Authors: Tawnya Jenkins
Chloe
I wake up screaming again, I thought the nightmares had disappeared but apparently not. When I open my eyes and look around, the room is dark and Katie is missing. She couldn’t still be at the club, could she? I glance at the clock on my phone, 1:45am. Hmm…strange, I can’t exactly call and check on her. I don’t even have her number. I’m sure she’s fine, she’s an adult, and she probably went home with that Brian guy.
I lay back down and close my eyes, I hate nightmares. It’s always the same one, it’s dark and I’m being chased. I don’t have to guess who the man chasing me is, it’s the same person every time. I can still remember his hateful laugh, I can remember the way his hands felt and the musky scent of his cologne. I mentally force the thoughts to go away and attempt to drift back to sleep.
The next week flies by, people have been trickling in and the campus is filling up. I’ve been running every day. Katie has established a pattern of her own, she frequents the club every night and sleeps til noon. I’m happy she has been so preoccupied that she hasn’t bothered to become besties anymore.
I have also traded in my pink comforter for a black and white floral pattern. There are still specs of hot pink here and there but it’s not nearly as bright. I’ve given up my Susie Sunshine routine already and decided to just be myself, well mostly myself. I am still keeping my inner demons in check, but that’s mainly for my own benefit rather than anyone else’s. School starts tomorrow and I’m nervous but excited. I can’t wait to get my Law degree and start helping people, people like myself who didn’t get any.
I am on another of my morning runs and almost back to my dorm when I get that creepy feeling again, like someone is watching me. I know there are more people around now, but it still feels strange. It’s the third time this week I’ve felt like this and it makes me uneasy. I decide to pick up the pace and get back sooner rather than later. As I’m rounding the corner of my building, I turn around to glance behind me and run smack dab into a wall…oh wait, not a wall it’s much much worse.
“Well fancy
running
into you,” Travis smiles his pearly whites at me.
“Ha ha, very funny…I’m sorry. I should’ve watched where I was going, excuse me.” I reply rolling my eyes as I brush past him.
“You know, one of these days you’re going to be running to me, not away from me,” Travis says with a confident smirk.
I sigh, “Spare me the cheesy pickup lines, and keep dreaming,” I reply as I shut the door behind me. He didn’t attempt to get in the door, I just heard him laugh as he walked away. Once safely inside my room, it appeared a tornado had ran through it. Clothes were being flung from Katie’s closet and dresser into mass piles on the floor.
“Ugh! I have nothing to wear!” She huffs.
“Um…well what do you call all these stacks of clothes then?” I chuckle.
“Not funny Chloe, this is serious. The first day of school is the most important first impression you will ever make. I mean there could be sorority reps walking around, or my soon to husband…I have to be prepared for my future.” She replies with her head still in the closet.
“Of course, very serious situation here. What ever should we do? I know, let’s go to that mal I saw downtown!” I’m joking, but as soon as the words leave my mouth and I see Katie’s smile light up her face; I know she thought I was serious.
“Yes! Oh my gosh that would be perfect and amazing and oh my gosh you’re the best!” She shouts and throws her arms around me.
“Okay,” I sigh. “Let me take a quick shower and get cleaned up and we’ll go.” Damn me and my stupid sarcasm.
The drive to the mall is pretty monotonous, Katie rambles on and on about the various guys she met and how Travis has been asking about me. I mostly ignore her, except the few times I felt her comments warranted a response. The mall is surprisingly empty for a Sunday afternoon. You would think it would be packed with college kids like ourselves doing last minute wardrobe prep. After we grab a quick bite to eat at Subway, we turn the corner toward Macy’s and Katie squeals.
“Oh my gosh, look there’s Brian and Travis. Let’s go say Hi!” She hooks her arm through mine and drags me behind her as she shouts at them to get their attention.
“Hello ladies,” Brian says, looking directly at Katie.
“How awesome is it that you guys are here at this exact moment? It must be fate, you have to shop with us now. I mean what would fate say?” Katie bats her eyelashes.
“Well who are we to mess with fate, right Travis?” Brian smiles and nudges Travis with his elbow. Travis winks at me.
“I prefer to choose my own destiny thank you. You guys go ahead, I’ll find you later,” I say as I turn to away from them. I do not want to spend my Sunday with them.
“Running from me again blue eyes,” Travis says from behind me.
Ugh, this guy. Really? Whatever, I don’t care. I’m just going to keep walking, I’m not going to let him get to me.
“What are you so scared of?” Travis shouts, causing me to stop my retreat.
