Scorch (5 page)

But since breaking up with Tori, Vin hadn’t felt as welcome as he once had.

Tori’s smile at a table of patrons fell away to a neutral, “Hi Vin,” as she looked up and saw him. She wore a tight low-cut top over tight jeans tucked into cowboy boots, accentuating her rocking sweet bod. It was all part of the hustle for tips, same as the quick smiles and flirty banter and excellent service. He didn’t begrudge her for playing the game to win. That was her job and his came with its own drawbacks.

Still, it was one more reason he had never felt secure in her or their marriage.

Maybe he wasn’t capable of feeling secure. It was probably true, since he couldn’t think of a time when he hadn’t expected a woman to eventually leave him or a job to fall through or a vehicle to break down. He’d read something once about self-fulfilling prophecies, that if he expected something, especially if it was bad, he would unconsciously make it happen.

Transience was the message that was consistently delivered to him, though. He hadn’t
made
Jacqui change her mind about moving.

Had he? There was a part of him that had been wishing she wasn’t moving away. Why?

He gave his head a shake. He wasn’t here to psychoanalyze why or how he was homeless
again
. He was cooling off and figuring out a new game plan.

He went to where some of the crew were playing pool, exchanged greetings and took up a stool next to Hugh’s son, Liam.

Liam had cleared rookie training a few years ago, then spent the last couple of years fighting fires in Australia, exercising a desire that Vin saw in a lot of young men. Liam wanted to make his own mark, rather than follow in his father’s footsteps.

Granted, Vin hadn’t wanted to be a grocery buyer like his own father, but having lost his old man before he got to know him, he didn’t chafe at the idea of turning out like the man who’d made him. Vin always wanted to point out what an arrogant move it was to thumb your nose at your dad and bugger off so you could “find” yourself.

Of course, he was just in that frame of mood tonight. Surly and critical. He would have been more comfortable sitting down with Ace Clark, one of the smokejumpers who’d been with the station for a few seasons now, but had gone with Sam into the park for a few days.

Both Liam and Ace were good for sarcastic jabs that would lighten his mood, but Liam had grown up here in Glacier Creek. Ace was more like Vin. He came from foster care, not that they’d had any heart-to-hearts about it, but silent understanding went a long way. Ace wouldn’t commiserate that life was unfair or try to solve Vin’s problem. He’d say, “That sucks,” and would fully expect Vin to do what he would do, pick himself up and move on.

Tori brought him a beer, he asked for a burger, and she ran him a tab without asking so they didn’t have that “Do I tip my ex?” awkwardness. He would add twenty percent when she rang it through on his credit card and they would get through this evening barely exchanging more than what they’d already said.

Except she was an in-your-face reminder that he’d already lost a house to a woman. Fuck, he was mad. What did a guy have to do?

“Did I hear Jacqui is coming back?” Liam asked.

Vin snorted. “Gotta love the smoke-eater grapevine. Yeah. I picked her up at the airport this morning. She got her job back this afternoon.”

Liam paused in raising his beer to his lips. “I meant I’d heard she was coming back to empty her house and sell it to you. But she’s
back
back? Staying?”

“Apparently.” Vin muttered the word into the foam in his mug, taking a long, cold draw, irritated with himself for revealing what was chewing his insides.

The men playing pool glanced over and made a few remarks about how it would be good to have her in the office again and how hard it must be for her to come back. A somber stillness went over the pool table as everyone thought of Russ.

“I guess that puts you out of a place to live,” one of the men said to Vin.

“Yeah. Let me know if you hear of something,” Vin said, doing his best to make it sound casual, not devastating.

Someone at the other table tossed out some trash talk to one of the men about his ability to set up a shot. It deflected the attention from Vin and got the men playing again, allowing Vin to sink back into brooding.

His phone buzzed with a text as he was eating his burger. He glanced at it long enough to see that Jacqui wanted to talk. He tucked the phone away and ate, then took a turn shooting pool. He wasn’t trying to be an asshole, but he wasn’t ready to get into it with her. There was no point.

A few more of their crew arrived from snowshoeing all day and he settled in to BS for the rest of the evening.

*

“Hello?” Russ’s sister’s
voice sounded hesitant when she answered Jacqui’s call.

“Roni? It’s me. Jacqui.”

“Oh, my God,” Rhonda said on an audible exhale. “I saw Russ’s name on the call display… I figured even if it was Vin, it had to be bad news.”

PTSD. Jacqui had a version of it herself, thinking every fire truck siren was a death knell, which was bewildering because there hadn’t been any sirens going off when she got the news about Russ. All the same, her mind associated the sound with tragic loss. She always worried for the unknown firefighters called to duty.

“You’re calling from the house!” Roni said with belated surprise. “You’re here. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I could have picked you up from the airport.”

“Vin did. It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. He wasn’t answering her texts. That hurt.

All of her hurt. She’d had to enter this empty house alone.

Walking through it, she had barely recognized parts of it. Vin had done an amazing job with finishing the basement and the powder room off the kitchen. The cabinets in the mudroom were hung and the custom console for the TV was perfect. She had known he had been dedicating his time to finishing the house, anticipating it would be his, but she hadn’t given that one single thought as she’d talked to Sam and waited for
Vin
to understand how great it was that
she
was staying in Glacier Creek after all.

