that's exactly what I'm doing. Thanks for saying it out loud.”

“So, what's on your agenda?”

“First, I'm going to get myself duded to the nines and attend the fashion show of the year. A very old, dear friend personally invited me.”

“Good for you, Ruby. I'll do as you ask. By the way, I suggest you turn on your answering machine. Detectives call in their reports and you won't want to miss them.”

“Good point, Alan. Thanks for everything.” Ruby happily hung up the phone.

Ruby weighed her options as the day of Nola's private showing
drew near. Part of her wanted to go, to see Nola again. They could compare nervous breakdowns. She'd never seriously given a name to what she'd gone through the past year and a half. The doctor hadn't given it a name, either. A breakdown was so ... so unstable. When you had a breakdown, you lost control. Other people couldn't depend on you.

She had turned tail and run. She had thought it was to her credit that she went off, alone, to lick her wounds and not subject other people to her fits of melancholy and depression. Now she wasn't so sure. But at least she'd turned herself around and gotten her health back. She was almost the old Ruby again. Seeing Nola again might make her feel even
more
like the old Ruby. It was at that moment that she discovered she didn't
want
to be the old Ruby any longer. But she did want to see Nola.

Ruby settled herself at the kitchen table to pen off a note to Nola. She scribbled furiously and then read the letter several times to make sure it said exactly what she wanted it to say.

She had other unfinished business to attend to. She ripped a sheet of paper off the tablet.

The letter was short, instructing her attorneys to file a law suit against Calvin Santos for money he owed her. He had borrowed much over the years and had never paid any of it back, including the loans she had given to him for his campaign. She included copies of canceled checks and itemized lists. She also included two letters Calvin had sent, in which he mentioned his intention to repay the money he owed her.

“You deserve to be sued, Calvin,” Ruby muttered, “but maybe you don't deserve to be hit between the eyes.” She wrote a second note. On her seventh draft she decided it sounded right.

Ruby read the letter over twice before she scribbled her phone number and address at the bottom and again on the envelope.

Ruby called Federal Express and asked to have all three letters picked up. She gave directions to her house and listened while the operator said the letters would be delivered by ten o'clock the following morning.

More unfinished business. She called Martha. Her office said she was out on a site and offered to take a message. Ruby declined to leave one.

The last of her unfinished business. She called Andy. Ruby smiled, as she always did, when her son's voice came over the wire.

“How's the troops?” he chuckled.

“We're a team these days. Not one accident and Charlotte is learning a new song today.”

Andy whooped with laughter, not because of the bird but because of the lilt in his mother's voice. She was finally coming around. He wished he were with her so he could hug her.

“Listen, Andy, about that acreage. I have an idea. Can an access road be put in from the top of the hill to the back end of the property?”

“Don't see why not. Why?”

“Do you think you could come up this weekend and take a look? The Semolina brothers are working on the outbuildings. They should be done any day now. I've been thinking about building a larger animal shelter, one that can accommodate more animals, and a wildlife preserve of some kind. A small cottage for the caretaker. I mean caretakers, plural.”

“It'll cost you some bucks, Ma. You want to spring for a whole bunch or a little bunch?” He laughed.

“Whatever it takes. I'll ask Mr. Bidwell and Mikey to come by while you're here. They might have some ideas. I want it to be ... a ... ah, a sanctuary for them and the animals. Like this place is for me.”

“I hear you, Ma,” Andy said softly. “How about Saturday?” And will you make me a pineapple upside-down cake?“

“You bet. I might even throw in some whipped cream to top it off.”

“Now you're cooking. I'll see you Saturday.”

“Andy, do you have the time to take on a project like this?”

“Ma, I'll make the time. I'm in business for myself, remember? By the way, speaking of business, how's yours?”

Ruby threw back her head and laughed. “I have no idea. Okay, I guess.”

“No word on Dixie?”

“Nope, but I'm hiring a private detective to find her.”

“That's great. They're paging me, Ma. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Andy.”

“
You're
gonna love him, too,” she said to the snoozing animals.

While the animals slept, Ruby went through the file folder in which she kept the design Nola had given her so many years ago. Her eyes puddled up as memories engulfed her.

The past.

Two hours later Hattie Semolina was taking Ruby's measurements.

“Can you have it ready in a week?”

“Don't see why not,” Hattie muttered around the pins in her mouth.

“Is this going to be a creation?”

“Everything I sew is a creation,” Hattie said.

“Do you think the fabric is ... it has to be special. This is very important. It has to have a one-of-a-kind look,” Ruby said anxiously.

“It's going to be one of a kind. I'm only making one. Stand still, Mrs. Blue.”

That was all she was going to get from Hattie Semolina by way of assurance.

Ruby's hand was on the doorknob when Hattie said, “Miss Quantrell won't find fault with my sewing.”

“You know Nola?” Ruby said in amazement.

“I can read.” Hattie pointed to Nola's signature on the design.

Ruby smiled. Nola's design was in good hands. She was never more sure of anything in her life.

 

Ruby climbed out of bed. Today was the day she was driving into New York. She'd made reservations at the Plaza. She would change into Nola's creation after she showered and put on fresh makeup. She wanted to look as good as she could when she saw Nola again. God, she was excited.

She moved faster than usual. She walked the dogs, fed them, and ate some breakfast. She dressed in a pair of slacks and a pullover sweater. She looked good enough to walk through the lobby of the Plaza. She'd even hired a limo to take her from the hotel to the show.