I turn around to find him staring at me, a look of humor in his eyes. Brian and Katie have already headed off in the opposite direction. I stand there frozen for a moment, staring into those sexy green eyes. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have him around, after all I have been feeling like I’m being watched lately. Shaking my head, I walk back toward him like a puppy with my tail between my legs. He smiles as I approach.
“Don’t even say it. If you are going to be following me around I have some ground rules.” I state with my arms crossed.
“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” he smiles
“What is that supposed to mean?” Never mind, it doesn’t matter. Rule #1 keep your hands to yourself. Rule #2 I’m not interested in whatever you have to offer so no more cheesy pick-up lines. And Rule #3 don’t get on my nerves.”
“Wow, anything else?” He laughs.
“Do we have a deal or not?” I ask, ignoring his sexy laugh.
“Scouts honor,” he replies holding up his fingers in what I can only assume is a Boy Scout gesture.
“Fine, let’s get this over with,” I reply with a sigh and proceed to follow after Katie and Brian.
“So what is it you hate about me so much, if I am allowed to ask?” Travis asks beside me.
“I don’t hate you. I don’t know you well enough to hate you. I just know what guys like you are all about and I’m not interested in being some sick notch on your bedpost.” I state putting as much attitude as possible into it.
“You’re awfully judgmental for someone who doesn’t know a thing about me,” He says, looking hurt.
“Am I wrong?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the floor.
“Wow, I mean no offense you’re hot and all but beauty isn’t just on the outside. You’re not really my type so don’t flatter yourself to much darlin.” He states with a huff.
“Who’s judging who now?” Taking obvious offense to his statement. How dare he think I’m not beautiful on the inside. Like he has room to talk, he doesn’t know me either. Why I am so angry? I don’t even like the guy, even if I have imagined what those perfect lips would feel like kissing their way down my neck. I mentally shake my head, no…thoughts like that were not allowed to flow through my mind.
“What, you can dish it but can’t take it?” he smirks.
“Unbelievable, you’re something else you know that! You don’t know anything about me, how dare you judge me like that!” I shout and stomp my foot like a spoiled toddler. Why am I letting him bait me like that, why do I care. I don’t have to take this, I turn around and stalk off away from them. I can hear them all laughing as I turn the corner. I need a new roommate.
Travis
I can’t believe I let her bait me in like that. Who the hell does she think she is? I know I shouldn’t have said what I did, but she doesn’t know me either. I haven’t even known this girl a week and she’s already getting under my skin.
“You’re going to have your hands full with that one,” Brian laughs as he elbows me.
“Hey stop it, she’s a super nice girl maybe she just doesn’t like men. Or maybe it’s you.” Katie smiles.
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. What do I care what some girl I don’t even know thinks about me.” I shrug.
“Whatever you say man,” Brian chuckles.
I trail behind Brian and Katie for a while, in and out of every clothing store you can imagine. My eyes start looking around, searching rather…searching for the blue eyed goddess that I can’t seem to wipe from mind. Shit, I’m a fuckin idiot…I have to find her and tell her I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to her.
“Hey I’ll find you guys later, I’m going to go walk around.” I say.
“Uh-huh, sure you are…go get her bro,” Brian winks at me. He’s knows what I’m doing.
I start back tracking our steps, checking all the stores we had already been too. I head back toward the Macy’s since that’s where I saw her last, but I still don’t see any sign of her. Shit…maybe I’m too late. Maybe she left. Would she do that? Just leave her friend here? Desperate, I start asking random people if they’ve seen her, giving them a detailed description. No luck, she’s just vanished.
I’m about to give up when I hear someone sniffling. Following the sound it leads me down toward the hallway near the bathrooms. I silently pray it isn’t Chloe I hear, if I made her cry I’ll shoot myself. Last time I made a girl cry was 2 years ago, with Sam. Samantha and I were together since high school, she was my high school sweetheart. Followed me out here a couple of years ago. She was amazing. Perfect in every way. Well…almost perfect but everyone has at least one flaw. For Sam it was more of a weakness. She was weak for rich men, powerful men. Of which I was neither at the time. Ironically it was the things I said to her that also made her cry. Guess my mouth can be a pretty powerful weapon. The only difference is Sam deserved those words, Chloe didn’t. Chloe isn’t Sam but my mind has a hard time distinguishing the two.
Chloe
Once out of ear range of them, I pull out my phone and call Mac. He answers right away.
“What’s wrong kiddo?” He asks with concern
“Why does something have to be wrong for me to call you?” I respond holding back tears.