“I just thought I should let you know I’m here and…” Misgivings hit, but they were all about Vin, not about her bigger decision. “Well, all that stuff I said in my email about moving to Florida? I’m actually going back to work at the base.”

A beat of stunned silence, then, “That’s great. Are you sure about working
there
?”

“I always loved my job. You know that.”

“You loved Russ.” Rhonda teased.

Jacqui bit back a pained sigh. “And my job.”

“Won’t it be hard, working for the new guy? What’s he like? Did you meet him?” Her query went beyond the interest in a newcomer that all small towns had. This was the man who’d taken over her brother’s job.

“He seems fine.” Jacqui was the veteran in this case and Sam the rookie. She didn’t expect much pushback on how she did things. “I’m more concerned about—”

She cut herself off, suddenly not wanting to talk about Vin. She and Roni were really close, but what Vin had told her about being a foster kid, well, that felt private.

God, she felt like a jerk, not thinking about how this affected him.

“What?” Roni prompted.

“People in general.” Jacqui prevaricated. Pressure built behind her eyes as a hard truth came out. “I know the attention will die down eventually, but everyone used to tease me about how much I loved my husband. Grief is private, though. I just worry that the next few weeks will be…a lot.”

“It is private, but we all miss him, Jac. It’s not about intruding. It’s about not being alone with our own sadness.”

Oh, damn. Roni wasn’t trying to make her feel guilty, but Jacqui instantly felt culpable. Self-centered.

Running away had been self-preservation, but also selfish. Everyone had lost Russ, not just her. Maybe she should have reached out more to her friends and family here since it happened, rather than trying so hard to fend people off from reaching out to her.

“Is that why you left?” Roni asked. “No privacy?”

“
Yes
.” It seemed churlish now, but at the time she had felt justified in throwing a few things in a suitcase, handing Vin the keys, and asking him to drop her at the airport. “I felt like the whole town thought they had a stake in my marriage. Loads of people knew we were trying for a baby, but did everyone need to know I got my period? Was I supposed to put something in the obit column so they could all come by with a box of tampons and condole over
that
?”

Another beat of dumbfounded silence, then Roni sputtered, “Well,
and
chocolate.”

“
Right
?”

They both released a long, healthy peal of laughter that felt really good. The wetness on Jacqui’s lashes was clean of salt and sting, washing away a lot of bitterness.

She took a big inhale and released it, feeling lighter. “I missed you, Roni.”

“I missed you, too. Come for dinner this week. No, wait. I’m still finishing end of quarter at the bank. What about next Thursday? Mom and Dad are coming. They’ll want to see you.”

“I was going to run out to see them this weekend, but that would work better. It would give me time to settle in again. Thanks. I’ll see you all then.”

She hung up and felt brighter, like she’d found a light switch and could see a little further in the gloomy, cobweb infested basement she’d fallen into. Not much, but a few more feet. Somehow she’d find the stairs.

She still didn’t know what to do about Vin, though. He wasn’t the most forthcoming man, but he’d had to open up about his marriage when they had talked about his buying this house. He had sunk his savings into the home he’d bought with Tori, but neither of them had been in a position to buy out the other when they separated. They were selling to get their money out, which would cost them both a big bite to fees.

That sale was supposed to finalize soon, which was why Jacqui had come home. Vin would have his down payment shortly and she had wanted to be ready to vacate when he was.

That had been the plan and they had agreed to a private sale, to avoid yet more fees for both of them. It was more of a gentleman’s agreement at the moment, but Jacqui felt morally bound to go through with it.

Plopping onto the couch, she flicked on the TV and draped a blanket over her knees, then looked at the vaulted ceiling, then to the curtains she’d picked out so carefully to frame the window that, in daylight, looked onto the forested mountains. That corner over there was where she had thought the playpen would sit so she could keep an eye on the baby while she was cooking.

A whimper escaped her.

Muttley’s nails clicked on the tile through the kitchen from the back door, then silenced into muted pads as he came across the carpet and set his head on her knee.

“Don’t tell Dad,” she said, exactly as she always had when Russ was alive. She let Mutt up on the sofa and stretched out beside him.

*

Vin didn’t want
to creep through the house, gathering his things while Jacqui slept, so he returned at eight. She was asleep anyway, on her side on the sofa, one arm draped over Muttley. She was still wearing his plaid shirt like a jacket.

It was such a female thing to do, stealing a man’s clothes, but he found he didn’t mind. He should, but he would easily walk out of here without it if she wanted to keep it, even though it was one of his favorites. For some reason, he felt really protective of her. Maybe because of all those long talks. Maybe because he hadn’t been able to save her husband.

Maybe because she was just a really nice, kind person who shouldn’t be living the kind of shitty-deal circumstance he knew how to cope with, but that had put her at such a loss. Losing her mom a few years ago was bad enough. Why did she have to deal with this, too?

Muttley quirked an eyebrow, not even lifting his head, speaking clearly in dog.
This happened and I’m not stirring a muscle in case she notices and changes her mind
.

Vin reached for the remote to turn off the TV, noted the dozen crushed tissues on the coffee table, and his heart sank even further.