Room for You (21 page)

“I’ve never had anyone like that … but that doesn’t mean I’ve been alone all this time.”

Her eyes lost their sparkle as the color drained from her face, but I needed to continue. “Part of the territory that comes along with my job is fans, that’s also my favorite part of the job … sometimes. There’s nothing I love more than coming out of the locker room to a dozen kids waiting for me with posters and jerseys to sign. The other kind of fans are the obnoxious, overbearing women who are shoving their tits in my face asking me to sign them and begging for my phone number as I do.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Women ask you to sign their breasts?”

“More often than you’d think.” I sighed. “Anyway, once I signed my contract and started experiencing all this, I swore I’d never be with a fan and I’ve held true to that. But … I have … friends. Girl friends, women, who I’ve trusted over the years to hang out with, to … be with.” Kacie closed her eyes and cringed when I stumbled through that last sentence.

“They are just that, though … friends. I trust them not to run to the media with details, not to sell our story to one of those fucking gossip magazines. That’s who Kendall is … was.” I reached out and put my hand on hers. She still stared straight ahead, no emotion. Or so much emotion that she didn’t know how to process it all. Silence filled the empty space around us. I said nothing, giving her time to feel whatever it was she was feeling.

After what felt like an hour of her eyes darting around, thinking, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Kacie, you okay?”

Her head cocked to the side, her eyes still fixated on the brick brownstone straight ahead. “I think I am.”

“You are?” I asked cautiously, not expecting that response.

“Yeah, I am.” Her gaze floated over to me, and her face looked peaceful. “I get it. You have such a public job, it’s gotta be hard to trust people with that side of you.”

“Exactly!” It took all of my restraint not to scoop her up in my arms and dance around the street with her for being so understanding.

“But … I can’t be a part of that,” she said, shaking her head slowly.

“Wait, what?” Anxiety spread through my chest like wildfire.

“Your past, I get it, completely. The fame, the women, not being able to trust anyone … it makes total sense. I don’t want that, though … that casual, friends-with-benefits thing. I know we said we were keeping this light and fun, but that’s a little too light for me.” She stood up and shoved her hands in her jean pockets. “I can’t let myself get any more attached to you, Brody. I think I’m gonna go.”

“No, you’re not.” I hopped up and gripped Kacie’s shoulders, forcing her to look at me. “I’m done with that, Kacie, all of it. When I stopped at your inn for the night, my life was normal—my life was hockey. Nothing important existed outside of the rink; it was all just filler. Then I met you, and now I can’t stop thinking about you. You did something to me, changed something. And now, all I want is you … just you. And the twinkies.”

She looked off across the street and shook her head slightly. “How do you know that, Brody? How do you know that this is what you want? How do I know that in a month,
I’m
not gonna be tossed aside like the others?”

“I could ask you the same question,” I replied.

“What?”

“You said yourself you haven’t dated in four years, but I know you’ve had offers, so I’m asking you the same question. Why me? What is it about me that makes you want to take a leap of faith?”

“I don’t know.” She searched my face. “There’s not one exact thing, it’s just … you.”

“That’s how I feel too, Kacie. It’s a million little things about you that pile up together and have created this one amazing woman who I’m certain has changed my life. I can’t explain it; it’s just there. We’re gonna have to learn to trust each other on this one.” I cupped her face with my hands and looked straight into her eyes. “This is one big puddle, for both of us.”

Her green eyes softened as she wrapped her arms around my waist, laying her head against my chest. I embraced back, resting my chin on her head.

“Life is a sum made up of small parts, Kacie. Some are good; some are bad. You and the girls are definitely one of the good. The best good there is and I’ll fight like hell to keep you here.”

I didn’t sleep a wink all night. Actually, all morning.

Brody and I stayed awake until the sun came up, curled up in each other’s arms on the couch, talking more about his past. Admittedly, I’d judged him when he told me how he’d been having relationships the past few years and I was wrong for that. I would never understand his situation because I’d never been a professional athlete with women chasing after me, but I could accept it. It wasn’t fair of me to hold how he’d been living against him, especially when we hadn’t even met yet.

He was so honest last night, so sincere, not to mention, irresistible. When he talked, the way his mouth moved, the way he licked his lips, the way his eyes brought whatever he said to life. Intoxicating.

He looked pretty damn cute when he slept too.

I rolled over and looked at him, stretched out on his stomach next to me, sound asleep with his arms pulled under his pillow. His firm back rose and fell with each breath, accentuating each muscle individually. I stared at his tattoo; it was vibrant and clear. I felt like it was glaring back at me, challenging me to doubt his sincerity and character.

It was never the plan for him to sleep in here with me, but after we were done talking in the wee hours of the morning, I’d gotten up to head to bed when he jumped in front of me and blocked the hallway.

“Listen,” he’d said, “after today, I know you’re exhausted and have a lot to process. I told you, I’m patient and I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for, but … will you sleep with me tonight? Sleep, nothing else. I’m just not ready to let you go yet.” His eyes were forthright with no underlying meaning, hard to resist.

“Yes,” I replied, pointing down the hall, “in there.”

He didn’t argue, he just turned and walked toward the guest room while I followed.

Here we were, a few hours later and I hadn’t slept at all. I knew I’d pay for it later, but lying there, watching him just felt perfect. I studied every movement he made, the way his eyes fluttered while he slept, the way the corners of his mouth twitched into a slight grin when something in his dream pleased him.

Hopefully it was me
.

I quietly snuck out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom.