“Well of course it doesn’t kiddo, but I haven’t heard from you all week so I guess I just assumed. I’m sorry. What’s up, are you excited about your first day tomorrow?” He asks, I can tell he’s smiling. You know that way people sound when they have a big smile on their face.
There was silence for a while, I can’t speak, and I know I will burst into tears at any minute. Why did I call Mac, I knew this was a bad idea.
“Kiddo? Chloe? Are you alright?” Mac asks, now sounding a little panicked.
“I’m fine,” I sniff.
“You don’t sound fine, Chloe what happened?” Mac probes. He never uses my name, unless he’s really upset or worried. He’s been calling me kiddo since the day he met me.
“I just, I just don’t think I can do this Mac. I thought I was strong enough…that I could do this on my own but I’m not Mac, I’m just not.” I am sobbing now, I can’ stop the tears from flowing now, I’m in full blown ugly cry mode.
I sit there with my back against the wall of the hallway near the bathroom; attempting to shield myself from people who walk by. I’m sure I look a mess, mascara running down my face, snot plastered to my cheeks. Awesome.
“Chloe, what happened?” Mac asks again.
“It’s nothing, Mac really. I just-I just felt like having a breakdown. It’s silly really and I-I shouldn’t have bothered you.”
“Oh kiddo, you know you are never a bother to me. Now tell me what happened before I drive up there and find out for myself,” Mac declares. He is serious, I know he would do it.
“Can I…can I talk to my dad? I mean, is it-is it a good day?” I ask, knowing I will regret it but I just need to hear his voice.
“He’s okay Chloe, I’ll go get him. Just remember, he doesn’t remember much okay kiddo. So don’t get your hopes up,” Mac reminds me.
“I know, I just-I just need to hear him,” I answer.
“Yeah, I understand kiddo, I’ll get him.” Mac replies.
“Hello? Hello who’s this?” My dad’s voice radiates through the phone, sounding a little bothered by the call. The sound of his voice is comforting to me, its home.
“Uh-hey dad, it’s me…Chloe,” I say. Hoping he will know me.
“Chloe?” He pauses. “Oh, yeah yeah, where are you pumpkin?”
“I’m-I’m at the mall daddy,” I answer, between sobs. He hasn’t called me pumpkin in a long time, I miss that, I miss it so much.
“Are you okay, is he there? Do you need me to come get you?” Dad askes, the tone in his voice changes to panic.
I knew the “he” he was referring to, but I refuse to go back through that memory. That memory is buried and I won’t bring it out again.
“No, no dad. He’s not here, I’m fine. I just-I just miss you that’s all.” I assure him
“Well, I miss you too pumpkin. Is your mom there with you?” He asks.
“Yeah, of course she is daddy, she says to tell you she loves you,” I lie. I’ve been through this before, it’s best to not correct him. Why make him live through that pain again. I am strong, I can handle it, he can’t.
“Oh, okay. Well tell her I love her too. I gotta go now pumpkin, gotta get ready for my shift. I love you.” He says, sniffing a little as if he knows I am lying.
“Love you too daddy,” I reply and end the call as Mac starts talking.
I can’t talk to him, not now. I stand up and start to make my way back toward my car. I decide Katie can get a ride from her new friends.
“Chloe? Hey there you are, wait up a minute will ya?” Travis hollers from behind me.
Great
.
“Just leave me alone, Travis. I don’t have anything else to say to you.” I reply, refusing to turn around. His soft fingers lace through mine and force me to face him. I don’t look at his face, I’m focused on the way my hand feels in his, it’s warm and safe. I pull away quickly and stare at my feet.
“Look Chloe, I’m sorry about what I…”he stops mid-sentence and lifts my chin up with his thumb. “Shit, I-I’m sorry Chloe, really…I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I’m an asshole.” He says and attempts to bring me closer for a hug but I push him off.
“I don’t need your pity or your sympathy. Just leave me alone.” I demand and attempt to walk away yet again.
“Chloe, please…don’t leave like this, let me make it up to you. Buy you a coffee or lunch or something. Come on give me a chance, let me fix this.” He pleads.
My phone starts ringing, Papa Roach’s-Scars from my back pocket, Travis brings his eyes up to meet mine and he looks genuinely sorry.
“You going to get that?” He asks with a small smile.
“No.” I reply. It’s Mac, I can’t talk to him yet.
“Chloe, I really am sorry for what I said back there. I’m not really an asshole, well not all the time at least,” he chuckles and runs his hand through his messy hair. “Please, let me apologize, by letting me get you a coffee or something.”
“Fine,” I sigh, “Let me just get cleaned up a little.” I reply and head into the bathroom.