Promptly at two o'clock, Ruby entered the showroom on Seventh Avenue. She marched to the front row of seats where Nola had said she was to sit. A young man pointed to the middle of the row and whispered, “Nola said she wants you in her direct line of vision. I don't know who's prettier, you or the dress,” he said, his eyes full of admiration. Damn, she felt good.

Ruby looked around. She knew diddly-squat about the fashion business, but if this turnout for Nola was any indication of success, then Nola was a success.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Nola Quantrell,” the young man said to the audience. Everyone clapped, Ruby the loudest.

And there she was, done up in feathers and combs, her dress made from something that looked like handkerchiefs all sewed together at crazy angles. She looked wonderful, Ruby thought.

The show moved swiftly, with Nola introducing each outfit. Ruby risked a look around. The buyers were all scribbling furiously. That had to be good; they were going to buy. She looked up and gave Nola a jaunty thumbs-up, which Nola returned.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, my last design. I was going to show you something else entirely until . . . until the beginning of the show when I ... bear with me a minute, ladies and gentlemen.” Ruby frowned, as Nola walked off the stage. Was something wrong?

The touch on her arm was feather-light. “Come with me, Ruby,” Nola said quietly. “I can't believe you saved . . . God, Ruby, I'm going to bawl right here any minute.”

“Like hell you are,” Ruby said, following Nola to the back of the makeshift stage.

Her arm around Ruby's shoulders, Nola led her to the center of the stage. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Ruby Blue. For those of you who don't know Ruby Blue, let me tell you she is half of Mrs. Sugar, the famous cookie maker.” She had the audience's attention.

“Years ago, when I only dreamed about being a designer, I met Ruby Blue. Of course, she was Ruby Connors in those days. I worked hard, but I couldn't make it. I found myself in dire straits and Ruby . . . Ruby gave me all the money she had for me to get back home. I couldn't just take her money, so she told me to sign a design I'd
given
her. She said . . . she said she knew one day I'd be a famous designer. She believed in me when no one else did. And here she is, ladies and gentlemen, in that same dress I designed more years ago than I care to remember. What I do remember saying is that if she ever had it made up to be sure and use blue material.” Then Nola whispered, “Strut, Ruby, around and around, and when you come to a stop, cross your ankles.”

Shaking and trembling, Ruby strutted.

The audience clapped loud and long as Ruby took up her stance next to Nola. The buyers' hands went in the air, a sign they wanted to purchase the dress Ruby was wearing. Nola smiled at Ruby before she said, “Sorry, this is not for sale. It's the only one-of-a-kind Nola Quantrell design in the world, and this lady, this friend, deserves the best I have to give. Thank you all for coming today.”

Nola pushed and shoved Ruby free of the models and the people clamoring backstage. “C'mon, we're getting out of here. Other people can handle all this. It's just you and me, kiddo, so let's move. We have a lot of catching-up to do. A lot of I'm sorry to get out of the way. Jesus, Ruby, I cannot . . . I will never forgot . . . how in the hell . . . God, I'm glad to see you.”

In the middle of Seventh Avenue, with the vendors moving their wares while delivery trucks inched their way around them, Ruby and Nola hugged one another, tears streaming down their cheeks.

“I think this is the second best day of my life,” Nola said tearfully.

“My second best day, too,” Ruby said.

Neither woman asked the other what
the
best day was. It simply wasn't important.

 

In Nola's apartment, over glasses of wine, the two women curled up on the floor on piles of cushions. “Tell me everything,” Nola said. “I wasn't sure you'd come. I prayed, Ruby, that you would.”

“I wasn't going to at first. I mean, part of me wanted to come, but I don't think I would have. I was a different person then. I expected too much, couldn't accept other people for their weaknesses as well as their strengths. They could never be brave enough, strong enough, fair enough, good enough. They could never do enough to prove they really loved me. It's all mixed up, but I'm sorting it out. Part of it, I know, stems from my childhood and my parents, and I'm working on that, too. It seems,” Ruby said, “my only happiness, my only peaceful times, my only contented times, are when I'm doing something for other people. It's when I start insisting other people do things for me that I screw up. That's when I start making demands on everyone to live up to
my
expectations. I want the world to love me my way, and that's not always possible.

“What made me figure it all out was ... I got these pets that used to belong to someone else and they didn't . . . they didn't like me. God, I tried so hard to make them like me. I let them shit all over the house, I cooked special food for them, and gave them the best of everything, and still they wouldn't have anything to do with me. I needed someone to ... love me. And I blamed them when they couldn't. I was blind to the fact that they were frightened.... That was when I took a good long look at myself. Soul-searching is not an easy thing to do. The only times I didn't screw up was when I was giving without expecting anything back. I got such . . . Lord, I can't describe the feelings . . . I just felt good that I was able to make someone happy. That's why I loved giving to the orphans at your parents' house. In fact, I thought
your
parents were perfect. And always in the back of my mind was the thought that I might end up completely unloved and unloving, like
my
parents. I couldn't let go, it was always there. When you seemed to turn on your parents I ... I just couldn't understand. But now I'd like us to be friends, Nola. I mean real friends, like we used to be. If we start over, I think we can do it. If you're willing, that is.” Nola nodded, her eyes glistening. Ruby beamed from ear to ear. “Now, tell me about Nola Quantrell.”