“Ugh,” I mumbled, looking at my appearance in the mirror. My hair was going a thousand different directions, my eyes were puffy from lack of sleep and my cheeks had no color.

I hope he likes zombies.

I tamed my hair into a low ponytail and did a quick mouthwash swish, thinking I’d creep into the kitchen and surprise him with breakfast in bed and hopefully get a kiss in return. My hand was on the bedroom doorknob when I heard him stir behind me.

“Sneaking out?”

He had flipped onto his back and was groaning as he stretched. His body was lean and long, every muscle contracting as he reached out far.

“Nope, I was gonna make you breakfast,” I responded, trying not to drool as I stared.

“Uh-uh, come here.” He lifted the corner of the blanket, insisting I climb back into bed. I didn’t argue.

Curling into his side, he tucked his bicep under my head and took my hand in his, resting it on his chest.

“How are you feeling today?” he asked, kissing the top of my head.

“I feel bad for judging you so hard last night, but I think I’m good. I think
we’re
good.” I rubbed my thumb back and forth across his chest.

“Good. I don’t want anything from my past to affect us.” He sighed contentedly.

“That’s unrealistic though,” I said. “Everything from our past is going to play some role in how we treat each other, and how we respond to the way we’re treated.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed, deciding since he’d been so honest last night, it was time I started sharing too, at least a little.

“Yesterday, when I came in to shower and I asked you about the shampoo?” I slid my face along his chest, looking up at him. He nodded, waiting for me to continue.

“You said you didn’t know what I used so you bought every kind they had. To you, that seemed like nothing, you laughed it off, but to me, that was huge. I’m not used to being cared for like that, it was really sweet.”

He chuckled, his laugh vibrating through my body. “It was just shampoo.”

“Once, when the girls were about six months old, I had just gotten home from working a double at the hospital. It was after midnight when I got home and my car was almost out of gas. I would’ve stopped for it myself, but Zach didn’t let me have the debit card or any credit cards. He controlled the money. Anyway, I asked him to please get up five minutes early the next morning and get me gas, so I’d have enough to get to work the next day.” Brody squeezed me tight as I continued. “I went out in the morning and naturally, he’d blown me off. I went back inside and opened the girls’ piggy banks, but he’d already cleaned those out. My choices were call in sick to work, which we couldn’t afford, or drop the girls at daycare and take the bus from there. So, I hopped in my car and prayed the whole way to the babysitter. About six blocks from her house, my car sputtered to a stop, right past an intersection. I coasted to the side and called him, seven times. The first couple times, it rang before the voicemail picked up. Eventually it just went straight to voicemail. He’d turned it off.”

Brody inhaled loudly as his arm muscles tensed under my head.

“Just as I was pulling Lucy and Piper’s infant carriers out of the car, as if God himself were testing me personally, the skies opened and it started down-pouring on us. Thankfully I had two blankets in the car and I threw them over the girls so they wouldn’t get wet. I walked the rest of the way to the sitter, borrowed change from her and took the bus to work, soaked to the bone and freezing.”

Brody was smashing his teeth so hard, the muscle in the corner of his jaw was popping.

“That’s how our relationship was, that’s all I’ve ever known. So for you to do something for me like fuss over a tiny thing like shampoo was … big.”

“Why did you stay with him?” Brody asked after a moment, shaking his head.

I shrugged. “I wanted my girls to have a family, and I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness to give it to them.”

“Your happiness is just as important as theirs, Kacie. Please tell me you’ve learned that?” He reached down and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand.

I closed my eyes and relaxed into him. “I’m getting there.”

“Good, because if someone ever treats you like shit again, they’re going to have to answer to a very angry hockey player who’s done a good amount of fighting in his career and has a fantastic fucking lawyer.”

The rawness in his voice, the way he threatened and meant it, stirred something in me. I’d never had someone who wanted to protect me before, and it was the single biggest turn-on ever. Suddenly, I was overcome with the need to kiss him.

I rolled onto my side and nuzzled my nose into his neck, gently pushing his jaw up. He tilted his head to the left and eagerly let me have access. I started at the top of his collarbone and licked my way up to his jawline, running my tongue along it.

He moaned and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in tighter. As fast as he pulled me in, he let me go and sat up. “Hang on a sec.”

I propped myself up on my elbows, watching as he jumped out of bed and fumbled his way down the hall in nothing but blue striped pajama pants. A few seconds later, his footsteps pounded along the hardwood floor as hurried back into my room.

He leapt from the doorway and landed in bed with a thud, almost jarring me off the other side.

“Sorry about that,” he growled, climbing on top of me.

“Where did you go?” I giggled in between kisses.

He sat back and flashed that heart-stopping grin at me as he wiggled his eyebrows. “Brushed my teeth.”

I threw my head back and laughed hard. Brody, taking full advantage of my exposed neck by pressing his lips against my skin, planted kisses as he made his way up to the sensitive spot where my jaw met my ear. It was as if someone swept in and took over my body as I was filled with a neediness I hadn’t ever felt in my life, not even with Zach.

“I want you,” I whispered as I fisted my hands in his hair, tugging at the roots.

He froze and I immediately thought I’d done something wrong.

“What?” I breathed in a panicked tone.

He pulled back slightly and leaned his forehead against mine, breathing hard. “Kacie, I promised you we’d go slow. If you want me to go faster, you’re going to have to tell me.”

His words dripped with sensual promise and I wanted to bathe in it. I ached for his hands all over me, reminding me that I wasn’t just a mom but a grown woman with a thirst that he was more than capable of quenching.

I looked him straight in his eyes, matching him breath for breath, willing the words to leave my mouth.